Most times when I begin to write, I listen to a song or two just to get my mind right. Today the ipod was on shuffle and “Tap Out” comes on. How fitting, right? Maybe it’s more ironic considering today’s discussion.
Last week I wrote a post entitled “Ladies, This Can be Why Round 2 Doesn’t Happen.” I wrote that piece with the intent to bring a fresh perspective on a common topic. I really wasn’t trying to come at women’s necks with that post. I didn’t give much attention to other reasons why a guy wouldn’t be aroused quickly to go another round. I honestly didn’t see the need to.
I just wanted people to say “hmm, I never thought of it like that.”
Judging from the majority of comments, there’s a divide on this issue. The majority of the ladies who commented chalked up this issue to lifestyle. If a guy can’t get up for another round, then he’s got to be out of shape. If a man can’t go all night he must abuse alcohol. Now there’s credence to both of those statements. Lifestyle does play a part in sexual function. There’s no doubt about it. However, lifestyle is not the only factor. It’s said that men can’t go backwards sexually and women can’t go backwards in lifestyle. It’s possible that if a woman doesn’t do certain things a guy is used to it can affect his performance. Now it’s up to a man to let certain things be known. But the fact still remains. What I highlighted last week wasn’t a reason related to lifestyle. It was based on two people needing to communicate. It requires us to care about one another’s needs.
Sure men play a part in this whole thing.
We play a huge part. I just wanted ladies to know that sometimes there’s something more you all can do as well. Now last Friday a great blogger named @Uheardmeright wrote a response to last week’s article. You can check it out here. I actually thought it was a great post. It was hilarious and it was honest. She gave a woman’s perspective to a tee. This is a conversation for both parties to lend their voice to. Only good things can come from understanding. Maybe a lot of us guys have been too mum on this topic. Recently @Wisdomismisery and @IAmRichJones touched on this on their @Tgospodcast here. The fellas discussed women having higher sex drives than men. It was a discussion I think was worth having.
I felt a need to let ladies know that we have these differences in the bedroom. Without talking about it, we’ll all be victims of ignorance. That’s no fun for anyone. It should be noted that I never intended to make “excuses” for men or women. These are just real life scenarios. These things happen. And there’s more than one way to skin a cat. There’s a myriad of reasons for why things in the bedroom may go south. It’s up to us to keep an open mind and have constructive discourse.
Having said all this, SBM fam is having no round two or three all a guy’s fault? Do you think better communication can improve something like this?
These are my words and I make no apologies.
DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS – Damn He Got A Point” (My Column) on Viral Status