Home About Me Five Lessons Learned in Five Years of Writing

Five Lessons Learned in Five Years of Writing

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lessons-learned

I’ve been writing online for five years. I can remember starting with Facebook notes, then a Myspace blog, then my first personal site, then my group blog, then SBM, where you find me today. I’ve learned a lot of lessons along the way, and wanted to share five of them with you.

Some of your best stuff will be the least read.

I couldn’t tell you how many times I poured my all into a post only to see it end up with three comments and few pageviews. It still happens to this day. It still comes with frustration.

But the lesson I’ve learned over time and had to remind myself is that the quality of my work isn’t dictated by traffic. I could write a Nobel Peace Prize post, but because the title wasn’t extra clickable or it didn’t appeal to a fickle interest, the only people that saw it were the regulars that support, a few curious lads and lasses, and a few folks that wanted to be doing anything but work.

On some of the same articles where I was ready to beat my head against the wall because of comment count or traffic, I got emails, tweets, Facebook messages, or texts from people that appreciated the writing or felt like it had a concrete impact on their life; or at the very least, how they thought about something. It wasn’t until the day I got a message from someone that I’ll never forget that I realized no matter how small the crowd, words matter:

“I just wanted to let you know that your post kept me from suicide.”



That’s about as powerful as it gets. To know you saved someone’s life is a far greater reward than seeing a ton of traffic or comments, or a whole bunch of Facebook or Twitter shares. I felt dumb when I got that message. I feel dumb thinking about it. I’m sitting here thinking about metrics not being to my liking, while someone is out there going through things and looking for a reason to exist.

Damn.

You never know who’s watching.

I’ve had my fair share of good fortune come from writing. I’ve been to conferences. I have trophies or plaques that aren’t from high school shit. I’ve spoken at events and on shows. None of these things would’ve been possible if I didn’t put my pen to pad — well, fingers to keyboard — to create my art.

And here’s the interesting thing about my “success” to date…

I don’t think it’s because I write these prolific posts that change the world. I don’t think I have this ridiculous network of connections that just pushes me through. I think the right people just see how much effort I put in or they stumble across the right article at the right time. And the people I do meet, I treat them well. Reader or internet famous. Friend or acquaintance. I treat them with respect.

I’ve gotten words of encouragement from people I’d never expect to hear from. And each message I get is a source of inspiration. Gratitude is crucial. Anyway…

Eight people thoroughly immersed in your success are far greater assets than eighty with lukewarm enthusiasm.

So a couple years ago, I was financially irresponsible and stuff. The Blogging While Brown conference and Black Weblog Awards were happening in LA and I wanted to be there. Without a little help, it wouldn’t have happened. I reluctantly looked to my personal blog readers for help. I needed 4-500 dollars at the time. I ended up getting over $1,200…from strangers…and a select few friends. Actually, two.

I couldn’t tell you how shocked I was given the small audience on my personal site. I had a couple people who told me I had no right asking for money since I was employed, but the people that supported (and continue to support) me checked ’em. Because hey…

Everybody makes mistakes. Everything is entitled to pursue their dreams.

Though I still have moments where I wonder if anybody’s reading, I know that my 80 are out there. They’re the folks that get a seat on the tour bus(es). They’re my boosters.

No matter how good a person you try to be, there will always be people that don’t like you.

As much as I’d like to say nothing phases me, sometimes I hear or read things that give me pause. I remember having my picture plastered on a “popular” website because I was part of a twitter chat that went left. I read a few of the comments and…well, you know how that goes.

I also remember hearing a couple years ago that my name got thrown all through the mud. I couldn’t understand why, and I was annoyed at what was being said. It felt unfair. It felt unjust. I wanted to reach out to each and every person and find out what the deal was, but that wouldn’t have solved anything because that’s not a good approach to life.

There are some people that no matter how much good you do, they will find fault. And it’s those people that we can’t spend our time on.

It’s easy to get caught up chasing someone else’s dream.

This was the bane of my existence for a while. I’d be looking to the left, right, and in front of me at what others were doing. I’d see the opportunities they were getting and the money they were making, and wonder why I wasn’t having the same success? How could I get those opportunities? How could I get invited to the cool kids table?

Those aren’t negative thoughts in and of themselves. But when you adjust your path or vision because of what someone else is doing, you’re on a road to disappointment. You could have all (their) success in the world. But if you’re not doing what’s important to you — what makes you happy — you’ll eventually pay the price.

And I can tell you from experience, it’s not worth paying.

These are just five  things I’ve learned from writing in the last five years. And though they revolve around what I do online, I can take them into my offline life. Because yeah, that’s where the living happens.

With the utmost reflection,

slim jackson

 

What are some of the lessons you’ve learned over the last few years? 

Slim Jackson Slim is the Executive Editor and CEO of SBM Media Group. He's been on the SBM scene for over three years. In addition to discussing relationships, Slim also enjoys writing about Career and Personal Development. Catch Slim regularly here and on his personal development blog, The Real Slim Jackson (www.therealslimjackson.com).
  • thesunk

    Great post right here.
    My recent post #Art Stop Telling Women to Smile by Tatyana Fazlalizadeh

  • I love this. Its so easy to get caught up in the numbers – thanks for reminding me why I'm doing this.

    My recent post "Single" isn't a Dirty Word…

  • Streetz

    Dope! I echo your sentiments sir

  • Muffie Bradshaw

    Ha! The story of my life. lol. Thanks for the encouraging piece. It's funny because whenever I think about moving on from the whole writing thing, there's always a reminder as to why I shouldn't!
    My recent post Muffie Bradshaw: The Dangers of Dating Someone with Potential

  • Great piece.

    Naturally, I’m a big fan of quotes and inspirational pieces but one of my favorites that keeps me grounded in both my writing successes and failures is this one.

    “Talent is God given, be humble. Fame is man given, be grateful. Conceit is self given, be careful.”

    You always have to be careful comparing your successes to others because you’ll always be better than some, which encourages conceit and worse than others, which encourages spite. Neither of these are good or beneficial to achieving your goals. I try to see what others are doing and if I can copy it to improve my own “game,” I will. If not, I move on. Not everyone can be the respective Jordan/Kobe/Lebron of their craft but just because you’re not the “best” by no means you can’t have a very reputable career in whatever field you choose. I think some people think if they/you can’t be the best, then they can’t be anything at all. That’s a defeatist mindset that I can’t identify with. Other folks are just caught up in the crabs in a bucket/misery loves company syndrome. Personally, I wish everyone 1000 years of success but if youre more concerned with holding people down rather than lifting people up, “Ima worry about me, don’t give a f**k about y’all.”

    • Bree

      Love that quote Wis…very very true.

  • Love seeing people remain persistent and humble through the fire. Truly inspiring…kudos sir

  • I definitely understand your point of view. I've only been blogging for 3 weeks now but I can relate 100 percent to this article. I guess its just the nature of the beast.
    My recent post Relationships + Facebook = Breakups

  • Peter Parker

    Yeah, definitely good post Slim. One thing I have learned over the past 5 years of my life is that "everything happens for a reason and that I should never question the man upstairs"

    • Bree

      True that Peter…*smile*

  • Bree

    Slim this was a great post. Remember that no matter what u do, don't do and go thru in life what matters most at the end of the day is that you learned some valuable lesson at the end. I believe thats what God wants most from us. Not that we don't make any mistakes, but that we learn from them and don't constantly keep repeating them. Well Done Slim.
    What have I learned, I've learned this – "The older u get the less you should care about what folks think about you."
    I try to leran something everyday. I learned today that people are getting crazier and crazier and nuttier with time. It's very scary." I wish this was the 70's. lol

  • Uncle Ray

    Outstanding post. Young folks save it and read it five to ten years from now, it will make sense. Not just about writing this applies to life.

  • shar

    I've learned so much over the last few years. The biggest one would be not to worry about what others think of me. I won't be able to please everyone so I should only focus on pleasing myself. I've also learned I can do practically anything I put my mind too, and that I shouldn't doubt myself so much. I've also learned to be a lot more happier and grateful for the great things I have in my life. Even on the worst day, my life is pretty freakin great.

  • jdoubleu

    Great post Slim!

    Much like your #1 lesson, I'd piggy back that just because people aren't commenting doesn't mean they're not reading. For me, I was just writing about my experiences going thru my own life events. I approached my site as a time capsule of my life, as opposed to a potential stream of revenue. I remember 1 particular week I only had 25 hits/a few likes/1 comment. I was like well maybe I should strictly start using 750words.com. But then I wrote a very personal post about my experience w/ suicide (this was around when Jr. Seau passed) and I got nearly 400 hits in that 1 day. Half of those were for that particular post, but then I could see people went milling through my archives; reading and commenting on posts I'd forgotten about.

    So I think the more you write w/out hits/views/people's perception on your mind, people will connect with your transparency and skill. Because anybody can write. Great writing takes practice.
    My recent post Why I’ll Never Have To Spank My Kids

    • Slim Jackson

      I love 750 words. Great place to write when you don't want that WordPress pressure.lol.

      And this?

      "So I think the more you write w/out hits/views/people's perception on your mind, people will connect with your transparency and skill. Because anybody can write. Great writing takes practice."

      Mega true.
      My recent post Getting Started: How to Become an Expert in Anything

  • niksmit

    In the last few years, I've learned to listen to others' advice, but to not let it throw me off of my course even when my course is looking cray. Sometimes I really do know what I'm talking about, especially when it comes to me.
    Also, keep swimming really is good advice. We need moments of stillness, but overall we only get anywhere if we keep it moving.

  • UrbanMBA

    Great article! I don't comment much here at SBM but I've been following you guys for a while. Always something fun, insightful or moving on the site. On another note, reading your blog is one of the main things that inspired me to start my blog. I had always been a writer but just never made the time for it. When I saw your style of writing, I realized that people just want fresh perspectives.

    P.S. Thanks for the feedback you gave me a while back.
    My recent post Youth Empowerment, Crowdfunding and Competition

  • This is brilliant in its honesty. It is so satisfying to read this and the comments and know that pockets of sincerity and decency are alive and well in the world, and more importantly, appreciated. Keep up the superb work and more success to you :):)
    My recent post Slideshow

  • It happens to me very often that I write something which I don't consider to particularly good and then it ends up getting a lot of credit
    My recent post 7 Lucruri pe care trebuie sa le stii despre web design