What Do You Do When Your Ex Won’t Stop Talking about You?

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For one reason or another, exes tend to be a touchy subject in relationships. Whether it’s the potential for exes to show up again, an inkling a person can be swayed by their sex, or someone who seemingly hasn’t gotten over the hurt caused by an ex, people in relationships generally don’t want to hear about their partner’s past. The last topic, refusing to overcome the hurt caused by an ex, serves as the thesis for today’s post with Teyana Taylor and Torrei Hart being the catalysts. I’ll start by fleshing out the differences between how both have handled their exes and, later, discuss how talking about the hurt an ex caused isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Teyana Taylor, as far as I can tell, has an intriguing argument for how she’s handling her situation. For starters, it seems that she was caught off guard, not only by her ex but by whom her ex is now dating. In addition to having to deal with the betrayal of her fiance, she also had to deal with the embarrassment of her ex-fiance being with someone she once considered a close friend. Also of note, her break-up was fairly recent (at least in a public sense). I don’t have too much to say about how she’s handling it because her actions seem apropos for the time period and her age group. She’s being asked about it and letting her feelings be known, making a song or two, and taking a few shots on social media. All seems to be par for the course, especially for her generation and their incessant need to play things out for the entire world to see.

Torrei Hart, however, is on the other end of the spectrum. I’ve been a bit more privy to how she’s been handling the relationship fallout between herself and Kevin Hart and I, more often than not, find myself disgusted. After hearing (what I’m assuming is) both sides of the story (Torrei via this site, Kevin via Twitter), I can say Torrei is handling this in a manner that doesn’t necessarily garner respect. It’s one thing to be a young woman who lost both a friendship and a fiance in quick succession. It’s quite another to be divorced from a man and discussing the in and outs of a marriage that’s been over for quite some time as if it happened last week. To be perfectly honest, Torrei Hart has been grating my nerves with her seemingly daily expositions of how she’s done so much for Kevin Hart and he left her. Granted, I could understand if he somehow did not repay his debt, or left her high and dry with the kids, but from what he’s said, he’s been a great father and has been paying $20,000 a month in child support. In my mind, she needs to fall back and accept her “L.” She has a new boyfriend, a family to take care of, and a top 5% in salary in the form of child support payments.

See the conclusion at MadameNoire.

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  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

    No matter who’s right and wrong, you’re going to sound bitter to somebody. In the Teyana and Torrei cases you factor in their exes fame and the stigma doubles.

    In real life, its something that grinds my gears, moreso the lack of accountability exes have. Post all those memes and subliminals but you and I both know what went down. It becomes a question of who are you trying to convince, the world or yourself.

  • vendetta

    This article is so horribly biased and insensitive. Firstly, Torrei has not been talking about that man like you imply. She has done a few interviews compared to him making light of it and talking about it in multiple shows over the past few years all while parading the woman he cheated with around the world (around her kids might I add) yet she disgusts you? You think when people get cheated on or just generally done wrong by others, they should jut shut up and pretend like it doesn’t bother them? And then you mention money like that means anything. If it was her marriage, she should be allowed to talk about it just like him.

  • Payne Well

    At this point, everyone is going to have their own opinions. No one was in the relationship but you and that person. So when people go out spouting what they feel are “facts” those who are on the receiving end will identify if they want to believe you or not. My approach would be the Bee and Jayz approach. Do not say nothing! People will begin to see how bitter someone else is when you allow them to just do the talking because at some point people will think “dang it’s been 4 years, let that ish go”. The people who are the most important to you will already know the truth and to me that’s more important than setting the record straight with people who couldn’t care less about your well being.

  • k. lynn

    The best question that someone asked me was what was my role in the ending of my previous relationship. It automatically took away the finger pointing and placing blame elsewhere.

    • JT

      Indeed, its a very good question for someone bringing you their…’story’ – and ironically, folks RARELY disclose what THEY DID OR DID NOT DO. LOL. It took my sister years to realize this when she would tell me about all of her girlfriends and their men who did this that and the other.

      • k. lynn

        It’s so easy to say what someone else did. People love to play the role of the victim.

  • http://www.BlackLatinaFabulous.com/ Maris

    It’s really a losing game, especially if you’re a woman. It’s never nice to hear your name in general conversation as the “woman who couldn’t take care of her man”, or the “gold-digger who only had kids for support” when you know you actually loved that person and felt sincerely wronged. Especially if he’s moved on and is parading his new woman around, saying he never knew “real love” until he met her in interviews. You take the high road and that stigma follows you. You talk or try to defend yourself, you’re “bitter”. Only in rare occasions (like an Amber Rose) do women come out ok and even then. I honestly cannot say what I would do.

  • James

    I don’t pay attention to celebrity news as much, but in the blurbs that I’ve seen, Kevin is often talking about how dope Eniko is and how in love he is w/ her. Combined that w/ his standup jokes that make his ex look like a textbook crazy Philly jawn, I could see why she’d be salty. Unless your s/o is still in love w/ their ex, you’re not going to have hear about them, see pics of them, or discuss what they do. You only expose yourself to that open wound when you don’t disconnect from them and that break up. That’s virtually impossible to do in the Hollywood circle though.

    Torrei and Ray J are 1 in the same. It’s hard to simply “move on”, when you see your ex blow up after ya’ll end and they find happiness that time spent w/ you couldn’t give.

  • Gray

    You cannot make someone love you or desire to be with you!

    Some relationships work and some don’t. It’s ok for a relationship not to work, but so many people take the break up as a direct insult. I’d love to know why… Would they prefer the exes spoke solely of them in a great light? Kevin’s shows speak of family interactions…. whether it’s stand up or not men view their woman similarly when arguing, nagging, or anything negative. I’ve never thought she was crazy based on his jokes. She is no more perfect than he is. His advancements work in his exes favor. If it were me I’d laugh and keep it moving. If I despised him it would be for him & I to know. I would not act silly and desperate for all, including my kids, to see.