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5 Signs He Just Wants Sex


Sometimes the dating scene is a little foggy and you can’t even see ten feet ahead of yourself, but all you have to do is turn on those little yellow fog-lights to clear things up and give you perspective. It’s frustrating when you can’t tell if he wants a relationship or just on-call sex, but this blog will clear things up for you, 5 Signs He Just Wants Sex:

He Only Plays With You During His Convenience

So this guy never really moves obligations around to make things happen between you two. He only cares to catch up with you when nothing else is entertaining his time. You’re not a priority to him and there’s a never a sense of urgency when it comes to the time that you all have together. You’re just simply a walking, talking pastime.

He Never Goes Above and Beyond for You

When you really like a woman you make things happen. If you want to get those last minute tickets, you pay a little extra. You’re trying to surprise her with a nice dinner, you call in a few favors. She really wants to see you, you get there by any means necessary. A woman that a man loves, he leave logic behind to an extent because he doesn’t want to disappoint her.

He Doesn’t Feel Like It’s Worth Fighting for You or With You

So you have a discrepancy with how things are going with you guys? He doesn’t offer you resistance. He doesn’t argue or even listen to empathize with your points. He just avoids the altercation altogether, because you’re not worth the aggravation. You’re not worth the time to endure temporary discomfort for. You’re suppose to be easy, because you aren’t worth much to him.

Discussing the Future with Him is Like Going in Circles

You talk about future plans and he starts groaning with disapproval of the mere topic. He tells you to “just enjoy the moment” or “go with the flow.” Please… men make plans for the people or things they want in their life, no matter how abstract or uncertain those plans may seem. If he doesn’t plan for you, than he probably doesn’t care about you and if he does care it’s not enough to sustain a relationship.

Everything You Discuss Somehow Becomes Sexual Innuendo

Nothing is worse than a man that can’t interact with a woman without making everything relate back to sex. You say “It’s hot outside”, he’s like “Yeah this is perfect sex weather.” You say “You’re cooking stuffed bell peppers for dinner”, and he says “that ain’t the only thing that could be stuffed ;)…” You say “you’re getting out the shower”, he’s like “I wish I could’ve joined you.” Like absolutely corny sh*t. At first it might be funny or cute, but weeks later it becomes repetitive and immature.

What are some other signs that show he just wants sex? How long does it usually take for you to see a man’s true intentions? Fellas what do you say to a woman if you just want sex? Play the game or just be straight forward?

-theSUNK(the Sh*t U Need 2 Know)

This has absolutely nothing to do with this post… But Sweet Lord! She’s BACK!

TheSUNK TheSUNK is the Weekly Contributor for SingleBlackMale.org TheSUNK.com or "the Sh!t U Need 2 Know" is a NSFW blog based on the explicit discussion of sex, relationships, and social commentary. It’s "Where Your Bedroom Voice is Welcomed…" TheSUNK is a native of Chicago and a current Howard University student.
  • Good lord Amber…..good lord.

    I typically loathe “signs” articles, maybe because I’m a straight shooter and hate when ppl try to read between lines I’m not drawing. But i don’t think I’ve ever just stated my intentions for a woman unless it was pursuing a relationship, is the game that dumbed down I gotta explain the complementary roles too?

    • JOhn Crawford

      The sexual innuendo is the clearest one I see and agree with. Also, signs 1-4 are used by Ladies and have nothing to do with sex…..

    • Bree

      lol @ “loathe signs articles” I’m with you though Trist. I’m starting to loathe most relationship articles. Unfortunately they’re a necessary “evil” for people that just don’t know I guess. All of these points are pretty blatantly obvious. I think sometimes people just want to hear you state the obvious. Maybe it doesn’t “feel real” to them until you say it.
      I also agree that you shouldn’t always have to explain with words what’s obvious through your actions. However, it makes for smoother communication, with no blurred lines, no windows busted out your car, no misunderstandings, no misinformation, and most importantly little to no drama. I’ve learned that people will get over hurt feelings, some quicker than we think. It’s always best to just tell the whole truth.

    • cynicaloptmst81

      Typically, I think dudes who’ve drawn this line are more inclined to play the game than be a straight shooter. He doesn’t want to potentially chase her off…he wants the drawers.
      And, like John mentioned…women can def use this stuff to string guys along as well.
      You’d be surprised how much common sense a person can lack when they are naive or desperate…or so in-like they become blind to the obvious.

      • JOhn Crawford

        I’d like to clarify a bt more on my comment- signs 1-4 are pretty much The Signs/Reasons used for putting Men in the Friendzone, thus the Nice Guy/Bad Boy Conflict and in turn, this post is the Male Equvalence of Sex-Zoning a Woman out of a Relationship.
        I’m Guilty of being the Teenager that used to do what this post describes and I will say it is about 55% accurate

    • Payne Well

      Yep. We have to remember, the dating game is sucking these days, and primarily because people dont know how to date. They are listening to words and really not that smart about actions. Some of us are good at identifying people’s actions in advance, but that’s because we learned the game. You don’t come out knowing these things, sometimes it needs to be taught.

  • cynicaloptmst81

    When I was single and dating, just about every man that cared about me advised me not to “do the do” for as long as I could hold out. They said that most dudes who are simply out for chex would get tired of waiting/working for it. Then my male bff (who’s quite the “traveler”) said a real player is patient. He’s got other things going on and you holding out won’t make him run off, per se. But, it least it gives you more time to observe the effort he puts into to seeing and getting to know you. If dude is putting in minimal effort, keep things light…don’t get deep.

    • I think its underestimated how long a dudes willing to wait especially in this new era when you can talk to multiple people at once and still get “time served” credit.

      What it boils down to is women need to stop focusing so much on playing defense making sure undesirables don’t win and work more on finding someone they themselves want to be with

      • cynicaloptmst81

        I don’t think there’s any sure way to…anything, really. Cause even after you find someone you like, it’s no guarantee they’ll like you the same way. *shrugs*
        The older I get, the more I experience…and the more I’m convinced that timing is pretty darn close to everything, lol.

      • theSUNK | Sh*t U Need 2 Know

        That “timed served credit” is real. Tell a chick you’ve known her for 2 years, but you only really talked to her about 3 to 4 times a year, waiting in the wing for the box.

        • k. lynn

          I have a guy that I’m cool with that I’ve spoken to on and off since 2004. Now I suppose he is interested in me and is thinking of something serious. Instead of him taking me out, he just invites me to come over. His reasoning is, “I’ve known you for 10 years.” However, in those 10 years we have hung out once, maybe twice. That “time served credit” is very real.

        • JOhn Crawford

          Some of that is the “Being Friends before getting In a Relationship” sentiment backfiring…… knowing someone for years as opposed to Going Out and Approaching/Courting makes a ton of difference.

        • cynicaloptmst81

          Def a good example…and he’d def get the side-eye, LOL

        • theSUNK | Sh*t U Need 2 Know

          So going over there or nah?

        • k. lynn

          Nah lol, not going.

        • Actually that’s not the time served credit thing. That’s him being like, “Well I mean at this point, I don’t care either way, so let me go for broke.”

        • k. lynn

          That could definitely be the case. He went for it, got denied lol

        • So he wants to spend time, but dont wanna spend money…

      • Mr. €

        I have noticed over the years, that women who I sense are in perpetual defense mode, never score any points with me.

        In football the defensive squad is not on the field to score points, it’s on the field to prevent them.

        BTW: I have a 780 credit score and merchants love me.

    • JOhn Crawford

      Very True, a Minimal Effort Guy is easy to spot, but a Real Player/Mack in a way Wants the Challenge of Waiting 90 Days, or going on multiple Dates to see when a Woman “gives up the goods”, so that she and the experience will be another accomplishment and knotch.
      Think Like A Man I with Megan Good’s character and her opposite comes to mind-only more common….

    • SOme peoples intentions are clear, but some’s are so clever and hard to figure out.

  • Payne Well

    This is on point!!! and will be shared expeditiously!!

  • Mr. SD

    Damn this post…………Amber Amber Amber

    • theSUNK | Sh*t U Need 2 Know

      Stumbled on that Amber Vine and had to share it with the word lol

      • Mr. SD

        Good job sir

      • Y’all know I was going to find a way to use that tomorrow.

  • The dead give away for me is when I only hear from you after a certain hour and its a random basic text…”hey sweetheart whats good” <—Boy stop! And some of those signs come from men who aren't ready to settle down. I can typically see the intentions in a month, because I tend to shut up, listen and watch

    • theSUNK | Sh*t U Need 2 Know

      *planned to respond to this comment after 9pm* Yeah the booty call hours are definitely abided to for strictly sex. However, I don’t believe a man would hyu around that time, if he hasn’t already hit…

      • Payne Well

        you’d be surprise. Women with lax standards create bolder dudes when it comes to that area.

      • Oh you have no idea, every now and then I’ll come across a couple of men who really jdgaf

    • He might just be bored.

  • I think that women need to be careful thinking that a man only wants sex when it’s really that he hasn’t made you a priority or only hits you up when he’s bored. I’ve had women tell me they know the dude only wants sex and I knew the dude and his thoughts was, “She ain’t bout shit so I just hit her up when I ain’t got shit else to do.”

    Also a certain age, most men stop chasing after women just for sex. They might be chasing for the conquest but it ain’t just for sex. Maturity bring clarity that once you smash these chicks there will be another potential for drama. I recommend to the older cats, straight up tell a chick that you only want sex. Some of them is for it, just like you, they’re not looking for anything serious. Others won’t go for it and that’s fine. That’s the type of chick you smash and then you end up having that 4th sign that Sunk mentioned happen like every other time.

    And y’all know how I feel about Amber Rose. She lost that baby weight.

    • Furious Styles

      Thanks, October. This article assumes that women never “just want sex” and that men are perpetually conning them out of their goods…and that women always want a relationship… ANY relationship…whenever sex is involved.

  • Courtney Sanders

    Well maybe if..and i’m playing devil’s advocate here–but if women held out longer and made the man earn the cutty and held him more accountable for his actions chances are that’s not all he’ll want you for because he’s gotten to know you enough and perhaps you all gained the chemistry enough so sex isn’t all he would want.

    my recent post:No She doesn’t want to sleep on your spiderman sheet 10 reasons it’s time to move into your own place

    • Furious Styles

      I think that matters more if he is 1)wants a relationship. 2)wants one with HER. Most men aren’t dumb animals that need to be tricked into a relationship. Women have the right to not have sex outside a committed relationship. But the dating game ain’t a meritocracy where people “earn” sex or a relationship.

  • langwichartz

    *Tips cap to Amber*
    That said, lol, I have a query. Why do we continue to look at 21st century dating through 19th century lenses? The old rulebook has been vaporized in the nuclear holocaust of the dating world. PEOPLE, not just men prioritize chex more because we live in a more sexually liberated society. The ideal of a relationship just doesn’t carry the same reverence with the general population as it once did just like marriage. Guys are sexual creatures by nature. Women have always exploited that biological truth to their advantage. Problem is now its no longer as shameful for a lady to be free with her “lady parts” as it used to be, and now “good girls” have a more difficult time trying to operate under the old social order.
    Men are master adapters in the dating game, so if you keep on trying to establish rules and guidelines, we will just find another route to achieve our goals. A mentor of mine once told me that a “woman” sometimes will give you sex just to get you out of her face because she knows that’s what you want. I didn’t believe it until it happened to me in my late teens early twenties. She will turn you out one good time and then cut you off just to prove a point. I say lets put in work for relationships, because having sex is the easy part.

  • Great list and I must admit, its spot on. The sexual innuendo thing is iffy. For me, it fits your conclusion if all other aspects of your list are in play. But I would implore women not to zero in on the sexual undertones/innuendos to mean he is only interested in sex. If he is not demonstrating any other interests outside of that, then sure.

    Another good one to add to the list is communication being limited to texting with very little to no telephonic interaction. That is a dead give away.

    Mr. SoBo

    My Post: Two Reasons Why You Should Avoid ‘Break Up Sex

    My Post: How Long Should You Date Him Before He Proposes?