What Is Dating Like For a “Fat Girl”?
Before everyone gets their panties in a bunch, let me explain. Comedian Louis C.K. has a new(ish) sitcom called, Louie. In this sitcom, which is funny to me because I like Louis C.K. a whole lot but I can understand why not everyone is watching it, there is a Fat Girl soliloquy. (I want to make it clear, i’m not at all sure if it’s cool to use the word “fat” so I put it in quotation marks. In all honesty, I avoid saying the word myself… by any means necessary.) It has since now went extremely viral on the Internet and it really drives at some real issues that arise when people who are overweight or heavier start dating. I can’t do it justice but I can post it here so you can read it. If you haven’t seen the episode, check it out. At a minimum, watch the clip at the end of the post.
Vanessa: Ugh, dammit. That is so goddamn disappointing, Louie.
Louie, you know what the meanest thing is you can say to a fat girl? “You’re not fat.” I mean, come on, buddy. It just sucks. It really really sucks. You have no idea. And the worst part is, I’m not even supposed to do this. Tell anyone how bad it sucks, because it’s too much for people. I mean, you, you can talk into the microphone and say you can’t get a date, you’re overweight. It’s adorable. But if I say it, they call the suicide hotline on me.
I mean, can I just say it? I’m fat. It sucks to be a fat girl. Can people just let me say it? It sucks. It really sucks. And I’m going to go ahead and say it. It’s your fault.
Look, I really like you, you’re truly a good guy, I think. I’m so sorry. I’m picking you. On behalf of all the fat girls, I’m making you represent all the guys. Why do you hate us so much? What is is about the basics of human happiness, feeling attractive, feeling loved, having guys chase after us, that’s just not in the cards for us? Nope. Not for us.
How is that fair? And why am I supposed to just accept it?
Louie: You know, Vanessa, you’re a very, really beautiful—
Vanessa: If I was a very, really beautiful, then you would have said yes when I asked you out. I mean, come on, Louie, be honest here. You know what’s funny? I flirt with guys all the time. And I mean the great looking ones, the really high-caliber studs? They flirt right back, no problem. Because they know their status will never be questioned. But guys like you never flirt with me, because you get scared that maybe you should be with a girl like me.
And why not? You know, if you were standing over there looking at us, you know what you’d see? That we totally match. We’re actually a great couple together. And yet, you would never date a girl like me. Have you ever dated a girl that was heavier than you? Have you?
Louie: Yes I have, yes I have.
Vanessa: No no no, I didn’t say have you ever fucked a fat girl, Louie. I’m sure you have. Every guy has. I mean, when I met you, if I had said, “Hey, do you want to go to the bathroom and screw on a big can of peaches?” you would have gone for it. No, I’m saying, have you ever dated a fat girl. Have you ever kissed a fat girl? Have you ever wooed a fat girl? Have you ever held hands with a fat girl? Have you ever walked down the street in the light of day, holding hands, with a big girl like me?
Go ahead. Hold my hand. What do you think is going to happen? You think your dick is going to fall off if you hold hands with a fat girl? You know what the sad thing is? It’s all I want. I mean, I can get laid. Any woman who is willing can get laid. I don’t want that. I don’t even need a boyfriend or a husband. All I want is to hold hands with a nice guy, and walk and talk —
What are your thoughts? Do you think it’s harder for heavier women to find people to date? Do you think they have to mute themselves in society so that they are not judged? Is their struggle a silent one or are they encouraged to speak out? I think it’s one of those things where if you speak out then you’re the “fat” girl, and if you don’t then nobody would ever pay attention to you or your feelings. Damn if you do, damned if you don’t.