These days a lot of us are choosing to be single. We’re throwing away the mentality that by a certain age we should “settle down.” I mean, the concept never really sounded that great to begin with. However, I think that society has afforded us a new opportunity to live fulfilling lives without letting go of the single status. I’m not saying that it’s right and marriage is wrong, I’m just saying it’s an option that more people are choosing. It used to be a time that if a man or woman had reached the age of 30 and they weren’t married, we automatically assumed something was wrong with them. Nope maybe they’ve just got their reasons. Here’s a list of ten reasons why men can’t stop being a bachelor:
- It’s all his, he doesn’t have to share. – Part of every relationship is sharing. The turnoff is that nobody really likes to share. Right now, everything he owns is his and it’s the way he wants it to be. He doesn’t want someone else coming and taking up his time with his things.
- His life is pretty awesome. – He can go where he wants, he can do what he wants, and he can do who he wants. He doesn’t have any ties to anyone and there is nothing pulling on him. We call this freedom. The ultimate goal in life is not to live one of slavery and being tied down.
- He hasn’t met the one who makes him want to change. – There are some men who are willing to give a relationship a try even when they don’t think she’s the one for them. They hope that over time they’ll grow to love them. Then there are the ones who don’t budge until he meets the one who makes him want to change everything in his life for her. If he is the latter, he’s not budging until he meets her.
- No really, his life is pretty awesome. – I don’t think you understand, the life he lives is awesome. When they say relationships are hard work, they mean it. When they tell you to stay single as long as you can, they meant it. He’s got the freedom to pick up and go at a moment’s notice. This makes his personal and professional life soar. He doesn’t want to give that up.
- Coupled and married life sounds pretty boring. – When he talks to all his friends that are married or in serious relationships; their life sounds boring. They’re talking about date nights, wine tasting, shopping for things for the home and splitting TV shows with the misses. His boys are all talking about their kids and “saving.” He’s more interested in living and riding life until the wheels fall off.
- The women in his life are too important and he’s not dating any of them. – If he’s made it this far there’s probably a lot of female friends and a mama hanging around. When those women become too important in his life there isn’t much room for anymore estrogen. He knows this and he knows that any type of relationship will require a shift that he’s not interested in.
- It’s much easier to get ahead in life. – When I said that it makes it easier for his professional life to soar, I wasn’t kidding. Some of our best years in our career are when we have nothing else to worry about our career. It also helps you reach your goals when you have an individualistic approach to reaching them. If he wants to work 100 hours a week, there’s nobody there to tell him things like, “you spend time on things, you want to spend time on” in an attempt to guilt trip him in changing priorities.
- He decided marriage wasn’t for him. – There is this guy named, George Clooney and his only intention in life is to never get married. He’s not the only man like that and anyone assuming that he’s full of sh*t or hasn’t met the right girl is sadly mistaken. Everyone will have to come to grips with the fact that this guy exists and he’s made up his mind so far that he won’t be moved. It’s best nobody waste time on this guy if they’ve already decided they want marriage themselves.
- He’s a late bloomer. – If he’s a late bloomer, there is a chance that he’s only recently had the chance to play the field. Much of that field is still new to him and his dating/hooking up career hasn’t really had a chance to reach maturity or retirement. These guys are easy to spot too. Their game isn’t developed and he still makes mistakes but he keeps trying. He’s going to need some time to want to give up his bachelor status; he just got it.
- He doesn’t know how. – There’s an overwhelming majority of people who make up the roughly 50% of society that aren’t married that aren’t fit to be married. It’s just not for everyone. Some people don’t want it and then there’s the group who are hopeless. He may not know how to be in a relationship and do all that it requires. He may be too selfish, too absorbed in himself and his life to ever understand what it takes to be in a relationship. He may be too old for someone to desire to teach him and a lost cause or maybe he just lacks the gene from within that speaks to companionship. Whatever it is this guy isn’t choosing to be a bachelor, he’s sentenced to a life of being a bachelor.
There’s a lot here and not a lot of finger pointing needs to be done. Here’s the important takeaway, if you meet a guy who’s doing all these things it’s easy to walk away. It’s best to do that early but even if you don’t do it early and you’re just realizing he has all or some of these characteristics, you can still walk away. It may be frustrating and I understand a woman’s sentiment who feels that the numbers already suggest it’s going to be hard for her to find a husband. I can understand that feeling that you can’t afford to have any men electing to not want to give up their bachelor status. Unfortunately it’s one of those situations where you cannot stop it, you can only hope to contain it.