Men Are Intimidated By You Because…

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StefanDebut

There are women going around saying confidently that, “Men are intimidated by me.” It’s true, some men feel intimidated at times, but moreso by the thought of rejection than the actual woman. When a man approaches a woman, at that particular moment in time, she becomes a symbol of rejection; we (men and women) all fear rejection. That’s natural. However, it doesn’t make sense to believe that every person of the opposite sex is utterly intimated by you… Here are some of the goofiest reasons women say “Men are intimidated by me”:

1. Money

So men are intimated by you because you are business-oriented and you know how to get to the bread? Please, not at all. Let’s get this money together. Let’s be a power couple and show ‘em how it’s done. Let’s have a family and find bliss in the security of financial stability. You make more money than me? That’s fine, because money doesn’t dictate a relationship; love does.

2. Height

So men are intimidated by you because you’re tall? I don’t know about the men you date, but me and my boys like a tall amazon. Over here, we know that when we lay down we’re all the same height. Who doesn’t like a tall, eloquent woman? Don’t wear flats when we go out and don’t make up excuses, put on the tallest heels you have, because that doesn’t threaten a real man’s manhood.

3. Short Hair

You have short natural hair and brothas only like a certain type of woman? Child please… Weave is OK, we already know how men feel about it. However, short hair isn’t at all intimidating or unattractive. Have you heard of Nia Long, Halle Berry, what about the beautiful Kwentonza? All of these women are beautiful and men all around the world would shoot their best shot to date them.

4. Education

So you’re smart, intelligent, and college-educated? That’s beautiful. Intelligent women make better lovers anyways. Teach me something new and let me teach you something as well. Tell me what you’re passionate about. Lay in the bed with me and share your aspirations. Just don’t be a know-it-all; nobody likes a know-it-all, male or female, that fact isn’t even gender-specific. Just go with the flow- if there’s an opportunity to teach, then teach. Share knowledge and let’s make one another better.

5. Sex Drive

So men are intimated by you, because you have a healthy sexual appetitte? “Man, I’m going to break up with my girl man, she just likes to have sex all the time” or “I can’t approach her she’s just too damn sexy.” SNME=Said No Man Ever. Men aren’t intimidated by the fact that you like to have a lot of sex. They (as in those other guys) only get intimidated when they feel as though they can’t satisfy you and that’s completely normal. Men and women both feel like that sometimes. The goal is to get to know one another sexually; instead of playing roulette with your sexual partners.

6. Because I Approached Him

SAY WHAAAA…. Do you know how difficult it is to approach someone you’re interested in? Difficult enough. Harder for some, easier for others. If you approached a man, you’re my God Damn hero. Make moves and get the man you want. I find it hard to believe that you can find a soulmate only based on the people that approach you. What about the others that you wanted and may have wanted you as well, but didn’t notice you peeping them? You both missed out. The only men that women that approach men intimidate are those that simply aren’t attracted to them.

7. Because You’re Powerful and Opinionated

You speak your mind and you’re a strong woman. You say men only like women they can dominate? I call “bullsh*t”. A genuine man wants a strong woman to build a family around. A genuine man wants a woman that will correct him when he’s wrong and help guide him when he’s off track. My point being that some women’s intentions are good, they just don’t know how to get the message across. Here’s how to dominate a man in a subtle way that he’ll be open to receive.

Beautiful and radiant women attract men, whether he’s approaching to pay a simple compliment or to pursue you. If you proclaim to your friends in joy that  “Men are intimated by me” it might speak volumes about what type of woman you are. It’s not cute…

Has a man ever admitted to being intimidated by you? Have you ever met a guy that intimated you?

TheSUNK or “the Sh!t U Need 2 Know” is the social media coordinator for SingleBlackMale, he’s also a native of Chicago and a current Howard University student.

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  • http://twitter.com/mpj2k4 @mpj2k4

    Something about a woman who approaches me that does it to me. Women are more picky in regards to what they want. They usually want a man that's a certain height (which factors in a woman's height in heels), and a certain age etc. That eliminates a good chunk of men not including other things that are women's preferences. If that's the case why not approach the type of man your attracted rather than wait for him to make a move? That shows that she knows what she wants so it doesn't intimidate me one bit lol.

  • http://twitter.com/DoctaPOPS @DoctaPOPS

    I ain't got much to add, you spoke my words homie

  • payne well

    One guy slightly did. He felt because of my personality that I would have reject his advances. However, being the confident guy he is, he approached me anyway. It didn't work out romantically, but he is a very good friend of mine.
    My recent post Practice what you preach!

  • http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com Dr. J

    We got to stop equating powerful, strong and opinionated. Those are not synonymous.

    I don’t think these things are intimidating, but men will let that be the reason rather than saying the real. The real is when women use these things competitively against a man. “I have money” or “I have my masters degree” and that’s a turn off. Men take a dive in this situation because women can’t understand how something important to them is actually a turn off to a man. We say intimidated to avoid any subsequent conversations.

    • Ms. Smart

      Amen. Relationships aren't competitions. They are teams.

    • WIM

      +1

    • thesunk

      Even though the word "and" implies "equal to". I meant the tolerable opinionated person, that incites a good challenge. Not the person that lives to disagree at any given opportunity. There is a strong, favorable quality in a person that inspires the right challenges.
      My recent post #Art Rick Ross aka “Venus of Miami”

    • Uncle Hugh, BP

      Dr. J: "We got to stop equating powerful, strong and opinionated. Those are not synonymous."

      Something I never understood. So running off at the mouth and always voicing your opinion is somehow powerful? That's not a sign of strength. Little kids do that.

      • Ms. Smart

        Strength is knowing when to strategically use silence AND words (with the right tone).

    • Jasmine

      "Men take a dive in this situation because women can't understand how something important to them is actually a turn off to a man."
      Wait… I'm one of those women who doesn't understand. Explain this to me? Why would something that's important to a woman be a turnoff to a man?

  • Ms. Smart

    I have NEVER had a man say they are intimidated by me. EVER. At no time.

    This whole 'intimidation' excuse is just that–an excuse manufactured by magazines that cater to Black women. Allow me to break this down.

    1. Money: He doesn't know you have it until you show you have it. For a lot of women (especially those who didn't have the benefit of learning the soft skills that make them successful in getting into relationships), they made their money by tuning into very masculine traits. Furthermore, they treat people around them like underlings–which might be fine at work but in real life, it puts people off.

    2. Height: BS

    3. Short hair: If she has short hair and no chex appeal, she could have long hair and no chex appeal. Mean still wouldn't check for her.

    4. Education: Also BS. But if she has to highlight her education in every third sentence, it becomes annoying.

    5. Sex Drive: BS! Unless she is a swamp donkey and her skin causes men to involuntarily recoil, this is not why men don't want her. It's more likely that she's trying to use chex to force a relationship and he isn't stupid enough to fall for that old game.

    6. The Approach: Women stay approaching men who do not want them. If he wanted her, he probably would have approached her. But women who aren't used to being approached have to take matters into their own hands and be the aggressor. This is all cool to dudes at first until she starts to show masculine tendencies that turn A-Type men off. For a B-Type man, being with a woman with masculine sensibilities might work so long as he's attracted to her.

    7. Opinionated: Try rude. This whole 'strong woman' BS gives rude women a reason why people don't like them.

    In closing, men like women. They aren't scared of us. But women don't want to consider that they aren't as attractive (physically, emotionally, etc.), as their friends, family, and egos tell them they are. Same is true for men, but we aren't talking about men today.

    • http://singleblackmale.org MR 2 cents ($0.02)

      I agree Wit u .100% @ms smart
      My recent post The SBM Sports Recap of the 2013 NBA Season

    • SMileZ_920

      “Drop’s dollar bills in the collection plate.”

      You hit the nail on the head. Sometimes it’s really just the woman, I know it’s hard to admit for some but it’s the truth. The “Men are intimidated by me” spill is just as bad as the “I’m independent, roll call” that some women use as a reason why men won’t approach or continue to deal with them.

      I also like how you pointed out, – “They aren't scared of us. But women don't want to consider that they aren't as attractive (physically, emotionally, etc.), as their friends, family, and egos tell them they are.”— Everyman you want isn’t going to be interested in you, that’s life. I think some women can’t handle rejection so they fall back on the “well he was intimidated”. No Ms just not interested.

    • cynicaloptmst81

      Thumbs! Lots and lots of thumbs!

    • Adonis

      There goes @Ms Smart again speaking the real!!!

      It is uncomfortable, because women should check each other like this, so like me can save my energy to improve the lives of (black) males everywhere.

      The sad side is that, a lot of women get pacified in society instead of someone being honest with them so they can make the proper adjustment, and start winning at life!

      Good day!

    • Paul B.

      Enough said.

  • http://whatyouallow.com/ Wildflower

    Even though they're goofy, these points are valid. Of course this doesn't apply to everyone..
    My recent post Closet Freak The Betrayal

  • WIM

    I guess I'm the only man on Earth that (will admit) has been intimidated by a woman before. However, it never had anything to do with any of the reasons listed above, besides maybe approaching. When I was young, I was shy. Point. Blank. Period. So I was intimidated by a lot of things that had anything to do with speaking in public. So, as you can imagine, approaching women wasn't my strong suit until roughly High School when I grew a few inches and started hanging with some Goons. I evolved, because that's life and that's what you're supposed to do.

    Rarely, since I was like 15, have I outright been intimidated by a woman. I've met women, and due to various factors I was turned off by something they did/said/acted and they probably described that to their friends as me being "intimated" but #No. I'm actually not sure why: 1) being "intimidated" or "men can't handle me" has somehow become a badge of honor for some women over the years; and 2) if all men are intimidated by you, how is the issue all men and not y….never mind.

    In most of my observations, the real source of the problem is a number of these "intimidating" women simply arent that attractive – or at least they are not as attractive as they think they are or their attractiveness level does not match up with their other less preferred attributes. Let me put it like this, a lot of times I see various women making various complaints on Social Media and all I have to do is enlarge their profile picture for me to get a clear picture of what the main issue is 9 times outta 10. I know no one wants to hear that but it is what it is. Men are visual creatures, and most men I know adjust the level of BS they're willing to put up with in romantic encounters – intimidation or other – based on how attracted to a woman they are. Stated another way, if a man is going to accept some things he doesn't like I can assure you he'd rather accept them coming from a 6 – 10 than a 1 – 4.

    • thesunk

      6-10 though. How about 7-10? You letting the undesirables creep in. lol
      My recent post #Art Rick Ross aka “Venus of Miami”

    • Dr. J

      I been intimidated before… if for the right reasons then I became a better man for it.

      For example like:

      1) Women who you know that if you don't have your sh*t together they will not talk to you.
      2) Women who are hip to game and you can't get anything pass them.
      3) Women who do "things" that make us question if we are in control of the "situation," if you know what I mean.

      All those have happened to me and it didn't really make me walk away, it was a challenge.

      • http://www.singleblackmale.org/author/wisdomismisery/ WisdomIsMisery

        I think the word “intimidated” isn’t sitting right with me. I don’t think I’ve been intimidated but by a handful of women – I’ve been called cocky more than a few times, which FTR I don’t consider a bad thing. I was conceited for a while too but I grew out of that phase. I say all this to say that I wouldn’t say I’m intimidated but I do assume a lot. I assume all the time. And if I assume a woman is for “x reason” someone I can’t see a future with, I’m going to avoid her or keep it moving. I’ve never really felt pressured to justify to someone, a woman or other, why Im not checking for them because the outcome is the same regardless. If they want to see me as intimidated, all good. Either way, I’m not checking for them so their opinion doesn’t really impact me one way or the other.

    • prettywitty123

      First, thank you for your honesty. Second, I have had men come straight out and tell me that they were intimidated. It is not a badge of honor. I would rather that, if I have agreed to date them/found them attractive enough, that they try to become comfortable, be charming, be sweet and try to ensure that both parties are having a good time (if we make it that far).

      Guys, if you are more of the shy type, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not try to overcome that by developing an "I don't give a f**k" attitude. That is actually MORE of a turn-off than any perceived shyness or awkwardness. Because guess what? If you don't give a f**k, I can certainly assure you that I wont give a "flying f**k" and you will know it in no uncertain terms when you approach. Just approach me with manners, respect, decency and a little charm (sheesh whatever happen to charm/smoothness) and then things will move somewhere.

      This is just a little advice from a real sister who loves to see real black love.

  • InsominaPoet

    I've had dudes tell me they were intimidated by me before…but I didn't believe them. I assumed they were just trying a some new game on me. It was like that run into a dude you never paid attention to 3yrs later and he says that he always liked you but didn't holla back then because he was "intimidated" type game LOL.

    I think if a man is really intimidated by you – you will never even know. It's not as if he is going to tell you. So basically the woman ends up assuming some man is intimidated and you know what they say about those who ASSume…

  • Uncle Hugh, BP

    "I don’t know about the men you date, but me and my boys like a tall amazon…Don’t wear flats when we go out and don’t make up excuses, put on the tallest heels you have, because that doesn’t threaten a real man’s manhood."

    This.

    • InsominaPoet

      Yes! As a tall woman reading that line made me smile!

      • slimmycakez

        Same here!!! :)

      • slimmycakez

        Plus, I secretly love me some shorter men. There's something about a shorter man walking around with a tall chick on his arm that gets me.

  • Jay Dee

    I wish I could find a chick to politic on some Thomas l. Freidman.

    That shit is sexy.

  • Streetz

    Women used to intimidate me when I was a teen because I was scared of rejection. Once I didnt give a f*ck I was straight. I'll still get a tad nervous, but that's normal and would never stop the holleration!

  • Peter Parker

    "Let’s be a power couple and show ‘em how it’s done."
    The above statement is the reason no woman would ever intimidate me…Me being an overachiever in everything and having a girl who is "about that life" also, yo that's a power team for real!!! Enough said!

  • cynicaloptmst81

    As others have stated, it's just easier to say "he's intimidated by me" instead of "he doesn't want me". It happens, but not as often as women make it seem.

    I've never said I was intimidated by a man. What I have observed about myself and been told by men is that I am not approachable. I think I've mentioned here that my standard expression is kinda serious which makes me look mean or mad, lol. My whole aura is "don't bother me". I'm the lady that gets "Smile, sweetie" on the regular, lol…smh. I don't think men are intimidated by that at all. They just follow my facial instruction…and don't bother me, lol.

    • cynicaloptmst81

      I don't know that I've ever been intimidated by a man. But, I have looked at certain men as "out of my league"…I can admit that. I've also been proven wrong, lol. But, it has happened and will prob happen in the future. "He'd never pay me any attention."

  • GIrlSixx

    Nah, that Height this is REAL!!!!! Tall men intimidate me, I dunno what it is and why but when they try to holla I get sweaty palms and all nervous and whatnot.. #TheStruggle.. *smhlol*

    Perhaps It stems from the fact that every BF/Husband I had was in the 5'5 to 5'9 range so i guess it's a height range I am more comfortable with; I'm 5'6. *Shrug*

    I dunno, but depending on a person — HEIGHT can be an intimidating factor..

  • GirlSixx

    *thing*

  • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

    Great post.

    only a couple of notes

    1) I personally HATE the word amazon – it's one of those things that can tread the line between being a compliment and an insult, and I don't care to try and discern that lol. ( Also, if one more person says "I like to climb…" I AM NOT A JUNGLE GYM argg)

    2) There are men with low s*x drives , guys. It exists, and more frequently than you think, lol. But I also think a lot of it is rooted in most women being conditioned to not initiate secksy time – so a chick may be good to go, but a dude has no clue and doesn't initiate and then she gets all butthurt and goes to bed mad. (been there, got the postcard, got over it. lol). Thats not being able to handle your desire to get it in – that's you not vocalizing, lol. We're all grown, if a man is ashamed that you like to have s*x too then you need not be with said man.

    Ultimately, a lot of women are out in these streets confusing emasculation with intimidation. Striving to be equal does not mean going out of your way to one-up people. It's not an attractive trait regardless of gender.

    • InsominaPoet

      LOL I never thought of Amazon that way – but you make a good point. DWL @ the climbing comment – they love to use that one!

    • FlyyLibrarian

      Re. #1 I always respond, "I'm not a tree." I consider you average height though, surprised that you get that line.

  • http://herlilblackbook.com HLBB

    Has a man ever admitted to being intimidated by you?

    1. Money
    Sadly yes. Even if we are likely to be in the same income bracket…with the same debt load…

    2. Height
    I’m short. Not ever been said to me.

    3. Short Hair
    Sigh. Actually, one did say, “it takes a woman with a lot of confidence to do that.” His friend responded, “yeah, the kind that will leave your ass for something better!” I STILL don’t understand this logic.

    4. Education
    My high school boyfriend couldn’t believe that I had received a better grade in our Politics class. Said the only way it could’ve happened was because the teacher thought I was hot. You see, as an art student, there was no way that my abstract thought process could understand Politics. I have experimented with “dumbing” myself down since that moment and have gotten the guy every time…

    5. Sex Drive
    “Where did you learn how to do that?” = “how many guys have you been with?” = slut shaming. Reality…when you’re in a healthy relationship that was 5+ years, you develop new skills.

    6. Because I Approached Him
    Yes. I once picked up a guy by saying, “did anyone ever tell you that you look EXACTLY like my future ex-boyfriend?” He loved it, but then said that the next day, he felt really intimidated by it.

    7. Because You’re Powerful and Opinionated
    Told this regularly. Even by my own mama.

    I don’t wear this as a badge of honour. I also realized in my 20s that guys who are intimidated by this are NOT the kind of guys I want to be with. It’s the mark of an insecure man when they find these attributes “intimidating”.

    Have I ever been intimidated? Actually. Yes. It was his looks – to me the man was flawless…stunning. But I eventually recovered ;)

    My recent post I Am Not a Pick Up Artist…

  • langwichartz

    Love this post!! I have to say that intimidation mess is about just as bad as women not liking to be asked to be submissive (lol). I have said once on my timeline that Strength is not measured by always speaking your mind, but by knowing when to bite your tongue. Some people in general have a problem with that, but more specifically those women who "claim" we are so intimidated by their voice. So many people today are trying to find their voice at the expense of others voices.

  • Jay Dee

    Intimidated?

    Unless you have some hangups you need to workout, I doubt men are intimidated.

    Tired?

    He'll yea.

    If you are "Too Busy" I'm not waiting around for you to get your life/mind/shit together so NEXT.

  • Lovely

    I don't look at it being "intimidated"… which means your scared. I would probably call it a little timid which mean Lack of Confidence. I think this can happen to a man who sees a woman that makes him feel inadequate.

    If he is attracted to a women who is good looking, smart, kind, sophisticated, independent, confident…and he is a man who is a little shy, not quite making the money he deserves (yet), not totally independent (yet) or other issues….he will not easily approach this women. Some people call it "intimidated" or "out of your league" but I just see it as lack of confidence…especially if your a great guy. I think a lot of men and (women) have experience this….and personally I can tell when a man is nervous around me.

    I have had men (friends) tell me…"Lovely" (yes my name is lovely:), your a nice beautiful lady, and you can talk to any man about anything….but you also give off this vibe that say's don't F – - – with me either" (LOLl). I will own that! Because I can be like that when meeting men….your heard the saying, "come correct, or don't come at all". I don't have time for the games. This type of vibe will make a "player" think twice before approaching me.

  • Lilit

    I'm a tall female who is educated and I seriously feel the article is striving to be positive but it's not a reality. I have received negative comments about my height, such as "I am man," "I'm trying to be feminine" or the best one I heard so far is "good luck finding a taller man!" Also, I've tried the approach the male tactic before, it worked once and my ex was taken aback by it and enjoyed being courted by a female. But I wouldn't suggest it to anyone to do this spontaneously. I was lucky with my ex, since he like tall girls aka I was his first tall girlfriend. I never met any male that admire or who put aside his ego to get to know due to my height.
    Males (short and tall) always approach shorter girls, so, why can't males approach taller females? I'm fed up with all this excuses men have about how a female intimidates them. Seriously, I just need a man who has hardcore testosterone pumping through their scrotum to put aside all this superficial stuff and be 100% real, instead of a sissy.

  • prettywitty123

    I have had men say that they were intimidated by me a couple of times before. Yes, they have actually said the words. So it does happen. It is very disconcerting to me, more than anything I want for them to just be comfortable and for us to have a good time (this usually happens to me on dates, not just in first meeting someone). Ironically usually the things that they are intimidated by, I usually am not all that pressed about (there are some things that ARE WHAT THEY ARE and WON'T change if you are dating me). So, no it is not some made up thing generated by a woman's magazine. It actually does happen. My advice for guys is 1) don't try to act over-confident aka "this woman don't phase me" because you may read as arrogant /"turn off" 2) try not to say "I feel intimidated", just try to relax yourself. The things TO DO are to be nice, try to make the dating experience enjoyable for both parties and keep it moving.

  • Guest

    If you're a man and you're okay with your woman making more money than you, you're a loser. Plain and simple.

    • Ja9

      Seems like you’re stuck in the 50s along with that tired “you’re a loser” comment. Seriously, what is your problem? YOU sir, must have been intimidated or discouraged by a woman who made more than you. Sad really. So what if she makes more than you, I’m sure that’s a clear sign that you don’t deserve a “go getter” woman anyway. I suppose you want her barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen as well? What a sad exscuse for the men of the 2013-2014 years. Real men shouldn’t have a problem with women making more money than them. As long as both parties are getting paychecks, it shouldn’t matter. Twice the income is better anyway.

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