Married Sex Is Great…For Men

sex after marriageA faithful, well-respected SBM reader forwarded me a story sharing the findings of iVillage’s 2013 Married Sex Survey. Now in the interest of full-disclosure, I’ll admit I had no idea what an iVillage was or that they, apparently, do an annual Married Sex Survey each year until I received this link. Will wonders never cease?!

Overall, it seems like married sex is great for men, and somewhere in a distant fourth to sleeping, reading a book, or watching a decent romantic comedy for women. J. Cole really wasn’t lying when he said it’s a “Cole World.” … Any who, below are some of the more interesting (or troubling) findings from the survey based on my own personal assessment.

Men Marry Their Best Sex Partner

Sixty-eight percent of men tied the knot with their best sexual partner. Only 45 percent of women said the same. This might explain why…

Married Men Are Happier with Their Sex Lives

Eighty percent of men reported being very happy or happy with their sex life, compared to 60 percent of women.

Husbands Over Estimate Their Wives’ Sexual Satisfaction

While 79 percent of men think their wives are happy or very happy with their sex lives, only 60 percent of women say they actually are.

Kids Ruin Sex?

The sexes agree (52 percent of women; 49 percent of men) that they had hotter sex before they had kids.

Men and Women Have Different Desires…in bed

The most popular desire on men’s “sex wish list” was that their partner would initiate sex more often (42 percent). More oral sex was next (41 percent), followed by anal sex (30 percent); whereas women reported they wanted: foreplay (35 percent), to hear more loving things (32 percent), for their husband to last longer (28 percent) and oral sex (22 percent).

You can check out the full survey by clicking hereWhich of these survey results surprises you the most? The least? If single, which response concerns you the most about sex after marriage?

From Our Partners

  • Sapphron

    I'm not married but these findings don't surprise me at all.

  • X's Dad

    Nothing new. I was once married. And the survey has it right…..my number one complaint (in the bedroom) was lack of initiation from my then wife. I didn't understand why I was always the one starting it up. After a while, it starts to get old and predictable. Oral…..I did that instantanesouly. So I got no complaints from her in that department. Which further baffled me because I was eating the box, but could never ger her to actually initiate sex with me……..That is actuall part of the reason I'm divorced now.

  • amaris79

    The funniest (or saddest?) thing I learned when I came across the survey? It seems men have a "You got me to marry you, right? What else I gotta do?" approach when it comes to "loving things" (spoken word, foreplay or otherwise) and women have the EXACT same approach when it comes to initiating sex. Unfortunately it's women's burden to "fix". The more they initiate sex, the more they can dictate the terms (as in, foreplay, hello!) and the more er…"loving things" the man will want to do. Unfortunately, though, women are still bitter about the misappropriation of household duties thing, so…

    • http://www.singleblackmale.org/author/wisdomismisery/ WisdomIsMisery

      In fairness, the survey above says 60 percent or 6 in 10 women are happy with their married sex lives. So it’d be the remaining 4 in 10 you’re referring to. What would be interesting to me is how many of those 4 in 10 take proactive measures to communicate or express their dissatisfaction to their husbands, rather than quietly fill out online surveys.

      For my own education, do women prefer men initiate sex simply so they can be in a position to accept or deny? Serious question by the way…

      • bellatrice1

        No, if I initiate, it's bc I WANT it; no ulterior motive here :-) I enjoy intiating, I feel more in control.
        My recent post Must Love Sauce [PODCAST]: J Anthony Brown talks Django, Only Working with Women and Hot Sauce

      • amaris79

        They were trained not to initiate from a young age to avoid being mislabeled, and unfortunately old habits die hard. Also, we take rejection much harder in that sense, as women are also taught men want it all the time. Think about how long it takes for a man to get sincerely offended when a woman rebuffs his advances-it's likely due to the perception that women don't want it as often or as much. I also suspect it is partially the reason for the disconnect in the survey-women aren't satisfied because something is keeping them from asking for what they want chexually.

  • Larry

    "for their husband to last longer (28 percent) "

    LOL…all I could think about was that Bernie Mac bit from "Kings of Comedy" when I read that, ha ha ha.

    But yeah, one of t he things that bothered me some in my last relationship was that she didn't seem as into the chex as the same level I was. Interesting survey, indeed.

  • http://www.OpinionatedMale.com Mr SoBo

    Interesting findings. Maybe I'm overlooking the information on this site, but I'm curious to know what demographic was polled in this survey.

    Mr. SoBo
    OpinionatedMale.com

    My recent post ‘Django’ Unchained, Republicans Unchanged: Politics as Usual

  • Amber

    I was a married woman, most married women I know get the short end of the stick when it comes to sex. I know plenty of married women who have side dudes just for sex. It's not talked about and it's very much taboo but it's real. In my marriage my husband had/has a porn addiction. He couldn't have sex for more than 5-6 minutes at the most. It was no affection. no real kissing, it was horrible. Women are supposed to just be grateful to have a man but if she has sexual needs that her husband isn't meeting she is perceived to be " obsessed with sex". However if a man has complaints it's " what you won't do another woman will". My ex husband said sex wasn't everything, but loved to watch porn. Women initiate when the sex is good to them. I got tired of initiating and getting 2 mins of sex, with no orgasm.

  • http://www.exclusive-escort.net/eskorte/massasje-bergen.html Massase Bergen

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