5 Things Men Do that Women Hate, but Tolerate Because They Care

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Last week, I became the public advocate for all men who don’t want to speak for themselves. I explained a few things that women do that can drive us crazy but we tolerate. Needless to say, we had a great discussion on here, and everyone got a better understanding of our small plight with the women folk. I also got a bunch of you people (WOMEN!!) hitting me on the side with a laundry list of things men do that annoy them. Of course it was long winded, like women naturally are *ducks*, but it was informative. I did say at the end of my post I was going to write this up, correct? Well, needless to say the help I received was appreciated. With that said, here are 5 things men do that women hate, but tolerate because they care:

Leaving The Toilet Seat Up

I grew up with at least 3 women in the household at any given time. I have been indoctrinated to be hypersensitive to a woman’s daily plight. This includes keeping the toilet seat down at all costs. I’ve heard the reasons why this is so necessary, such as “We don’t want to fall in!” and “It should be down naturally there’s no reason to leave it up”. Maybe I’m being insensitive when I use my logic, but wouldn’t you always look before you sit? You look before you sit in regular chairs, where the consequence isn’t a cesspool laced dunk in muddy waters. Why wouldn’t you be cautious of sitting down on a toilet? Regardless of my astonishment over women’s lack of depth perception in restrooms, I adhere to your code. There are times where men will forget this rule and leave the seat up, and I swear it’s not malicious. The same way women can be oblivious to an erect toilet seat, men can be oblivious to placing it in its original position. This is important to you and you scold men for it, but you let it go after a while, and eventually men get it right. Hey, just be happy most of us will wipe that seat after going 2-30 from the field shooting!

Poor Conversing Skills

I actually got two great quotes from women on this that I want to share:

Women are considered more emotional only because we’re louder. Men are just the same, they just internalize better, but it’s not always better. When tensions rise, most often times women just want to talk it out, have resolution. Not talking about knock down drag out fights, but men tend to go quiet when we need to talk the most. We tolerate it because it’s all about balance. We know that maybe we should work on processing better.

and:

Being quiet during arguments…smh! I deal because I’ve learned that he really just ran out of shit to say. Sometimes it is better to come back to an argument when cooler heads can prevail.

Well, damn!

I will say that men fall silent, not because we don’t have anything else to say. We may fall silent because what we have to say will lead to 85 more minutes of needless conversation that will end up at the same destination: Us saying sorry and that we will do better. If men are passionate about the topic, they will converse with you till the cows come home. More often than not, a problem may not be that serious to them, and the silence or the always dreadful “OK”, is our way of doing this in a debate:

gaaVlA5

Acting Like Children

I got responses from a good number of women. This theme was represented in about 90% of the responses. I was shocked and appalled (not really) but this was interesting. Among the common complaints were the following:

1) Men turning into 5 year old children when sick. They act like Clark Kent after someone drops Kryptonite in his champagne, HEOENO.

2)Men don’t know how to clean up after themselves consistently once they get in a relationship. They leave their stuff around the house and expect it to magically be in order upon their return.

3)Men don’t offer to clean up anything, and assume the women will handle it, and know that women don’t want to be around filth so they will make it happen.

My retort: #SO?

Seriously, I can’t fight the fact that most men revert back to infancy when we are sick. It’s natural to want to be comforted in those tough times. Besides, y’all love it, so stop fronting. The cleaning aspects seem to be consistent with women who live with these men or are in their living spaces often. There may be some truth to this, but I can say that if you create a behavioral pattern of assisted cleanliness, you can’t get mad at men for following the rules of the road. You tolerate it, but if you want it to change either speak up or don’t clean. Unless son is a complete slob, things will shape up soon. Men do need help at times being tuned into women’s feelings, so offering to do certain things may not come as easily to us as it does to women. Keep that in mind, and the woman ability to “strongly suggest” things should be effective here too.

White Lies For No Reason

Women have dealt with this phenomenon ever since Eve offered Adam that apple and when God asked why they ate the forbidden fruit, Adam replied “I don’t know no f*ckin Kiyana!” Men will lie about the stupidest shit, and you guys will know the whole time. We will tell you that we’re down the block when we haven’t left the store yet. We will tell you that we only have $20 in our pockets right after coming from an ATM. Women tolerate this for a few reasons. For one, you can probably tell the difference between a stupid lie and a serious lie, so you don’t stress our nonsense. Secondly, you know that many times we try to avoid an argument that will lead to more frustration (as outlined above), or we try to protect your feelings. Women can and will get bent out of shape over little stuff. Men recognize this and will embellish a bit just to keep the peace. Our parents did it to us, friends do it, we all do it until you say “be honest”, “keep it real” or “I won’t get mad”. Then it’s all downhill, I think.

Bros Before Hoes

Another good reader quote:

Totally get that friends are forever. Women need their girl time too. But the extent to which men extol their bromances over romances can be quite irritating. We tolerate it because when men finally realize that their friends won’t keep them warm at night, harmony is reached. Plus, when all the friends come together it really takes friendship to another level. Men just have to make sure their friends respect their girl just as much as they do.

Agreed. I will say though that a man’s friends are cherished for life because they will be there regardless. If you two don’t work out, that same friend will be there, so there’s something to be said for striking the proper balance. Men should NEVER neglect a GIRLFRIEND for their real friends and vice versa. If y’all just f*ckin / light dating / having sex on-demand, then don’t expect to be that high on the totem poll. There’s levels to the type of friends you have and you have to recognize that accordingly.

Women also don’t understand why you’ll hold certain friends down till the end, will lie for them, bail them out, and hold them in the highest regard. Well, we don’t understand a lot about you, so just rock with this, OK?

Fellas, I didn’t know we were such headaches to our female counterparts! Trust when I say I could’ve made this a list of 20, but I wanted to be fair (to MEN) and keep it at five.

We all have friends, loved ones, and significant others that do dumb shit that pisses us off to no avail. However, since we care about you, it’s forgiven. “Man, you was who you was ‘fore you got here,” so we take you as is with hopes that you’ll make attempts to correct the little annoying things. Remember that it could always be worse. I’m allergic to drama, as are most of you, so appreciate your friends of the opposite sex that have minor annoying qualities but major value to your life.

Streetz

Discuss. Debate. D’enjoy!

Updated 10/4/13 @ 9:30am

As promised, here are 20 more things men do that annoy women sent in by YOU the readers:

1. Double book yourself. You know we have plans yet you forgot you had this “other” thing.

2. Answering calls or talking on the phone during quality or chillin’ time.

3. Lack of affection.

4. Updating your social media before hitting me back.

5. Not paying attention to the “little things” or not reading in between the lines.

6. Not switching it up during sex…in other words, having the same type of sex every time.

7. Getting too comfortable and so comfortable that you don’t initiate going out.

8. No eye contact. Looking away while talking.

9. Updating Social Media during conversations.

10. Not returning “the favor” but always expecting “the favor.”

11. Continuing the same behavior or not changing the behavior we had 1,2,3,4,5,6 talks about but then annoyed that we have so many talks.

12. Not being chivalrous.

13. Flipping it during arguments or disagreements when you are in the wrong.

14. Not putting thoughts into our plans and leaving the decisions up to me.

15. Avoiding @’ing me on Twitter.

16. Not Texting or calling back quickly enough.

17. Not asking about my day even after I let you vent about yours.

18. Not saying Thank you or Please.

19. Letting too much time pass in between us seeing each other.

20. Not wanting to try new things sexually.

SHEESH! hahaha

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From Our Partners

  • http://thesexysinglemommy.net Sexy Single Mommy

    OMG!! YES! YES! YES! You are on point with all of these. #2, 4, 5 are especially my pet peeves. Great post!
    My recent post You Gave Him The Cookie & Now You’re In Love? KNOCK IT OFF, GIRL!

  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

    lol at D’enjoy

    1. look before you leap, like are women backing into it…i’ll never know.
    2. when im quiet im usually thinking about what i dont want to say whether its a can of worms i dont wanna open or just saying to myself omg shut uuuuuuuuuup
    3. im a neat guy but if im sick i wanna lay on bewb and be pampered and never actually go to sleep because then you’re off the hook
    4 white lies establish credible incredibility, once labeled a “bad liar” suddenly everything yu say because believable….the irony.
    5. .i dont think i ever put friends over a boopiece, moreso for my own space and time which may or may not include the fellas

  • LasGidi

    1. I'm with you, Streetz. I feel like many women complain about the toilet seat being up for reasons they don't know…They just heard the line and went with the flow. Personally, I prefer the seat up.

    2. I mean…I talk enough for the both of us; one of us has to be the better listener in this relationship. The way I see it, as long as you a) understand the problem b) actually think about what I'm saying, and c) convey your ideas as articulately as possible, then you can say as little as you want, then keep quiet. I like when my boyfriend takes me seriously…but I gotta admit, I often dread the times when he REALLY wants to talk about something. Like, my mouth gets parched.

    3. Can't front. I love it. I do. Gives me a chance to be a Superwoman/Angel #JudgeMeIfYouWant.

    4 is real. White lies, Lies by omission, "I just didn't tell you because…" "Oh that?" Death to all of 'em.

    My man isn't bad with 5, but that's probably because we're in an LDR and he realizes that following certain bro code rules will do massive damage.

    One thing I can add to the list though, is the random putting foot down. I would appreciate if there was more consistency in when y'all decide to get your King Mufasa on. You weren't upset about me doing blah blah just last week, and now you insist on an apology and a discussion about it. Oy vey.

  • Uncle Hugh, BP

    Those are great quotes under Poor Conversing Skills. It's true that we are quieter, but as (whomever) wrote, we're internalizing it. We are coming up with a solution in our mind, then will present verbally when we have it. Women want to talk it out and come up with a solution together. Three reasons generally sum up our silence:

    1. We are thinking about the issue.
    2. We don't want to drag the conversation out longer than necessary.
    3. We take care in saying something once in a very specific manner, to make sure what we said is interpreted appropriately.

    Regarding the toilet seat, I don't get it. How do you not look? What happens if the lid is also down (which I usually do)? Do you just pee on the lid, or go crashing through it?

    I can't relate to the other three, unless I have a bad stomachache. Then Uncle Hugh turns into Lil' Hugh.

    • amaris79

      It's a metaphor, and a silly one. Apparently if you leave the seat up it means you never think of the other person in your life. I have yet though, to meet a woman who puts the seat UP after she uses it, sooo…..
      My recent post Out & About; BLF at the Launch of Eva Mendes for New York & Company!

      • Uncle Hugh, BP

        I put the seat and lid down. I'm not sure why, maybe I somewhat subconsciously think that's the default position for the toilet seat when not in use. #shrug

        • amaris79

          I mean..it IS more civilized, but if I had to choose between a "good look" and an un-sprinkled toilet seat I'll just put the damn seat down when we have company.

          HOWEVER, it should be noted that the mist that is brought up into the air when you flush an uncovered toilet can and will settle on your toothbrush if it is nearby.

          My recent post Out & About; BLF at the Launch of Eva Mendes for New York & Company!

        • uNk

          and there goes my toilet seat habit…

        • Uncle Hugh, BP

          amaris79: "HOWEVER, it should be noted that the mist that is brought up into the air when you flush an uncovered toilet can and will settle on your toothbrush if it is nearby."

          Which is why I keep my toothbrush in the mirror cabinet. #monk

          And you're right. Sprinkles are only good on doughnuts.

      • High_Five_Ghost

        aaaahhh….refreshing!!!

  • Bree

    These are more serious and on a different level but it's Hump Day and I feel like goin there so….
    My list is things women accept and tolerate just to keep a man in their bed, house, and life:
    1. Unecessarily chasing after, pursuing and sweating men
    2. Having painful or bad sex when they really don't want to ( This can fall under Streetz list)
    3. Doing sexual dirty things that they really don't want to do (like having sex with a man when he's all dirty and sweaty. Although that can fall under Streetz list.)
    4. Allowing him to have a mistress or an affair and acting like they don't know it's happening.

  • High_Five_Ghost

    #1Toilet seat: Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I rhyme slow & sometimes I rhyme quick…and I won’t be fussed at for either.

    #2 Arguing: Ladies, your arguments are usually circular or get WAY off the original point. Internally we’re handling it in a variety of ways. Possible(s)…
    1. OMG STFU!!
    2. This is a total turn-on.
    3. I miss Tecmo Bowl.
    4. How’d we get on curtains, I thought this was about going to that co-ed baby shower?
    5. IDK…maybe I was wrong.
    6. try not to smirk, she'll just get madder.
    7. wait 'til she's done…..then just say…"ok".

    • uNk

      6. "oh…oh, so you think the shxt funny? Im hurting inside nd you laughing at me? ok"

  • High_Five_Ghost

    #3 “like children”: I’m quick to take your hot wing box o’ bones to the trash first. (just so you know I ain’t playing ‘bout my clean house) I’ve caught a few attitudes from women ‘cause I want to be left alone when I’m sick. I’ll take my own temp….thank you. Why are you here? You wanna be sick too?

    #4 “white lies”: They’re more strategic than y’all think. Example. I'll lie first about how tired (sick) I am before she fusses that there’s only 10 rolls of toilet paper vs. the 30 she needs for the wknd.

    #5 Bros b4 hoes… depends (variable horny-ness rules). Bros b4 women…RARELY.

  • Bree

    Guys I know act like kids in a different way than what is described on Streetz list.
    They're more immature in their thinking and how to conduct themselves in relationships.
    I really don't know any guys who are about that trif life and not clean and who don't at the very least, pick up after themselves. All the guys I've dated have been and are clean. They're not the neatest and tidiest, but they are clean. Homie don't play that.

  • Slim Jackson

    White lies are a necessary evil.lol. Not that I have any first hand experience with them of course?

    See what I mean?
    My recent post The Power of Referrals is Real. Get Familiar. (Seriously)

    • Bree

      *side-eye* @ Slim…..mmmhhhhmmm…..yeah ok. suuuuure. :)

  • amaris79

    LOL.

    Everything I learned about toilet seats from living with women I un-learned after living in a house full of men. Leave that seat down at your peril, I guarantEEEE it has been rained on. Teenage boys will either leave it up all the time or leave it down-pick your poison. Up is the default.
    My recent post Out & About; BLF at the Launch of Eva Mendes for New York & Company!

  • uNk

    At the sick thing, Pshh All the manly deeds I do while im not sick.I have been told tho I am the woooooorst person to take care of. Ill call your name for just about anything…"can you brush my hair and put my du rag on?" #ButImSickThoBabe lol

  • http://www.opinionatedmale.com cortonio

    Snoring, I'm not sure if it's a top 5 but I know women personally who hate it.
    My recent post Dress To Impress: What’s Up With Black Men In Hollywood?

  • Imani

    I dont like the toilet seat being kept up because I dont want to have to touch the underside of it, if I didnt put it there to begin with. Ish is gross.

  • Uit

    #1. I look at EVERY toilet before I sit on it. But it still stuns how big a deal it is for a dude to put the seat back down. I mean it took like 1 second to put it up. #1 is mostly annoying when you're making that 3 am break as a woman.

    #2. I don't wanna talk all the time but I when I do I definitely want some participation. So speak up or pick a topic.

    #3. OMG. And it yes fun but only the first time I take your temperature, tuck you in, I make you chicken noodle soup and feed it to you. After that maternal instincts have evaporated into annoyance. #GYAU#GOYA

    #4. Idk. If it's like a your mom's roast was juicy when it was really dry as a desert…ok. But if you telling lies we all at the club and you were really at your boy's house all night is gonna raise flags to me.

    #5. Friends are important so yeah a balance needs to found. But I feel like more serious the relationship gets the more the friendship takes back seat to relationship which I totally understand cuz her man is gonna give things I ain't. His friends should get that too.

  • rhenewal

    10, 11 and 19! The rest of the stuff is irritating but I deal. Those, I don't deal well with at all.

  • http://twitter.com/HelloMocha @HelloMocha

    I don't give a flying f*ck about a toilet seat. How we deal and communicate with each other when it comes to dating, courting, "seeing each other," and marriage has changed so much…toilet seats? Nah! They are the least of my worries when it comes to the opposite sex but I do appreciate it being down when I go visit the rest room. If it isn't, I put it down but I don't think I've ever brought that up in a convo or even blinked it I found it up. But that's just me. Definitely not on my "'we need to talk" or 500 things I hate but tolerate list.

  • http://twitter.com/HelloMocha @HelloMocha

    One thing I hate but tolerate…me having to do the follow-up when it comes to plans that are still on the table. That can only leave me to assume that: A. You don't want to go, B. You don't want to go, or C. It's not something that peaks your interest enough for you to even remember to follow-up. Nowadays guys say it's cool if women initiate plans and etc. But we don't want to do it all the time, nor do we want to be the ones to always ask if we are going or not. The goal is to be together right? But if it feels like work or pulling teeth…then the excitement can quickly leave while resentment rolls right on in.

  • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000980986674 Donald Jeanlewis Jr.

    It's all about communication, and if you can't communicate, reevaluate the relationship.