Your Relationship Is Just Not That Complicated

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Have you ever come across that relationship status on Facebook, “It’s complicated” and thought to yourself, “What does that really mean?” I know I have, I know most of us have. Most times, we think it’s a joke and we ignore it. A few times, we’ve actually known the situation that our friends were talking about and we knew that in fact, the situation was complicated. That’s Facebook, but what about in real life? That’s probably a more frequent term to hear, wouldn’t you agree? There’s a guy friend of yours who’s trying to explain how complicated his situation is soooo complicated rather than just admit, it ain’t really working out. (Can’t lie, I’ve been there before.) Or, there’s a girlfriend of yours who’s trying to explain how her situation with Eric is just soooo complicated. She explains over margaritas and in one conversation she says, “Oh my God, you don’t understand…” about 20 times.

I think we’ve all been there before. How do we find the ways to tell our friends that their relationship isn’t all that complicated? Does “It’s Complicated” really exist? Moreover, what does it really mean to be in a situation that is complicated? I came across this article and thought that I hadn’t read something more accurate with describing “complicated” relationships. In short, this article seeks to show us that if you think your relationship is complicated, it’s really not. If you describe your relationship as complicated, it’s indicative that maybe it’s not much of a relationship at all. All of us who have been in love or have been in healthy relationships have never had to say, “it’s complicated.” Either you are in a relationship, or you are not. It’s very simple.

Check out the excerpt and share your thoughts in the comments section:

If when asked about your relationship your first words are “It’s complicated”, you need to read this.

I often hear women asking whether or not their relationship is the real thing. Wondering if the guy they’re with is the right one for them. Wondering what they should do. And in most cases, as soon as they start describing their situation, it becomes pretty clear that there’s a lot more going on in their situation than love. If there’s one mantra to make your own, it’s one that states it clearly and simply: real love is never complicated. Ever.

If, right now, you’re in a situation where there’s a long, drawn out, dramatic story about your relationship, then it’s complicated. If you’re telling your friends about how he sometimes acts like he’s interested, sometimes not; he’s giving you mixed signals; he’s becoming emotionally distant; you’re feel as though you should say something about some question mark in your mind, but you’re on the fence as to whether you want to be direct or not; you’re often not sure what he’s really thinking; he’s got an old girlfriend who keeps coming in and out of the picture; he says one thing but his actions are indicating something else; he’s telling you to just give him some time to get his head together; he’s got some stranger than fiction story about how everything fits into his life (including you); he’s got an excuse or an explanation for everything that you question him about that just doesn’t seem quite right; well, you get the picture – it’s complicated.

The point is, if the situation is complicated, your description of it takes more than a couple sentences to explain, and you find yourself making excuses or justifying why the relationship is not exactly your ideal, then this is not love you’re talking about. I know, we’ve all been in or heard about the high drama relationships of so-called love where there’s all the angst, passion, high strung emotions and everything else that makes it fell like the real thing, but the reality is that those kind of relationships, while they may be exciting at first, quickly begin to feel like anything but love. I know. I’ve been there too. The bottom line is, anytime you’ve got that much going on in a relationship, it’s not love. Because love is just not that. Real love is simple.

Read the rest of the article here.

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  • SMilez_920

    Saying “it’s complicated” is just another way to give someone hope, it’s a cushion. In all honest your either with someone or single. There’s nothing complicated about someone who your not committed to , their just not with you, saying it complicated is just a nice thing people tell themselves in stead of saying “it’s over”, “I screwed up”, “It’s really not complicated, it’s just chex”. Its complicated makes it seem like you don’t know if your with the person or not, and most of us know dang well when someone is committed to us or if their doing their thing and as the other person we just don’t want to admit it to ourselves.

  • Peter Parker

    Couldn't agree more with this article. A relationship with the opposite sex should never be hard or difficult. I never could understand what the "It's Complicated" actually meant, but if you ever have to think twice about what's going on between you and another individual, it's time to keep it moving. There should never be a question on whether or not we are team.

  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan.

    in college i took its complicated to mean she just aint gon cheat with anybody (poor bfs back home). To be honest relationships are easy, find someone who makes you happy and manage your expectations.
    My recent post Today’s Word is… NETWORK

  • Southerngyrl_

    I hate that status on facebook and will sideeye anyone who has it up.

    I don't think I can jump on the "relationships are easy" bandwagon. Relationships will have their ups and downs, and often times it takes work. If it is difficult all the time, then yes, there is a problem there.

    I wouldn't necessarily say easy though. I am still thinking about complicated. I think for the people involved, it could very well be complicated. It just depends on the person. That doesn't mean you need to broadcast it to the damn world though (side eye),

    • Dr. J

      The article brought out this point. Relationships are not easy, but they are simple.

      • Southerngyrl_

        Agreed. I was actually referring to some responses above that said relationships were easy. I should have referenced them or replied directly. My bad.

  • Bree

    I think sometimes it's complicated because folks make it complicated. A whole lot more complicated than what it should be. Sometimes married people have that status of "it's complicated." That usually means, I'm married but we're having some issues. I'm not walking out on my marriage yet, but I got one foot out of it and one foot in it. Relationships actually can sometimes be complicated at certain points for a time. Every couple goes through some stuff. Doesn't mean there is no love there, just means there are some issues goin on. Sometimes people can move from "it's complicated" to really knowing what they want and don't want. Then they get clarity and can make good sound decisions regarding their relationships. Things can become uncomplicated just as fast as they became complicated. For instance, some men may really like and care about a certain woman, but for whatever reason, they don't want or are not ready for a serious relationship.

  • Bree

    A man may really love and care about his wife, but is no longer "in love" with her, and vice versa. I think what is actually complicated for people are their feelings. Especially when 2 people genuinely do love and care about each other and don't want to be apart or with anyone else, yet they aren't able to make a serious relationship or marriage work. It's complicated to me is somewhat synonymous with "irreconcilable differences." You can't always coexist happily in a relationship, and/or marriage with a person that you really love and care a lot about and get along with perfectly outside of a romantic relationship.
    I do agree that really good, healthy relationships Should Not Ever be complicated at all. Unfortunately though, complicated and complex people will have complicated relationships.

  • morganthewriter

    I never really understood the logic behind "It's complicated."

    To me, it suggests a lack of communication, or someone's just settling. Both of those are undesirable, in my opinion.

    If it becomes complicated for me, I'd just leave. No reason to be confused about someone when you could be sure about someone else.
    My recent post Morgan’s Rant #3: The 9 Reasons I Don’t Go to Clubs and Parties

    • Poetic Justice

      "No reason to be confused about someone when you could be sure about someone else."

      That's exactly the attitude that makes true love simple. Back to the basics, when it's right it's right. When it's love, you just know…. simple.

  • amaris79

    I've always taken an "It's Complicated" FB status to be the "denial" stage of grief. Just me, though.

    And I am in agreement with @Southerngyrl_ 42, relationships are not "easy". At best, they are "simple". Big difference.

  • kimauralee

    It's not complicated, It's called denial…that's why I always say "Your Boyfriend, Your Problem."

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  • MaggK

    I'm sad for people who have this FB relationship status… I feel even more sad when you know two people seem to be together; the woman updated her status as "in a relationship" but the man put "it's complicated"… Olala!!! Who's in denial now? Olala…

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  • elan deen

    relation always depends on thinking between each two person. http://custom-essays-writing.net/ This site relevant education and providing essay online at reliable cost.

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    It depends on people that they complicate their life, s.If they live a simple life and always speak the truth then there is too simple and if they complicate their life to participate lot of things so it could be difficult.

  • Mehru

    It's funny but in most of the relation when a girl came into man's life it could be complicated because sometime women are too harsh to do the that they want and they don't have to Bow.
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    Life with women is same complicated as its complicated when you are not attached to women's because women; so are the world worst things that do not understand by a man. So you should stay from these things.

  • Danyel

    Complicated is always complicated when anyone did not understand someone or someone's feeling. Mostly we see these types of status in women's status but you ever give a comment to her for a beauty tip or for a Best Muscle Soak for Women or a fashion oriented product what will you get in reply. Women always want attention form the peoples in their surrounding to makes the life happy and full of love.

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    The relation become complicated when you want relation but really it is not happening same that you want. Sometimes we often use this for kidding like the FB relationship status it may be complicated when you are going to have some relation but you are confused in a few choices that is a bit difficult situation to cheese the right one.