An Anecdote Of A Sloppy Cheater

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**the following is a cautionary tale**

The other day, I was talking to a guy who said he’s been “off his game” lately.  I wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about at first, but the more he talked, I started to understand where his story was going.  One of the first rules of working we learn is that we should *never* let our personal issues affect our job performance.  After listening to what my coworker had to share, that isn’t always possible.

See, ol’ boy and his wife are expecting another child.  This isn’t necessarily cause for concern because people receive that kind of news everyday.  The part that is cause for concern is he’s expecting another kid with another woman as well.  If you’re like me, the first thing I thought was, “…the hell?  How is that possible?  I mean, I know how, but still…”

All he could do was throw his hands up, and look off like he didn’t know how he got where he was, or what he was going. Luckily, I stay with a poker face. While looking for the right words to tell him, I was thinking how sloppy, and careless, he had to be to find himself in the present situation.

This isn’t a “being judgmental” situation, either.  Whatever actions and decisions people make are just that, theirs.  I asked him how he got into it, how long had he known about the pregnancy, and what he was going to do.  The first thing he told me was how the other woman lived in his building.  Before I could point out the obvious, he knew the first mistake he made was choosing a woman in close proximity to his home.  His second mistake was having unprotected sex with the woman.  I asked him if this other woman was currently in a relationship.  To his knowledge, she was, but hadn’t been having sex for a couple of months, at least according to her.

See the pattern of carelessness?

However his situation plays out, there’s a chance he’ll be living a double life at best, and lose his family at the worst.  Yet, when a attractive woman walks by, he seems to forget his dilemma and prepares laying the groundwork for the same issue to happen again.  It makes me wonder, do he, and other serial cheaters ever get tired of it?

The initial answer is “probably not”.  The stress of trying to keep one person happy is enough for most.  Multiply that by another person, with their quirks, personality, feelings, likes and dislikes, and it seems continuously cheating isn’t worth the stress.  Sure, most men people swear they don’t develop feelings based on sexing someone.  As a man, I’ll say that  that’s bull.  The majority of men are affected by it because we’re not all a$$*****s.  Nevertheless, while I won’t say cheating is harmless.  I will say if you, or anybody else plans on doing it, be smart.

 

Are you, or do you know people have been a sloppy cheater?  Do ya have any war stories?

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  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

    Be good or be good at it

  • payne well

    I've got this thing called "life", that stresses me out, I can't add cheating to that list. LOL! BUT! If you are going to cheat make sure you cheat with someone who has as much as you to lose. Never cheat with someone single, cause they will ruin your life if they become salty.
    My recent post Practice what you preach!

  • Bree

    I have a cowrker who has 2 daughters who are the same age (literally less than a week apart) by 2 different women. They both just had birthdays.
    Basically he was in a relationship with 1 woman and the ex came back and they had one last "hoorah"
    He went back and forth with which woman he wanted to be with. He found out both were pregnant at the same time. He let the ex remain an ex and stayed with the woman he was dating. Somehow they all get along and its working out pretty good for him. Both girls are very close and spend a lot of time together which I think is great.

  • cynicaloptmst81

    The only thing I know for sure is that women are better at cheating, LOL. I don't know any women that have been caught…all but one told on themselves. Men? They stay getting caught…STAY getting caught!!!

    • http://singleblackmale.org MR 2 cents ($0.02)

      @cynical, LOL stop it!!! Anyone who thinks women are better cheaters is delusional! Just in this story alone the sidechick who possibly has a man is now going to have no choice but to come clean…since shes now pregnant LOL. #cheating fail…err….disaster LOL
      My recent post The Corleone Theory: What The Godfather Can Teach You About Every Man You’ll Ever Meet

      • cynicaloptmst81

        LMBO! People of both sexes slip up, yes.

        But, I stand by my statement. Checking the stats from my surroundings, what I said is what it is.

        And, also, based on the stats from my surroundings, she has a choice. There are several men out here raising other people's children UNAWARE. Its not cool or cute and I CERTAINLY don't recommend it, but the truth is that she has a choice.

        • http://singleblackmale.org MR 2 cents ($0.02)

          @cynical, yeah true the sidechick does have a choice(s)! Abortion,or maybe even possibly trying to pass the child off as her man's baby. But if i recall correctly in the story the sidechick claimed to not have had sex in a minute so passing it off as her man is very unlikely,….but it doesnt matter because this is a big mess *politically correct*.."inconvenience" LOL.

          As for women being the better cheaters…that's a lie. Now I am not aware of ur surroundings or the people in your surroundings but women are just as sloppy as men when it comes to cheating..if not more!! Women always seem to think us men don't notice changes in our women,rather it be their routines,physical appearance,personality changes(very secretive) or wuteva it may be,but we do notice it! Men just won't do things like checking a woman's phone,emails,asking detailed questions or snooping around her car,purse or in her drawer. Women always involve their best friends name a lot when the sudden increase of "going out" starts to happen LOL….dead giveaway! But at the end of the day people will always do what they're gonna do…that's life. #just don't be messy. **K Michelle voice**…"its just so messsy" LOL
          My recent post The Corleone Theory: What The Godfather Can Teach You About Every Man You’ll Ever Meet

        • cynicaloptmst81

          You seem to be describing the woman who WANTS to be caught, lol.

          The best way to cheat is to tell the truth. False sense of openness wins every time. You NEVER change your schedule or flow. Fit it into your routine. Call your boo BEFORE you dip out…so that they have no reason to hit you up during. Keep your phone on silent as the STANDARD and no alarms sound off. Stay off social media. Never at your house (or his house). Next town over is better. Tell as few people as humanly possible (including girfriends). Delete everything. Don't exchange pictures. Plus, this usually occurs when the rela is falling apart…so you're already distant and not talking.

          …and most men are too arrogant to even believe that their loyal, loving angel would risk losing his fabulous self to cheat (this is the MAIN reason women get away with it, btw, LOL). Silly rabbit…

          …Very messy, indeed! I stand by my statements, LOL!

        • http://singleblackmale.org MR 2 cents ($0.02)

          Lmao!! Ur funny ms @cynical.

          "Most men are too arrogant to believe that their loyal,loving angel would risk losing his fabulous self to cheat"….wrong!! Fact is most men have cheated with a so called "good girl" so we are very aware that even our good girl can possibly be cheating.

          All of those precautions u say women take when cheating will eventually be taken less once she becomes comfortable…(I speak from experience).

          For the record the silent phone trick definitely is what gets women caught the most LOL. If your man calls u & u miss his call,or it takes u a minute to return his call a couple of times when he knows u are available to answer…is a dead giveaway LOL. The old "my phone was in my purse",."I didn't hear my phone ring" or wuteva lame excuse women try in this situation is picked up by men very quickly…we just don't say anything at 1st LOL. #equally sloppy LOL. Lots of men who grow up with sisters in the household see all the devious ways of women very early!!
          My recent post The Corleone Theory: What The Godfather Can Teach You About Every Man You’ll Ever Meet

        • cynicaloptmst81

          LOL…I still stand by my statement. And I've had too many men ADMIT that this arrogance is problematic.

          "All of those precautions u say women take when cheating will eventually be taken less once she becomes comfortable…(I speak from experience)." – Cheaters never prosper in the end, so I get this. UNLESS, they follow the rule to keep flings brief. By doing that, some cheaters will take it to the grave, LOL.

          Ah…and your last para reminds me of something I left out. Keep it within an hour. Whatever you're gonna do…do it in an hour unless you have specifically carved out time for more. Calls returned beyond an hour are questioned…sooner, not so much.

        • http://singleblackmale.org MR 2 cents ($0.02)

          LOL @cynical. I can see u writing a book about this!!

          @ms cynical presents: "ways to avoid being caught when cheating..for women" lmao!! #top 10 bestsellers list LOL.

          Have a great day lady…thanks for the healthy morning debate LOL!!
          My recent post The Corleone Theory: What The Godfather Can Teach You About Every Man You’ll Ever Meet

        • cynicaloptmst81

          LMBO! Oh, I could NEVER promote such shenanigans! It's bad enough that I've typed out strategies here, smh. I can't even listen to the song "As We Lay" without fussing, LOL.

          No prob at all, lol. T'was fun! You do the same! :-)

        • WellEnuff

          You sound like me when advising my friends lol. If only they would listen to my every word they'd be… well you! Cheating is very easy to do without getting caught, you just need good time management skills and the ability to tell half truths with a straight face.

        • cynicaloptmst81

          "Cheating is very easy to do without getting caught, you just need good time management skills and the ability to tell half truths with a straight face."

          Exactly. A scary truth, but it's the truth.

        • Southerngyrl_

          I have definitely never understood the arrogance thing. "She loves me too much to do that". Okay buddy.

        • cynicaloptmst81

          Lance in The Best Man…

          LOL!

    • Uncle Ray

      I know women who been caught… Sloppy dudes got them caught. lol.

      • cynicaloptmst81

        LMBO! See what I'm saying? If the dude wouldn't have been sloppy, erything would've been gravy!

        …I hate that I'm talking like this, btw. But, truth is always more important than my personal stances. Cheating is just not OK with me. When I wanna cheat, I leave. Period.

    • Bree

      Cyn that is the Truth.com
      They never properly cover their tracks.

  • NigaQueen

    Women are better cheaters. Not that it's ok to cheat. Fact is Fact.

  • Peter Parker

    Yeah I will admit I have cheated before in the past and got caught 60% of the time. The thing with cheating is that you have to put a lot of effort into not getting caught which at this point in my life, it's not even worth it. I feel sorry for the dude in this story because I was thinking is this 2 hour session worth 18 years of child support with a side chick?? Ummm no! lol

    • Dr. J

      60%… good lord. You cheat like DeMarcus Jordan shoots free throws.

  • Dr. J

    Ain't no country for a sloppy cheater, you will get caught. I don't believe in cheating, so the only thing I can compare to this would be casually dating. The most important thing to do there is to be honest and don't overcommit.

    • Bree

      Dr. J does you don't believe in cheating mean you never ever in your life cheated on a woman ever?

      • Dr. J

        Nope. That's not my steeze. I would just be single.

  • Everclear05

    @Cynical, it's not that women are better cheaters its the fact they're cheating with men. When the average women purses a man in a relationship. It's because she wants to replace the wife or girlfriend. That woman observes how that man cares and provides for his current partner and she wants that. So the man ends up having to provide for 2 households which is expensive and time consuming leading to him getting caught. Also the side chick will get tired of her position and try to get rid of the girlfriend/wife by exposing the cheating man.

    Men that mess with women in relationships are usually in it for sex. The women in relationships that cheat just want attention, affection, and good sex. So for the single man he gets free sex with limited effort he doesn't have to provide financially for this woman at all , because the boyfriend/husband already does. As a single man all we have to do is pay her some attention and lay pipe. That's a win/win situation for any single guy.

    • cynicaloptmst81

      Basically saying, dude ain't trying to blow up her spot like a side-chick would. *nods* I def think this is an important factor.

      Point taken…

  • http://glippost.wordpress.com DarrkGable

    The more troublesome part though is he still seemingly doesn't care to change his ways. At some point 1+1+1= busted windshields and child support, but I digress. In a broader sense, perhaps it's more to the arrogance factor in the equation than previously thought…
    My recent post When Trusting God Is All You Can Do…

  • http://twitter.com/jtSolBroSupreme @jtSolBroSupreme

    It ain't what you do, its how you do it, it ain't what you chew, its how you chew it.__NUFF SAID. LOL

  • http://www.opinionatedmale.com cortonio

    I think as a whole women are smarter and more conniving when it comes to cheating than men. Don't get me wrong they caught up to, but I think men get caught up more. However, not that I condone it but if you are you not only have to be smart but use common sense period. Especially of you have a lot to lose. Tiger Woods wasn't smart, he lost a lot and it took him a while to recover. Steve Mc Nair (god rest his soul) also wasn't smart about his transgressions and he lost his life for it. Sometimes that "playa playa" mentality just doesn't work, if you're not happy just be out of the relationship before you get caught up and end up in a bad situation. Period.
    My recent post Dear Hip Hop, We Hardly Knew Ye

  • https://www.facebook.com/raphelcars.michel Michel Kelvin