Could You Wait Until Marriage for Sex with a Non-Virgin?

nick cannon and mariah carey waited for marriage

According to Nick Cannon, he waited until the marriage night to finally have sex with Mariah Carey. Now that’s not to say some things didn’t go down beforehand, but still… I’m not sure that many of us have that power in us to wait until marriage to get in those jeans. Nick Cannon recently opened up during an interview about the decision to wait until marriage to cross the goal line with Mariah.

I have to credit the great Necole Bitchie for this find, but check out the excerpt and Necole’s commentary below:

The latest couple to reveal that they definitely waited until after they tied the knot to get in the sheets is Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey.  During an interview with Howard Stern, when asked how he was able to wait to have sex, Nick Cannon responded:

It was Mariah Carey. If Mariah Carey gave a bad blowjob, I didn’t care. In my mind, I’m with it. Either way its one of the most beautiful women that ever walked the planet.

When asked if he was nervous to feel her up after the wedding, he responded:

I was excited. It was so different because we were jet setting and traveling and stuff [while we were dating]. So I would be back home, there would be other chicks, but this was the one woman that was like none of that is going down. I knew her values.

Read more: Necole Bitchie.com: [Video] Nick Cannon Reveals There Was No Sex Before Marriage With Mariah http://necolebitchie.com/2012/12/12/video-nick-cannon-reveals-there-was-no-sex-before-marriage-with-mariah/#ixzz2Ex5cBQGr

In my opinion, it would be hard for me to date someone and be in the position of having to wait for marriage when I know for a fact that she isn’t a virgin. I know that there might be extenuating circumstances that would lead someone to feel this way, but personally, it just wouldn’t fly. I’m always big on not wanting to have to have special circumstances for my situation based on the actions of someone in the past. If i’m dating a girl who’s been screwed over by men in her past, why should I have to be the one who has to suffer? No matter how I slice that pie, I can’t find a way for it to be in my favor.

What about you? Do you think you would have the power to wait? Would you be able to be in a position where you know your partner has been with others before you but yet you’re going to have to wait? What would it take for someone to be that special for you?

From Our Partners

  • http://glippost.wordpress.com Darrk Gable

    I did wait. Now was I completely abstaining with others is the question. That notwithstanding, it was a mutual decision, and I if she valued herself to wait, I chose to respect it. The fact my wife took a stand like that actually made me appreciate her more. Ultimately, it rest on each individual to agree with the decision.

  • blackphilo

    I'm with you on this. I simply don't grasp the idea of "waiting" for something that has already been consensually had. Why exactly would I be waiting? There is no such thing as a reconditioned virgin or divorcee. Why didn't the other guys also have to wait, in which case I wouldn't be left waiting for something they already got with?

    Of course, if a guy is trying to signal that he's willing to submit to some woman's program–however arbitrary or irrelevant to his own interests that program might be–then waiting might make sense. I'm not that guy and not aspiring to be. For me, it's not a lack of "power" or self-restraint: it's a matter of principle. I'm firmly committed to trying before I buy–and I'm talking about any semi-serious relationship.

    But to each their own, as long as personal preferences are not somehow being turned into virtues.

    • Smilez_920

      honestly the whole " If he got to hit before marriage, why can't I" is only said to women by men who are'nt really that serious or interested in them. Or by men who only wanted to have a $exual relationship with them in the first place.

      If you really wanted to be a serious part of her life, that excuse you used would'nt be a part of the converstaion.

      • blackphilo

        Honestly, I respect a woman exercising her preference to “wait.” You seem to have a problem respecting a man exercising his preference not to wait. Thus you claim that such men must not be “serious” or “interested,” only want sox, and feel “entitled.”

        To be clear…. My perspective doesn’t need an “excuse”–any more than the perspective of a woman who prefers to wait. I prefer not to wait, since I don’t grasp the idea or my stake in it. But that’s okay. A woman doesn’t have to justify her waiting preference to me or anyone else.

        In fact, I wouldn’t pressure a waiting woman for sox: the situation isn’t dire for me. I wouldn’t use any “line” to try to change her mind. Once she has conveyed her preference, I’m out on that level. We have incompatible preferences and mindsets. She should indeed seek a man willing to join her program. Clearly, those men are out there.

        • oh ok…

          I just want to say I agree w/ both you & Smilez…
          Everyones entitled to their opinion **shrugs**

        • Bree

          I 2nd that

      • BlueSteele

        I wish I could thumbs this up two more times!

      • Adonis

        This is about price discrimination. Plain & simple.

        Now answer the question.

        Why do I have to wait or pay for something another man paid a steep discount on?

        • blackphilo

          One doesn't "have to wait or pay," and people are free to practice "discrimination" of various kinds in their personal lives. I think you'd agree that when a deal isn't to one's liking but attractive enough options are out there, the most productive practice is to shop elsewhere.

    • https://www.facebook.com/laura.kibben.1 Laura Kibben

      I stopped having sex over two years ago simply because every damn guy LIES!!! 4 in a row told me they thought I was so great and so hot and I satisfied their every need and moving in together and buying rings with two of the four and so on only to hear some BS excuse around the third month: "I wanna get back with my ex wife" "My ex GF is keeping all my stuff and I refuse to start over again", "I'm just not meant to be in a relationship" (only to have two semi long termed relationships after me) and NO, I am NOT bad in bed.
      I don't give a crap if they can get it somewhere else for free, they just aren't going to be able to use me and toss me aside anymore.
      P.s. I am white female and didn't realize this site's name. I only got here because I was wanting to find out why Nicks tie wasn't tied on AGT last night, LOL

      • Drea

        i needed to see this from you lol. i am a black female guilty of making blanket statements about black men, but people keep telling me ALL men do the same things (even though it seems black men are the most shameless about it — sorry!) no matter their culture: lie, cheat, BS excuses, etc … a man is a man. i certainly have heard ALL of those statements you mentioned in one way or another. glad you found your way here even if it was just to find out about his tie haha!

  • http://twitter.com/Exotic_Import @Exotic_Import

    If I care about them, I'll respect their decision. I don't see what the fact that they've had sex before has to to do with it..its a relationship between the two of us. The people in the past shouldn't even be a major factor. Why would you even worry about the person they were sleeping with/slept with before? That's like a child complaining about someone else getting a cookie…but this is another human being with unique emotions and experiences. Maybe they found religion…maybe they were raped. It seems as though some people only give that consideration to virgins. If they're not a virgin, they feel entitled to to sex. So if someone had sex once and decided that they didn't like it, they can't decide to wait for marriage? I thought this was the 21st century…why shouldn't someone who isn't a virgin be treated the same way as a virgin?

    • Smilez_920

      +1 it’s an entitlement issue. If waiting until marriage is not your thing… cool we all have a right to use our sexual organs as we please. But to try and tell me because I did something with one person heck maybe two or three, That I should do it to you smh… . Honestly any man who throws that line out at you wasn’t really "into you" in the first place, he just wanted SEX.

      • BlueSteele

        And last time I checked…it was MY body. When did it become an issue up for negotiation?

        • bree

          Preach Ladies.

  • Kevin

    I'm still a virgin at 24(male), I took a vow of abstinence at the age of 19, if I was to end up with a woman who chose to be celibate until marriage, It'd make my abstinence journey less difficult. So yeah, I'd wait.

    • oh ok…

      You'll find her! Stay Strong…

  • Streetz

    Im with you. its quiet for all that waiting lmao

  • Cold chillin'

    I think a piggyback discussion needs to he had regarding how important is sexual chemistry, or how important good sex is in a successful marriage.

    I hate to use the ‘car test drive’ analogy–but if sex (or good sex) is important to you, then would you be willing to enter into a lifetime agreement (which marriage is supposed to be) without knowing if your wife/husband can satisfy you sexually?

    He could have a small penis, or her head game could be trash, etc. Now if sex isn’t that important in a successful marriage, then it’s a non-issue.

  • krystllyght

    *shrugs* I'd wait if that special person asked me to regardless of how many ladies turned that knob. Buuuuuuuut I have a curious mind and my hubs says women are conniving. I'd put on my conniving hat, tip it to the side a lil bit and become "friends" with one of the exes and one day at brunch just so matter of factly be like "How's that frittata? So why ya'll didn't work out? What that peen game lookin like?"

    • Bree

      lmao….so krystl you would be like Lynn on that episode of girlfriends wit the guy she was married to in real life?????

  • krystllyght

    Sidebar: They just erased her whole armpit out of that pic didn't they?

  • JerseryVixen

    Waiting for marriage is a DANGEROUS thing. I know of many situations where it became a disaster, of course half the time you do not find out till years later…This lady threw a lavish wedding ( 7th day adventist), only to find that her man's peen was non-existent and on top of that didnt work right… she annuled the whole thing. I know of some other crazy situations. All I have to say you better truly mean "For better or for worse".. We all know that as a couple you ll have to LEARN each other , no one hits the spot on the first try, but when its an issue where his peen is a worm, or has some serious impotent issues, there's virtually nothing you can do but accept it. and as for WOMEN, my friend dated a chick that was a sexuallly abused as a child and her whole body would shut down during intercourse, it was painful, she was just messed up and couldnt really experienced intimacy. He spent thousands of dollars on therapy for her, was very patient, and eventually they ended up breaking up. I am just saying, yes the bible tell us to wait and maybe it's the best thing but be honest with yourself on whether you are ready for whatever comes with waiting.

    • Smilez_920

      Sounds like a Lifetime movie. I see where you’re coming from though, but those are very extreme cases. In situations that involve 2 sexually/mentally and emotionally healthy people, waiting until marriage (even if they are not virgins) can work

      • http://glippost.wordpress.com Darrk Gable

        It all comes back to a decision that both parties agree too.

      • oh ok…

        Exactly… sex is not everything. I believe it depends on the couple.

  • http://www.singleblackmale.org/author/wisdomismisery/ WisdomIsMisery

    I’d wait. I’ve “waited” before. I place “waited” in quotes, because some women – in my experience – say they “want to wait” but they’re the main aggressors trying to jump your bones, no pun, once you agree to waiting. It’s like some women just want to know that you would wait without actually making you. I personally have never made a vow of abstinence. Every time I go a long time without sex it’s completely by accident – not that it stresses me as much as it used to in my youth if/when it occurs.

    Lastly, I’m not sure I even believe this story. Mariah is a proven diva and liar and it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if she told Nick to say these things to boost her supericially arbitrary ego. Nick wasn’t getting it….from MARIAH CAREY….before the wedding night? ….they need more people

    • GirlSixx

      "Nick wasn't getting it….from MARIAH CAREY….before the wedding night? ….they need more people"

      Honestly I can believe this only from the simple observation that Nick Acts like a GROUPIE!!!, so whatever MIMI says…Goes.

      • Starita34

        aaaaaand the fact that they dated a month and a half before they married and he was still hitting multiple others…so yeeeeah, totally doable.

        • Starita34

          Heh.
          I said "doable"
          I see what I did there…

        • Bree

          Nick said it himself – "It was Mariah Carey. If Mariah Carey gave a bad blowjob, I didn’t care."
          "Either way its one of the most beautiful women that ever walked the planet."
          Another thing that makes this very believable is the fact that it wasn't like she's just some regular around the way girl that he knew since high-school. This is "Mariah Carey."
          In his eyes she's a female "demi-god" and he probably feels extremely honored and priviledged that she even spoke to him. He has said in other interviews that the woman he lost his virginity to was significantly older than him, like Mariah. From then on he's always strictly been bout dem cougars. I think prior to meeting Mariah she was truly his dream woman. He had a serious crush on her and worshipped the ground she walked on. He probably would've/would drank her bathwater after she peed and farted in it. Needless to say I think Nick was very very happy to wait because to him she was well worth it.
          He does a pretty funny stand-up routine where he talks about her. I recommend it. He's actually pretty funny in a bit of a cornball way.

        • mary

          That is the point if find a lady you really like, or man that you value and think they are worth it then you would wait and respect their wishes.

  • The CPT

    What? That sounds like reformed heaux game! Sort of like these wack azz born again virgins we have poppin up all over the place! Nobody wants to hear all that! LLS.

    • Smilez_920

      Lol I guess you either a virgin or a hoe huh? I guess it’s impossible for a woman who has been with 2 or 3 guys to choose to practice celibacy ? lol

      • Starita34

        "I guess you either a virgin or a hoe huh? "
        Duuuuuuh.

        Did you catch my sarcasm there? That was sarcasm…

  • GirlSixx

    Wait hol up??!! Didn’t they get married only after dating for like 6 months tho??

    • Starita34

      1 and a half.
      *cancels the parade*

      • krystllyght

        Lmao

      • Bree

        Exactly…..that is not much of a wait at all. Dang how fast do folks move nowadays????
        It's not like the man waited 5 years……sheesh.
        Typically, when a woman asks a man to wait for sex, one of two things inevitably happens. He waits or he bails. Personally I can't see either one being bad at all.

  • Adonis

    File this under holly weird. But let us play along & say this is true.

    Nick Cannon accepted the deal, for whatever reason. So if he cool, I am cool.

    I refuse as a man to legitimize h0es (women with children OOW and/or 3+ partners or better)

    At the end of the day, women need men far than the reverse, and men need to know & internalize that thought.

  • InsomniaPoet

    I have made a man "wait" but only until I was ready to go there with him. I have never even considered waiting until marriage. When I am ready to get married I need to know that we are clicking on all cylinders….I know myself and relations are a big part of my happiness in a relationship and I need to know before I make a lifelong commitment that I am not gonna be in the shower for extended periods of time every night before bed…. IJS

    • Bree

      Insomnia, in theory this sounds really good. However, the problem in many marriages and a huge part of why divorce rates are so sky high is this: It's not too often that people continue to do and keep up all the things they did to "get you" in the first place post marriage and the "honey-moon" phase.
      Also, if you truly expect to be in it to win it for life, as people, (particularly women) get older and over age 60 they lose the desire for sex completely. I never understood why old azz men always left their old azz wives of 20 plus years for women twice as young as them. As I started talking to more women in their late 50's and up, I understood why. Not saying it's right, but I understand.

  • sehalya

    if he waits for more than ONE MONTH (lol)… then he's the one !

  • AfrerMath

    What choices do I have? If I'm in a position where I'm planning on marrying this woman, I have the choices of breaking up with her, waiting until marriage, or ____. I don't even want to say the third because its just not an option and I just don't want to even act like I'd consider that as an option. So it really comes down to two things either i leave her or I stay with her. And if I'm in love with her enough to marry her, then I'd think that I wouldn't be so anxious to suddenly get in her panties that I couldn't wait a few more months.

    That isn't to say that I wouldn't be frustrated and the episodes of blue balls probably wouldn't hurt like hell, but still. Its not all about that and if she's made a commitment to wait until marriage until she does that, or wait until marriage until she does that again, then I've got to respect that.
    My recent post Learn About “the Other” Algebra

  • Jazz

    They got married after 6 weeks right?? That's not to long to wait.

  • Marcus perry

    I am waiting on my girl we’ve been dating for about a month now I have no issue with it. I will add as a man I live sex with people I chose to be with. No women had the power to just mind trap me like I’ve seen some of my friends. I have control unlike many of my male peer but I will acknowledge blue balls only happened to me one time an never again will I let it happen again. Lol me and my girl are happy and on the same page I run things more now but that’s mostly cause I’m the man in this. She is free to do almost whatever she please and if he thinks I won’t like it she doesn’t do it. She’s not my slave. She chooses to wait I choose to wait for her. I’m after one of those 50 year marriages that last for the right reasons not reasons that fade away quickly. I will share this since none of you know me and probably never know me anyways. She went to a party texted me later that night she expressed in a drunk state that she would give me a lap dance but she would have sex with me if I were there. Since she didn’t drink alot I played it off with her and changed the subject. That was a very entertaining night. I told her about it later. My point is that waiting for someone doesn’t make a guy weak or whipped. I’m not whipped on my girl. Our mutual respect led us to this. Although I have way more experience than she has it’s not weird for her to try and please me. I don’t Hold her to other standards. She my girl I have her back she has mine. She texting me right now in fact. Ladies don’t be too strict on your guy if your waiting we men are wired on rewards and attention. Playing too hard to get makes us think you aren’t interested and then we will leave you.

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  • https://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.aspen.1 Elizabeth Aspen

    Why does it have to be about having been screwed over by some guy in her past? I don't believe in sex before marriage simply because of what marriage is – a commitment to be together through thick and thin. I know a man isn't serious about marriage if his criteria for staying in a relationship is whether or not the sex is any good. Compatibility? Please. You already know by the first couple of dates if you have chemistry with each other, so you have the rest of your marriage to perfect the awesome moves. Requiring sex before marriage is the same as saying you aren't able to commit because guaranteed you'll be out the door the minute you feel you've been let down sexually instead of sticking it out and growing together.

  • funstation stories

    For almost 6years now I'm still in relationship with a pretty girl i loved so much. I did not show my own preferences for the very 1st year i met her and i have always been pleasing her. But up till now she takes her own preferences so seriously, and the thing is she's always not interested in sex.

    My life has been emotionally affected because of her preference to wait until after marriage. But along the line after much complain, she allowed me to touch her on the most sensitive parts of her body–which i believe she enjoys the orgasm, and the most painful thing is she won't just give sex, instead she leaves me alone to get hurt. Now i live my life like i've been hurt by someone whom i love so much.. Now she makes me feel like she needed just my romantic touch on her body, advice, motivation, and sweet talk for this period while we are dating, maybe she want to get on with someone else later. But seriously, i'm killing myself for her and i know it's true.. So what should i do? or should i wait until after marriage? or Should i breakup with her, or still hold on to her? or should i look for some beautiful damsel who can take her place and possibly marry the new damsel? Sex in the new relation would make me feel even better cos' over the years , my relationship story has been very bitter cos' of her. I can't deny the fact that I'm acting crazy this days cos' of her. I just can't bear the hurt anymore…

  • Funstation stories

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