Home Around the Web 5 Things To Say If You Get Caught Cheating

5 Things To Say If You Get Caught Cheating

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Let’s face it, getting caught with ya pants down is basically like stepping in the dog’s business; it stinks, it’s gonna be messy, and there’s really no clean way out of it. But onto every sidewalk, some sh*t happens. To all those caught in the crap, you probably won’t be able to save the shoe, but here are a few napkins till you can get to another ho(se).

1. Begging (The Jimmy Swaggart defense)

Find something in your life that she didn’t know about and leeeeean on it; My dog died, my mom called me ugly, a mosquito bit me, whatever. If there’s a chance that you can tug at her heartstrings DO IT. Sure it’s a little grimey, but this is survival. Alls fair in love and war dammit.

2. Play Offense (The Female Defense)

When you corner a female, she puts the argument in the spin cycle by hitting you with reasons why your beef is your fault. What’s good for the goose is good for the gangster. Nothing distracts from a set of raggedy draws like pointing out a few holes in a different pair.

3. Minimalism (The Eddie Murphy/Raw Defense)

The objective here is to make this seem like the most insignificant thing on the face of the Earth. While doing so, try to avoid the “she meant NOTHING to me,” “I don’t care about her” clichés, while implying JUST that. Play it off, “Yes I f*cked her… but I MAKE LOVE to you.”



[Read the final two at Urban Daily]

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Comment(15)

  1. Word on the street is you don't stop till you get a nut?? I don't know how effective it will be in this case but it's possible how one's persistence and overaching will to conquer via ACTION instead of VERBAL confrontation could help change the outcome of the situation, slightly…Kinda…Maybe…Worst case scenario jump out the window and say "It wasn't me"…

    Recent Post: http://www.theurbanbeaux.blogspot.com "Straight Juice: NO CHASER 'Mental Toughness 3'"

  2. Yes my ex tried that, note the word EX…..2 months later, he's still begging to come back…"Naw why you calling me homie? CALL YO FACEBOOK HOES YOU WERE SO DESPERATE TO TALK TO!"

  3. I like how the title says 5 but there are three. Look like if I read to the end I'd have gotten it.

    I would include the Sisqó defense – just outright denial.

    My recent post Happy July 4th

  4. there will never be a shortage of women OR men. if you get caught cheating, just find someone else. variety is the spice of life.

  5. Um, why cheat in the first place? And you'll be the first one whining that "women always take it out on the next man what the last man did." Just like 12 Point Buck Said, there's never a shortage of women or men. Why stay where you're not happy, or tell someone you want to be in a committed relationship with them when you know you're not done playing? At least the self-professed players are keeping it real and not telling ladies lies that they're the one and only. Why waste someone's time if you don't want to be true with them? This is that bullsh!t.

  6. AND we wonder why our young black children have such a skewed view of what a healthy relationship between a man and a woman is……..is being a master at covering up cheating and lies a legacy we want to pass down to future generations?

  7. yo if you literally get caught, no speculation, no rumor, nothing just flat out she saw you, just let it blow over a couple days. If you keep chasing at her to forgive you chances are she may not. After a couple days when you do finally get in contact you gotta put out all stops and if you have to shed a crocodile tear or four do that too Most of all just be truly honest of why you did it, and if it's a legit reason that can be fixed you may be good. Don't try to be "playa playa" and act like you don't care. Just my humble opinion
    My recent post Is Your Manhood In Check? Things That Make A Man Look Weak

  8. I think that modern society has painted two false pictures: 1) That men have the monopoly on cheating. 2) That cheating is the end-all-be-all, worst act one can commit. Till we are ready to have a grown up conversation about it, then it will just be more of the same.

  9. lol none of these would work on me. I would just leave if I caught my man cheating. I'm not willing to stay with someone that's careless with my feelings. Having relationship shouldn't be put over being happy. smh

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