Home Entertainment In Search of Amber Rose: A Man’s Quest For Companionship

In Search of Amber Rose: A Man’s Quest For Companionship

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It’s no secret around these parts that I have a thing for a few women that I really love. I lie to no one. I would snort Rihanna for a living. I think Rosa Acosta is an alien from out of this world. Kim Kardashian is from Krypton. Cassie can do whatever she wants to do. But Amber Rose… Amber Rose is everything.  This year, I named my fantasy football team after her and someone asked me why I did that and I summed it up this way, which I’ll explain in depth a little later.

A long time ago, I was watching a few women in the entertainment business. There names, Cassie Ventura, Kim Kardashian, Rosa Acosta and Amber Rose. I wanted to know how these women were able to remain relevant. I figured it out. Cassie is beautiful and can pretty much do whatever she wants to do. Rosa is a unicorn. Kim K. has Kris Jenner who is the archangel. Kim is the antichrist and an alien from the planet Krypton. Amber Rose however was unique because she possesses a very particular set of skills; skills she has acquired over a very long career. Skills that make her a nightmare for mediocre people. That skill is elevating her man to new heights. I mean think about it, Kanye West went from 808s and Heartbreak to Dark Fantasy. He went from Top 10 to a discussion of ‘Could Kanye actually be the best in the game right now?’ Eventually, they broke up and Amber went on to date Wiz Khalifa. I’m not sure if you know this but Wiz Khalifa didn’t really have all the cards working in his favor from jump. 

But with the power of Amber Rose, you can’t tell him shit. 

And that’s what every man needs in his life. A woman who makes him feel like on any given day, you can’t tell him shit. It’s not about Amber Rose and her pretty pregnant ass, it’s about what she represents.

Now let’s break this down into five very key points about Amber Rose and why I think she is super awesome.

  1. She’s cool with her man’s friends.
  2. She supports!
  3. She’s beautiful, knows it, but doesn’t let it define her.
  4. She doesn’t really care what other people say about her.
  5. The people closest to her all say great things about her.

Not all of us will be able to meet a model chick, who looks awesome in low top Chucks, who doesn’t have a problem sending sexts (with attachments), who digs strip clubs, will roll up even though she doesn’t partake, and who can transform a career from Dark Horse to Seabiscuit, but we can dream. Some of us are living that dream, by the way. A lot of times men look for all the wrong things in a woman. They will stay in a bad situation just because of cute face and slim waist, but it’s the intangibles that make it work. It’s those intangibles that some women think are optional or “nice to have” that really get the job done. For that reason, and that reason only, that is the inspiration and mantra behind, In Search of Amber Rose.

Preemptively I can tell that many who read this will say, “Well you don’t really know Amber, so how do you know?” I always tell people this about celebrities, I’ll take my chances with a celebrity rather than someone I meet off the street. Those are the people that you really don’t know anything about. Whether the public’s view of Amber is right or wrong since it’s not really about Amber Rose and more of what she represents there’s no reason why I should call off the search party.

TGIF, brb gone looking… Dr. J

Comment(173)

  1. Yo, Dr. J, man you hit it on the nail with this one. Man, those five points stated above define what a brother really looks for in a wifey.

  2. while im not big on amber, i agree theres something to the amber and kim k's getting wifed up while a rihanna only has flings. Its pretty much the 5 things you mentioned, thats the dream. im sure commenters will come saying i'm 5/5 where's my man but its something one can't pitch, he has to see it in you without you realizing it.
    My recent post Today’s Word is… SISTER

    1. Rihanna is 24 years old. She is in no rush to get married. Kim Kardashian is 32 and has been pushing to get married ever since that tape with Ray J.

    1. Heck, number 4 alone eliminates d@mn near 75% of people, period, lol. (women and men). Sure, people always say that they don’t care what people say about them, but we all know in many cases that’s blatantly false.

      Now, the people that do a better job of not letting what people say about them tangibly affect them and how they go about their life is a more realistic measure quite possibly. But hell, maybe we’re just talking semantics here and really saying the same thing overall, lol.

      1. I agree that many people say they don't care what people think about them doesn't matter to them when really it does. But I think that might also apply to AMBER ROSE. All we have to go on with Amber is publicity and public statements. Those don't in any way give us proof that she ACTUALLY doesn't care what people think of her. Insecurity (at varying degrees) is a HUMAN trait, after all.

        1. Right, so everyone agrees. Finding all five things are indeed hard to find and this is indeed really life right now. 🙂

        2. The support thing has me thinking… If J's robbery-example defines support then I haven't been very supportive in my last relationship #realtalk. I thought whatever he was doing was cool but I didn't invest time to feel is passion and truely respect it. So thanks J

  3. I swear I don't understand for the life of me why we keep celebrating these talent less women. Especially when there some many wife material sister graduating with grad school degrees and making major moves. But yet the urban black culture is obsessed with strippers. I just don't get it, maybe I never will.

    1. It's not really about what she does but more about who she is… And it's not really about Amber Rose but about what she represents (for him).

    2. As you can see, most of the women listed are not really black. Black men tolerate everything with lightskin , biracial or non-black women. If Amber Rose was dark skin, trust me, she won't even be listed here.

      1. You already know…….what happens when Wiz can't crank out anymore hits? You think she's staying around!?! Hell naw. Light skinned and beige women certainly do get a pass to do "whatever they want" with black men, even if it's being oversexualized and slutty……..

        1. Good looking women get a pass. The Kenya Moores, Stacey Dashes and Bria Miles of the world get passes as well. Tameka (Tiny) Cottles and Tamela Manns of the world do not, despite their light skin.

          Physical appearance the common thread with the women Dr. J named, not skin color.

          Note: I'm not saying Tiny and Tamela Mann are ugly. But they are below an 8 on the attractiveness scale, and aren't getting the "pass" Rosa Acosta would get.

        2. 1. Wiz is getting royalty checks for life what with the Steelers blasting out "Black & Yellow" at every game. He's not gonna be broke anytime soon.

          2. A pass to do what, exactly? I really don't get that argument? Y'all are judging Amber Rose for (allegedly) doing classless h*e ish, but are mad because other complexions can't do h*e ish either? So is being classless good or bad? #pleaseexplain

        3. Don't get me wrong: I'm not asking for "genuine" black women to have a pass to be loose and slutty. However, I'm just refering to black men being softies for light skinned women. And sorry, but the truth is a b!tch with sharp teeth. I'm not dark skinned nor light skinned, but you can't help but as a black woman, feel the adoring slobbering idolizing love that black men have for women like "Amber Rose" and "Kim Kardashian." The latter of which has a sex tape and black men are still lined up for her. Soon as Kanye dumps her materialistic dollar-sign fueled self, another black man will be all just too happy to get with her. I'm just saying, if Amber Rose were chocolate skinned, would anyone talk about "wifing her?" Be for real and be serious. Some of you want that type of woman so you can have your lil' light skinned and good haired babies as well………just sayin'.

    3. What you said is cool and all right… except we wasn't talking about that.

      All I said is that from my perspective of her relationships, she does an awesome job. Ain't nobody talking about what she do for a living or the price of tea in China.

      1. So you would wife her if she was a regular chick then? Considering the type of youngn she is(from what we can see)…ex stripper, came up off video modeling…If it’s like that you might as well go wife a cool youngn from Stadium…Don’t get me wrong,I would definitely kick it with her for a while. Maybe I’m young in the game but when I think about a wife, I’m thinking about her morals, her past, and what type of mother she’s gonna be. I’m good off my daughter seeing her mother in the Worldstar candy archives.

      1. Mannn c'mon that a$$ and a bald head made her money and notoriety. She was something new on the hip hop video model scene.."A thick red bone with a bald head…And she still bad" Nighas went crazy, then Kanye took her to that next level…Most people with a talent and that much spotlight on them are going to find a way to make money off of it. Agreed? She is a regular around the way youngn that made it big due to her look and Kanye saving ass lol…Can we look past how bad she is and be honest for a second?

        1. Really…When did looks become a talent? Last time I checked we are born with them…I could see if she was a athlete or went over the top to maintain her body. How many chicks are born with a naturally cute face and a ass, but actually "do" something. I swear these 'bad' chicks don't have to do nothing but be cute and wait for some captain save em to come along. I had this argument in the barbershop and it was 10 to 1, I can't win..I swear it's the ass and the bald head got everyone's perception over looking the obvious

        2. Percy Jackson: "Really…When did looks become a talent? Last time I checked we are born with them…"

          It's still a talent. People are also born with higher IQs, more athletic than others, etc., and no one argues that being smart or athletic is a talent. Granted, I personally don't think much of Amber Rose's physical appearance myself (she's good-looking, but I don't know why so many guys go nutty over her), but let's not act like good looks don't matter in the professional world. A quick Google search can refute that.

        3. "I had this argument in the barbershop and it was 10 to 1, I can't win…."

          Sounds like you're having a hard time to get people to agree with you on this one, homie. Fortunately this isn't a "who's right and who's wrong" type of discussion. It just so happens your opinion is wrong </STRKE> less popular than most others.

        4. Fam all the music videos she was in … she was fully clothed and not doing anything crazy. Like what about the handful of music videos that she was in was degrading at all?

        5. Step awayyy from defending her as a person and go back to praising the qualities she "represents", lol!
          I was going to originally comment, "The moral of the story ladies? Just be #Bad or #Fine and stay silent, and you'll get a husband. Please disregard the "Pans Get Her Bands and "Why You Can't be FLOTUS" posts from before and just get in that gym and work on that weave!!" HOWEVER, after reading it again I realized I was being WAYYYY too deep. #'s 1-4 can't run a household or raise great kids that contribute to society (with the exception of #4) but make GREAT qualities in a girlfriend. So yeah, I'll co-sign. Ain't nobody on here talmbout bringing a stripper home to his mama or to his company Christmas party to meet the Partners of the firm.

          HOWEVER, and this would be the ONLY tiny issue I have, is that there are other examples of bad, cool, confident, supportive women that WEREN'T strippers (see pic above. Yeah, I'm tooting.). While that isn't the point of this post at ALL, and NOWHERE did he say Amber was a PERSONAL role model for women everywhere, it could be argued that young women are looking at this heaping praise, and re-upping their WorldStarHipHop account with pictures-and that just does NOT work in real life. In real life your past goes wherever you do. In real life ain't no REGULAR dude bringing a stripper to mama. In real life men want a women they can brag about, and not about her home video making skills. In real life sexting can get you in a heap of trouble if you are not careful. Within the context of that industry, she works. But it could also be argued that it's not J's job to point that out, it's our job to know.

        6. Agreed….the Wiz and Amber situation isn't necessarily "real life" so it's relative to them. When I read this I just took it in the context of relativeness. Sure a regular dude isn't bringing a stripper home to mama and a regular woman isn't bringing a fully tatted up from head to toe rapper home to poppa, lol. Agree w/ your point about young women looking up to Amber b/c we see it all the time with young men looking up to rappers and the such.

          "While that isn't the point of this post at ALL…"

          And I agree with you on this point as well 🙂

        7. Tell that to the boy who thinks his neck tattoo will work in a corporate setting. Alls we're saying is "thumbs up-we get the point, but don't try this at home".

        8. Lol You got it as far the stadium thing goes…I guess you disregarded the Black Men Magazine where she got her eagle on. This can go on forever, yall got it…Honestly she is bad and I would definitely kick it with her but she's not meeting moms…Straight up

          SN: This is my first time commenting I couldn't let this one pass lol… Definitely like the topics discussed on the site tho

          I swear after Pimp C pass everybody has been saving everything lol

  4. You just had to go and find the greatest picture of her ever and use it didn't you? I pretty much agree on all counts though. She is really close to being in the "if she comes at me for serious I'm leaving my wife" list.
    My recent post Murci, Murci Me

    1. Great thing about that last comment though is that she isn't coming at you so feel free to stay with your regular ass wife. Unless you're the next Kanye… or Wiz… or *insert other money maker here.* What is it they say about bandz making her dance? Us regular people got our lives to live and the ballers and their mistresses got theirs to live. We can only admire from afar and pretend we have even the remotest chance at getting with them.

      1. I don't get mad if a man considers my past in determining whether he would marry me or any other woman for that matter.

        At the end of the day, she is a stripper, which means she has a certain mentality, which will play out in other aspects of their relationship. Sure, everything is great now. He's rich and famous. While they do seem to be genuinely in love, I'll be interested to see how long this marriage lasts and how her character will change once things aren't all sunshine and roses. Men are SO gullible!! The guys today, I just can't…

        My recent post Answers to Your Common Dating Questions

        1. " While they do seem to be genuinely in love, I'll be interested to see how long this marriage lasts…."

          *Looks at nationwide marriage statistics* I'll go ahead and put the odds at 50/50. Considering one of the top reasons for divorce are finances you're not exactly going out on a limb here with your prediction as many households (famous and non) go through the same issues, relatively speaking of course 🙂

        2. True…we'll see what happens when the checks stop coming in. Rumor has it Lamar and Khloe are headed for destruction. How ironic that he got cut by the Lakers not too long ago…

          If history tells us anything with regards to Black entertainers, Wiz's financial status will likely have plummeted by the year 2020. Maybe if he had chose a woman who could help him invest/save/grow his money (Beyonce) rather than spend it, he'd be in better shape. I don't know though we'll see!
          My recent post Answers to Your Common Dating Questions

        3. To be fair to Lamar Odom he was bummed that the Lakers tried to trade him but when the trade….you know what, forget it, lol. Doesn't matter….

          "Maybe if he had chose a woman who could help him invest/save/grow his money (Beyonce) rather than spend it"

          So we go from finding a woman that has a graduate degre to one that didn't even finish high school? (Beyonce). #sleep

          Wiz needs to choose a good, trust-worthy Financial Planner and an accountant to help him invest/save/grow his money, real talk. Lucky for Jay-Z he married Beyonce so he doesn't need those professionals 😉 (kidding, of course)

        4. So we go from finding a woman that has a graduate degree to one that didn't even finish high school? (Beyonce). #sleep

          #Dead

        5. “Men are SO gullible!!”

          Most men truly are when it comes to these things. I think it’s just the way nature wired them.

      1. This younger generation of man is so misguided and lost. It's like you guys don't even have standards. Do you even consider a woman's character?? THIS is why the divorce rate is so high. You guys are choosing the wrong women to be wives.

        Amber Rose did not elevate Kanye West to new levels. In what world?? He put HER on, not the other way around. She didn't do anything but stroke his already inflated ego. This is all women have to do to pull weak minded men.

        But do what you want…no skin off my back!
        My recent post Answers to Your Common Dating Questions

        1. Younger generation of man? LOL ok. You are #reacting

          "Amber Rose did not elevate Kanye West to new levels. In what world?? He put HER on, not the other way around. She didn't do anything but stroke his already inflated ego. This is all women have to do to pull weak minded men. "

          So then, when women and men get divorced, and men make the argument that she "wasnt with him shooting in the gym" does this comment debunk the theory that a woman's presence in a mans life during a relationship and marriage assisted in his success?

          "THIS is why the divorce rate is so high. You guys are choosing the wrong women to be wives. "

          So women have no hand in the divorce rate being high? Its all in who a man chooses? cool to know!

          My recent post Random Thoughts (A.K.A. the “I aint post in a minute”, post)

        2. YES, young guys are the worst! I feel sorry for my nieces. I am not joking at all. The men she has to choose from worship Lil Wayne and marry strippers.

          The "shooting in the gym" argument is very relevant. I am not one of those women who thought Vanessa would have "rightfully" received half of everything Kobe had simply because she was married to him. However, he's stupid for not signing a pre-nup (Again, gullible). She does deserve to maintain a certain lifestyle, but that can be achieved without receiving half of his worth.

          "So women have no hand in the divorce rate being high? Its all in who a man chooses? cool to know! "

          Unless she asked for HIS hand in marriage, HE'S doing the choosing – and choosing poorly at that.

          But, who am I to judge? If Amber Rose makes him happy, then I'm happy for them, but Amber Rose should not be hailed as the prototype for a wife.
          My recent post Answers to Your Common Dating Questions

        3. She has a point…You can't tell me saving a stripper or a Amber Rose/Kim K type isn't the new "IT" thing in the hip hop culture….C'mon TYGA just had a baby with the chick from King Of Diamonds

        4. Not so, because you blame the "institution" of marriage calling it antiquated and unnecessary rather than blaming your poor choice in partner-selection, and ultimately decide to forego marriage altogether because the divorce rates are so high.

          Silly, I know…
          My recent post Answers to Your Common Dating Questions

  5. Doc J, what makes you Whiz married her for those reasons? Unless you know him personally, if so then my bad, carry on.

    If not, we really have no idea why he married her. He may have just married her because he thought she looked good, she put it on him in the bedroom and he got addicted and was feening like Jodeci.

    Maybe he married her because he wanted the hot chick and wanted to be “that dude” wit the hot chick and he didn’t want anyone else to be able to get her. Kinda like guys wanting the popular hot cheerleader just because she is the popular hot cheerleader, or girls wanting the hot popular jock.

    And didn’t they just get hitched? Who knows how long they will stay together. They may start having issues before their baby is a yr old and seperate. I though Kelis and Nas would stay together for much longer than they did, but life and people can be very unpredictable and sometimes you just can’t call it.

    When I saw Nas on Behind The Music based on what he said I think he was crazy in love with Kelis like Jay-Z with Beyonce. I think he tried to be her everything. I think he would permanently retired from the game and got a regular job for Kelis if she wanted him to. But for whatever reason Kelis wasn’t quite feelin the same level of love for him, (I can’t understand why for the life of me because if Nas was my man we would Never be getting divorced, unless he became abusive on some Chris Brown type stuff).

    1. You missed the point. This post is clearly not about what actually happened. Its about what she represents to him. That's clearly expressed when he wrote "And that’s what every man needs in his life. A woman who makes him feel like on any given day, you can’t tell him shit. It’s not about Amber Rose and her pretty pregnant ass, it’s about what she represents."

      Its an examination of what he thinks her appeal is.

      1. so next question is – What exactly does she “represent?” Maybe it’s a “man thing” because I don’t see it.
        Does every man need a woman who makes him feel like “you can’t tell him sh**?” I beg to differ on behalf of men who need much more than that in a woman future wife.

        1. Men will not commit to a woman who doesn't believe in him. Who doesn't support or push him to fulfill not his potential, but his CAPACITY. Men are much more sensitive than they let on and they are definitely much more sensitive and in need of more support than women.

          So, to bring this back to Amber, wherever she gets these skills from, she knows how to make a man feel like "you can't tell him shit". I can only assume this has come from her stripping days. Same tactics to bring the guys into the club, same tactics to get Kanye to put her on, and Wiz to put a ring on it. Same with Beyonce singing on every other song talking about how Jay puts in on her, or interviews talking about how much of a genius he is. Women who understand their power over men know this is a very valuable attribute. Men want the support from their woman before they want the accolades and money from the public.

          We women need it too, but if we don't get it, we can get it from our friends. But show me any man who needs that boost first running to his boys?? He's running to a woman! ANY woman who will do that job, whether he loves her or not.

          In a previous relationship, my ex wouldn't make a single MAJOR decision without my input. I'm talking about career moves and such. Why did it get like that? Because with my advice, he went from making 200k to making 300k in a 1.5 years.

          Men NEED that confidant and they need it from the woman they envision building a kingdom with.

      2. Peyso my comment/question was geared toward how he could assume the reasons why he married Amber Rose, not what she so called "represents." And what she represents at the end of the day isn't that relevant. Because that may not necessarily be who she is. Maybe the Amber Rose Whiz fell in love with one we the public may not even know. Maybe he fell in love with a side that isn't publicly seen. Thats why I used Nas as an example. I think he fell in love with a side of Kelis much different than her t.v. persona. Many celebrities are not in real life what we see on t.v.

    1. "I had this argument in the barbershop and it was 10 to 1, I can't win…."

      Sounds like you're having a hard time to get people to agree with you on this one, homie. Fortunately this isn't a "who's right and who's wrong" type of discussion. It just so happens your opinion is wrong less popular than most others.

  6. Everybody up in arms about what Dr. J said. As a married man, I’ll say his points are mostly valid. Yet, it’s kinda like the movie Hitch. There are rules that form a baseline, but not all are applicable. Someone will value one rule/perception more than the another, but at the end of the day, what counts is what works for that person.

  7. I dont comment on this blog for months. However, when I return, I realize that one thing has not changed; many commenters cant read well. Some of yall lack reading comprehension is cool. That’s cool. If you think that Dr. J was actually calling any of those people “wifey material” you missed the point. It’s ok. Read it again, you probably wont catch the point but its ok. She REPRESENTS something. She’s representative of a concept. Dr. J could have inserted Michelle Obama, Jada Pinkett or anyone else in that role. I think its interesting that he chose Amber Rose because it shows that a man’s “wifey” can come in any shape, role, or upbringing. But the 5 things she represents are present in any good wife. Dont focus on the woman, focus on what she does for the man.

    Instead, I read silly comments about: 1) a correlation between bad wife selection due to young stupidity and divorce rates (somehow this denigrates all of the women who get married and all of the men who get married); 2) somehow saying that we need to focus on joints with grad degrees (if Dr. J wrote an article about Jennifer who has a grad degree would you really have commented?); 3) another comment that completely type casts women who have stripped or had the appearance of a troubled pasts are unmarriable; and 4) comments that generally are condescending to those who didnt get a bullspit degree in reading boring texts.

    Lastly, all those degrees and ya’ll still cant read well. That’s what’s sad.

    1. You're right.

      But how you gonna call people out for not being able to read with all those grammatical err….

      were you mad when you typed this?

    2. *peeps around the corner* I know I'm late, but it was written just as beautifully today as it was yesterday. *hi fives Peyso*

  8. Stripper talk. Always entertaining. I have no hate for strippers. Some are genuinely down to earth people, some pursuing degrees (gasp), etc. I know that's like a mindbuster for people but it's true. And I get it. Ballet consumes my entire life. Then this rosa acosta person appeared on the scene, as a self-proclaimed classically trained ballerina and I freaked out. The combination of ballerina and half naked pics all over the place really was messing with my head for a while. And then I got over it. That's the problems with categorizing people. You always want to impose your thoughts about the type of person they are based on irrelevant information. Amber's a stripper/ex-stripper and could make an awesome wife. Cool. You go out and be great at whatever you do and be a great wife and all will be well.

  9. Amber Rose may be all of those things but she lacks class. If that's what you want go after it. At the end of the day she's just a girl chasing fame and money…and life is more than that.

    1. I don't think Dr. J was speaking directly at saying he wanted to be with her because she is attractive. I mean, what person wouldn't want to be with an attractive person. The key is that in the public eye, this is one female that clearly demonstrates those top 5 wifey qualities men look for. That's the chick he wanted to use as an example.

  10. It's so funny black men are like "everyone has a past, Amber Rose or Kim K (insert other slutty beige "exotic" woman's name here) is no different than any other woman"…………not saying that "typically black looking" women should be given permission to act a hoe, but it's funny how accepting black men are of other women that aren't black……things that make you go hmmmmm. And a poster above is so right: do you think Amber Rose would be where she is today if she were a few shades darker?????

    1. Yeah, but everyone is entitled to like who they want to like. Hell, look at Gabrielle Union, Brandy, Trina, and etc. These are dark-skinned women and most deal with ballers. Lightskin women don't get a pass….A man has the right to like or have a preference for any type of woman he wants. Until you start paying my bills, mortgage, student loans, or taxes, if I want to be with a dark skin sista or a light skin sista, that is my business…

    2. I'm ridiculously sick of this. EVERY TIME a guy writes a post like this someone comes out of left field throwing the color debate in. I don't know if you realize it but it's HIGHLY insulting and irritating to read about how women of a lighter shade get a pass to do X/Y/Z but darker women don't. In-effing-correct. If anything, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN, be they light or dark, get "passes". Whatever the hell that even means. I'm light. And I'm fairly attractive. But I've been checked about my bullshit just as many times as you probably have. Your posts reek of #WhoHurtYou which is weird to me because, if thats you in your avi, you appear to be a few shades fairer than I. Beyond the fact that this complexion conversation is played all the way the hell out, from what I gathered when I read the post, this isn't even about Amber herself. If's about QUALITIES. I guess Amber Rose was just a good example to Dr. J. And perhaps he's partial to lighter women. But who cares? Everyone is entitled to preferences. Point is, address what the article is about. Not this subliminal pseudo-shots at darker women you think he's taking.

      1. +1 SE. I know colorism is real in some cases but come on. There are pleanty of darkskin strippers/booties models/ celebrities who have a similar past to amber rose but trust they get a pass. It’s about being pretty and having a fat butt. Not about color. I also hate when ppl try to compare an India Ire or Whoopi Goldberg looking chick to a Halle , Rihanna , Amber , Lauren London etc…when it comes to the looks department, then get mad when everyone picks the light skin joint. No offense while indie Ire might have a beautiful spirit she is not on the same looks scale as a Kenya Moore, Gaberial union , Jessica White, Bria Myles, Mia Campbell ( when she was on in the house) ( yes all these women are darkskin and most ppl would consider them a 8 -10).

        If you’ve been reading this site for a while, what you should take away from this post and most of these post are that while men have some similarities , all men are different and what one won’t accept another one will. Deal with a man who can accept and be happy with what you have to offer, that is what Amber did. Also as much as us regular women holler about men and double standards and focusing to hard on a woman’s past, a lot y’all act as if she doesn’t deserve love because she has a shakey background. Why should her finding love with a man like Wiz even bother you if your not looking for a man like that ( weed head with too many tattoos ).

        Everyone has their right to an opinion, and maybe he could have used a different person , but sheesh. And also darkskin, lightskin, Asian , white, most women who deal with these type of men are looking for money. Gold diggers come in all skin colors , shapes, sizes and nationalities .

    3. get over yourself, thats the attitude that makes brotha's look at white chicks, hispanic chicks, asian chicks, and so on and so on.. attitudes like yours .. you aint all that because ya darker then i am, and you aint beneath me either because ya darker then i am.. i got the brotha because i treat him like the man he is and not the wallet you want him to be.. grow up .. if you were a true black lady then you would not be here moaning .. you'd be busy handling ya business with ya man if you had one

  11. Sorry, but P J and other detractors aren’t exactly misreading this post. One approach to “reading…texts” is to pay attention to subtext and to what the writer doesn’t explicitly articulate.

    Using Amber Rose to represent “five very key points” about what makes a “super awesome” woman is self-deceptive at best. No, her looks aren’t doing all the work to “define her”: the celebrity guys she has rolled with have options, and if they really didn’t like her personality type, such guys wouldn’t keep bothering. But her “beautiful”ness, with its public profile, is obviously a crucial reason Amber Rose is being invoked to represent a womanly ideal–despite the righteous posturing about “intangibles.”

    I’m not on any white knight b.s. here. I just don’t see much revelation in claiming that just about any confident, straight man would love a cool, hot chick for life, as represented by a quasi-celebrity stripper/model.

    Generally, I like that straight-talking, non-catering perspective of brothas who run or frequent this site. But there’s no need to insult the intelligence and reading/meaning comprehension of your readership–especially when there’s a large pic of a sexy, half-naked woman with large mammaries leading a post about the “intangibles” she supposedly represents.

  12. It's interesting to me that the people that tend to get high and mighty about their education and condemn celebrities for how they used their looks or sexuality to get where they are actually so superficial themselves that they can't even imagine that Rose & co. could actually have depth and other qualities. Just cause modeling and stripping is what she's done for a living don't mean she dont have other attributes or skills. She could be a world class chess player. She might read more than you do. Some of you basic a** mothaf***ers do the bare minimum for a job that's why you can't fathom have any kind of personality or interests outside of work/school.

  13. Most of the comments here today are proving why the list was so on point. Everybody here worried about her reputation. That's exactly what #4 is about. And that's why she winning right now. The only reason y'all bringing all that stuff up that has NOTHING to do with my post is because you thinking about what people would say about you if you had done those things.

      1. Please don't bring that Bossip bullshyggity here!These brothers on this site are not of that coon-mentality.Have a stadium of seats.

        1. This is hates dark skin women. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. Never seen one in a positive light on this site yet.

    1. As a woman I found this article very interesting primarily because it was from a male's perspective and made sense from within the context he made his conclusion. The bottom line is that he's points out that Amber Rose brought more to the table than a pretty face and body. That her "way of being" is supportive and collaborative, which apparently is what men are attracted to. Well, that is insightful if you're open to hear directly from a man what he values. We as women don't have to agree . . . it doesn't matter. Because It is what it is meaning that,perspective is everything . And it's useful information.

    1. You know Streetz… LOL!! They read it, but I guess they are trying to figure out how Dr. J can relate such awesome qualities with Amber Rose. I'm going to assume that it is impossible for a "media ordained" hoe to have such a wonderful personality and traits that most men would love to obtain in a relationship of their own.

      You can't be freaky and have a good personality. That's just wrong. What is that? Like double negatives or something? LMAO!!!

      If I had the tools, I would knock Amber up too LLS! (IJS)

    2. It's not reading what they want. It's looking at this piece of writing in a larger wide range scope. It's taking it and comparing it to other theories and ideas towards….sexism, racism….whatever. The point of a blog is to spark conversation.

      The blog sparked conversation….I'd say J's job is done. It's not about agreeing or not agreeing with what he wrote.

  14. I don't get the comments about Amber's light skin and that if she was darker black men wouldn't say all that good stuffs about her…
    I don't understand what her skin complexion has to do with anything in this post!!!
    ("beige women" really?! we say that now?! O-LA-LA)

  15. LOL why are people so mad today?? Did y'alls direct deposits not hit last night or something? It's Friday, you MUST chill.

    Let's look at the qualities he listed.

    "She’s cool with her man’s friends.
    She supports!
    She’s beautiful, knows it, but doesn’t let it define her.
    She doesn’t really care what other people say about her.
    The people closest to her all say great things about her."

    Next to no one had an issue with these specific qualities, right? So why are y'all bringing up your outside insecurities into the situation? You have a problem with Dr. J picking mostly lightskinned women? Or that she was is a stripper? Don't date Dr. J then…that has nothing to do with this list. Where is everyone's reading comprehension skills? Everyone's Amber Rose is relative.

    *drops mic and strolls out to C-Murda*

    1. Could we stop the pretense that color tendencies–among and outside Black Americans–are merely a matter of personal "preference" and don't also have a history and a present reality? Of course, people have a "right" to like or be turned out by whatever (non-criminally) they want. But this doesn't mean that our preferences are entirely free of color bias.

      I don't say this from a position of righteousness in my own life. I'm not telling myself, though, that no deeper reflection about my tastes and choices is warranted.

      Obviously, the "key points" listed had nothing to do with color preferences. Those preferences came in with the examples given of women who…I don't know, apart from the particular woman who was invoked as representing an ideal woman.

      1. Who's ignoring what? I didn't deny that color bias existed. I just don't see how it applies here. All of the women listed there are objectively attractive, and people are mad that he didnt list one darker skinned chick off GP as if that implies something greater. It'sthe same logic that compels white people to list all their black friends to prove they aren't racist. So stupid.

        Also, as valid as color discrimination may be, the flawed logic in which it is applied is so absurd that it rarely even makes sense when used. See: eighty percent of today's comments. To imply that te only possible reason why those women are found attractive is because of their looks is so sophomoric and says a lot about the complainant. Are we never supposed to compliment light skinned chicks again? Smh.

        But ultimately it has nothing to do with today's article.

        1. When you stop “smh,” you might want to look up the concept of a straw man. Others pointing out a possible issue–whether or not you happen to see it or agree–doesn’t mean that they are “insecure,” “mad,” “stupid,” “sophomoric,” unwilling to read, etc. So you also might want to look up the concepts of projection and denial.

          If Amber Rose represents some brotha’s wifely ideal, that really isn’t a problem for me. To each his own.

    2. Shamira: "Next to no one had an issue with these specific qualities, right? So why are y'all bringing up your outside insecurities into the situation?"

      For that very reason: they are insecure.

      They probably didn't even read the five characteristics, they just saw a picture of Amber Rose, saw Dr. J named Rosa Acosta and Rihanna, every insecurity they had spilled out through their fingertips, and attributed Dr. J's preferences (and nothing is wrong with his preferences) to all men.

  16. hm. these comments made me late to the gym..

    1) The fact that every single one of the women the writer listed looks more European by way of skin color and/or facial features, leads us (“black” women) to believe that this is the “single black man’s” ideal: racially ambiguous/european-ish/”exotic” women+ 5 traits = winner (this is why the color thing is raised. Others couldve been mentioned like J. Hud, Indie Arie, or say, Kimberly Elise). The reason why im not tripping though is b/c of my next point:

    2) I don’t know the writer but on the real, you and every man who is reading this post will more than likely end up with an outstanding normal woman: an accountant who blogs on the side, can make a bomb steak but burns popcorn, with a not so Cherokee-esque booty and a cute “pooch”, slight residue in her hair b/c she’s been experimenting with hair products, and has hormonal acne–all you will endure b/c she posses your 5 traits and so much more (i hope). This is the inevitable truth most women know but men will never admit/won’t come to terms with which is why they end up with war stories. And yes, same hold true for women. The guy we can live forever with/stand for more than 1 night will probably not come packaged like boris kodjoe or idra alba..in fact he’ll have razor bumps we can see and a beer but that he tries to suck in *shrug*

  17. I think a major oversight is that even with mentioning the women who he is physically attracted to, he still made a separate space for Amber Rose. Nobody is denying that we’ll end up with someone “average” who holds the 5 traits because the 5 traits were the most important. I’m not attracted to Rhianna and Amber Rose because they are fair skinned but because they are iconic and kind of odd. But just because I find them attractive doesnt mean that I’m repulsed by the opposite. I’m not attracted to India Arie or J. Hud but I am attracted to Jill Scott. Janelle Monae. The girls from Dirty Money. But the post wasn’t about the level of attractiveness or a physical type.

    1. i hear you and can see your points. And I agree, the post wasn't ALL about physical type.

      1) Humans make meaning of the world through patterns and volume. For lots of women (black in this case), the reality is that we think men MUST like women like Amber, Ri, Halle, etc b/c the author, like so many in the media, consistently celebrates "iconic and odd" women who all have similar features. This then reinforces this misconstrued standard of beauty that so many women literally bleach their skin for (as an example). Im not saying the author by himself is responsible for this or that he should say he likes women like Indie Arie just so women dont feel bad. But at the very least, he could've acknowledged the fact that his traits can be found in other types of celebrity women that maybe more women can relate with.

      2) Celebrities are supposed to be iconic and odd which is why it is problematic to compare the woman you want to date/marry to Jill Scott or the women from Dirty Money or Rhianna. Even if you mean in terms of personality…these women's "personalities" are inflated by the mere fact that they are celebrities. I love Jill and if i were a dude, i'd be infatuated with her! lol But celebrity status tells us nothing about who she really is so I would never say (if i were a dude), I want my woman to be as seductive, sexy, and soulful as Jill Scott. What we (meaning women) feel like is that men take these celebrities and label them normal–then proceed to look for every day women to meet this false ideal in both physical and non-physical terms.

  18. My childhood Bestie’s mom had the bald-blonde thing going on in the 1990s. She couldn’t sing but that didn’t stop her from grabbing any microphone she could reach, she was a very popular bartender at the grown folks spots , always wore something green, and she could drive a red Miata (manual). The combo drove men insane.

  19. While I agree that these are traits you should look for, I think Amber Rose is a questionable choice for the traits. I think she is a good looking chic (of course) but to say she propels her men from their current stature (i.e. make them hot) is reaching. She got pulled out of the strip club and Kanye made her hot. He is the star. But back to those traits you listed, I feel like she would have to cooperate and lift up these cats because thats the only way she is able to eat. Without Ye or Wiz would she be eating the same? So to look for a woman to take care of for the trade off of her good looks and cooperation = tricking to a certain degree (for me). Just my opinion tho.

    I like women with ho’ish pasts (and present status too) but only for recreational purposes…future mother to my kid and wifey…I’ll pass. That kid will grow up and google mom one day and see the Mediatakeout pics of where he came from and be MORTIFIED. But hey, to each his own.

    Cheers.

      1. I do in fact but actually if they have a ho’ish past – I think they already know. In my travels women who are ‘free spirits’ (if that sounds better) tend to know what it is. I do not believe in fooling anyone. We live in a very transparent era now so you really dont have to hide anything or lie about what the situation is. Also most all women know if a guy is not trying to be with you long term it is probably recreational.

        1. Oh k.I’m probably a lot older than u since I don’t know about this transparent era that u speak of but I think u may have your ideals a little mixed up see because ho’s & strippers (in the literal sense) are working to put food on the table & pay the light bill so perhaps u meant to say a slut?& I can tell you’re one of those righteous people but I think some would agree that morals don’t pay the rent so u don’t know what amber roses circumstances were or all the other women that you’re generalizing.however I think it’s fine if u are making your ideals known (uninformed & stuck up as they are) & if that ho still chooses to duck with u that’s on her

        2. So I'm stuck up for NOT celebrating Amber Rose and her 'achievements'? You sound like you may have been some guys recreation yourself and that is the reason YOU are making uninformed comments. Amber Rose sells sex…stripping, sexy poses for Vodka, being the big booty eye candy on various rappers arms (Fab, Kanye, Wiz, <insert rapper name> – so this is the information I have…dont know about what you see. The transparency we live is shown on social media…we live in an era of attention whores (look at me…over here) and with that those items I mention about her is what she is selling….so what can I say – I guess I bought it. Clearly what you are selling it bitterness. Dust that off and dont let the next dude make you think its more than recreation. Just remember babe that if he doesn't want you to meet his momma…well you know. Happy Thanksgiving.

        3. I’m white.they never want me to meet their mama.jk but seriously I was just trying to drop some knowledge on u that women with pasts are people too & don’t worry ‘babe’ no charge for u.u said that this transparent era is the reason that they would know you’re just using them & then your second paragraph had no bearing @ all to that so ‘clearly’ u don’t make any sense;I don’t talk about anything I don’t know about so nothing I say is uninformed.I hope you’re super duper fine with that shitty attitude & there’s no reason to resort to rudeness just because you’re a jerk.thx so much for the kind holiday wishes & u too

        4. No..the transparent world we live in relates to all the statements I made:

          1. No reason to lie about things that are openly broadcasted daily. The news bust cheating guys all the time – right? So most younger men dont even hide the fact they are only interested in sex. Why should we? Women are aware of this and STILL choose to continue. Transparent = seen through without being hidden.

          2. Amber Rose and her story is relatively transparent in the sense that so much of her journey is on public display…for her financial gain…through various high paid dudes with whom she KNOWS only wants sex from her…because that is what she sells. That's not saying she is not a person…she is just a person who happens to sell sexy. No harm in that…just realize that is what people are buying too. This also relates the attention whore statement (all the 'look at me' = selling).

          Sorry for the confusion. I may have been typing too fast…or maybe you are just reading too slow. No harm either way.

          Some of the context you are using shine light on a few things for me so I understand your passion to defend her…(jerk, using women, uninformed, stripping to put food on the table, stuck up, righteous)

          It must be hard out there. Remember what Diamond said though: Make the money Ebony – Don't let the money make you.

        5. who’s diamond?ok well I can see my work here is done & you’ve seen the error of your ways *sarcasm* so good luck with all that

  20. Loved the article! 5 keypoints are ON POINT!! I would totally wife Amber! She is gorgeous, belly and all. (sn: I know I'm about to catch hell, lol)

    It's very unfortunate to find that we women have to be straight up "prudes" in order to be considered wife material,get married,etc… Confession: I USED to strip, I am bi, take my FIANCE' to the strip club on a reg… I'm cool with his friends, I support everything he does, I feel that I am beautiful, knows it, but doesn’t let it define me, I don’t really care what other people say about me or else I def wouldn't be posting here, and the people closest to me all say great things about me (at least to my face, lol). I didn't realize how excrucitatingly painful it was to do these things for your man. 2 kids and I haven't seen where my past/current stripper abilities has affected my parenting skills. I have a degree in auto technology systems, 2 full-time jobs, My fiance' is very happy and so are my babies.

    1. I totally understand Dr. J. A friendship with your partner is vital to any relationship (just my opinion) Amber's made for TV, this is her job. She's here to piss you off (LOL) and she's doing a helluva job. She deserves a raise!

  21. I love her! I could not agree more. She is just fascinating to look at. Does not have to say a word or do anything, she is just there and she commands attention. One of the best celebrity girlfriends ever!

  22. I think Amber Rose is a blank slate so this writer is projecting all his fantasies of what a perfect woman is on this blank slate. He had all kinds of claims of (but no evidence for) what she did for Kanye who was already a super star when she got with him… now he's claiming she's brought Wiz Khalifa's stock up, who was already banking when she got with him.

    This chick has barely ever spoken two coherent words…but now she's something that is a dream? And this is only true because no one knows anything about her. So she is like a unicorn. Amazing in fantasy, but little to no bearing on reality.
    My recent post SNL does Paula Broadwell

  23. On a more positive note, I admire Amber for not making the same mistake with Wiz that she made with Kanye. She has the ring and the baby right off rip!! She didnt waste her time. She is now a guaranteed millionaire!! She is a bonafide hero to me!! She has my utmost respect and support. When you stumble upon a goldmine, dig fast!!

  24. (edited version) Puullleez! this man doesnt know anything about Amber Rose!! I would have more respect had he simply told the truth. None of the women on his list are black, which is indicative of what he finds beautiful. Amber Rose is the closest thing to a white woman without officially being one. There is nothing wrong with having a preference, but be man enough to own it, instead of boring the world with this subliminal bs!!

    (is this better! cthu)

  25. (edited version) Puullleez! this man doesnt know anything about Amber Rose!! I would have more respect had he simply told the truth. None of the women on his list are black, which is indicative of what he finds beautiful. Amber Rose is the closest thing to a white woman without officially being one. There is nothing wrong with having a preference, but be man enough to own it, instead of boring the world with this subliminal bs!!

  26. What about michelle obama? I agree with what the lady said up top. She is a blank slate you project a fantasy on. She did not revamp wiz's career she came in when he was hot. Im not denying her validity as a giod partner but i feel like a lot of reaching was going on. Ppl say its not a skincolor thing i might have to side eye that. Its nothing wrong with dr. J having his preferences but come on bra. You could have picked a way better example. This article should have just been title 5 reasons i love amber rose.

  27. So THIS is what I missed Friday?! LMBO!

    The 5 points are very real and fair…well accept #4. There's not a person on the PLANET that doesn't care what ANYONE thinks. I don't believe that one bit, lol. What I think you mean is that a woman who's confident in her own thoughts/beliefs/opinons/choices despite what others may think about her is WINNING. That, I agree with. But, that doesn't mean she doesn't care…or that she isn't affected by it.

    And I see Dr. Js preferences in women are rubbing folks the wrong way again…completely overshadowing the point of his post, LOL. Story of your blogging life, right Doc?! LOL…

    1. +1. However, I think what Dr J should take from this is that he’s so transparent, it’s effing ridiculous. His preferences are so clear…and it’s okay, but he needs to stop pretending or being oblivious to the fact that it colors his writing, and people can see that.

      This response is late, so he may not respond to it, but even as a lurker, I know dude likes to respond all brashly like nobody can tell him nothing. Doesn’t matter…just wanted to put that out there.

  28. I never really thought of Amber Rose that way and when i do i can understand why guys like her. Besides her looks and the fact that she has mad stripper skillz. But you know, those are great qualities for a guy to have. Being supportive, confident in your looks and personality, getting along with your SO's friends and having people that actually know you say good things are qualities everyone wants their gf/bf to have. So why do so few people concentrate on that? When i hear about what guys want it's usually something like "tits this big, hair that long, her own money" or something like it. I'm not going to lie, most women end up talking about a guy's height, his money, or his mother (can't have a too involved MIL apparently) Are people just not mentioning this stuff? Or do they genuinely not start thinking about it until they get around to looking seriously?

  29. Amber Rose looks 100% define her. No one…. and I mean NO ONE… will be interested in her at 50 years old. Get outta town with this nonsense.

    If you really value these things you say you do… then associate that with the list you made… you are the biggest fool in the world.

    Amber Rose didn't support these men… ROFL. She can recognize who is about to be hot and sidles up them. She is the expert golddigger in action.

    1. As a woman I found this article very interesting primarily because it was from a male's perspective and made sense from within the context he made his conclusion. The bottom line is that he's points out that Amber Rose brought more to the table than a pretty face and body. That her "way of being" is supportive and collaborative, which apparently is what men are attracted to. Well, that is insightful if you're open to hear directly from a man what he values. We as women don't have to agree . . . it doesn't matter. Because It is what it is meaning that, perspective is everything . And it's useful information.

  30. And here I was thinking that the top 5 was she:

    1. Doesn't need your for the money but wants you for your heart
    2. Can cook
    3. Is clean and well-groomed
    4. Is attractive to you
    5. Is a great supporter and companion for your eyes and those close to you

    I guess it's all wrong and all girls should just look up to Amber Rose's skills…

  31. F.uck all of you black itches with a gonorrhea d.ick. Seriously.

    Even though we were talking about intangibles, looks DO matter. Stop laying your ugly girl arguments at black men's feet & stop ignoring the men that want to show you love to your ungrateful a$$es.

    Black men are not allowed to have preferences or reject black women for any reason but the other way around is all good.

    "F*ck It. They gon' judge me anyway" Classic

  32. As a woman I found this article very interesting primarily because it was from a male's perspective and made sense from within the context he made his conclusion. The bottom line is that he's points out that Amber Rose brought more to the table than a pretty face and body. That her "way of being" is supportive and collaborative, which apparently is what men are attracted to. Well, that is insightful if you're open to hear directly from a man what he values. We as women don't have to agree . . . it doesn't matter. It is what it is. And it's useful information.

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  35. I am over the hump as far as age goes, but after reading about Miss Rose, Amber, i have no doubts that she would be the perfect woman for all seasons. She is Beautiful, smart, Ambitious, but humble. I do not see many women of her caliber and I am over 60, wishing I was only 35. She is a help mate, and a true companion, Individuals, should never use a double standard when judging women,, because some have done worse than strip, things which brought out in public would damage you forever. Women have the same desires as we men do, so what if she was a stripper. How many never were but will seldom support or uplift their companion. Amber is Awesome.

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