Five Things About Men I’ll Teach My Son

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Two months ago, Mrs. Most and I had our first child — a boy. Prior to being a parent however, I often found myself watching parents with their kids and couldn’t help but picture myself with my own miniature version of myself. I often thought about what kind of parent I’d be and what nuggets of wisdom I’d pass along when the times comes. I started writing about these thoughts in what I called the Future Father series. The first iteration of the series was “Five Things About Women I’ll Teach My Son,” the second was “Five Things About Men I’ll Teach My Daughter.” This week, as my first Father’s Day approaches, I want to pick up where I left off with that series and share the things I’d like to pass along to my son about his interactions with other men.

5. Every man needs a male best friend.

Every Avon needs a Stringer. The downfall of many men has been the lack of a true best friend who is also male. Think about Tiger Woods. Now, be clear, I’m not saying I condone all of the extra-marital foolishness Tiger found himself in. But when it all surfaced, when the text messages and voice-mails started coming from everywhere, the first thing I wondered was where was his best friend. A best friend would have shielded Tiger from a great deal of what he ended up experiencing. He would have made sure Tiger wasn’t giving those women the same phone number he uses to call his mom, he would have made sure Tiger wasn’t falling in love with these other women. More than all of that, a best friend would have told Tiger “Bro, you’re about to lose $600 million raw-dogging these porn stars … it’s time to chill.” That’s what a best friend does, he encourages a healthy amount fun, which sometimes includes foolishness, but he also pulls the reigns when it goes too far. He knows the password to your laptop so that he can clear your browser cache and delete your g-chat history if anything ever happens to you, he knows where all of the bodies are hidden, and should you find yourself someplace you’re not supposed to be, he’s always there to provide an alibi without question or judgment.

4. Trust not who a man says he is, instead, trust who you know him to be.

When dealing with other men, be it in business or in friendship, trust is extremely important. Putting your trust in the wrong person can have disastrous implications. Instead of giving your trust freely, focus your energy on getting to know people thoroughly. It’s much easier to do business with a man you know you can’t trust than it is to do business with a man you don’t know at all. Liars will lie and if you can trust that man will lie, you should be able to predict their actions and manage the relationship. If you can’t get a good grasp of who a guy is, if he’s elusive and good at hiding his true nature–avoid him–especially in business.

3. Never trust a man whose first response is always emotional.

No man is stone. Few of us are capable of remaining completely detached from our feelings. It’s not a healthy way to live. That said, there are men you will come across who are completely incapable of controlling their emotional responses to situations they find themselves in. The unpredictability of human emotions makes it impossible to trust these dudes. There comes times in the lives of every man where you have to be able to put emotion aside and make decisions based on logic–in those moments overly emotional men are absolutely useless. Think about Sonny from the Godfather. He could have been a great Don. He had all the requisite character traits for leading the family. He just couldn’t control his temper and it was his temper that got him killed.

2. Avoid men who spend too much time chasing, and place too much value on acquiring p****.

Theon

There will come a time in your life when scheming on the lady parts of women is pretty high on your list of things to do. It happens. But no matter what, it should never be your top priority and as you get older you’ll come to realize that chasing only begets more chasing. When you’re young you’ll feel like p**** is a commodity and you’ll respect the man capable of acquiring that commodity in abundance. But as you get older you’ll come to realize that finding a woman who will spread her legs for you is easy; finding someone you can trust to be your partner for the rest of your life is much harder. If you focus your interaction with women on the latter, you’ll fall into more than enough of the former along the way to quench any thirst you might have. You will know this and understand this, but the same cannot be said for all the men you’ll come to know. Some men will dedicate their lives to chasing women. It’ll be a constant distraction to their progress and overall life success, they’ll equate everything to how many women they’ve been with, and they’ll judge the masculinity of others by their ability to get women. If you surround yourself with these types of men you’ll find their addiction is contagious. You’ll also find that they generally have poor reputations amongst those who know them; if you spend too much time with them, their reputation will eventually become your reputation.

1. Surround yourself with men who inspire you, not men who are inspired by you.

If you are the smartest, most successful, most influential man in your network, you need a new network. This doesn’t mean you change your set of friends as you mature in life or advance yourself professionally, but it does mean you need to continue to put yourself in circles of people who push you to grow and be better. If you’re constantly the source of inspiration for those around you, you’ll come to a point where you realize you’re no longer growing.

 

That’s it, these are just a few of the things I plan to pass to my son when it comes to his interactions with other men. Fellas, what are some of the things you’ve learned about men that you’d pass on to your boy. Ladies, what about you all, what are the some things you’ve learned about men through your interactions that you think would be valuable for your son?

 

SBM Fam – as father’s day approaches, what are a few things about men you’d teach your children?

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  • 12 Point Buck

    It would really be a never ending list, but I’ll throw some in the pot:

    -If you’re getting your hands dirty, be sneaky and smart about it. Only loud dumb men get caught.

    -Make no apologies for your natural instincts and urges as a man.

    -Know when and how to escape an escalating dangerous situation, and how to defend yourself when you can’t. I’ll train him in krav maga, judo, and muay thai

    -Everyday, forcefully stop your pee in mid-stream to strengthen your pubococcygeus muscle. This will give you superhuman control of your [Richard], drastically reduce the risk of prostate cancer, and strengthen your erections.

    -The typical western/american diet will kill you or make you dependent on the system in the long term. Exercise and eat healthy as long as you live.

    -Know how to start your own business or work for yourself so you don’t have to depend on others for your livelihood.

    -Akuma: jab, jab, forward, light kick, fierce punch

    • Bushido Brown

      I'm digging the Raging Demon at the end

  • oh ok…

    Great list!!! Like seriously, and the pix are spot on!

  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

    you hit them all…..only thing to add to your last point is to still be your own man, coattail riding only gets you but so far. Dont be the man always in the passenger seat, dont be Robin, always have your own moves to make

  • cancergirl08

    Never lose your character. Life will test you to see if you are who you say you are. No matter the circumstances, morals and values are so clutch. People may not like you if they aren't able to manipulate you or get you to follow the crowd, but they WILL respect you for it. Even if they don't tell you.

  • Peter Parker

    Good list bro! Also, I will add, "Your word is your bond." Always be a man of your word.

  • 12 Point Buck

    Adding mine:

    Everyday, practice stopping your pee mid-stream with your man-power. This will strengthen your pubococcygeus muscle, giving you superhuman control of your peen, enhance your meat hardness, and make you virtually immune to prostate cancer.

    This is the kind of stuff they don't teach boys in school– how to tap into your man-power to achieve maximum manliness. Thousands of years ago men used to teach this stuff, but now it is essentially lost knowledge.

    And it's also in the same category of things that single mothers are unaware of when raising boys. This is why its important for fathers or other men to be around to pass the knowledge of man-power on to their boys.

    (I once knocked down a tree with my man-power. It also helps me jump higher and run faster than my enemies.)

  • TriniProud

    2. Avoid men who spend too much time chasing, and place too much value on acquiring p****. YAS!!!! Especially, ESPECIALLY the brothers who are marriage minded, married or looking to move their relationships to the next level. You don't need THIS ninja in your life anymore, he's the first one screaming "BOYS TRIP!!", first one to suggest/badger/insist on hitting the strip club and first to act like YOU are his girlfriend once you get serious about your woman.

    Seriously, the more stable your life and relationship get's, the more THIS fool will be the one to remind of alllllll the smashable POON that you are missing out on!!! DUMP HIM!!!! (PS: Great Post!)

  • TriniProud

    2. Avoid men who spend too much time chasing, and place too much value on acquiring p****. YAS!!!! Especially, ESPECIALLY the brothers who are marriage minded, married or looking to move their relationships to the next level. You don't need THIS ninja in your life anymore, he's the first one screaming "BOYS TRIP!!", first one to suggest/badger/insist on hitting the strip club and first to act like YOU are his girlfriend once you get serious about your woman.