Home Featured Taken for Granted: 4 Things Boyfriends Do That Need to Stop

Taken for Granted: 4 Things Boyfriends Do That Need to Stop

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As human beings we take many things for granted: another day, friends, family, shelter, and the list goes on. It’s easy to take things for granted, complacency haunts the most grateful of all of us. Yet it should be required that we remind ourselves of the things that keep us going and that allow us to feel satisfaction. Today, we won’t go down the daunting list of all these things; instead, let’s just focus on one important one – the girlfriend. It’s easy to take the woman in your life for granted. So here’s a list of things that guys can use in order to combat the complacency that results from having a down chick:

1. Forget How Fine She Is

Is that yo chick?

Guys forget how bad their girl is until they go out in public together. Men can’t appreciate the beauty of their women until some asshole breaks his neck to get a glimpse of her booty or fondles his girl with those ocular tentacles. It’s hard to appreciate what you have when you’re laying in bed with a 9 or 10 and she’s two questions away from becoming an annoyance. If fellas only had access to their girl’s social networks and saw “the thirst” in her FB inbox, Twitter DM or Instagram, they would know how beautiful their girl was. It’s amazing the things we don’t admire, until someone else admires them for us.

2. Treat Her Like a Sl*t

One time I was having a discussion with one of my boys about facials and he said, “I can’t do that to my girl. I just can’t bus on my old lady’s face like that. But with a side piece, anything goes.” I was taken back. I felt like if there was anybody you should be shooting hot DNA all over, it would be the love of your life – your companion and midnight freak. There are so many women out here wanting their boyfriends to “go all out” sometimes (not all the time) and men are out here giving the side-pieces the sh!t best-sellers are made of. I don’t know what to say about you if you’re not living la vida loca in the bedroom with your girl.

3. Forget They Were Friends First

A true way a man can rob himself of everything beautiful that a relationship is and could be when he forgets that his girl was his friend before they were lovers. It’s true that sometimes it’s like being committed to an arch enemy that you’re constantly trying to outsmart and outwit about frivolous sh!t. Men would be amazed at the things their women could handle if they were just more truthful. It’s not the fact that women can’t handle the truth; it’s that men can’t bear confronting the ugliness of such truths. Don’t give your girl the benefit of the doubt, give her the benefit of the truth.

4. Don’t Tell Her They Love Her Til She’s Leaving

The most common of them all is forgetting to tell your girl how much you appreciate her, before she tries to leave. Most of us have been guilty of this. When things are going well your emotional communication is that of a caveman. But soon as sh!t gets real, that’s when cats start stringing words and soliloquies together like a struggling poet. Don’t wait til the last minute to keep it one hundred with your soulmate.

What are some other things men/women need to stop doing that they may not be aware of? Has your man/woman stopped being as adventurous in the bedroom like he/she did before you guys got serious? How easy is it to not value your partner as a friend? What things could you start doing today to ensure your partner is appreciated?

TheSUNK.com or the Sh!t U Need 2 Know is a NSFW blog based on the explicit discussion of sex, relationships, and social commentary. “It’s Where Your Bedroom Voice is Welcomed…” TheSUNK’s author is a native of Chicago and a current Howard University student.

Comment(149)

    1. What’s wrong with a little FACE LOVE? I mean that’s the biggest EGO booster for us men. My girl must agree with the terms that you will be my personal pr0n star when we are behind closed doors or anywhere else in private. Definitely will reciprocate the love as well.. lol

      1. " Definitely will reciprocate the love as well.. lol"

        How exactly? How about I press pause, grab some Hellman's Real Mayo and exfoliate your situation?

        L M B O

        I think I went too far but #funnytome

      2. FACE LOVE??!! oh is that what they calling it now??!! Okay. Cool just as long as I can LOVE YOU BACK!!!!.*rubsstickyickylips/cheeksagainstyourface* You Good Babe??? *wink*

        1. I know a few…they all got the "fade to black" move pulled on 'em once I found out. #AintNobodyGotTimeForThat

    2. #2 is a mental thing. I think if men looked at their wives/ladies/"wifey's" as any other hoe or slut or just a chick they would hit and quit then they probably wouldn't respect her enough to make her "wifey," his wife or long-term lady in the first place. So as crazy as it sounds on the surface, it makes perfect sense if you understand how mens minds work and the way their perception works.

      1. I think you need a good balance of #3. Sometimes the problem is that people become just friends and roommates, and get "comfortable" with each other and they lose the romance and passion. I think this can happen in marriages a lot. They lose what they had when they first met and no longer flirt with each other and some couples stop being sexual with each other altogether and from the outside it looks as if they are just roommates and friends. So that can be dangerous. Friendship is usually pretty easy to maintain. Usually even couples that break up can remain friends fairly easily. Even if they had beef with each other at one time once they get over it they are friends. The hard part is keeping the romance, and the playful & sexy in your relationship if you've been together for umpteen years.

  1. So the lightskint/darkskint civil war is over right? awesome.

    What are some other things men/women need to stop doing that they may not be aware of?

    5. Realize you already won- It kills me when dudes with girls at home be mad hyped to hit the club/bar/lounge…yeah you want to cut loose every now and again but for the most part everybody up in there are hoping to eventually have what you have.

    6. What happens with us, stays with us – One thing that irritated me about one of my exes, she posted EVERYTHING we did. It's like damn I came to surprise you at work, do you have to tweet it, tag me in a facebook post and instagram the lunch i brought. No wonder your homegirl keeps sending me winking emojis

    Has your man/woman stopped being as adventurous in the bedroom like he/she did before you guys got serious?
    Hell nah, I won't stand for it. That's like false advertising

    How easy is it to not value your partner as a friend?
    We sometimes forget it as expectations change. When you start feeling you have to do things that you used to just want to do, like going out, listening to their stories, and most importantly being able to talk about your relationship

    What things could you start doing today to ensure your partner is appreciated?
    Sent her a good morning text, chicks love good morning texts lol
    My recent post Today’s Word is… THINSGIVING

        1. I thank you! Funny story: I hit a gent with the "So is this your daily good morning sweetie to everyone in rotation, huh?" He stopped calling me, lmao!!!

  2. I feel the same way about facials as I do about swallowing, as long as you lead me to the promise land I’m not really concerned what you do with the evidence. This ain’t CSI. Other than that, I agree with this list.

    What are some other things men/women need to stop doing that they may not be aware of? Has your man/woman stopped being as adventurous in the bedroom like he/she did before you guys got serious? How easy is it to not value your partner as a friend? What things could you start doing today to ensure your partner is appreciated?

    I do believe both men and women are guilty of investing far more energy in pursuing than keeping. I, like any man (person?), am not above getting comfortable in a relationship. Some times I have to mentally remind myself of what I did during the “courting” phase and remember to continue doing so during the committed phase. This gets harder with time but it’s not impossible. As number 1 suggests, there will always be wolves out there trying to break into our pasture. If I can’t provide a strong reason for her to stay, I can’t get upset if/when she leaves.

    1. this is true. this is something that is not really talked about. its a two way street in that both women and men can be taken for granted. i've been on the receiving end and its not a good feeling at all.

    2. As a perpetual courting dweller I say men and women forget to have individual lives during the commitment stage…no I do not wanna wipe your nose when you have a cold or pick your wedgie…yes I do want to continue to have girl’s night. Individualism keeps a relationship fresh and reminds you why you fell in love in the first place and why ppl like me are not eagerly looking to give up the “courting stage” until I’m assured that individualism will remain!

  3. First, I love TheSUNK!

    Why do men claim they want a lady in the street/ freak in the sheets, then turn around and say they won't do certain things with their girl/wife, but will get a side-piece/mistress to do said freaky things with?

    Man logic?

      1. And bringing home the freaks diseases???

        Can't run the risk of getting caught with condoms, you see what happened to Chad….

        1. Straight like that? Throw the box out the window? As many recycling bins as there are on city streets nowadays? Not even ask the cashier to throw the box away?

          So now you're a cheater AND a polluter?!

          Damn. Just selfish.

    1. They are also the downfall of many men.

      See Clinton, Bill
      See Woods, Tiger
      See McNair, Steve
      See Petraeus, David
      See Schwarzenegger, Arnold
      See Kobe

      I'll stop there.

      Man logic.

      1. Clinton, Bill- still married, wife is Secretary of State. Overwhelmingly respected by both Dems and GOP and helped Obama to a 2nd term with his endorsement

        Woods, Tiger- Lost money, but not exactly starving. Golf ratings are at it's highest when he is in the field, still.

        Schwarzenegger, Arnold- Just finished up a book tour I believe. Still making blockbuster movies

        Kobe- still married, making $30 million this year and add 2 more championship rings since Colorado.

        I mean…I know what you're sayiing, but I wouldn't categorically call those examples "downfalls", lol. Especially Clinton…he's definitely winning now a days!

        1. Hey, I just questioned the examples you used and wondered how are they still downfallen (is that a word? Oh well), lol. Clearly I left out McNair for obvious reasons and I don't like to speculate with deceased people…and Petraus just happened, but he resigned from a good gig so that's a fair person to add to the list, lol.

          Ya like me? That's what's up! I gets no love 'round these parts so I'll take what I can get ,lol.

        2. Yes, being financially stable is nice. Being financially stable is what most want. Why so much emphasis on being rich though? Money isn’t everything!!!

          What things could you start doing today to ensure your partner is appreciated?
          Not be predictable and let monotony creep up into the relationship.

    2. "Smuts/side-pieces make the world go round so shout-out to them!"

      more like: "They make your ego go round"

      Guys: doesn't It get old manipulating multiple women for physical pleasure & ego boosts?

  4. So what does it mean if she doesn't participate with social networking for him to see “the thirst” in her FB inbox, Twitter DM or Instagram. The girl can still be beautiful. I call too much validation from strangers and/or people who don't really care, just looking for eye candy and maybe something to get their rocks off with. I'm just saying…

  5. I just had to send this post to my old dude….Everything on this list it what made me realize it was finally time to walk away…ESPECIALLY #3. You never lied to me before but now that we are the most serious we've ever been you start lying to me and about BS at that?! In my Atlanta voice – where dey do dat at?

  6. "What things could you start doing today to ensure your partner is appreciated?"

    1. HELP! Grab a bag…keep me company as I cook (or grab a spoon and start stiring something, lol)…basically, don't just watch me buzz around. At least ASK if there's something you could do.

    2. Keep that endearing look. You know…the "I swear, girl…you have no idea how much you do it for ME" look.

    3. (This is for the busy fellas…) Call her. Trust, she understands that you don't have an hour worth of chatter about randomness to give. But a quick, "Hey…just wanted to hear your voice, you good?", will keep you WINNING till you DO have an hour to give. This texting generation is not the business, lol…

    4. Touch her face. Maybe its just me but…its a small gesture that says and does A LOT!

    1. I basically agree with all of this except the cooking thing. I don't like people in my (even if it is technically not my) kitchen when I am cooking. That is my time to zone out, focus and enjoy that I am making something yummy for my loved one(s). Maybe that's just me though…

        1. LMAO! this right here! I cooked for my dude on Sunday and he was in the kitchen taking the cheese for my cheese sauce I had to pop him with the spoon.

      1. No, I don't like anyone dipping in my pots while I'm cooking- you're not alone on that one. Besides my moms raised me old school so I like to bring the plate to you- chill & sit back & wait for me to come to you.

      2. Cooking, although I can do it (lets keep that between us though…I like people to THINK I can't so they can keep assigning me drinks, paper goods, or cutlery for potlucks, LMBO), is NOT a passion of mine. Tell me what you want to eat specifically and chill with me while I do it. That works best for me.

        1. Yea I can see if you don't love doing it. I love cooking – it makes me happy to know I created something so damned delicious. LOL and I like to think I have a lot of cooking "secrets" so STAY out MY KITCHEN! I don't even want you to tell me what to cook. I agree w/ sincere – go sit somewhere and let me wow you w/ the plate of goodness when it's done.

    2. Lolll i know the look you're talking about! It's EVERYTHING!!!

      "This texting generation is not the business, lol… "`<— THIS!!!!

      1. *text I sent to a suitor just this morning*

        "…more texting than talking will NOT get you to the promise land, LMBO! Ijs…"

        LMBO

        1. Even if you're really feeling the girl? Like we're really gonna text for 2 hrs straight about something we coulda LOLd in real time about in a good 30-40 mins????

          Maybe its just me, but when I'm getting to know a person, I want to hear and feel what's being said…know your inflections, pauses, phrasing, make sure there are no random voices in the background…all of that!!!! LOL!

        2. "make sure there are no random voices in the background"
          LMAOOO, but u're so right!!!

          Tristan if you like her, you will talk… We do all kind of things when we like lol!!!

        3. referring to her comment : "more texting than talking will NOT get you to the promise land, LMBO! Ijs"

        4. Nope, not at all…LOL!

          …cause that same suitor JUST did what about 15 mins ago? CALLED!

          #POW

          Men will only do to you what you allow… 😉

        5. woot woot!!!! I hope it works out for ya'll! I'm literally texting this to myself right now so I don't forget to use it on the next one. I will let you know how it goes 😉

        6. We ain't even that deep, lol.

          He's expressed interest…so he's under a preliminary review…you know, the one that determines whether or not you even get to the interview phase, lol. But, he wasn't gonna make it with all that texting, LOL…

      2. Damn, am I the only woman who could care less about if a dude and I text essays for hours on end??? I HATE THE PHONE, afterwhile I start zoning out. #welp

        1. How do you feel like you really get to know someone that way? Just seems so impersonal…

          *shrugs*

  7. "I felt like if there was anybody you should be shooting hot DNA all over, it would be the love of your life"

    #BuryMeInTheLouieStore lmaooo.

  8. I had a girlfriend that wanted me to give her facials, but never really articulated that desire. I did it once accidentally, causing her to jump in surprise. I mistook her shock for revulsion, and from that point on, I made sure I…"filled the cup", before retreating to the bathroom for the post-game wrap-up.

  9. I have a general rule: I don't give thumbs down to any comment, no matter how much I disagree, unless the person personally attacks another commenter. But today I'm making exceptions for the ladies that's not down with the facials! Take that facial like a woman!

  10. Facials?… hmmmm, y'know there is a preventative measure for this ladies… open-wide and swallow. "heeeyyy where'd it go?" LMAO!!!

    The Hallway, you have the best-est posts ever!!! Loved this!

    As for your first question, your list was on point! I guess great minds think alike 😉 Adventure in the bedroom? He's Tarzan, just call me Jane. It's very easy to forget about the friendship you and your partner once shared BUT before things get tough, I whip out my freestyling abilities and "rock the mic" 😉

    1. sensesocommon: "Facials?… hmmmm, y'know there is a preventative measure for this ladies… open-wide and swallow. "heeeyyy where'd it go?" LMAO!!!"

      This is a perfectly acceptable substitute.

      1. FOH!!!

        If a man starts harassing me about swallowing, the minute he asks me to fix him a drink….put hella salt in the cup (not glass), stir, serve, sit back and watch how fast he spits that sh!t out.

        …..then ask him why didn't he swallow.

        1. It's funny how women see disgust in "swallowing" (your man's of course) but I don't hear men too often complaining about swallowing what cums out of us, LOL (just saying)

          I also don't see any women trying to "plug it" when their man is down there swimming away.

      2. LOL! *curtsies* well thank you, I thought that it would be.

        You see Uncle Hugh, you have to "Martha Stewart it up" in the bedroom, improvise… if you don't like something, there are always other ways to make it work.

    1. Snacks for your friends??? What am I ya mama? Do I need to call their girls and make sure they have permission to be over too?

        1. ooooooooohhhh…..dayum! lol!

          I gotta agree if you love your man/ woman then you gotta accept those that luv 'em2!
          Besides those types of gestures get major points!

  11. ok, so I know a lot of people are grossed out by the whole facial, phenom – but when you're in a loving relationship anything goes. Just have him drink more water & eat more fruit & drink some pineapple juice ahead of time & things will taste pretty decent. When he finds out why you're encouraging him towards this "healthier lifestyle" I'm sure he won't mind.

  12. Errythang, and I do mean errythang on this here list, yeah. Fellas, if you plan on having a successful LTR/marriage, take heed to these issues. True, more goes into a marriage, but as Streetz said upthread, it is the little things. Some extra effort in the before, will save your stress level later.

  13. Had to change my normal screen name for this one, don’t want people in real life knowing I’m talking about facials… as for me, I’d probably do it if necessary, I mean it’s pretty much whatever, close your eyes, wait til he’s done and wipe it off. Swallowing is something else cause I’d throw up for sure. Luckily man hates facials, says he can’t even understand them in the flicks (why anyone would want to see that) and completely understands my negative stance on swallowing (and, like someone said upthread, there are ways to improvise so he doesn’t even realize there was no actual swallowing going on).

  14. I rather be sprayed on my chest or swallow than take a facial. It's too unpredictable and I hate being shot in the eye.

    I like a nice clean finish with minimal cleanup. A little brushing, flossing, mouthwash action for me.

  15. I also think that men and women are guilty of thinking that a great connection/ relationship/ chemistry is just around the corner. Sure, you might meet someone and hit it off initially but when things settle in and it wasn't what you were expecting, it gets real and you start to regret taking people for granted in the past.

    Just because they're grown and sexy doesn't mean they're mature and healthy/secure to be with. There are so many factors that go into that person you fell in love with that may or may not be surpassed by the next person. More often than not, people are let down.

    It's great to take risks and being young allows you the ability to do that and bounce back quickly. But when you get to a certain age and you start to feel your mortality, it's time to reassess your priorities and handle your business with the one you probably know deep in your heart you can't replace, or if you could, it would take too much time and energy to find them.

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