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Ten Things To Remember About Love in 2014

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I’m not a big fan of New Year’s posts because I truly don’t believe there’s a difference between the 31st and the 1st of any month. Therefore if you didn’t get a Happy New Year from me on twitter or facebook or any other social media medium, charge it to the game. However, if someone asked me to share thoughts about how I felt about the new year and what it means for your love life, I have a few thoughts. This won’t be a deep post or anything profound, but it should resonate.

Here’s the ten things I want you all to remember about your love life in the two thousand and fourteen:

  1. You’re going to be the bad guy – There’s comes a point in everyone’s life when you realize that in order to be happy you have to realize that you’re going to make some people unhappy. Don’t embrace it but accept it.
  2. You don’t have to do shit – People love to make you think that you have to do something; if it makes you unhappy then it’s something you need to reevaluate. It’s time we started making ourselves happy because that is the only way we can make others happy.
  3. Ain’t nothing new under the sun – All the problems that we think are new to us like the fail of chivalry or the lack of the real man are false. They’re fallacies that make it possible for women or men to accept less than what we should. Realize ain’t nothing new, we’re all just reinventing the same wheel our grandparents rolled.
  4. It’s not that serious – It’s perfectly normal to think that what happened last year was a life changing event, but in reality, it’s not. It’s never that serious, we’re all going to be okay.
  5. Don’t waste time – Life is too short to waste it with someone or something you really don’t want to be with.
  6. If it doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t work for you – Some of us would love to be with someone that does things we don’t like. Let me be the first to tell you, if it ain’t for you, don’t feel bad saying you feel that something else would work better for you.
  7. It’s way better to be single and unhappy, than in a relationship and unhappy – I know plenty of single people and I will tell you one thing, they’re all much happier than the rest of y’all that are in relationships that they don’t want to be in.
  8. By now, we can all agree gender dynamics aren’t going anywhere soon – I hate the fact that a man can do things that women can’t do. I’m also tired of trying to explain that it’s a messed up conundrum to both sexes, let’s just move on.
  9. Your ex still ain’t shit – HOLLA IF YOU HEAR ME! You broke up with them for a reason. Get there, they ain’t shit and you are the shit. Cue DJ Class.
  10. You can try something new, but you can also keep trying at what you think is right – Don’t quit and don’t give in to social norms. If you’ve come up with a great list of things that you think you need in your life don’t sacrifice that because you want a partner. You’ll be just fine sticking to your guns and what works for you.

These are my ten, I’m sure there are more. I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions because I don’t think much can change in two days, but I do think that we can remember that as much as the year changes, a lot of other things don’t change. Cheers and party responsibly.

Note: I apologize to all those who think I am way too old or well versed to still being used “ain’t” but I’m on my worst behavior.



Dr. J This guy has no idea what his position is at SBM.org. He's a well travelled blogger. You can find his work at SingleBlackMale, Necole Bitchie's BitchieLife.com, BuppietheBlog.com, The Book of Jackson, This Is The Dream. He has also published several guest posts at blog all around the blogosphere. He can't spell really good, and grammar isn't his strong suit, but he really appreciates you reading his posts for content, and content only. (I feel very Michael Vick'ish referring to myself in the 3rd Person.)

Comment(16)

  1. Maaaaane!!
    The only thing that would make this list better is if it were read by Dolemite himself!

    and I'll add

    11. Before they come into your house make sure they wipe their feet at the [email protected]!n door!!!!!!

    1. Have kids they're not taking care of and still get someone new pregnant, not get married til they're 40 without there being something wrong with them, smash multiple chicks in a short period of time and still be considered marriage material, be ugly/lazy and still pull pretty/quality women to date, There are some other things there too, but yeah, there are things…

      1. 1. Women do that as well (except they get themselves pregnant)
        2. Why would anyone care what other people think when it comes to that? And on the flip side if a man goes certain period of time without a sexual partner he's either gay or a loser.
        3. Do women really want to be promiscuous without criticism? You do realize you'd have to lower your standards when it came to sex. Not sure if women as a whole would be willing to do that.
        4. A lot of handsome hard working men can't pull quality women, so clearly it's the choices these women are making to be with ugly/lazy dudes.

        My point is Dr. J's comment made male/female relations seem one sided in favor of the male, when they are clearly not. There's pros and cons to both sides. I think most men would give up a limb to have the dating options that a slightly above average looking woman has. Yes, we get the upper hand once we are in a relationship, but I wish women could walk in the average man's shoes (and not your homeboy who is really popular with girls).

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