Sports Hate: The Teams and Players That Make Me Sick

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Last Saturday was an awful sports day for me. It started off fine; my Wolverines blew out Iowa on Iowa’s Senior Day. Ohio State won, but it was completely for nothing because they are ineligible for a bowl this season (:-D). And there was some early afternoon NBA scheduled. Nothing wrong with that.

After sundown, it all went wrong.

Notre Dame, the number three team in the nation, shutout a horrible Wake Forest team just as Kansas State and Oregon, the teams in line to play for the National Championship, both took surprising upset losses. And just like that…I was pissed. Notre Dame will play for the National Championship in January as long as they beat USC (whose starting quarterback is hurt) this Saturday. This is one of the worst outcomes I can imagine. Let me explain…

Notre Dame is also the number three team on my Sports Hate Rankings. Right behind Duke Men’s Basketball and Ohio State everything. After cursing at my television for a while, I started to analyze my levels of Sports Hate: the teams that have earned my irrational hatred for a variety of reasons. Here’s how I break it down:

The Media Darling

These are the teams and players the media have dubbed as untouchables. When they make mistakes, the commentators find a way to blame it on someone else. When they do anything even remotely good, the media goes overboard to praise them. Just like parents when their kid draws an ugly picture of a bird…yeah it’s ugly, but they need the encouragement. This is especially frustrating because it assumes fans are either blind or stupid. Thanks, John Gruden, but I just watched Peyton Manning throw a wounded duck directly to the defense. Please don’t try to convince me that it was somehow the receiver’s fault.

Prime offenders:

Peyton Manning – The king of the “It Ain’t My Fault” interception. And get off my TV with all those stupid commercials. I’m never buying a Buick. Look at that smug face. Ugh.

Brett Freaking Favre – The king before the king. He has as many rings as Trent Dilfer, and more interceptions than anyone ever. Glad he took his Wrangler jeans back to Mississippi.

Duke Basketball in General – Did you know Duke has a scandal currently hanging over its head? Seems like news, right?

Tim Tebow – ESPN set up shop at the New York Jets’ training camp this season so we could watch the team’s punt protector overthrow receivers and generally be terrible at football. Who approves this crap?

The Rival

Of all the teams I Sports Hate, these are at least somewhat justifiable. My dad indoctrinated raised me as a Detroit sports and Wolverines fan from birth. I wore number 4 as a kid when I played basketball as an homage to Joe Dumars and Chris Webber. I had no say in the matter. Since he did such a good job turning me into the Manchurian Candidate, I can’t stand Ohio State athletics or that stupid “THE” they put at the beginning of the school name. We get it. You went to the state college of Ohio. Congrats?

Sadly, since most of the teams I root for are so bad now, I can’t consider any professional teams a rival. Your team has to realistically have a chance to win to think of their team’s “rival” as an actual rival (with no quote marks).

Prime Offenders:

Ohio State Buckeyes – The only one for now, but I reserve the right to change this list as my teams become less terrible.

Wildcards

As a Sports Hater without boundaries, I usually keep a few spots in my rankings for teams and players who distinguish themselves as hateable. These usually make no sense, but Sports Hate is irrational – I don’t really need a reason.

Prime Offenders:

OJ Simpson – Set the race back a few decades. Once he tried to sell the If I Did It book, I was officially done with him.

Miami Marlins – Their commitment to fielding a terrible team and running it like any other commodity makes them so very hate-worthy. Last week’s trade moved them up a few places.

New York Yankees – Mostly because of their fans. Yankee fans in general feel their team’s success is a birthright, Mariano Rivera is Jesus, and we’re all idiots for cheering on other teams. This makes them pretty terrible to be around during baseball season. Since that lasts 162 games and 7 or so months, it makes the Yankees a fun team to root against.

I think that wraps up my Sports Hate pretty well. What about you, SBM Sports Fans? Who are the players and teams that get under your skin? Do you always have a good reason? Let me know in the comments below!

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  • J. Crawford

    For the sake of making this post interesting, I'll play, Sargent:

    I realize you're still hurt from the Tigers getting swept from the World Series, and your Pistons are what, 2-9??? I hate Notre Dame, Tebow, the Yankees and even Farve, but your dislike for Duke, Peyton Manning and THE Ohio State University is sad; Woosah and Let it Go. Just be Lucky OSU is ineligible right now, cuz Last Year's Wolverine victory over the Buckeyes meant Nothing and was before Meyer became Head Coach.

    • Joe Sargent

      Must admit, I am nervous at what Meyer can turn OSU into. Thanks for not putting tOSU by the way. I'm all in for Brady Hoke, but Meyer's Florida teams would have owned the B1G. Hopefully we have a bunch of top 5 matchups between UM and OSU in the near future.

      I have recovered from the Tigers sweep since we have Victor Martinez and Torii Hunter on deck. We'll be ok. Pistons…no words for that Parade of Losers.

    • BlueSteele

      You hush your mouth you speak on my Wolverines! (Can't remember what movie that's from.)

  • http://twitter.com/InAnimateAlpha Animate

    The only teams in sports I hate is Alabama and Notre Dame Football. Born and raised in AL you'd think this was blasphemy but Bama fans bring out a special kind of hate. Notre Dame hate comes from the Ty Willingham nonsense. You can't fire a man and then give his successor an extension in his first season using the players of the guy you just got rid of!

    If the BCS ends up UA-ND I'm not watching.

    • Joe Sargent

      I thought everyone in AL had to pick Alabama or Auburn. Do you like AU at least?

      • http://inanimatethoughts.blogspot.com Animate

        While I do root for Auburn, its more so because I almost attended and it was like a second home during my days at Tuskegee. I don't play that root for the state or conference nonsense. My team is Florida State and that's all that matters to me.
        My recent post Murci, Murci Me

        • WAChick

          Team Orange and Blue! ;-)

  • Peter Parker

    As a true, die-hard Tarheels fan, I can not stand DUKE anything! It really irks me when I see them on the court. I will also add that I am a big Dallas hater (MAROON AND GOLD ALL DAY!!!) Enough said.

    I will say there are not too many players I don’t like, but the one that comes to mind is Kobe Bryant. Skill wise, the dude is nice. I just wish he didn’t ask so MJ-like..Be your own icon bro…

    • Joe Sargent

      Figure Kobe is on a lot of lists. I don't have any of that in me for whatever reason. I find the MJ-ness and creation of his own nickname incredibly corny, but it just makes me laugh at him mostly.

      • Larry

        You know what’s funny and ironic about the criticism of Kobe trying to immulate Michael Jordan? The fact that one of the most successful and popular sports marketing campaign was Jordan’s “Be Like Mike” commercials. I’m sure EVERYONE knows how the jingle goes. Everyone wanted to be like Mike. Then a player comes along that actually rivals Michael Jordan who patterns parts of his game after his and he gets criticized for being “too” much like Mike, lmaooo. I find this hilarious.

        The nickname thing is corny I admit…I felt the same way when Shaq was giving himself all those silly nicknames. At least Kobe picked a decent one, though, lol.

        • Joe Sargent

          Really good point about the "Be Like Mike" thing. Hadn't considered that. I just pictured white kids saying "Jordan!" while taking fadeaways in the park. Kobe really internalized it, haha.

  • AfterMath

    I hate Notre Dame, but less because of the media darling and more because of what they did to Ty Willingham. That was complete disrespect.

    I hate everything Duke for what they stand for more than the media darling thing, but being a Terp also helps with this (sucks leaving the ACC).
    My recent post Shade The Cells Puzzle

    • Joe Sargent

      I gotta write something on this crazy conference realignment at some point. Haaaaaaaate it.

      • AfterMath

        I'd be more upset at UMD if everybody else wasn't doing it. And that Maryland could leave the ACC means that everything's up in the air.
        My recent post Shade The Cells Puzzle

        • J. Crawford

          If Rutgers also comes to the B1G, they along with Maryland will get pummled by the Buckeyes, Wisconsin, Nebraska, and a suprisng Michigan State. They can have their flake wines against Penn State, Minnesota, and Northwestern, but that's about it

      • Kyle

        I would love for a conference realignment article, but it's impossible to keep that any shorter than 15 pages haha. So many ifs and thens. So many people who have "insider knowledge" about how this is all going to play out.

        Next move seems like it's on the remaining Big East football schools. The new kids from the west are trying to get back into the MWC. So that'll leave UConn, USF, Lousville, Cinci, etc all homeless with nowhere to play. That is unless the Big East gets aggressive and goes after 4-5 new schools quickly… but who in their right mind wants to sign up for Big East football? That might be what ends up settling things down. Football schools all leave the Big East and the little Catholic schools remain to be the basketball-focussed conference it was always intended to be.

    • BlueSteele

      "I hate Notre Dame, but less because of the media darling and more because of what they did to Ty Willingham. That was complete disrespect. "

      THIS

  • Uncle Hugh, BP

    I can't say I have a team I hate right now. I would probably say the Bears, but I'm much more of a basketball fan than a football fan, and the Packers have owned them the last few years. It's hard to hate a team or player that isn't a threat. That's like hating the Sacramento Kings.

    I can say I hated the 2005-2007 Phoenix Suns and Steve Nash stealing MVPs from Shaq and Kobe. Mainly because people wanted Nash to be the man so badly, that they redefined what MVP means, and they honestly believed they could beat the Spurs (and used those suspensions as a justification for losing to a team that owned them).

  • The Real AD

    Hating sports teams is what makes sports fun. You can't have a great story without an equally great villian. Which is why the NBA got so many casual viewers last year because non-basketball fans tuned in to see why everyone hates Lebron. Thats also why I had to retire from fantasy sports. Its hard to hate a guy when you need him to score 4 TDs in one game ala Al Bundy.

    Its easy to hate the rival teams, I mean thats what makes a rivalry. Seeing OSU or GB win anything makes me physically ill. Most of the players and teams outside of that is on a case by case basis. The Dook hate is almost second nature to me. Its to the point when I see non-Dook students who are fans I need them to explain it to me. I just don't see how its possible. I guess because I grew up in the Christian Laettner country club era of Dook. Seriously how could anyone not hate that team

    • Joe Sargent

      I always ask non-Duke students what's up with their fandom as well. Seems like the type of person who would remind the teacher to assign homework at the end of the day as a kid. GTFOH!

  • Larry

    Well, seeing that I grew up in Ohio and live in Columbus it comes as no surprise that I am a huge fan of THE Ohio State University! lol. And for for clarification purposes for those that don't know, the "The" in front of the name is actually part of the official school name along with about 20+ or so other universities in this country. The fact we like to say our actual full legal school name shouldn't leave that much of a sour taste is people's mouths (but we know it does, which is why all OSU fans inflect it so much…no surprise there).

    Also, I think it's well known I'm a huge Laker fan. With that being said I really only hate 2 sports teams. That "team from up north" (that we beat 7 out of the last 8 years) and the Boston Celtics.

    Outside of those two I'm pretty much a rational sports fan. Maybe it makes it less fun, but I find humor and entertainment poking at people's irrational sports logic, lol.

  • Magg

    Yall aren't into soccer uh… I can't barely breathe around a FC Barcelona fan… I loose all my senses next to Paris SG fans… These are the 2 teams i can't stand just writting their names made me go crazy *ok i breathe, i breathe*

    Since im a die hard Lakers fan (in my mind i think i am the coach they need) i hate people who hate Kobe, i hate the Celtics, and slowly but surely the Clippers are becoming a problem!!!
    I used to love Wade, but i don't know something in him changed… He's classless, cocky, looses his temper easily, and i don't like how he's handling things with his babymomma (LOL nothing to do with sports, im sorry, im so girly!!!)… I hate Anthony because he's my ex-boyfriend's favorite players (AHAHAHA) NOW that's totally irrational because he's a hell of a player, and im sure that deep down i appreciate him, but i just can't let it show AH!

    • Joe Sargent

      You know…I want to be into soccer a lot more than I AM into soccer, if that makes sense.

      I've spent the last couple years trying to follow it and gain an appreciation for the build ups…just hasn't taken yet. I'd like to see a few games live. I think that would help.

      Don't really get your issue with FCB tho. Real Madrid seems like a much more hate-able team, lol.

      • Magg

        You know what i feel you! i grew up in Europe, over ther soccer is a religion. People die for that sport lol. Since i moved in north america now, im way less into it! And the level of the MLS is not that serious… So it makes it hard to be THAT into it.

        About your comment on Real Madrid: WHATTTTTTT?! Don't go there!!! lol

  • InsomniaPoet

    I guess this is a man's world but I had to comment. When it comes to hating sports teams, I HATE HATE HATE the New Orleans Aints and all there horrible voodoo doing fans! Living in Atlanta during and post Katrina we had a huge influx of Aints fans and I have never hated any team (or their fans) as much as I hate the Aints. It is to the point that I watch AINTS games and seriously root for any team they are playing against. I shed actual tears at the bar when we lost that game to them a couple weeks ago. I mean actual tears. It sucked that our undefeated season went out the window but it suck 200x more that the Saints were the ones to do it. They are the type of fans that even if we don't lose another game this season (including to them on the 29th) and win the Super Bowl (praying for my opportunity to dirty bird in body paint on peachtree) they AINTS fans will still say oh but we beat you. I wish them and there whole team would end up at the bottom of the ponchartrain. oh silly ass who dat?!? speak english you ignorants effs! sorry if this is too harsh. but really i am not sorry i mean every word.

  • InsomniaPoet

    please excuse my there/their typo but my fingers were moving with fury!

    • Magg

      ahahahahahahahaha It looks like we women sports fans tend to be SUPA DUPA emotional!!!

    • J. Crawford

      Well, if anybody needs to be on the list NFL- wise it has to be the Patriots; I like Bellicheck, Brady, Welker and Gronk INDIVIDUALLY, but the TEAM is Overrated.

      • Larry

        I don't understand how the Patriots are overrated. I think they're properly rated. They're always near the top of their division and conference and are the model of consistency over the last decade in the NFL. No one ever predicts they will go 16-0 every year and most people will tell you their defense, especially the secondary, needs work and the offense needs to be on for them to compete week in and week out.

        To me they are who they are.

        • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

          i don't think the team is overrated as much as the individual pieces. Belichick has crafted an offensive machine that is undoubtedly consistent and effective — but the individual cogs are a lot more replaceable than Pats fans want to admit, which is why half of their "stars" fail to flourish when they try to go somewhere else.

        • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

          Yeah, I'd be more inclined to call Brady and Welker overrated than the team. Bellicheck sure as hell ain't overrated. Doesn't matter who the coordinators are, or who the receivers are, he'll get em deep in the playoffs EVERY.D*MN.YEAR smh, but I hate em though. Don't hate any teams as much as the Lakers, Patriots, and Florida Gators

  • Amos Banks
  • Larry

    The whole hatred of Notre Dame just because they fired Ty Willingham…eh…I mean….I guess. Are people suppose to hate Kansas, too, since they fired Turner Gill and replaced him with (are you ready for this) Charlie Weiss?

    Sure, I feel bad he didn't get necessarily a fair shake, but after 7-8 years and two head coaches I guess I just don't see a reason to be upset at them unless you just never really liked them in the first place.

    I don't mind seeing Notre Dame play well. They normally play a pretty brutal schedule relatively speaking to most of the FBS schools (most, not all so pipe down SEC fans, lol) and I think Brian Kelly really has those boys playing well. I think I may go with USC with the upset bid , though, on Saturday night.

  • Dr. J

    I only hate sports teams and players that prove themselves worthy…

    Therefore, in terms of basketball, as the resident Lakers fan, I only hate the Celtics. I can't see anyone else on the level of the Lakers worth hating. I do have some simple frustrations, but they aren't hate:
    1) I am frustrated to no end by Lebron fans. They remind me of those lil Dez commercials. This dude has 1 ring. He's nowhere near a conversation about him and Kobe. He ain't even on Tony Parker level yet. He ain't even on Chauncey Billups level yet. Until that guy wins three chips, please get off his nuts.
    2) Knicks fans are so delusional because you'll tell them how to build a championship team and they'll keep telling you how you're wrong, but the Lakers have 16 chips and the Knicks have 2, that came from the Lakers. Dominant big man play and a scorer on the perimeter.

    I absolutely abhor the NY Giants. I'm a Niners fan, i'm entitled, will not discuss any further. They can go to Starbucks in Afghanistan for all I care.

    I hate Barcelona with a passion. They have more latin fans than anybody in the world. Way to cheer for your oppressors idiots!

    I hate the Yankees. I'm an Orioles fan, i'm entitled, the Yankees fans know why I hate them. Jeff Maier can suck a Big Bite.

    • Larry

      "Therefore, in terms of basketball, as the resident Lakers fan, I only hate the Celtics. I can't see anyone else on the level of the Lakers worth hating…"

      This guy gets it. When I saw other borderline Laker fans actually rooting for the Celtics to beat Miami I thought (and stll do) think they were crazy. Cheering for Boston to win??? SMH. Clearly not true Laker fans.

      Also, it's funny how so many people hate my Lakers and I don't give two effs about their favorite team (assuming they're not Celtic fans). Hell, do tell to the masses everytime the Knicks lose? No, because who cares? The only game I hope the Knicks lose between now and the new year is on December 25th in Los Angeles, lol.

      • Streetz

        Its in style to hateon the knicks. we are so "irrelevant" but every1 has an opinion on our moves
        My recent post Random Thoughts (A.K.A. the “I aint post in a minute”, post)

        • Larry

          Lol!! Ain't no body hating on your Knicks. I just piggybacked off the example Jay used. I just hope they lose twice a year.

          Honestly, like I tweeted the other day, I'm glad to see the Knicks doing well. Got a brotha as a head coach who did a great job in Atlanta who earned to get that interim tag removed and basketball is always better when the larger market teams are competitive.

    • Uncle Hugh, BP

      Dr. J: "1) I am frustrated to no end by Lebron fans. They remind me of those lil Dez commercials. This dude has 1 ring. He's nowhere near a conversation about him and Kobe. He ain't even on Tony Parker level yet. He ain't even on Chauncey Billups level yet. Until that guy wins three chips, please get off his nuts. "

      This. I know people hope to see Lebron as the best ever, but he hasn't done anything yet. I p!ss off Lebron fans when I remind them that his playoff record is no different than Clyde Drexler's. Three Finals appearances with one championship.

      The only active player that one can compare to Kobe is Tim Duncan. Lebron might be one day, but let's ask that question in 2016.

      • Larry

        Ok, I always hear this argument and I see both sides of the fence, but ultimately two very different things are being debated in general.

        Most (reasonable) people that are LeBron fans pretty much realize that so far Kobe has had the better overall career. No one playing in the NBA right now has a more accomplished career than Kobe Bryant. There's no argument there. Everyone (reasonable) knows this. All LBJ fans are saying is they believe that LeBron is a better player right now than Kobe. They think LeBron is the best in the game. It's a fair assessment, in my opinion…and I'm a huge Kobe fan. Honestly, we're splitting hairs, though.

        So these comparisons to Drexler or whomever that is already retired really make no sense since LeBron is still playing. People can prop up their player and say how great he is while he is still playing. Careeres aren't being compared, though…it's the here and now this moment.

  • Dr. J

    Oh and I hate the Big 10 but Joe already knows that.

  • madscientist7

    i hate the cowboys and lakers with the passion of a thousand burning suns. i also hate the yankees and duke basketball. to a lesser extent i dislike the patriots. they stay trying to run the score up on people.

    • http://www.WisdomIsMisery.com WisdomIsMisery

      Yeah, I gave you that thumbs down with no shame, peiboi.

      #Cowboys!

  • Kyle

    I'll toss a new one into your third column..

    Ed Hochuli

    1. We get it, you're strong

    2. I watch football every week. I understand what "offsides" means. Feel free not to get on the mic and give me a five minute dissertation of every single call. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAiBSOHd1Mc&fe

    3. This video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MghazmKKrtI

    More Ridiculousness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHC8U6GCXgU http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpabxEiZvlI&fe

  • Streetz

    Used to be a magic johnson fan. then i rooted for the knicks. found out how obnoxious laker fans were so thats where my hate arises.

    Hate everything Boston sports!

    MIA and CHI basketball can kick rocks too!
    My recent post Random Thoughts (A.K.A. the “I aint post in a minute”, post)

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