A woman recently asked me, “Why does it seem like men always choose the next woman to be serious with, usually after he says he doesn’t want to commit to the girl he’s dating, but then ends up being in a committed relationship/marrying the next woman he dates?”
Even though I believe men are fairly simple, every man’s specific reasons for leaving a woman varies. For the record, regardless of what they say, I think men are always casually looking for a serious commitment. Maybe he’s just not that into you; maybe he was too into you; maybe he was once into you, but then he stopped being into you. I can’t speak on the exact reason a man leaves a woman, but I can speak on why it seems like men habitually settle down with the next woman they date after claiming they didn’t want a commitment. There are usually two primary reasons…
REASON #1 – SHE WASN’T REALLY THE “NEXT WOMAN”
In this instance, perception is not reality. Unless you know the details of your ex’s dating history after your relationship – and given the dominance of social media coupled with your willingness to stalk your ex, this is very possible – you can’t say without a doubt that your ex got with the “next woman” he dated. Maybe he dated several women before meeting the “next woman.” However, I guess that’s not very comforting to hear. For the sake of this post, let’s assume your ex made a seemingly random, serious commitment to the next woman he dated after you. How could this happen, after he told you several times, in so many words and actions, that a serious commitment wasn’t what he was looking for?
REASON #2 – YOU HELPED HIM BECOME A BETTER MAN…FOR ANOTHER WOMAN
In my opinion, males are born, but men are made. Every relationship, good or bad, is a learning experience for men. I’m sure this applies to women, too. However, when it comes to relationships, most males (or boys) learn how to become men through trial and error. As a man, it’s easy to learn how to operate independently, but a man has to be in a relationship (or several) to learn what’s expected of him as a man in a relationship. Stated differently, being a good man on paper doesn’t automatically make a man a good partner in a relationship. Even if related, good men still need to learn how to be good partners since a successful relationship extends beyond the satisfaction of one person.
Until your last relationship, every failed relationship is a learning opportunity. Whether we like it or not…read more.