Have you ever come across that relationship status on Facebook, “It’s complicated” and thought to yourself, “What does that really mean?” I know I have, I know most of us have. Most times, we think it’s a joke and we ignore it. A few times, we’ve actually known the situation that our friends were talking about and we knew that in fact, the situation was complicated. That’s Facebook, but what about in real life? That’s probably a more frequent term to hear, wouldn’t you agree? There’s a guy friend of yours who’s trying to explain how complicated his situation is soooo complicated rather than just admit, it ain’t really working out. (Can’t lie, I’ve been there before.) Or, there’s a girlfriend of yours who’s trying to explain how her situation with Eric is just soooo complicated. She explains over margaritas and in one conversation she says, “Oh my God, you don’t understand…” about 20 times.
I think we’ve all been there before. How do we find the ways to tell our friends that their relationship isn’t all that complicated? Does “It’s Complicated” really exist? Moreover, what does it really mean to be in a situation that is complicated? I came across this article and thought that I hadn’t read something more accurate with describing “complicated” relationships. In short, this article seeks to show us that if you think your relationship is complicated, it’s really not. If you describe your relationship as complicated, it’s indicative that maybe it’s not much of a relationship at all. All of us who have been in love or have been in healthy relationships have never had to say, “it’s complicated.” Either you are in a relationship, or you are not. It’s very simple.
Check out the excerpt and share your thoughts in the comments section:
If when asked about your relationship your first words are “It’s complicated”, you need to read this.
I often hear women asking whether or not their relationship is the real thing. Wondering if the guy they’re with is the right one for them. Wondering what they should do. And in most cases, as soon as they start describing their situation, it becomes pretty clear that there’s a lot more going on in their situation than love. If there’s one mantra to make your own, it’s one that states it clearly and simply: real love is never complicated. Ever.
If, right now, you’re in a situation where there’s a long, drawn out, dramatic story about your relationship, then it’s complicated. If you’re telling your friends about how he sometimes acts like he’s interested, sometimes not; he’s giving you mixed signals; he’s becoming emotionally distant; you’re feel as though you should say something about some question mark in your mind, but you’re on the fence as to whether you want to be direct or not; you’re often not sure what he’s really thinking; he’s got an old girlfriend who keeps coming in and out of the picture; he says one thing but his actions are indicating something else; he’s telling you to just give him some time to get his head together; he’s got some stranger than fiction story about how everything fits into his life (including you); he’s got an excuse or an explanation for everything that you question him about that just doesn’t seem quite right; well, you get the picture – it’s complicated.
The point is, if the situation is complicated, your description of it takes more than a couple sentences to explain, and you find yourself making excuses or justifying why the relationship is not exactly your ideal, then this is not love you’re talking about. I know, we’ve all been in or heard about the high drama relationships of so-called love where there’s all the angst, passion, high strung emotions and everything else that makes it fell like the real thing, but the reality is that those kind of relationships, while they may be exciting at first, quickly begin to feel like anything but love. I know. I’ve been there too. The bottom line is, anytime you’ve got that much going on in a relationship, it’s not love. Because love is just not that. Real love is simple.
Read the rest of the article here.