Until today who knew the importance of a “mom friend” or exactly what a “mom friend” was anyway? Over at Men, Myself, and God, Patia Braithwaite tells us about this woman’s importance and the great experiences you could potentially be missing out on, if you don’t have one. Here are a Few of the Reasons Every Single Woman Should Have a Mom Friend:
3. Being around kids gives you an excuse to act like one.
Jump around, play tag, antagonize the kid…chances are you will push the limits of acceptable ‘acting like a kid’ behavior several times, and your mom friend will give you a withering mom-glance. This means you’ve gone too far and you’re annoying everyone around you. Take it down a notch otherwise this mom might stop being your friend.
4. Mom friends have (limited but adequate) patience and empathy for your tantrums.
I’m going to tell you guys a secret: I’m a bit of a diva. I have, what I call, lady tantrums. I get upset. I don’t want to do things. I ball my fists, sit down on the floor, and refuse to move. My mom friend looks at me with her mom eyes, puts her arms around me and says, “P, GET IT THE F*CK TOGETHER.” Only, she uses firm and loving mom-speak. Maybe she says, “it’s time to be a big girl, Patty.” I dunno what she says, but when she uses soft mom tones and firm glances, I stop crying, I get up, and I get it the f*ck together. It’s like magic.
5. Mom friends have deep wisdom that comes from, you know, having real problems (i.e. you’re boyfriend drama isn’t important when their kid just projectile vomited on the monkey bars).
See #4. Moms can tell you firmly to shut up because, well, they have real problems. And, even in the height of our woes and despair, we don’t have to keep a human being alive. So we know, at the end of the day, we’re full of shit. Mom friends never come out and say this, but when they tell you that you need to relax – they’re automatically credible.
6. You get to watch something someone grow without being responsible for it.
My favorite thing to do is wax poetic about how big my friend’s kid is getting. The kid will burp or raise a seemingly sound objection, and I’ll be all: OMGSHEHASANOPINION How CUUUUUTE! Then I launch into a diatribe about how we are all souls on an infinite journey and we’re infinitely wise, blah blah blah. I suspect it’s much easier to do this when you don’t have to actually keep the kid from swallowing paint chips something.
7. Kids are really f*cking funny and smart.
KID: P, are you sick?
ME: Yeah…I don’t feel good.
KID: I used to be sick…
ME: Yeah, I heard. What’d you do?
KID: I turned five.
KID: (pulls my hair)
KID: (smacks me on the back)
ME: Hmmmm…let’s play a game. Whatever you do to me, I’ll do back to you. Deal?
KID: (quietly) Okay, how about I hug you…
[Learn more about mom friends at Men, Myself, and God]