Home Featured Forever Alone: Nadine Schweigert, Self-Marriage, And The Fear Of Being Single

Forever Alone: Nadine Schweigert, Self-Marriage, And The Fear Of Being Single

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Have women finally reached their breaking point? I asked myself this question, as I read an article from the good folks over at the Huffington Post regarding women who are marrying themselves:

The marriage took place among friends and family who were encouraged to “blow kisses to the world” after she exchanged rings with her “inner groom”, My Fox Phoenix reports.

“I feel very empowered, very happy, very joyous … I want to share that with people, and also the people that were in attendance, it’s a form of accountability,” Nadien Schweigert told Anderson Cooper.

Schweigert said the ceremony was a celebration of how far she’d come since her painful divorce six years ago that led to her two children to decide to live with her ex-husband.

“Six years ago I would’ve handled a problem by going out and drinking,” she said. “I smoked, I was 50 pounds overweight … this is just celebrating how far I’ve come in my life.”

The Fargo-based yoga teacher also takes herself on dates to treat herself and “to invest in this relationship”

Interestingly enough, this practice isn’t uncommon, as Dennis Rodman (the poster boy of normalcy) once married himself in a famous publicity stunt. Apparently, self-marriages have been very popular as of late. I’m not one to judge, but this seems to be the most pathetic story I’ve read in 2013! People are really out here holding ceremonies for themselves? They took the time to send out an invite to a group of friends, book a venue, and pick out a wedding gown to join themselves in holy matrimony? I wish as an employer my employee requested a day off to witness a self-marriage. They would get Jazzy Jeff’d out of the establishment immediately. Do they have bridesmaids? Did they walk down the aisle to this classic tune:

Seriously, while I understand the thinking behind the ritual (a celebration of overcoming great difficulties relationship wise and acknowledging that you aren’t reliant on companionship to be happy in life), I think a house party, lounge, or other festive outing would suffice. I think that these self-marriage ceremonies speak to a larger issue of people who can’t handle being single. It’s difficult, especially if you’ve gotten out of a long term relationship, to phase back into the single life. Sometimes we forget who we were prior to our relationships, and we think that we are lacking when we are alone. This just isn’t the case.

You have to learn how to love yourself before anyone can love you correctly. Being single isn’t an indictment on you. It’s just a stage in life. If you become a serial clinger, someone who is in and out of relationships as often as you change your underwear, then you will never know how to be emotionally self-sustaining. Those type of people don’t know how to be alone or work on the aspects of their personality that may be a detriment to future relationships. Sometimes you need a break to just be still and reflect! Dating is cool, but it isn’t a requirement. You don’t need companionship to survive, and that mentality is damaging to the mind and spirit.

I think anyone would be lying if they said they never desired to be loved. We all do. It’s a staple of our humanity. No matter how many articles you read on “lonely single women”, there’s nothing wrong with being meticulous and methodical in your selection of a significant other. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, and you don’t need a ceremony to reaffirm your commitment to self-happiness. These ceremonies come off as desperate, corny, and self-aggrandizing displays of narcissism all at once. I could never see myself with a woman who performs a self-marriage ceremony.

Then again, wouldn’t that be adultery or polygamy?

I can’t call it, maybe you can.

Streetz

Comment(22)

  1. This gotta be the most ridiculous thing i ever heard. It speaks for society, who continue to celebrate mediocrity and nothing says mediocrity like having a ceremony for getting your sh t together.

  2. I get what she was going for but a wedding … Really ? What happened to writing yourself a ” self love” letter and just letting ish be.

    People want to much recognition for everything. I wonder did she have a wedding registry and a reception?

    I guess what ever makes you happy. I really wish they didn’t high light these stories about women, miles use look like we never ever love ourselves. That were alway lonely or miserable with no man around .

  3. "They would get Jazzy Jeff’d out of the establishment immediately." LMBO!!!!

    Yeah, this is extra. I get it…but this story/trend is still very extra..

  4. Loneliness happens to everyone it's another one of those things that makes you human but to me there's never a need to display it like open wound. Have some pride and theres nothing wrong with celebrating your love for self but you do so by playing Just Fine…having a wedding ceremony just feels like a last ditch effort to save your ego (which may be necessary for some). This whole thing just set women back a few decades.

  5. "Being single isn’t an indictment on you. It’s just a stage in life. "

    While agree with you, not everyone thinks like that. I don't know if you noticed but people like to make it seem like there's something wrong with a woman if she's single. Have you ever heard "she can't keep a man" as if men have no free will and if they leave/cheat it's because there's something wrong with the woman. If a woman is single she gets called a cat lady, old maid, old hag, crazy, etc. People make it seem like single women are just the most miserable women on earth. Some people can handle being told there's something wrong with them or they're not good enough and some do crazy stuff to feel better about it, like marry themselves. lol

    I think more people would handle being single a lot better if people left them alone. I was happy when I was single…..until people started saying there must be something wrong with me or I'm gonna be a cat lady. I didn't marry myself or anything because of it lol, It just bothered me, a lot.

    Marrying yourself is kinda dumb but if it makes the person happy, who am I to judge?

    1. So much of this!!

      Love it.

      Two things stand out. 1) Have you ever heard "she can't keep a man" as if men have no free will and if they leave/cheat it's because there's something wrong with the woman.

      I see this a lot with the Halle Berry comments. "Oh, Halle can't keep a man." Um.. Halle dates dudes for years on end, publicly. When it ends badly, publicly, people have a lot to say. I can name everyday women who've had just as much, if not more, crazy ass breakups in their lives, but are quick to call out Halle. (sorry for the tangent).

      2)I think more people would handle being single a lot better if people left them alone.

      Yep, you must mean all the cajoling from relativees, the articles, the books, the movies and the seminars on what you are supposedly doing wrong or why can't you find a man. I think if people stopped bothering women about that, they would definitely not tie their happiness into being married or getting married.

  6. this really made me feel better, i think im going to throw myself a Ceremony!!!!!! Invite all my single friends!!!!! Seriously though this made alot of sense and i can agree to so much, being single sucks at times but then again once you see they girl thats crying over some babymama Bullishhhh you like oh nell naw girl *Takes earrings off* But GREAT article……… think im going to renew my single vows tonight!!!! LOL

    1. "but then again once you see they girl thats crying over some babymama Bullishhhh"

      So true. When I was single I would think it sucks then I would hear relationship horror stories and be like "you know what, being single isn't that bad". lol

  7. I get the idea behind it, I really do. I just don't understand why it has to be a whole ceremony. I'm all for finding yourself and bettering yourself but as you suggested, wouldn't a house party suffice. How about a dinner with friends. A wedding? Doing too much.
    My recent post Has Your Dream Expired?

    1. I think its basically for folks who feel like, "dammit, I'm single ok I'll be fine with that BUT I still want a ceremony"….seriously, its a chick thing. You won't see any dudes doing this…an Dennis Rodman DON'T count. LOL

  8. All this "flag waving" has to end!!! Most of us today are single because of the ones we see in the mirror everyday. Attempting to blame the opposite sex and other factors, is just an example of how insecure, immature, and selfish our society has become. People nowadays don't want to own their chit. I'll say it again people there is a big difference between knowing you aren't perfect and being self-aware!

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