Divisive Conversation: Men And Paying For Sex

man holding money

Last week an old classmate of mine wanted to know something about us men. She really wanted to know why guy’s were so interested in going to strip clubs. This young lady is not a fan of that industry and saw those who participated in it as lowly. So for this week’s post I was very excited to share my love for strip clubs with you all!! Then it dawned on me that this particular subject has been thoroughly discussed on SBM a few times. So today, I wanted to discuss a different perspective.

During my conversation with my former classmate, she went on to say that men who patronize strip clubs are paying for sex. I was taken aback. For many men the phrase “paying for sex” is verbal heresy. Many of us do not want to be put in that bubble. There are a few reasons why men dig strip clubs that have nothing to do with sex.

Technique – Men enjoy a stripper who can really dance and make use of her blessings. Women who can’t dance don’t make any tips. Women who don’t interact don’t make any tips.

Aesthetics - Guys simply enjoy the beauty of women. Many beautiful women in one place and they aren’t even covered? What’s not to like?! For many men this doesn’t get old. It’s what makes every time feel like the first time; I promise.

Environment - Men love the strip club environment because they know for a fact everyone there is there for a good time. There can’t be too much beef with lovely ladies just walking around. These ladies are cordial even if they’re just doing their thing, it’s a cool feeling.

Bonding - It’s a nice getaway for us guys to just have some fun. To be honest with you all, sometimes laser tag won’t cut it.

Of the reasons listed, none say that we’re paying for sex. I had to take into account that this young lady I spoke with had never truly been to a strip club. Her idea has been skewed by certain strippers who she may know (or heard) of. She thought there’s nothing but animals in strip clubs. To her, every man in there was trying to take a stripper home. I can’t say that isn’t sometimes the case, but it’s definitely the exception; not the rule.

Under her vague definition of paying for sex, I told her that means any money men spent on a woman was paying for sex. She went into a mini-diatribe about how this is why dating has been compromised because of that thought process. I agreed with her in a sense. Dating shouldn’t always be considered paying for sex if you have greater plans for someone in your life. I was only being a devil’s advocate because I thought her ideas left her closed to opposing opinions. To me, that’s just not healthy.

I wanted to ask everyone today if you thought men are always paying for sex? I can see how someone would think so. But thinking that way devalues the quality of the courting process. Even though I’m 1000% sure, no Maury, that I would definitely want to sleep with a woman I’m courting, I would also want us to be more than just good f*ck buddies. So, a more thought out answer for myself is that some men pay for sex and some men invest in futures. Whichever a man’s end goal, some of the activities he uses to achieve it might actually be the same – dinner, movies, spa days, etc. His intentions, not his actions, summarize his expectations.

What are your thoughts? Are men ultimately always paying for sex? Are you cool with strip clubs? Can you let us rock and let us be great? Alright you don’t have to answer that last one. Have a great day.

These are my words and I make no apologies.

DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM. His bio: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS 

“Damn He Got A Point” (My Column) http://viralstatus.com/category/kahlilhaywood/ 

 

 

From Our Partners

  • http://twelvepointbuck.tumblr.com/ 12 Point Buck

    If you break it down far enough, both men and women pay for sex. You bought some condoms? You pay for birth control? You pay for your gas to get you to her place? You pay for your computer speakers or stereo so you can play your "booty mix" to set the mood? You eat food for energy? All of these contribute to you getting some sex.

  • Young Heaux

    If you feel you're paying for sex when dating, you probably have some whack azz game. Women just want a good time. A broke n****a can provide a woman with a good time if his game is tight. If not, yeah, you might just be paying for extra stuff to compensate.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

      like men really date nd court for more reasons than sex, if it really was just about sex theres clearly the strip clubs or “escorts” you can just pay for, if i take you out and all you can think about is how im plotting on them vickies, you seriously need a reality check

      • http://twelvepointbuck.tumblr.com/ 12 Point Buck

        I've always thought the argument "if you just want sex, get a hooker/escort" wasnt really a good one. Sure I might just want sex, but even sex is more than just a warm wet hole to pump. Its often about power, challenge, and achieving a goal. Getting an escort kinda takes the fun out of it.

        You ever see a lion get fed in a zoo? You'd think he'd be happy to get food without having to hunt it. But its the opposite; without being able to exercise the "killing instinct" he's actually suffering.

        Same thing with sex– if you just "give" it to me, its not as fun. I want to hunt a ho, kill the cat, sleep soundly, then fukkin feast on the leftovers in the morning. All the stages involved with it have something unique and substantial about them that you don't get if you just pay an escort.

        • https://www.facebook.com/courtney.banks.37 Courtney Banks

          therein lies the problem. Women are not and should not be treated like an animal in the wild, waiting to be hunted.

        • http://www.OpinionatedMale.com Mr SoBo

          Right. As soon as we forget that women prefer their men to be proactive and socially aggressive when it comes to courtship, you know, sort of like a animal hunting its intended prey.
          Although we walk upright, lets not forget that we are animals too. With closer examination at our social interactions, you will see we don't operate so differently from animals in the wild.

          My recent post If Women Need To Know Just Ask (Pt 2): 10 Questions Women Ask Men

    • http://Singleblackmale.com MR 2 CENTS ($0.02)

      @ young heaux, I hear u, but even the man with lots of “game ” may still end up spending money for food & drinks when dating. The only way a man doesn’t spend money is if he has the women to come to his place & then they just sit & talk all the time lol. But us fellas know that in order for most women to say she had a ” good time”,more than likely we’ll be spending some type of money lol. It is…what it is!!

  • WellEnuff

    Are men ultimately always paying for sex?

    I think we men do pay for sex when dating in time and money . To me men are paying for a "drama free" interaction with a woman in a strip club or other adult facility. There's no commitment or need to satisfy anyone else, no expectations other than payment, and NO NAGGING! I never understood why men did this until I got older and realized the value of non-stressful interactions. IMO, this is why you hear about married men stepping out on their better looking wives and girlfriends.

    Are you cool with strip clubs?

    Not my cup of tea, but to each his own.

  • langwichartz

    I will start with two famous sayings in regards to this topic:

    “Men ALWAYS pay for it, either one way or another”!

    “You don’t pay a woman to come, you pay them to leave”!

    Now I’m not an advocate for strip clubs, I don’t judge those who do patronize them. I have a hard time seeing the flawed logic in repeatedly giving my hard-earned money just to watch a woman gyrate in front of me naked. My philosophy is that I would rather spend that same money on a GF/CB/wife/ etc. that way I can get something out of the deal than just an erection! At least with pr0n I only have to pay for it once…the gift that keeps on giving! rofl!!!!

  • langwichartz

    Had no idea my original comment would be considered controversial and need to be approved…considering the topic. lol

  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

    Silly backwards logic, nothing in this world is free. Its Reed Richards reaching to say than men pay for sex because if i invite a ladyfriend over and shes filling that tank and on her way, is she paying for my services?

  • http://www.lifeisablast.org payne well

    If you want to break it down to a crude simpistic logic, sure. However, Dating isn't simplistic. If it was, we wouldnt have 9,000 different opinions on it. Just think of the actual act of paying for s*x (a prostitute). You don't care about her life, and she's not going to tell you about it. She does what she does because she already knows what you want. She's not gonna talk to you much (unless you like that stuff). Then she leaves when it's over and you wont hear from her again, unless you become a frequent customer. Most dates that we have been on has many more factors and moving pieces and in the end there's a good chance she wont give you any.

    Strip Clubs? I love them!!!!!!!! I call it, "donating to the arts".
    My recent post You were meant for me and I was meant for you: The importance of compatibility

    • http://Singleblackmale.com MR 2 CENTS ($0.02)

      @payne, lol u cool with strip clubs huh ?? Lol heyyyy now!! Funny thing is more women are in the strip clubs than men. Women come and hang with the fellas likes it nothing lol,and hopefully pick up some pointers from the dancers lol

      • http://www.lifeisablast.org payne well

        oh yeah! I even practice pole dancing on the side as a workout. Would I ever be a stripper, but I give them props for doing the art. I have no problem going to a strip club and even buy him a dance while we are at it. YOLO! lol

        • Amicus

          I'd like to understand what you get from going to strip clubs. And from paying for him to have a dance while the two of you are there. Do you think men look at you more favorably b/c you go? Also, if you have so much admiration for strippers who do the art – why would you never be one?
          My recent post Are You OK With Your BF Frequenting Strip Clubs?

        • http://www.lifeisablast.org payne well

          Sure! I wouldn't be in the strip clubs every week with my man, but for a birthday or once a year, sure. I would trust that my man isn't swayed by a stripper to cheat. If a man cheats on you just because he sees females baring their bodies and seductively dancing, then that's not a man you should be with. As long as his time, money, heart, body belongs to me, if he gets excited by seeing other women, that doesn't bother me in the least. If he's out celebrating a boys' event or what not, that's fine as well. The concern for women is when he's spending 1/3 of his pay check every month at the club.

          My recent post You were meant for me and I was meant for you: The importance of compatibility

        • http://www.lifeisablast.org payne well

          I don't go for male acceptance, because he's going to feel the way he feels about me regardless of if I go or not. I can't make a man feel amor towards me or any type of romantic feeling towards me. I go because I like the actual art of pole dancing. Not so much the shaking and flapping their booties up and down. But the pole tricks that they perform. It takes strenght and skill and talent. I like to see what they do and then see if I can learn it at home.______I wouldn't become a stripper because I want to be married one day and don't want tons of men coming to my mate and describing to him how I make it clap. I would prefer not to be a stripper. People have their reasoning in becoming one and I am not going to rain on their parade because they chose to be. It's a personal preference for everyone. However, I do take pole classes and would happily be my man's favorite Lap Dancer. :)

        • Peter Parker

          Payne, whatever man gets you he will be one lucky dude!! I hate when women say, i will never go or this and that. I am not a strip club man myself, but for my birthday or just to do something random why not let's go together. It's a great sign when a woman is open to going and here in DC most of the strip clubs are full with women anyways…

        • paynewell

          lol I just like to try new things. i can't say its my second home or anything but something about the work they do on the pole is fascinating!
          My recent post You were meant for me and I was meant for you: The importance of compatibility

        • Amicus

          OK. I was under the impression that you loved!!!! strip clubs, which to me meant that your trips there with your guy weren't a once a year sort of thing.

          Also, if there's nothing wrong with stripping IYO, then what's wrong with people coming up to your husband and telling him how great you are at it?

          I'm not trying to be argumentative, but saying you wouldn't want your future husband to have to hear other men describe your technique sounds again, like you actually *do* have some negative perceptions about stripping, that you're just not admitting to.

          My recent post Proverbs 31: A Life Worth Living?

        • paynewell

          I guess loved!!! Was a strong word, but from the ones I have gone too, I had a fun time. We often read about how men like to think their woman hasn't been around the block. My father taught me that a man likes a woman who either has no past, or it's not something that can come and bite him in the butt later. It's how some men think. Although I don't agree with it, it stuck out in my mind. there are plenty of things that I would not mind doing but I think about the consequences of my actions, which is why I do not do certain activities. It's not necessarily that *I* have a negative perception about stripping, but the fact that there *ARE* negative perceptions about it. I guess what it comes down to is reality. In a perfect world I would want a man to take me based on my current life and the person I am. In this world a lot of men like to know that his right here is his and that he doesn't have to worry about every man giving him a play by play of his girl. You are not argumentative at all! Its no prob! I read your blog about going to a strip club, so I don't mind delving into :)
          My recent post You were meant for me and I was meant for you: The importance of compatibility

        • Amicus

          Hmm, I just asked myself whether I would strip if there were absolutely no consequences and you know, I think I might! I mean, I rented a hotel room and did it for my husband on V-day this year, and it was great! I had to drink quite a bit to get over all of my nerves, but I'm clearly not against stripping & dancing for arousal purposes.

          So I guess for me too, it's the consequences that make me against strip clubs. I wrote below & in my blog about what I think some of the consequences are. In short, I think it's more than the social stigma associated with stripping that makes me not want to be a stripper or pay a stripper to dance.

          In a perfect world I think I'm OK with our hurtful actions having consequences. I think that kind of Karma keeps us evolving spiritually, physically, mentally & emotionally in a positive direction.
          My recent post Proverbs 31: A Life Worth Living?

        • Amicus

          Hmm, I just asked myself whether I would strip if there were absolutely no consequences and you know, I think I might! I mean, I rented a hotel room and did it for my husband on V-day this year, and it was great! I had to drink quite a bit to get over all of my nerves, but I'm clearly not against stripping & dancing for arousal purposes.

          So I guess for me too, it's the consequences that make me against strip clubs. I wrote below & in my blog about what I think some of the consequences are. In short, I think it's more than the social stigma associated with stripping that makes me not want to be a stripper or pay a stripper to dance.

          In a perfect world I think I'm OK with our hurtful actions having consequences. I think that kind of Karma keeps us evolving spiritually, physically, mentally & emotionally in a positive direction.
          My recent post Proverbs 31: A Life Worth Living?

        • paynewell

          I concur! Its a complex situation. I do not believe that everything is black and white, but shades of gray. I am with you with everything you said in your blog about how it can desensitize certain men's view of women and I agree with everything you said! Morals are important and as well as responsibility to self and others. You are on the right track and I agreed with your post greatly! I guess it's hard to just be 100% because there are so many variables. But girl I took pole dancing classes just for my partner to see, and my ex loved it! I Something about the confidence and the control that guys like. Go fig! lol Keep dancing girl! for your husband of course! :)
          My recent post You were meant for me and I was meant for you: The importance of compatibility

  • DeKeLa

    Strip Clubs? They are alright with me.. I have been (many) a few times and always bring along a few ladies to broaden their horizon and learn a few things.

    Like someone said above, it's a stress free sitiation that ironically has NOTHING to do with sex. It's art, it's entertainment, it's FUN. If any ladies here haven't tried it, let me be your gatekeeper lol.

    More importantly, it's actually cheaper than going to the club!!! (Guys know what I mean)

  • DeKeLa

    Regarding paying for sex…. let me flip the script.

    If I'm 'paying for sex'…. are you being paid to sleep with me?

    The answer to the latter, is the answer to the first.

    • http://twitter.com/DamnPOPS @DamnPOPS

      Interesting

    • SageRearden

      That's not always the case. If a guy takes a woman out on a date, buy's drinks, food, tickets for an event, picks her up, and drops her off (gas is expensive so that has to be factored in); how are men being paid to sleep with her. The only payment he's getting is the cheeks on checks on cheeks.

      • DeKeLa

        If I'm out with the lady for night, am I not also eating, drinking, traveling to the night's event and taking myself home? I'm sharing an activity with someone, which has nothing to do with sex.

        If I give her $50 to give me 15mins in the backseat… that's a transaction.

  • Peter Parker

    Strip clubs are cool. I go on special occasions or just if I am in the mood. It's better to go with a female friend or companion. Me personally, I prefer to go when I know afterwards I can get it in with my gf or significant other.

  • Uncle Hugh, BP

    "Are men ultimately always paying for sex?"

    Ultimately yes; you have to pay to play. But life is about spending money, it's not a big deal.

    "Are you cool with strip clubs?"

    I'm not big on window shopping, but that's just me.

  • Larry

    "Are men ultimately always paying for sex?"

    In the literal sense as in paying for a service? Obviously ,no. (as in no not always). But in the indirect, transitive property aspect of it then sure.

    I'm not a big strip club guy. I'll go if invited for an occastion or that's what a larger group I'm with wanted to do and I'll have a good time, but I won't be the one suggesting we or just go on my own off G.P.

  • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com/ madscientist7

    i've been to strip clubs 3 times in my life (twice for a bachelor party) and i can't say that i enjoyed myself. i don't knock men or women who frequent them but i can think of way better things to do with my time and money. especially something that i could get for free.
    My recent post Marriage for All…

  • http://www.blacklatinafabulous.com Maris

    Are men ultimately always paying for sex?

    - If s*x is the only thing you want, then yes. Although I find it highly offensive to only be considered a commodity and my parts being price-able, I can’t act like there aren’t some men that think that way. To them, I hope your next date is with a 3rd degree black-belted gold-digger. If you’re pricing parts, be prepared to pay.

    Are you cool with strip clubs?

    - Yep. Unless he’s a weekly consumer and we’re in a serious relationship. I’m not jealous persay, I’m just going to have a sit-down about your financial priorities. While I understand the appeal of stress-free interactions, please remember your @ss is no cake-walk to deal with, either.

  • http://www.lifeisablast.org payne well

    At a high level simplistic view of life, isn't the majority of what we do for s*x?

    If this was a world full of women, make up wouldn't be needed, hair would be completed on a need-to-be-done basis, and granny panties would be the norm.

    If it was a world full of men, guys would play video games constantly. Money? How often do men care about what other men think in regards to their pay? Burping and farting would be done regardless of time of day or location of the person.

    The majority of the things we do is for s*x, if you give it a simplistic, high level view.
    My recent post You were meant for me and I was meant for you: The importance of compatibility

  • http://glippost.wordpress.com DarrkGable

    The lazy argument is, “yes, men are always paying for sex.” However, as someone commented earlier this week, or last week on a different post, it’s all based on perception.

    I could easily say that dating was an investment, or I could say the money men spend has to be thought of as a gift; not expected to be returned. In each example, how the money and situation is thought of “colors” how we respond to it.

  • High_Five_Ghost

    …like old folks pissin’, I guess it all depends – Kanye West

    If I’m out with “Loose Lois”,…fa sho (I’m paying for sex)via the simplest point of view). But, I was aware of it when I asked her out, I was aware of it when I paid for that baseball game ticket and expensive ass beer and I’ll be very aware of it when it’s time to lay her down. “Loose Lois” may be loose, but she shows well ,ain’t a complete idiot and can hold a conversation. (My loose women requirements)

    Conversely, if I’m out with “Future Wife Felicia”, I’m probably waaay more interested in her company and I’ll gladly pay a few bucks for that very company. As it turns out, most men think less about sex when it’s someone that they REALLY like.

    As for the “shake joint”, ,personally, Id drop more time and money on “Loose Lois”, but to each his own.

    But, hey, it’s a shake joint….what’s not to like about that.

  • Amicus

    I've never been to a strip club. If I went, I'd prolly have to be very drunk to have fun. Mostly b/c I don't think it's a harmless pursuit. I'm fascinated by the women who do go to strip clubs, though. Especially those who go with their men, and claim to just *love* seeing him relax & enjoy himself with another woman grinding in his lap. I can't imagine being in love with a man and also being OK with that. @ SBM, I would like to see a post from the perspective of a woman that loves the club.

    I'll happily write the opposing view. lol.
    My recent post Are You OK With Your BF Frequenting Strip Clubs?

  • http://twitter.com/DamnPOPS @DamnPOPS

    You should go at least once to really see how you feel, it might be converse to how you feel currently. You can speak with even more conviction then. You might enjoy it but never make it a habit of yours which is all good any which way.

    • Amicus

      I'm close friends with a few strippers and a floormate I had in college worked her way through school as a prostitute, so I have heard & lived through some heartbreaking stories about paying for sex and sexual arousal. I also have a few girlfriends that go with their men and plenty of guys like you explaining to me all the wonders I'll find at the club. In the end, I'm relatively certain strip clubs are exciting places to go to, and if I let myself I would have a lot of fun.

      For me though, I think that fun comes at too high a cost. It's not an obvious physical cost, which is why most people just choose to ignore it. But it's there nevertheless. Letting men pay you to take off your clothes for their arousal is terribly damaging to a woman's emotional, spiritual and mental well-being. There's a rush of power for her in the beginning b/c, as you said, men find women beautiful and are willing to pay for that beauty. BUT, in the end the money she gets for the show is not valuable enough to equal a fair exchange. Consequently, she's going to feel used & cheap.

      I know all this is my opinion, but I talk to women everyday who feel this way. Not just my two ex-dancer friends, but also women who sleep with men casually. And even some who get into committed relationships that are emotionally one sided. In exchange for that beauty you crave, she needs you to give her love. Anything less will leave her feeling empty & cheated.

      So, it's not that I think they won't be fun. It's that I'm morally opposed to the types of exchanges that go on there.
      My recent post Are You OK With Your BF Frequenting Strip Clubs?

      • http://twitter.com/DamnPOPS @DamnPOPS

        Now I can dig that, thank you darling.

  • J. Crawford

    "If I'm out with the lady for night, am I not also eating, drinking, traveling to the night's event and taking myself home? I'm sharing an activity with someone, which has nothing to do with sex.

    If I give her $50 to give me 15mins in the backseat… that's a transaction."<<<< THIS.IS.IT. End of Story and Discussion. I swear this topic just makes Men look like Fiends that can do Everything NOT based on Sex but it's Meaningless unless we Getting some Nani…… GTFOHWTBS

    I can go to a movie, dinner, the beach, the park, and Any Other Place and Activity Solo- I'm Not Embarrassed or Scared a Day for Uno/Moi/Me, but a Date is either 1) Time for Romantic-Intimate Companionship or 2) Casual Company with Another Person that One has Similar Interests With.

    This isn't a Faustian Quest for Ultimate Knowledge >_<

  • langwichartz

    Last I checked, cex was a mutually agreed and beneficial (mostly) activity. I feel any lady placing a material value on her ladyparts, is practicing prostitution whether directly or indirectly. Fix your faces ladies, I do agree that you should value your bodies, however I do not cosign on the notion that I can EARN your booty! Your sex should be given gracefully and willingly just because you want to PERIOD!!! It's a gift just like my peen, I don't barter with you to see whether you deserve it, I make a rational decision that you can get it. Courtship is about earning respect, loyalty, devotion, etc., cex is about two (or more) individuals deciding to partake in a physical stimulating activity. So the wining and dining and all that other jazz is to build camaraderie, if it determines whether we will hit the sack, I would much rather you tell me your price so I can make a decision to trick off or not. Anything less would be uncivilized!!!

    The committee for improving understanding approves this message.

  • http://whatyouallow.com/ Wildflower

    I dont care about my man going to the the strip club as long as he is going for entertainment purposes only. As far as paying for sex through dates, I can see that.
    My recent post Sleeping With The Enemy

  • SeenItBefore

    Are men ultimately always paying for sex?
    OLD GUY WRITING HERE: No. Men are not ultimately paying for sex unless your shallow and don't care about the person your with. Truth is adults know things cost. Eating out cost. Going to concerts cost. Going to clubs cost. If money is the issue why not go dutch? If the woman cares about you then it's not a problem. If you do decide to spend money on a woman look at as a gift not a down payment. Woman can sense when a man truly cares about them or not. Besides SEX is over rated. When you get old enough you'll understand the best sex you can have is when your in love!!
    Are you cool with strip clubs?
    No. MONEY PIT-PERIOD. $10-30 to get in. $10-18 for mixed drinks! Can't sit next to stage unless you tip dancers! Lap dance $25 for a song! VIP ROOM- Just to rub up on some young woman that I could be her father. $150 15 mins, $200 30 mins and $300 45 mins (N.Y. Prices – Dolls Gentleman Club, Mid town).The atmosphere is the same in any strip joint it's all about money and sex. No thanks-been there done it- not impressed.

  • http://www.opinionatedmale.com cortonio

    Like my boy once told me even if you take a girl out and buy her a turkey sandwich you still paying for some pu$$y..
    My recent post If Women Need To Know Just Ask (Pt 2): 10 Questions Women Ask Men

  • http://www.OpinionatedMale.com Mr SoBo

    Even if all you do is pay a woman attention, you're still paying for sex. Its unavoidable no matter how you dice it. Sex is never truly free for anyone.

    My recent post If Women Need To Know Just Ask (Pt 2): 10 Questions Women Ask Men

  • http://Www.wordpress.com/aceliburd Aaronteed

    No men are not paying for sex. We are paying for dinner and whatever else because we wanted to take you out. After about 27 you realize as man your only going to meet quality women if your in quality places and cheapness is not how I want to be treated so I don’t treat people that way. Escort’s are real and I have known people who have used them. That is paying for sex. Guy’s paying for date’s is not paying for sex cause if he doesn’t ask you out again. That would mean he returned the meal he was about to eat.

  • Es Sully

    This one right here is gonna get you in some trouble…lol…let me start by saying that I am grateful to God that my man HATES strip clubs and thinks its a waste of time, money and just sad (thank you Lord). I am very sensitive when it comes to women exploiting themselves, or allowing themselves to be exploited by others, for the pleasure of men. It's a psychological trick in its pure essence. You think that you're maximizing your skills for income, but unlike other service industries who have set sexual harrassment policies to protect its employees, you have very few things in place to keep you as a valued employee: you're disposable, money is not handed as a direct deposit check but being thrown at you so you can scramble for it after a dance (dogs to fetch or beggars)….and worst of all you are exposing and using (exposing) your private and prized goodies to strangers, day in and out. Yes, you ARE that B***H. In every sense of how you're being regarded or referred to in that place. I can care less about what other men do with their money…I'm more concerned about how what my ladies (especially my Black Queens) are willing to accept in the name of making a living…..good read.

  • ToniCHIRAQ

    Only simps do this. I paid for the first date because I asked her out. Now,we pick up food,but tickets and it’s whoever. I guess when were still dating I wanted some and would do anything,but she was being protective of the goods and I liked that. I didn’t say “Imma take her here” that’s where simps mess up. Dong something for the P and getting upset when she doesn’t bite. My momma told me to do things from my heart,but don’t let no woman take advantage of you. When I was in school I would pick her some bubblegum or something like that up because she loves gum. She would light up just from some damn gum. I was dumbfounded,but then on the phone she told her girls that I was thoughtful. So,it was the thought that counted. I must say her friends helped alot. They encouraged me NOT to buy flowers,but something we both could use. So,instead of gettin $40 flowers I bought her a gift card to the movies and she was like…you’be been talking to my friends huh? When she went into the city she would get my a platter of chick fil a for the game and I would share it with my friends. That tit for tact shit gets nigs in trouble and women see it.