For whatever reason, I’ve often found the explanations behind why women cheat to be far more sophisticated than why men cheat. So, when I saw that the “experts” over at COSMO had parsed the reasons down to a simple list of five, I decided to take a read. My three favorite are below.
1. Going Through A Transition
“If it is graduating, turning a certain age, losing a parent or advancing the relationship status, women become introspective,” explains Lee. “Even if it is something she wants, such as just getting engaged or graduating, the transition can stir up an array of emotions about where her life is going or where she is in it. The discomfort of change can trigger an impulsive desire to find someone to take her focus off the change and be a diversion for what she is going through.”
2. Not Feeling Adequately Celebrated
We’ve all been here: “May it be getting a promotion, organizing a fundraiser, or making Thanksgiving dinner for a party of 20, men often make the misstep of “not complimenting their partner’s achievements,” Lee says. “Women seek an emotional connection that their partner notices them, is proud of their achievements, and appreciates what they do, so when they aren’t getting this at home the residual effects lead to feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, depression, and restlessness.”
And that’s when they could go looking for it elsewhere. “When you are living in the day to day with someone, it is challenging to step outside a situation and notice the things that do matter to someone,” adds Lee “As this wears down over time, so as soon as the woman encounters someone who ignites the spark they are lacking at home, they equate it to an emotional connection and seek companionship with someone else.”
5. It’s Boring In The Bedroom
Men aren’t the only ones who need to spice things up. “Women need to feel desired!” Lee declares. “If she is not getting any, enough, or nothing to talk about, women start to feel a sexual void. With the popularity of books such as Fifty Shades of Grey, television shows, or listening to friends talk about their fun single trysts, women have that moment when they compare their love life at home to what the rest of the world seems to be experiencing.” And that’s when she may start to wonder what she’s missing.
“Though it is easy to pinpoint the flaws in one’s sex life, it is often hard to make the changes needed to correct them,” adds Lee. “This creates a temptation in women to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere with someone they don’t have the baggage with and can be more uninhibited.”
Read more at [Cosmopolitan.com]
We all know why men cheat, or at least we all should because I told you why here, but I think there’s still some confusion about why women cheat and the frequency of women cheating – for the record, it’s a rising amount. Equality for the win!
A brief personal breakdown:
- Reason #1 is one of the many reasons why I gave up dating women under 23, but that’s neither here nor there.
- Reason #2 is something I admittedly struggle with, which surprises many people considering I write, professionally and personally, for a living. Yes, I’m good with words. Emotional verbalization and appreciation? Not so much. I’m still a man or at least that’s the convenient excuse I prefer to use. Couple this with the fact that I don’t believe in “chasing” and you have someone who’s not to keen on complimenting women in general. I rant about this on Twitter all the time – and with movements like #TheThirst in full effect – complimenting women in 2013 has gone the way of krumping in the club, extinct. Therefore, when I’m finally in a relationship, I have to consciously remember to remind my fine woman that she is still fine to me – not because I’ve forgotten that she’s fine, but because her fine-ness is so natural to me, like the rising of the sun, it seems hardly worth mentioning since it is so self-evident. Basically, I’m not big on stating the obvious, but sometimes even obvious statements go along way, especially if they’re appreciative in nature.
- Reason #5 I hear this a lot, from both sexes. However, it seems a bit strange to say your sex life is boring and your solution for that problem is to explore sex with someone other than the person you’re having the boring sex with. Such a solution, at best, seems temporary, unless you plan on remaining unfaithful forever. I’ve had men – college educated, fairly functional men – look me dead in my optic stems and tell me, “I can’t do that with the wife/misses/main (or whatever you kids are calling your wives/girlfriends/mistresses these days).” While I’ve always found this reasoning quite stupid for more years than I can remember, I honestly didn’t realize it was a plight shared by women. I won’t sit (write) here before you, and pretend to be an angel whom has never been with a woman whom I knew was in a relationship; however, I assumed she was cheating due to any number of reasons that I never thought to attribute to her simply wanting to be “more uninhibited.” Strangely enough, although I’m sure they wouldn’t use the words “more uninhibited,” this is the exact same reasoning many men give for their infidelities. Go figure.
As a man, I’m going to recognize my own limitations on this particular topic and turn it over to the experts, the women.
Ladies, how accurate is this list? What’s left off? Is there anything that’s completely wrong? Which of the five is the most important for men to keep in mind to keep their woman happy and faithful?
Fellas, are these reasons much different than the ones you’ve used (or heard…from a friend…obviously) for why men cheat?