Why Some Women Have Sex When They Don’t Want To

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A lot of women who are married or are in monogamous relationships will often say that their man wants to have sex more frequently than they feel like it. The result is that a lot of women end up having sex even when they don’t want to. Below are some reasons that women end up rolling in the hay even when they don’t want to:

1. They understand that relationships are give and take – Let’s face it, most men who watch “chick flicks” with their wives and girlfriends typically don’t do it because that’s what they have been looking forward to all week. It is more likely that they do it because they care about her and will tolerate a “chick flick” here and there or will occasionally go shoe shopping with her because that’s what she wants. The same goes for the ladies; even when she is not in the mood for a little “nooky”, she might go along just because she wants to put a smile on her man’s face.

2. They are afraid of losing their man - The truth is that not every woman is completely secure in their relationship and even if they are, maybe their man is not completely trustworthy. Some women will do the do a little more often than they would like because they are afraid their man will get his needs met somewhere else or he will leave and try to find someone more compatible in the bedroom.

3. It’s an exchange – Some women like nice comfortable lives and there are men who will spend large amounts of money on their woman if she keeps him happy in the bedroom. These women value comfort and security and as long as they feel comfortable and well provided for, they will keep giving their man what he needs in the bedroom, even during the times that they don’t really feel like it

4. It doesn’t take that long – Actual sex really doesn’t have to take that long so sometimes it may just be easier to say yes and just do it, rather than say no and risk hurting your man’s feelings.

At the end of the day, you might find that even if you started out reluctant, you still end up enjoying yourself! As long as you make the choice and are not forced into the act, having sex when you you initially didn’t want to may turn out to be just what you needed.

[Originally published here]

Have you ever had sex when you didn’t feel like it to please your partner? Fellas, is this compromise just exclusive to women? 

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From Our Partners

  • amaris79

    YES.
    Although I'm still a bit sore (pause) about the fact that if the guy doesn't want chex, chex will not happen on that occasion. So it does at times feel like a one-sided compromise. Also, society has led us to believe that regular chex is all a man needs to be "happy" in a relationship, so sometimes women feel they are getting the short end of the stick because his " basic needs" have been met but not hers. And then there's that pesky "foreplay sliding scale" as the relationship progresses over time, but Imma leave that alone, lol. I should've just stopped at "yes". Carry on!

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  • http://Singleblackmale.com MR 2 CENTS ($0.02)

    Us men do this also!! If we’re not in the mood and she wants it,it’s just easier to pull it out and let her hop on lol. That keeps down any foolishness that may cross a woman’s mind if Her man turns her down..ie cheating!

  • paynewell

    Fellas, is this compromise just exclusive to women?

    I'm not a fella, last time I checked, however, I have a story. There was a time when I was just so into my ex and we had been busy all day, but i really want some. He told me that he wanted me so bad but he's sooo tired. But through persistence and hardwork, i got my way. Sometimes you have to take an L for the team. Now if someone is going through a serious life issue, then no, no one is taking L's. Isn't that what life is about? Sometimes having to do things you don't want? (i.e work, pick up kids late from practice, keep telling your mom why you don't have a man, etc)
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    • http://www.franklyspoke.blogspot.com Paul B.

      No, it's not exclusive to women. Sometimes we just want to go to sleep, too. Contrary to stereotypes, men don't think about chex every eight seconds, and even if we did, there's plenty of other stuff we have to think about too. (At least the men with jobs and responsibilities).

      What uNk said is spot on, too.
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  • uNk

    Ive been tired before, but its not really that i dont want chex. I just dont have the energy to put in 80% of the work i usually have to put in. By all means if you can get em up, hop on top and I can make it work, you can make it twerk lol. The problem is that women will want some when we tired, then pull the swindle and have us going beast mode while you put in approximately no work for something you wanted in the first place. Now you satisfied and im even more tired lol smh

  • Rashawn

    Well my answer is simple, this woman needs sex just as much as he does. I find that in the beginning I may not feel up to a full night but I can provide both of us with pleasure that will make sure our nights and days are sexually peaceful.

  • keepinitreal

    Number 3 is the worst position to be in as woman….to feel you have to do it becomes a chore because a man is providing for you. I've been in that situation (unfortunately)….and that is the most depressing and sad situation to be in…that's why I say that all women need to have something going for yourself.

  • krystllyght

    Numbers one and four.

  • Rachel

    Yes, I have had sex even when I didn’t want to just so I could get some sleep after!! The man wouldn’t stop pestering me and he would have gone on all night even though I’d already explained that I was so tired my eyeballs were burning. I was so turned off we had to use a lubricant. I virtually planked the whole time and I was almost asleep by the time he’d done. Thank goodness it didn’t last too long.

  • Nonsenseisjustthat

    These types of articles annoy me severely. As a self-proclaimed feminist, atheist, and uber-liberal 80's baby (dissect as you will), it is sad that women are so often portrayed as either sexless or oversexed. How in the world can we be both? Or are we only one or the other when it is convenient to the man at hand? If you are in a happy and committed relationship with a man why the hell wouldn't you want to get it on with him any given moment? I actually dated an asshole of a douche (not black either, never again) who thought that I wanted it TOO much. Really? How gay was he? I shall never truly know, lol. But once or twice a day is not too much is it? And this was almost two years in. He said things like "oh it gets stale after a while." Well if you're a lazy ass who doesn't believe in role play, or know how to be aggressive when your woman asks for it then perhaps that is your problem. At at twenty something it should not be that hard for you to get it going. Poor choice on my part. I tried to roleplay on Valentine's day and this particular douche told me during foreplay, that it was "too much pressure" as I had purchased a nice lingerie with stockings, garter's and all! Da fuk?! His idea of fun was sodomy and I don't care how liberal or free a person is, that is NASTY ish! I would never as a woman do such a disgrace to myself. That was his kind of fun that he had with non-black women. O_o But the simple request of him grabbing my neck or being a little extra rough was too much for him? Guess that's the crazy non-black for you. (Half white and latin but would tell anyone otherwise).

    Anywho, women who love their men do want it. If they don't want it that much something in the relationship is wrong, or perhaps your love languages are different. But don't believe this nonsense that us women don't want it. Especially us fly ones. I'll be damned! I better get it on the regular, rough and tough, or we aren't gonna be together very long, even if you are Mr. Jay Ellis or Usher. KNOW THIS!

  • Raymond cloud

    with this topic in mind the other thing the report didn't say was when cemical in balance a women may have after sex too may play factor too. some of those parter's may be sick or dont clean as good as the next person. all what we do and eat play a inmportant role on how our body and minds work look into it. too.