Show Me The Money: Why Men Use Women For Financial Support

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Dear SBM,

I’m a SBF in my 30s no kids, sweet spirited, pretty face with an overweight but still shapely frame. I have never really had this problem until the past 5 years but it seems every man I meet has been brazen & bold enough to ask me for money, usually within less than 3 months of knowing me. It’s appalling really and an immediate turn off.

I have been blessed enough in life to have only needed to borrow money from my mother and that was only a couple hundred bucks in my 20s. Since then I’ve been in the position to take care of her, which I have no problem doing. But I refuse to take care of a man.

Rephrase that…I refuse to take care of a man who hasn’t been ‘MY’ man for a couple years and who hasn’t shown me any sign of self sufficiency & financial stability. I know people go through hard times but it seems completely desperate & ridiculous for a man to ask a woman who he barely knows for cash.

Is this the state that the black dating scene has come to? I’m sure not only black men do this but I’ve only experienced this from black men. Have they no pride, no shame, no social skills?  One guy had the gall to say that other women who make more money than their men (like J-Lo) don’t have problems giving their man weekly ‘allowances’. The f*ck!

Do they assume because of my age or my single status or my weight that I am in such a desperate state of ‘gotta have a man’ that I would hand over cash that readily?

I think your issue may be one of two things: Either you’re giving off a vibe which lets these guys know you’re gullible, or you are dating wack dudes.

Is It You?

From your opening paragraph, you basically describe yourself as a catch who still seems to have men attempt to take advantage of you. Looks come into play, but I’ve seen model-type women get abused and swindled the same way as women “less desirable” do. So to me, it’s what you project upon those men that make me wonder why they feel so comfortable asking you for money. Are you overly affectionate with them upon your initial dealings? Do you give a lot of yourself early and often? Do you say or do things that trigger in these men that you can be played? I would go back and seriously ask yourself these questions and see what you discover. Ask real close friends that won’t give you PC answers too. Sometimes we need real talk to show us the light.

Is It Them?

If after you perform that self review, you determine that the problem isn’t primarily you, then you have to look at the types of dudes you’re dating. Where are you finding these men that appear to be broke and not worth a damn?! A change in your hunting grounds for men may be in order. If your friends are introducing you to them, disown them (not really). Seriously, you have to increase the quality of dudes that you are dating.

Finally, I take exception to your inference that black men primarily ask women for money when dating (although you state it’s “your experience”). Let’s not label an entire race of men for your troubles. How do you know that only black men can/will do this to you when you don’t state whether or not you date outside your race? If you are only dating black men and they are all doing this to you, then maybe you should expand your dating pool? If it continues to happen, then what?

Who you attract has a lot to do with how you present yourself physically and your personality. In closing, this may be a combination of how you market yourself to men, coupled with a lackluster dating pool. Reassess yourself, and these men, and determine the best course of action.

SBMFam, what do you think? Is it her? Is it Them? Is It both?! Let’s help her out!

StreetZ

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  • Chocolate Vent

    Date older men & you won't have this problem
    My recent post Don’t Get Pregnant In March

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan.

      There's no shortcuts.

    • Bryant G.

      Older men will finagle their way into her pockets….they done played the game. She wont even know it, she will be loaning him 5k for an "investment," only to get zero returns…..

    • http://www.flyandfierce.com/lifestyleblog Sable B.

      Dating older men doesn't guarantee she won't have this problem.
      My recent post Forgiving A Cheater: When Is It Time To End A Relationship?

    • http://www.greaterunderstanding.net Anthony Brian Logan

      that's assuming the older man she wants also wants her back and its also assuming that she wants older men. this right here seems to be a personal problem she has with the type of men she want and/or has the ability to get.
      My recent post IS CAPITALISM HUMANE? [VIDEO]

    • J.Crawford

      "Assumptions are the Mother of all Fcukups"- Plus, with Assume, it makes an Ass out of "You" before "Me" (corny joke but when you thin about it, it Does Make Sense)

      Miss, I'm 26, a Father, with my Own Place, my Own Vehicle, and a Job that pays more than Minium Wage……

      GTFOHWTBS of a comment

  • Gray

    I don’t think we have enough details about her or the guys to make a completely accurate assessment. What I can add is, you can’t fix anyone other than yourself. Do not speak openly about personal finances, credit, etc… it’s too early and they’re getting to know one another but she might be giving too much personal information. I wonder if she’s paying for dates, meals, everything or the majority of things they do together? I wonder if she give others money often and tell the men about it. I don’t understand taking care of a parent…they too can take advantage, but why would she tell anyone about it? It really isn’t anyone’s business.

    I know some book smart people who barely have common sense. She might be a bright over achiever who is financially able to support her and her Mom, but might have questionable common sense. The good thing is her questioning this occurrence. She never states whether she actually gave money to the men, but she needs to make better choices. Dumping a guy whom she feels is using her is a choice. She doesn’t need to worry about others just work on self. Determine what’s acceptable and what isn’t and learn from experiences.

  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan.

    "Who you attract has a lot to do with how you present yourself physically and your personality"

    I'm assuming here, well because duh, but she seems like the type of woman whos perhaps not picky enough, entertains any and whomever tries to holla (I'm assuming social media). She defends herself in a letter a few times which to me says she cares what others think, so even when less than worthy men step to her she gives the benefit of the doubt out of fear of looking too uppity. Asking for money is the turnoff but had she trusted her instincts he would've never even got the 2-3 months in the first place.

    As for men, its not just a BM thing, but men in general are just more vulnerable than ever. Personally, my ego is too big but in this day and age men are much more willing to concede they ain't got it or admit they struggling.
    My recent post Today’s Word is… PHONE

  • Bryant G.

    It seems to me that she has not gotten a lot of dating experience or maybe, Im wrong. What was different leading up to these past five years that have a lot of men hitting up her piggy bank? Something happened leading up to the past five years and thats something she may need to take a close look at… Idk what it could be but she has to start being honest with herself and who she is and what she wants to become and who she wants to add to her life. I sense she may be the only child or eldest or the more responsible one. I can tell because Im the eldest and the go to guy to get things done in my family and trust me when you put others first, it can hinder your developement of self. Put yourself first in the dating scene, as selfish as it may sound, sometimes putting yourself first allows you to see if your Ego and Id can be satiated or at least satisfied by that person of interest.

  • RealTalk

    "As for men, its not just a BM thing, but men in general are just more vulnerable than ever. Personally, my ego is too big but in this day and age men are much more willing to concede they ain't got it or admit they struggling. "

    This encapsulates the problem for men dating in these economic times. And to be fair, it's not completely the men's fault. In the age of social media overload (facebook, instagram, twitter, etc.) where everyone goes out to try to show out and women tacitly demand celebrity treatment, men who admit that they ain't got it like that are virtually handicapping themselves in the dating game. If you, as a man, admit that you're struggling, see if you can talk to a decent-looking girl, let alone a dime-piece. This dating reality is amplified in the big cities (DC, NYC, LA, etc.).

    Obviously the men are not without blame. It's about accountability. Men who don't got it like that or who are struggling economically really need to take a hard look at themselves and know when it's time to sit a few seasons of the dating game out and go through their own rebuilding stages. Whether that means going back to school, getting a better job, or making other tough decisions, less economically-stable (or flat-out broke) men need to avoid placing themselves in situations where they are mooching of other people (esp. women) in the first place. If you can't even afford to take her to Popeye's, stop approaching women, fronting like you can take her to Saison on the regular.

    Don't get me started on the women. All I'll say is that women who don't got it like that for themselves have NO BUSINESS demanding red-carpet, celebrity treatment. And women who are ballin' should be smart enough to not place themselves in positions of being sugar-mamas–especially for dusty a** dudes.

    • DBoySlim

      Now that is some real talk. (See what I did there?)

  • http://www.greaterunderstanding.net Anthony Brian Logan

    I think it's her. It's the type of men she likes then its the type of men she has the ability to get. Single black woman in her 30's with no kids and overweight doesn't seem like something that jumps off the page to me. The above comment says that men should sit out a few seasons and get their paper up before they try and date, I agree. Problem is, when a man comes out of the self-imposed isolation period and improves himself – he won't be going for the aforementioned young lady. He's going to head straight to the top. I think this young lady and everybody else need to do some serious self evaluation to understand who is out of their league, who is beneath them then who is on the same level as them.
    My recent post IS CAPITALISM HUMANE? [VIDEO]

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan.

      Fair point, its politically incorrect to say but most of the people who find themselves used are pursuing people who realistically can do much better
      My recent post Today’s Word is… PHONE

    • amaris79

      I'm curious…what about a Financially independent, Single, Childless, Black Pus-Sized Woman in her 30's doesn't "jump off the page"? Don't we go on and on about "women with kids" on here? She obviously has her stuff together career-wise and has "made good life choices" in terms of "collateral damage" relationship-wise, so what is it that makes her "beneath" her choices? Her weight? If she was everything above but 36-26-36, would it make a difference? I'm genuinely curious here, because she otherwise sounds like a catch.

      • http://www.greaterunderstanding.net Anthony Brian Logan

        At her age, her status is not very uncommon amongst black women.. Those stats would jump off the page if she was younger with all of that going for her, like age 26. I get the feeling she closer to 36. Huge difference there. The physical thing could make a difference but then again every man has his own type.
        My recent post [VIDEO] DR. BEN CARSON SPEAKS AT CPAC 2014

        • amaris79

          Aaahhhhh. I keep forgetting 30 is geriatric on here. Carry on!
          My recent post Black, Latina and Fabulously Natural; How Loving my Hair Taught Me to Love the Rest of Me

        • GirlSixx

          Well damn, I guess I need to go apply for AARP then. #Geesh.

        • http://www.greaterunderstanding.net Anthony Brian Logan

          Its not that over 30 is old it's just that those stats are pretty common amongst black women in their 30's. Not so common for a black woman under 30, which would make it stand out more than what it does now. Big difference between a 26 year old not too far removed from college trying to get things going career wise and a 36 year old who has been graduated from college for a decade and should be full swing into whatever career she decides to do.
          My recent post [VIDEO] DR. BEN CARSON SPEAKS AT CPAC 2014

        • amaris79

          Except…we are so quick to dismiss those things when discussing "potential" in a female partner. "Independence" only matters up to the point of not needing the man to provide for everything, after that it's "your degrees don't mean sh*t when it comes to what I want in a wife". In that case, wouldn't her personality and looks (& for some, lack of offspring) matter?
          My recent post Black, Latina and Fabulously Natural; How Loving my Hair Taught Me to Love the Rest of Me

        • RealTalk

          But @Amaris79, if anything, her being plus-size and over 30 still makes her not the most desirable candidate for being somebody's wife, especially for the type of man she likely has in mind for purposes of dating/settling down.

  • rena215

    I have never had this problem with any man I've dated, black, white, whatever. I have never, in my 30 years, been in a situtation when a man has insisted (or even let me) to go Dutch on a date, not even once. I hear these stories and I have to ask, where are these men?!

    I am now engaged to someone and I out earn him (for now). Even so, he insists on paying more often than not when we are out (although we've both decided to stay in more to save money for a house, wedding, and investing for retirement). He does this because he wants to show that he has the desire to take care of me with what he does have.

    I also think it's interesting how she described herself in the opening sentence – 30s, no kids, overweight with shapely frame, and a pretty face. It's as if she's equating her value to her looks, trying to show that she's a good catch, but still hinting at deeper self esteem issues. I would describe myself exactly the same way as the author did physically, but with totally different outcomes with regard to dating. So, maybe something is wrong with her expectations and her mindset.

    • http://www.lifeisablast.org paynewell

      Well I also think she gave that description because she's writing into a male site to get basically a man's view. With getting a man's view they are notoriously for being visual creatures and i think she knows that looks are important to men which is why she threw it out there.
      My recent post Things that I have learned in my 20s

  • Smilez_920

    Users can smell weakness. I think someone mentioned it already but she may be presenting herself to these men in a way that says “hey I’m lonely, just be around me, my treat”. She may not talk to these men about her personal finances up front; it could just be that she accepts certain behaviors from these guys. Where is she meeting these men? Are they in her age range? What qualities does she see in these men too even keep them around for 2-3 months if they’re asking for money upfront?

    She also mentioned “I'm over weight but shapely”, that description doesn’t sound like someone who is confident in they’re appearance most would say “Full figured, more to love, thick, meat on my bones etc” seems like she may be self conscious about her weight and maybe that’s why she can’t seem to find the confidence to be picky and not worry about someone thinking she’s “stuck up because she doesn’t give every “Joe blow” a chance.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan.

      Pretty much what I said, she pretty much just reads….available.
      My recent post Today’s Word is… PHONE

      • Smilez_920

        Yea a lot of women who get used, played or have a hard time finding a "good catch" are usually to available which leaves them open to all the wrong guys.

  • http://deservemore.net Paula

    I’ve been there before and wondered if it wasn’t an age or race thing, myself. It is indeed about tolerance.
    There are sooner signs than a man asking for money, a month or weeks later, and she must be ignoring those.
    I would say how she feels about herself is being reflected in the caliber of men she’s choosing. That and she may be getting chose by men who aren’t up to par.

  • Lisalisa

    Well I have been there recently and I although I’m 25. No kids I have a decent job I’m not begging but I man asked me for money twice. He was younger than me he was 21. The first time I was a softee I gave him the money and vowed that I wouldn’t do it anymore. We talked for a min and ninja disappeared on me. He moved back closer to my town he was broke no car no job and for 2 kids. He recently asked me for some money I td him he’ll no!!!!! He called me a b***h and I anit heard from his ass since……..that was last week……so far everything that I have read about examining yourself and the guys you date I have been doing so I promised myself that the next guy I get involved with he MUST be stable I’m not taking care of A grown ass man I can’t but I’m taking a step back and looking at me fixing me….. But it’s tough pull to swallow but homegirl has a future we just gotta reevaluate situations and the guys that hills at us…..but I wanted to share my story too!!!!!

  • amaris79

    I'm going to go a bit away from what others are discussing and say that likely the key is in her self-described "sweet-spirited" nature. I think what's happening is she's giving everybody that approaches and isn't insane a good ol' college try in the hopes that sheer volume will work in her favor. Unfortunately, "sweet-spirited" isn't really great across the board, and she may be letting some things slide in an attempt to give a "good potential" man a chance. I'd even go so far as to say she may not be aiming high enough, as she may not believe she is as much of a catch as she describes on paper. I'd say starting to put her foot down in other areas will help her practice standing her ground on her worth relationship-wise.
    My recent post Black, Latina and Fabulously Natural; How Loving my Hair Taught Me to Love the Rest of Me

    • http://www.lifeisablast.org paynewell

      I cosign all of this.

      Some women don't want to be categorized as THAT woman who men particularly make feel bad because these women are turning away men from jump because of their approach or the aura that they are giving off. She's thinking "you never know" with guys who many probably have a good idea from the jump that they aint worth the time, but you want to be 'nice' and give them a chance because they could be better. Even overweight women are getting married, so believing her being overweight is keeping good men away is a negative. True enough some 'good men' wont want her because of her size, but there are others who will. She'll have to set that standard, keep doing things that interest her and wait for someone who is about something to come along. I know some skinny chicks right now getting a financial game ran on them as we speak. It comes down to what you accept.
      My recent post Things that I have learned in my 20s

  • Question asker

    Hi everyone. I asked the original question examined in this post. I’m so glad SBM posted this and I appreciate all of your responses!

    Some more info & clarifications:

    First, I over stepped when I said ‘every’ man. It’s not every man I’ve encountered but it’s certainly more than half (!) who have either hinted of needing money, felt entitled to money when I tell them what I do (which in itself implies that I make money), or straight up asked for it.

    Yes I do know there are men of ALL races & backgrounds who prey on the compassion, sympathies & bank accounts of women of ALL races, ages, backgrounds & appearances.

    I phrased my question specifically about black men because that is what I’m most attracted to/interested in dating.

    Yes I’m only child.

    Yes my friends have described me as ‘too nice’ & even ‘too honest’ when it comes to men I’ve dealt with.

    Yes I do give a lot of myself, in both relationships with men & in friendships with women. I have often expressed disappointment when my kindness is not appreciated or reciprocated, and I tend to cut a person off after this.

    Yes I still care too much what others [that I care about] think about me. However this is lessening as I get older.

    No I was never really schooled in the art of dating, the ‘game’ or the games men play & have had to research for myself what’s really going on out there.

    Yes I definitely need to re-evaluate my choices in men. I come from an upper middle class family, went to predominately white schools most of my life, and yes I admit I have been attracted to BM with more of an ‘edge’. Not a perpetual ‘bad boy phase’ but definitely a man who is more street smart than I am.

    Whether family money or my own money, I’ve always had more money than any man I’ve dated, even when they’ve had more education.

    When I say I take care of my mother I mean I help her out no questions asked & I ‘spoil’ her by getting her whatever she wants now that she’s divorced. She didn’t raise me to be stingy or selfish (although I can be selfish with certain things). However it should be obvious why I’d do this for my mom versus a grown ass man.

    No I don’t pay for dates unless it’s his birthday or it’s something new I’m getting a guy to try (like sushi or tapas for example). I have gone Dutch on a date with a man who was just out of a messy divorce. He was smart & sexy but broke and I knew that from the get. Met him at a retail store.

    Yes I’ve loaned money to one man that I ended up dating for about a year. Met him on blackpeoplemeet.com (yeah, I know) He was the first to ever ask actually. He was a rebound after a bad LTR break up (with a man I met in college) & if I’m being honest with myself, although he was nice & fun to go out with in the beginning, he was someone I settled for because it distracted me from a broken heart. He asked for money about 6 months in after a string of ‘bad luck stories’ and I had a feeling it was coming. At this point, I still wasn’t hip to the ‘game’ but I knew that a man shouldn’t be asking a woman for money. I ‘helped him out’ trying to be nice.

    After promises to repay me were broken, and after he had the nerve to ask me again for money, which I refused, I started to resent him. I cut things off relationship-wise but we still remained friendly. After opening up to him months later about how I felt over the money situation, he did recently repay a third of what he owes, but still owes me a couple hundred, which I’ll probably never see.

    After him (and a couple of defaulted loans to my cousins) I decided to never mix money & relationships again. People know I have it though, so it’s caused some tension with those who have asked for financial favors.

    When I talked to different friends and family members about the above mentioned man, the men especially schooled me that no real man should or would ask a woman for money.

    I included my physical description because I’m well aware of the line of thinking [that some people have] that plus sized women are more ‘gullible’ than their thinner counterparts and that they are willing to do more to get/keep a man, including paying all the bills while he doesn’t work and tricking off her cash or good credit for the sake of having a man. While I’ve definitely seen this with some plus sized women, I’ve also seen it with women who are a normal weight. I’m talking about bright, educated, professional women, who have spent/loaned/lost thousands of dollars to men in their lives.

    Yes I am proud of my accomplishments and although I don’t brag, I make it known to men that I can take care of myself. I don’t use the term ‘independent woman’ but I do make it clear that I’m not looking for or needing a savior/way out/meal ticket.

    Ok thanks again for replies and anymore advice is greatly appreciated.

    • Streetz

      Thanks for reading and submitting the question. I hope we helped!

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

      I like that I was right on most of these *Tiger Woods fist pump*

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

      I like that I was right on most of these *Tiger Woods fist pump*

  • lol

    it's you boo…I have most of the same characteristics you have except I'm about four years younger. If you don't like what you're attracting you need to change your atmosphere. I haven't had this problem at all in the last few years because I've changed my dating scene.

  • langwichartz

    I'm amazed at how in 2014, ladies are still "expecting" men to be more successful and financially stable than them. In today's economic climate, its tough because the jobs aren't there from a generation ago. Also people make mistakes in their past that haunt them well into adulthood. I am a believer that we can be catalysts for change in each other, who knows you may be the person meant to make him/her better in their lives. Is a "broke" man with a good heart who is just down on his luck and circumstances less valuable than a rich A-hole? A better question is: Why is it still expected for a man to entertain a broke woman in today's progressive society? In the end its about your value system, no wonder the world is becoming more and more single and selfish.

    • RealTalk

      @langwichartz

      RIGHT!

      This is why I'm certain that in our society, women are the biggest capitalists.

      Women typically want to be progressive and make as much money as possible in traditionally male-dominated jobs and professions. However, they want to be traditional and only date high-income men who are able to provide for them financially.

      What's lost on these women is the fact that the more they collectively achieve professionally and financially, the fewer men there are able to provide for them financially. And these women with high-paying jobs/professions are collectively preventing men from being able to provide financially for women because they are competing with men for the same jobs.

      Ironic and disasterous. Thank you, feminism!

      • langwichartz

        @realtalk

        I agree to the premise of your reply, however I don't take umbrage with the opportunities that women have gained over the last half century. Instead I take issue with these same progressive-minded women who refuse to acknowledge the plight of men in this modern society, and continue to hold us to antiquated and unreasonable dating standards.

        • RealTalk

          @langwichartz

          Well here I think we acknowledge the same things but it's semantics again.

          I take umbrage at the fact that these women are demanding that their male companions make more than they are when they're the ones edging out men for these high-paying/power positions in the professional scene. I don't necessarily hold ill will towards women for taking advantage of these opportunities but I do take issue to them doing so while still not adjusting their dating standards to today's reality. Likewise, from what you stated, you take umbrage at the fact that women refuse to acknowledge men's plight and hold us to traditional dating standards.

          It's basically our difference in understanding a chicken-and-egg situation. But it's always great to converse with thinking, knowledgeable brothers.

  • Tdavid

    OK … I wasn't going to respond to this but I must …

    First, Ever Heard the Phrase: "Peeezy Pays the Bills but Deeek Pays the Rent"? There are a lot of women who will do most anything to Keep that ding dong that made their body do things nobody else ever has. It's the reverse of Men who get that 'Good, Good' and then lose their minds (and sometimes a whole lot more) to keep getting it. Some men have discovered this 'weakness' in the defense of most women and will exploit it for financial gain. Not saying it's true of 'This' woman but it is a consideration.

    Secondly, Some men (like ME) put women thru a series of tests to see what they are really made of. Are You Really Down For Me – or – Are You Just Trying to Use Me for Your Own Benefit?

    -If I am feeling a woman – And we have been on a few dates – And we've hung out at Your House and My House – And maybe we have or have not 'Had Relations' – But we have been dealing for 2-3 months – And all this time (so far) I'm paying for everything: Yea … I'm Going to Put You on the Spot! I'm Going to Ask You for Money for Something. (Me Personally) … I'm not going to take it but I Do Want to See What Your Response Is. I want to see what you're really made of. After all; When we first met all you could talk about was how you were an Independent Black Woman. You talked about How Good of a Job/Career You Had. Talked about how you Didn't Really Need a Man for Anything. (Translation: All I need a man for is Deeek … and If it does not meet my standards … my 'Buddy w/Batteries' is in the Closet or Night stand) The problem most women like this run in to is: Men Don't Give a Fat Babies Ashe About Your Career (at the most basic human level) … We just want to know How Good of Woman are You? How Into 'Me' are You? So sometimes a man will 'Challenge' you. A man who has his own is just feeling you out. Real Men aren't 'Tricks'. We will Spend toward the company of a woman we are feeling but We Don't Ride on 'One Way Streets'. We will Bail.

    Third … Shaat Happens. It may just be bad timing. Maybe there is a legitimate need. Maybe he thinks you would be able/willing to help him out. Who knows? Maybe he would have to sign a Promissory Note (if you didn't feel close enough to be giving him money). I NEVER Loan a woman money. I either Give it to Her or I just don't do it. The real question is: How were you paying your bills before I met you? That's what you need to keep doing. If things are tight (financially) I'll offer it to you. That's just me. The other question in the back of my mind is: I Just Met You. You've got family/friends/co-workers. All the people you know and you can't get anything from them? Why???

    Finally, Maybe they are trying to 'Play You'. That's a real possibility too.

    Bottom Line: Whose to say why men keep asking her for money. Maybe something about her attracts that kind of man. Maybe she need to do self inventory and access each situation as it comes to discover the intent behind the question.

    Just My Opinion …

  • SunnyDisposition

    I think Streetz advice is on point. This woman should evaluate her actions/behaviors and her dating pool. Somehow she is attracting losers. I am financially stable woman that's single without kids in my early 30's and have exclusively dated black men but have never had one ask me for money. I have a close friend that encounters this issue frequently. She has low self-esteem, often discusses her high income and successful career and always pays the bill or goes dutch on her dates, which I think sets her up for failure by attracting these loser-user type of men.

  • jassyj

    I’m 21 years old, and this has happened to me. I don’t want to seem stuck but I’m pretty, smart, and I have a big heart. This Blog has helped me open my eyes to see that I have the blame, because I give off vibes that I’m to nice, that I yearn for someone to care about me, & desperate maybe. I need to start putting more value on myself, and Stop falling for a man who isn’t on my level.

  • Ali

    Jennifer was the 22 year old bartender at a local pub back home. She was friendly enough and had a good rapport. She would share stories of embarrassing or debaucherous nights, past and present. Remember, women don’t get wet, they only jump from raft to raft.

    Like many women, she would frequently demand to know where the “good guys” were, because in her mind, she really believed she deserved better than what she had. When she said this all I could think is, “So what exactly qualifies you, or any modern American woman as someone who deserves a good guy”? Was it when they are at the corner of the bar swapping tongues and getting dry humped by that guy you had just met an hour previous? Was it when how the night before she had disappeared, and while everyone looked for her, she was passed out alone at some other bar and had “peed your dress”? Maybe how she prefers anal sex, but that was okay because her current boyfriend might be gay. Apparently he prefers only anal.

    They will openly tell people how they don’t fuck their boyfriends anymore and casually divulge all their relationship problems to anyone that will listen. Whatever, it’s cool, they deserve better right? Who needs class when you have a vagina and plenty of lonely men around?

    #ideserveagoodguythough.

    Jennifer had a roommate, same age, who seemed just as baffled as to where her white knight was. This despite Jennifer telling me of the countless, almost nightly random encounters her roomie had with equally random men, one who had recently given her herpes. But that was okay because it was “no big deal, it’s just like having cold sores, except down there.” I’m shocked how such beautiful souls can not find their equally amazing soul-mates. What is wrong with a world where two such wonderful catches are forced to navigate these treacherous seas filled with those sharks called men?

    #Whateverhappenedtochivalry

    Like a previous article I wrote, No Woman Can Escape Mother Nature’s Devastating Reality Check, I blame a lot of this on thirsty men who allow this behavior because they are too scared to be alone or, God forbid, never get laid again. It’s time to call these women out on this bullshit. Stop being so scared and accommodating, which most women find repulsive anyway.

    #Hedoesntopendoorsforme

    Jennifer and her roommate are not the target here, nor the anomaly. They are just examples of an all too typical American female. The ones who feel like they can behave any way they choose and shit on whomever they want without consequence. Regardless of this, somehow when they decide they have had enough rides on the cock carousel and spread enough venereal disease, they still deserve a gentlemen to open doors for them and send roses to work on Valentine’s Day so all her coworkers and Facebook friends can be like, awwwww someone loves her. The logic? Well, they are women.

    They deserve this for no other reason than that. Who let them believe this? Blue pill “men” who would rather sit on a woman’s bench in the hopes of one day having sex with them and men who prefer the friendzone instead of being assertive and standing up for themselves by letting these women know their behavior is far from acceptable, and actually quite insane. Sure, some blame falls on the woman as well, but to their credit they truly believe their own bullshit, and they believe it because men allow them to.

    #WhycantIjustfindagentlemen?

    Just cruise Facebook in your late 30s to see prime examples of this. I can sit here daily and read self-righteous, borderline preposterous posts by females I have known for years to just bounce from dick to dick without consequence or regard for the guys they called boyfriends, or in some cases husbands. Chicks I witnessed take on three dudes in a hot tub now throwing up pictures of their baby and poor husband who has no idea what a selfish slooter his wife once was, and probably still is.

    Hell, the majority of women can’t even hold onto any real female friends out of jealousy and envy of one another. There is no loyalty—all that matters is what they want. They are getting away with murder, acting like mother of the year because they are now too old, undesirable and tied down to be worth anything on the market. “The best thing that ever happened to me,” it boasts under the family picture at Epcot Center. Wrong, she realized one day she was not the star of the show anymore. She desperately needed to dupe some unsuspecting man into locking her down and dealing with her bullshit for the rest of his life before it was too late for her. Almost anyone with an income of $50,000 or more per year will suffice, literally anyone. If she still had the ass she had when she was 22, she would still be skating around town, taking advantage of thirsty dudes willing to gamble on the warts she might pass their way, but now she can’t.

    Now she is the perfect mommy, looking down her nose at the twenty something’s still in the game pulling off her old tricks. She will post advice filled memes and inspiring credos she never lived by to make herself appear like the mom of the year and wife of the century. She has all the answers. We all should envy her and her perfect little family.

    #ideservemore

    A large percentage of these women, while “happily married”, are still seeking attention in other ways. One thing a female cannot give up until the day she dries up is attention. I personally have a small library of photos sent to me via text or email of these types. Tits, ass, dildos inserted—you name it—some with heads chopped off for anonymity. Anyone of these women can be found on my Facebook feed with pictures of her children and husband proclaiming that these are the greatest things in their life. Right. Until she felt insecure and needed someone to compliment her tits so she can live another day. Oh, what’s that on my cell phone? Nothing crazy, just another text photo of her ass in the bathroom mirror because her and hubby had a fight today.

    #Whydontyoutellmeiambeautiful?

    Let’s not even get into the women I personally have hooked up with over the years who were married or had boyfriends. That was something I did mostly in my 20’s and is not worth the hassle or risk these days, but I truly don’t think the average guy out there realizes what shady creatures women are by nature. I used to think it was just because we were young, and this is what young people do. Nope, because in my late 30’s it’s really not much different. As a matter of fact, a lot of these 30 something women are worse because their self-esteem is shot and they will do what it takes to get attention and feel like they are still desirable. Maybe a sext, maybe a blow job in the car, whatever it takes.

    #Menaresuchassholes.

    You ever notice in movies and TV shows that when a man cheats on his girl he is portrayed as a total piece of trash misogynist? But what happens when the female character cheats on her man? The man is still portrayed as a piece of trash misogynist that deserved to be cheated on. She was just a victim and we are supposed to be happy she left him for the other man. This is the mentality of the American women, and like music, it seems to only get worse with every generation.