Why Do Men Kiss and Tell?

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A long time ago, I had an older guy friend who showed me the ropes once I arrived on the college campus scene. I attribute a lot of what I learned about courting women and how to keep women happy to this friend. He didn’t give me the traditional knowledge, my dad always provided that for me, he gave me the real deal knowledge. You know, the stuff they can’t teach. Above all else, there are about three key lessons that he taught. All aren’t relevant at this time but the one that is most important today was this – the key to a great sex life is discretion.

I don’t think men understand how they look when they kiss and tell. They want to be the life of the party and tell the tall tales but they’re not realizing that when that scenario plays itself all the way out, he ends up looking short. I could tell you many sex tales but I won’t. I don’t care to give fodder for others to put two and two together and reveal who is the star of the tale. Men who make that mistake almost always remove themselves from being the co-star in a future tale.

The temptation comes from the need to be the center of attention. Almost as though men feel that they are validated by their sexual conquests. It’s silly. If you think about it, by simply saying nothing — and the assumption by others that “nothing” could not be the extent of your sexual conquests — it grows the tale much taller. It’s no secret that women love the mysterious and aren’t really intrigued by that which they already know or can easily research. I often tell men that no woman wants to be the story or the entertainment of a circle of men unless she’s a stripper. Think about that the next time you spill on your sex life. Sure there are funny stories here and there, something that may make the room laugh but giving out these stories is risky — and even more risky when people have to give out names and numbers. That’s an absolute no-no and actually grounds for suspension or expulsion. People should be able to decide if and when they want to identify themselves; they shouldn’t be forced. If Mimi wants everyone to know that’s her in the video because her name is in the title, so be it. However, your girlfriend should have a choice before you spill the beans on the details of you guys’ sex life.

- See the finish at MadameNoire

- Dr. J

In my lifetime, I’ve always been amazed when men do this. Do you all notice that it seems men have become obsessed with sharing stories about their conquests of the past? Do you think there is any harm in it or are they just adding to the cooler talk? Also, do women do the same thing too? I know from my experience, I’ve seen instances when they do and those when they don’t. Cheers.

 

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  • Gray

    I don’t understand giving out too much information nor blow by blow details, it’s just too far gone by that point. Conquests seem to define men, to other men. Well, that’s who they want to impress.

    In my circle we may acknowledge being horny and personal aspects of things we like but not our mates. We’ll laugh about creating memories but maintain mystery. I always imagine someone else in the group getting worked up by the stories… I wouldn’t want any of my friends fantasizing about my man because of my stories.

  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

    In my experience, dudes usually have two go to stories, hell I have maybe one or two id share if asked. No names, no dates tho. I think theres a difference between an anecdote about this girl from college, and running around talking about X did this or the newest buckfoy trend of leaking pictures. I make references to my personal life on my blog or on here but its always about perspective or context not just shameless boasting.

    • dmcmillian72

      “buckfoy” LOL! Stealing this… Thanks!

  • Furious Styles

    We do because it doesn’t “lower our stock” as it does with women.

    • Gray

      Why do you want to impress men with your D?

      This confuses me… Men don’t brag to women so why would your stock matter to men? I mean no disrespect it’s questionable behavior to me.

  • Soulflower

    Real men don’t kiss and tell. Insecure little boys do.

  • TheIVth

    Girls get clowned by being called a hoe and it being suggested that their sleeping with everyone. Men get clowned by being called lame and it being suggested that they arent getting any sex. THATS why some men “kiss and tell”. Think about it.

  • http://www.OpinionatedMale.com/ Mr SoBo

    Although I agree with this post in principle, I believe it hinges on an assumption that ‘guy talk’ centers around competing and D*ck measuring, which is false. Perhaps in high school such behavior was common place and fueled by a need to garner attention, but as grown a$$ men? Not so much. At least not in my circles experiences and observations. Maybe this behavior is a regional thing? Me nuh know.

    I agree that ‘kissing and telling’ in detail about the wifee would be a bit odd. On the other hand, pow wowing with the fellas and recalling a memorable ‘experience’ (albeit good or bad) with a previous or present insubstantial lover is harmless conversation. In my experience, such conversations weren’t done to boast about one’s sexual prowess; it was done to share with one’s comrades the awe, bewilderment, disappointment, or outright comical experience he had with a lover. Occasionally there would be names mentioned, but usually not.

    But again, this is just my experience within the circles I have personally bore witness to in my life. I can acknowledge that circles of men do vary as people innately tend to gravitate towards commonality.

    On the other hand women -in general – tend not to be as forthcoming with their exploits as they are just as fearful about the negative stigma associated with such revelations. They are equally concerned about what their circle of friends think of them as they are concerned with what men think. No one wants to be known as the ‘that chick’ of the group, although there is undoubtedly always one identified in every group by the group. Usually its not due to ‘kissing and telling’, but more so based on the group’s observation of her indiscretions, i.e routinely abandoning the crew to hook up with new and different guys, etc.

    This information is not difficult to come by. Once a guy begins courting a girl long enough, she will eventually ‘out’ one of her friends as being ‘that chick’. I guess one can conclude that women will likely ‘kiss and tell’ on their friends more than they will ‘kiss and tell’ on themselves.

    Mr. SoBo
    OpinionatedMale.com

    Post: YGM! Your Questions, Our Answers

  • http://twitter.com/alacrityamir AlacrityAmir

    Every circle varies, and every individual varies as well. There’s always at least one guy in the group who dishes all the details without a moments hesitation. With that one willing to give all the information there’s usually someone who wants and needs all the details in order to live vicariously through them. Let’s be honest with each other ladies, women kiss and tell too.

  • langwichartz

    Historical references are fine to me… but current partners need to stay private.