So it was only right that 15 Things Good P Can Do had to be written, after 15 Things Good D Can Do. Because there ain’t nothing like some good P, however there is also an alarming rate of wack box that inspired another post called 6 Signs You Have Insecure P, a disease that is plaguing this great American country and even other places in the world. But f*ck it let us not focus on the negative that suck the morale out of our bedrooms but rather on, 15 Things Good P Can Do:
1. Have You Sending “I Left the Door Open for You” Texts
Every once and awhile your lady friend likes to hit the club with her girls. After a few drinks, numerous arm grabs, and ass shaking she gets out the club horny as f*ck. Who better to relinquish that tension on other than you? But you couldn’t possibly stay up to 4am just waiting. We go to sleep so we don’t get tortured waiting on that after-the-club nookie. So you got to “leave the door open”. No matter how dangerous your neighborhood is a guy will always leave his door open for some bomb P. I don’t care if he lived in Gotham City, he’s going to leave that door unlock.
2. Sleeping However to Make Sure She’s Comfortable
She could be laying on your arm, yo sh*t fell asleep hours ago, but you know what? You not gone move a muscle that P so good, you don’t care how you sleep. She could take all the cover and all the pillows and you gone make that sh*t work. You don’t wanna wake her up, after she did such a great job. What’s comfort?
3. You Can Go a Few Extra Rounds
Some women don’t think the D gets sore. But if you’ve been slanging that thang since 12am to 2am and two fat rounds later your joint is done for. Sometimes you don’t even want to touch it afterwards. However, when the P is good, you disregard all signs of chilling out. No worries though, you’ll suffer in the morning.
4. Have You Getting the Haircut She Likes Most on You
You’ve been getting the Ceasar since Junior High. One day you switched it up and copped a bald fade. She dug it, she was rubbing your head all seductively before ya’ll started knocking boots. Now ever since she said she liked it, you’ve been copping the fade. That’s what good P will do to you, have you changing habits and sh*t.
5. Telling Yo Boys You Staying In
All the guys know what’s going down when you stop hitting the streets and the club up like you use to. Every time they hit you, you say “Naw bruh, I think Imma chill with shorty tonite. I’mma get up with ya’ll later.” Soon as ya boys get off the phone they’re like “this n*gga” and clown you for a good 5 mins. Funny thing is though, you don’t give a damn.
6. Have You on theSUNK.com Trying to Find New Moves to Do
A woman with good P will have you wanting to step your D game up. You surfing the web, looking at Kama Sutra, and even going back to your p0rn stash for sex move references. Good P will have you buck naked in the bed waiting on yo girl ready to do a new move, she can’t tell if you trying to make love or wrestle.
7. Make You Sing to Her(You Cant Even Sing)
After some good sex even the most hardened criminal becomes a little goofy. Both of ya’ll will be booty naked running around the crib playing tag or singing and sh*t. Some good snappa will have a man acting like a child again.
8. Make You Consider Being Her Boyfriend
That wet wet will have you wanting to lock it down and make it official. You thought about it, because you’re not trying to have another guy double-dipping in that. You sit alone contemplating being a committed man and sh*t in your dim ass living room.
9. Have You in the Gym
Last time you looked in the mirror you noticed that six-pack wasn’t sitting like it use to. Shorty will have you getting on that treadmill and benching your life away so you don’t have to hear about Idris every damn day. Instead of eating Doritos you eating granola bars now, trying to get fit just for the bedroom.
10. Have You Tivo’ing Her Favorite Shows for When She Comes Over
When men want to keep something in their life they become all considerate and sh*t. Tivo’ing Love and Hip Hop, Scandal, and Real Housewives is a grown man move. You trying to get in there good and keep that cat stroked & tamed- I peep you playboy.
11. Have You Agreeing with Her When You Know She’s Wrong
Man you’re not trying to do anything that may jeopardize you getting some tonight. If she thinks Usher is a better performer than Michael Jackson, you go with that. If she thinks Lil Scrappy will always be a better lyricist than Nas, you go with that. If she says Jordan could never guard Lebron, you roll with it. No matter what you’re slam-dunking tonight.
12. Have You Cooking(You Only Got 1 Go-To Dish Though)
What did you cook? Most likely it was chicken breasts and broccoli maybe it was asparagus(Benzino style). Every man has one go-to dish that they have perfected and please believe me they will use that sh*t when the time comes.
13. Make You Wanna Have Phone Sex
Man, you were too grown for phone sex about ten years ago. But when you hear her voice and she talking all nasty, you gotta whip the thang out. She’s either out of town or maybe you are, but you gone get yours regardless. She knows how to keep a man entertained even when she’s not physically there, she’s definitely a keeper.
14. Spend His Last on Some Rubbers
You could have $13.78 in your account, but if she hits you up you gone cop that $8 pack of Bareskins condoms and buy some MckieD’s for dinner that night. I know how the game goes. She’s probably got food at her house anyway, right? It’s not everyday that you get to bounce in some wet and springy… F*ck it, we just gone have to starve tonight lol.
15. Pulling Out Every 2 Minutes
Good P will have you pulling out, giving yourself pep talks, and stroking superslow just so you can hang. You know its good when you put your thang in and out of the stash like it tickles. How about when its so good you can’t even look down at it, because if you do it’s over?