Note from SBM: We’re going to try something a little different today. Typically, you’re hearing from the guys about issues that affect the ladies. We decided to let a guest poster tell you like it is. It’s not our words, it’s straight from the mouth of a woman. Commune SBM Massive.
1. Movie Nights
If your weekends consist of NETFLIX rental every Friday night, I’m sorry to break it to you, but you’re not dating. Don’t get me wrong, having a movie night every now and then is cool, but not every weekend. I’m not sure about you, but I’m definitely worthy enough to be taken out in public (especially on a good hair and outfit day). He’s not that into you if all of your time together is spent watching Coming to America and Trois I,II and III. Call me an old school modern woman (oxymoron, I know), but last time I checked, he’ll invite you to places other than HIS place if he digs you. If his idea of doing something special for you includes ordering two movies instead of one, that’s a problem.
2. Sex (The easiest one to explain, but the most difficult to conceptualize.)
If you have sex with no conversation or clear understanding of commitment, you’re not dating. And no, meeting up for happy hour and having a conversation prior to your rendezvous doesn’t count. If sex is the only thing that you’re looking for, then that’s fine. However, if you’re looking for a committed relationship, sex definitely is not the way to get one. Also, please keep in mind that the act of sex doesn’t automatically give you a dating pass.
If all of your conversations are via text, you’re not dating. The guys I’ve dated and everyone who is semi-close to me knows how I feel about text convos while dating-I hate it. I’m an 80’s baby so I still remember when I would talk on the phone for hours on three-way and screen calls with Privacy Manager. Even into my college years texting wasn’t commonplace, especially since most of us had pre-paid Nokias with no texting capabilities –Oh, the memories. Today it’s substantially different because one would argue that texting is more commonplace than a good old-fashion verbal conversation. However, that argument should have no validity when the subject of dating is concerned because texting lacks the intimacy a verbal phone conversation has, regardless of how many kissy faces and text hearts you send. If there is a genuine interest in getting to know you, there will be an effort made that goes far beyond texting.
4. Going Dutch
You’re not dating if you always go Dutch (all the
cheapskates men reading this, hear me out first). This can be a confusing situation because it’s hard to gauge intentions and/or interest solely based on a specific DPP (dating payment procedure). Always paying is not necessarily indicative of his interest, and not paying EVERY time doesn’t automatically mean he is NOT interested in dating. But, one thing is very clear: If he’s NEVER picked up the tab, you’re not dating-Nope. No excuses.
5. The Classic “Homegirl Introduction” (Ahhh, last, but certainly not least)
Shoutout to the homie who finalized this blog by adding the missing element of everything that is the male perspective: The classic homegirl introduction. If you’re at a social event with
Tony him and he introduces you as his homegirl/homie/friend, you’re not dating. No, it wasn’t a slip up and it was definitely done on purpose. He’s just not that into you.
Did I miss anything? What are some other obvious reasons to indicate you’re not dating?
Muffie Bradshaw is a Cleveland native who shares her dating experiences through writing. As a 29-year-old single, she has had the opportunity to experience the many different elements of dating: Good, bad and ugly. It’s her humor, wit and subtle advice conveyed through her writing that keeps her readers yearning for more.
Email: [email protected]