Have you listened to music on the radio recently? Doesn’t it seem like the songs lack flow, feel mismatched, and the beats are like slow-motion-fast (prime example A$AP Rocky “Peso”)? I am over it! This overnight, Internet-instant pace is hurting my ears, my relationships, and my sex life. Granted, who am I to talk as I write this blog? This hyper-speed everything may have already infiltrated your life, and if it hasn’t somehow, it will likely touch you soon. I am not saying Rocky stopped my sex flow, but the belief that instant is possible or even desirable, is f**king up our dating habits. I just point to ASAP Rocky as the tip of the spear in the current instant movement.
The modern world distorts the virtues of delayed gratification. We all know the clock is ticking, but desperation moves never win games in the long run, Lance Armstrong. Patience is power, and having it all right away isn’t necessarily a good thing. In the case of A$AP Rocky, his debut album, with time and proper development now invested, is a hit. Time can do more good than harm. There are consequences for everything we do whether it’s a click of a mouse or the music that moves and inspires us.
For example, we have all dined in the surreal world of instant, which now ranges from overnight celebrity, quick weight loss, high speed travel, fast foods, instant communication (tweets, instagram, FB posts), and the scariest of all, express love. You can order a pizza on your smart phone with delivery in ten minutes, and if you’re a half decent multitasker, in the same time frame you can schedule a date with your perfect match while watching free porn (thanks to Rocky). Like a spoiled brat we can now get what we want, when we want it at anytime; we just need resources and Internet. But, is anything instant worth keeping or good for you? In the case of spoiled children, they grow up to lack empathy, be self-centered, narcissistic, defiant, and have underdeveloped coping skills that make adult life hard to navigate.
Studies are released every day telling us that “the instant” formula we were raised on is not beneficial. Doctors now insist on breast-feeding our kids in lieu of instant formula. Scientists have informed us that genetically engineered fruit are greater in size but have less or no nutritional value. Sometimes we need to do the arithmetic the old fashioned way to get true solutions, not use the Wall Street math that has skewed our current economy and made us disbelievers. Having seen the ravages of the crack epidemic – whether it was the dealer or the “head,” they both loved the instant gratification of the entanglement. One got cash, the other the high. Both received something that was fleeting and damaging to themselves and to our community. Common sense says take your time to cultivate things that will affect your life for the long-term.
Instead, we order love online if we feel lonely or disturbed by our mate’s actions or motives. We chat with our friends on Facebook, Skype, IChat or the myriad of other instant communication tools. These serve more as a placebo than a cure for our desire for real connection. They prevent us from working through the issues, pain, anxiety, loss, and personal upheaval that old school breakups gave us or lost love might cause. There is nothing better for your soul than laying in the dark listening to Al Green or Herald Melvin as you wonder what went wrong.
That slow-cooked food like grandma used to make needs time and love to make it taste right, but instead we go around the corner to get fast food loving. After a breakup, it’s easy to hit a type-specific single mixer and find a new victim or space filler to distract us from our real shortcomings. Instead, we should lick our wounds, talk to our confidants, question everything, find closure, and move on or move back. There is nothing wrong with a home cooked meal; it costs less, and does the mind and body good.
Does wanting what we want when we want it give us what we need? Or, like a spoiled brat, does it just give us what we think we want, and delay the pain of wanting? It certainly avoids the understanding that comes from patiently awaiting what we need. If you believe there is someone out there who can touch your heart and soul in a meaningful way, then wait. Prepare yourself. Take the time to define and find your true self, because if that process is rushed or put on hold for instant fulfillment, that could place you a click, chat or Skype, away from your destiny. And unfortunately, that cannot be instantly recovered. Be careful of wanting what you want when you want it.
About the author: Educated at Fordham University with a desire to master self, cultured by the world, captured by art, music, libations, women, and words; Grandstand curates his crafts to show his best at all times. Current endeavors include clothing, writing, and carpentry. Single in New York City.