Sometimes it’s the guy’s fault why relationships and dating go wrong. So our friends over at ThoughtCatalog put together a list of ’10 Things Guys Need to Stop Doing in Their Dating Lives’:
1. Pretending they’re “into you” just to get you “into” bed.
Men tend to operate under this misapprehension that the only way to get someone to have sex with you is to trick them, playing very elaborate games that even Jigsaw would say is too much. To get a girl to sleep with you, you need to treat her poorly and lower herself esteem to such a point that her only recourse is to bone you — and suck your dick if she wants to live. But the thing is: Girls know that trick. They’re not stupid. They know all the games, and they want to get laid as much as you do. However, they’re more likely to do that (and feel good about it) when you’re up front about what you want. They aren’t all flowers and sunshine and marriage. They’re DTF, but not Down To Get Disrespected.
Want to get laid? Be cool and be honest. That’s the panty-dropper right there.
2. Bullying people into messaging them back on OKCupid.
My roommate, God love her, is wading through the sea of misery that is online dating. Although OKCupid has its hidden treasures — I met my last ex there — it has its share of guys you could never see yourself dating. And that’s okay. There will be someone out there for them. However, the guys you have zero interest in never seem to take a hint. They’ll message you and then message you again when they don’t hear back. And then follow up by berating you, complaining about what a “nice guy” they are and what a “bitch” you are. Trust me, dude. If you have to qualify yourself as a nice guy, you’re not that nice, and if you were truly a good human being, you’d take the hint and leave the poor girl alone. She doesn’t want her muffin buttered by you. You can go shave your back now.
3. Making up excuses for why they didn’t call.
If you weren’t into it, you weren’t. That’s cool. A human being with any sort of objective outlook on dating expects that there will be those guys who flake out on a second date — either because they were just looking for sex in the first place or they weren’t interested in a second one. If you have never had this happen to you, your snatch must be made of gold and your face carved by angels. I don’t know about that life. But those of us who have know the guy will always offer an excuse that involves a) being busy at work b) having life drama c) a dead family member or d) being dead yourself. However, you don’t have to kill anyone off to be nice about it. Just be up front that it didn’t work for you. It’s not the end of the world, and I’m sure your very alive father will appreciate not being murdered just because you’re a lying prick who can’t communicate.
4. Lying about wanting a relationship if they don’t.
There’s always room to figure out what you want out of your dating life — to see someone while you’re figuring out where this is going. Not every relationship is the same and your needs from each person you see might be very different. But there’s a difference between “dating grey area” and “not knowing what we are to each other” and overtly leading someone on. Are you just getting out of a relationship and need some single time to just be casual? Then it’s best not to go on a bunch of escalatingly intimate dates before you let someone know that. One of the most important things in a relationship is to be with someone who gets where you’re at right now, and you can’t do that if you’re giving them what you think they want: a boyfriend. The only way to find out what they want is to communicate — and ask.
5. Expecting other people to be perfect.
Too many guys have this skewed vision of what their mates are like — as if a partner is this magical creature who can change them, the Manic Pixie Dream Angel who floats down from heaven. However, your partner isn’t a motherfucking unicorn, and if they are, they’re a unicorn that poops, farts, cries, has human emotions and pukes when they are sick. They feel all the same things that you do, and they aren’t perfect. It’s bullshit like this that allows guys to categorize anyone as “crazy” for doing something they don’t like. Expecting you to be on time? Crazy. Wanting you to listen to their bullshit too? Crazy. Hoping they can actually share the not-nice parts of themselves without you bailing at the first sign of trouble? So fucking crazy.
[Read the rest over at ThoughtCatalog]