Wanting that old thing back can be a bitch can’t it? Well it sure can be when you’re aware of the dangers of it. We could end up paranoid sometimes about a situation like that. There’s only two ways things can go: right or wrong. We’re only human. With that, there’s been times that we’ve spent being very defensive. We get hurt, we put up walls. It’s absolutely warranted.
Over time though, things change. Time heals so many wounds. Maybe you’re back in an amicable relationship with a past love. You might still have real feelings for that person as well. At the same token, here comes a new fine thing. The both of you hit it off! And just as perfect as the universe works, your old love is throwing vibes again. Aww shit. I don’t think anyone enjoys this situation. It’s just our luck that as soon as we fall back they crawled back. Fab be on the pulpit don’t he?
You’re now in a bit of a quagmire.
I don’t know if anyone really knows how to deal with this. You could ask what Jesus would do, but we don’t know about his love life. So we’re damn near forced to go with our gut. Our instincts usually steer us the right way. What makes sense actually does end up making sense. That doesn’t mean your heart will always lead you down the wrong path. But once we’re in situations like this, we’ve got to be a bit more meticulous about what’s right for us.
To borrow a boxing term, we need a tale of the tape.
In other words, it’s time to compare these two individuals. What your old love brought to your live is extremely valid.What we might need to know is if there’s something that old love can still offer our life today. As it pertains to your new chemistry, what are they about? How much potential do you see that individual having long term? I see no problem having faith in someone’s potential. It may not even be a knock on your old love. Maybe it’s just time for something fresh.
Just as many other scenarios regarding love, there are grey areas.
This situation doesn’t have a clear cut answer. Nevertheless, it can be extremely delicate. If you don’t handle this type of deal with the respect it deserves, then someone leaves pissed. Not so much pissed that things don’t go their way either. But they leave upset feeling maliciously slighted. Your transparency with your interests are paramount at this point. You handle this unique situation in a mature fashion then everyone leaves respecting you.
My advice when it’s an old love versus new chemistry? Do what makes sense. Do what you think leads to long term happiness beyond a feeling of nostalgia.
Any of you found yourself in this situation before? What would you do? Let’s speak on it.
These are my words and I make no apologies.
DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS – Damn He Got A Point” (My Column) on Viral Status