Are These Women* Loyal? Some Men Sure Aren’t.

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We’re a couple weeks from summer y’all!!

It’s around this time where there’s a whole slew of new music. We’re all listening and looking to see reactions. We’re trying to figure out what will be the summer anthem. I love summer anthems. I frequent  many outings throughout the summer months (like the UA BBQ Pool Party). Good music has a lot to do with an event’s success.

This year as far as I can see it will be no different. As much as this song isn’t brand new, it’ll be a big deal. “Loyal” is a huge hit for Chris Brown. It  tells a story of gold-digging women. The song is all about how those women lack loyalty. There’s much truth to that. “These hoes ain’t loyal” is the hook of this song. And it is that lyric that many men have used to describe a woman who scorned them. A lot of guys say this with a sense of bitterness. If a woman gets him with the okie doke, he’ll exclaim these hoes ain’t loyal.

The issue I have with this two fold.

First off, many of the guys who say this aren’t loyal themselves.  Secondly, too many men aren’t accountable about the part they play. Of course for Chris Brown’s life it’s different. There’s a paranoia that comes with the fame. You don’t know who is really down for you. But for most of us, we don’t have that problem. Many of us are still on the never-ending hunt for that Chris Breezy paper. So we use this line to relate to our own situations.

For example, if you listen to YG’s “Me And My Bitch,” he’s very vulnerable. On the track he talks about his “wifey.” He details the sacrifices he made for her. But the song prior to that one (on the album) he’s messing with another woman. His friend calls him to tell him he saw his girl with someone else. He then learns that she’s been cheating. But YG was cheating too. This song is another example of “these hoes ain’t loyal.” At least as it pertains to how the common man uses it.

There’s this sense of entitlement that men have.

It’s certainly not all of us, but definitely some. This idea that we can dog out these women and never have it reciprocated. It’s foolish to perpetuate that logic. Yet that is exactly what we do. How dare we come out our face condemning a woman for doing her? If we didn’t honor the relationship either, why should we speak? I get the whole spiel about a woman being a lady. That’s all good and well. I simply feel that if you’re disloyal, you have no place to call someone else out. Play your part.

How do you all feel about it?

In any case… I still dig the song. It’s fun to sing damn it! It is your song of the summer guaranteed. Just keep it in it’s right context. So just for kicks here’s the video…enjoy!

These are my words and I make no apologies.

DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS  – Damn He Got A Point” (My Column) on Viral Status

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  • Payne Well

    Lol women are loyal, its just the ones that most men want, aren’t the loyal kind. Lol But I do love the song!!!!

    • Bree

      “women are loyal, its just the ones that most men want, aren’t the loyal kind.” Say it again please Payne.
      As Jamie Foxx sang, “You keep falling for that type.”

    • http://arafricaine.blogspot.com/ Arafricaine

      Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Say it.

    • Beauty In Truth

      That video/song was the most appauling thing I have ever heard in a looongg time!Yes, Let’s dance to being called *itches and ninjas. Then be suprised at Donald Sterling’s comments. Exactly why this culture shall continue. Men dont want loyal/wholesome women. They want “itchy *itches” who will chase status. My lovely generation…(Turns head…from left..O_o to right… o_O…PLAY. “These ninjas ain’t loyal…I don’t mess broke ninjas, always want da didgits…”OFF)…

  • Jontae Grace

    I think it’s more equal in this department than in times past. Both men and women struggle with issues of loyalty. It is also important to note that “Loyalty” and “Faithfulness” are two different things. I have found that women struggle more with Loyalty, meaning that they confide in another man, are emotionally attached to more than one person, even if she doesn’t cheat. Men usually struggle with faithfulness, and the inability to keep his sexual energy contained to one woman. But usually, he’s not emotionally invested in the side piece.

    Women will say, “but I never cheated,” while men will say, “but I don’t love her”. Both are equally bad, but I’m just saying that it plays out differently between the sexes.

    • Damn He Got A Point

      That’s a cool distinction

    • Bree

      Great points Jontae.

    • http://www.OpinionatedMale.com/ Mr SoBo

      Brother, well said. Bravo.

  • http://streetztalk.net/ StreetzTalk

    The premise of the song is contradictory in certain areas.. but that song is going to GO this summer!!!

  • Bree

    “First off, many of the guys who say this aren’t loyal themselves. Secondly, too many men aren’t accountable about the part they play.” These statements sum up this entire post quite well.
    Pops I applaud you for doing what many men don’t do, being Honest & Upfront about how much your own sh** stinks.
    Thanks & Mad Props Pops :) *smile*

  • Guest

    Good post, but yes men do have that ego and won’t play that position and feel entitled. It’s an unfortunate way of life and there are women who will tolerate that from a man. I used to tell brothers all the time, “yeah you fcuk all the women you want and be playa playa, but what happens if your woman does the same”, and it’s true I wonder if men as a whole ever stopped and thought of that.
    post:deadly mistakes men make in a relationship that should be avoided

  • Courtney Sanders

    Good post, but yes men do have that ego and won’t play that position and
    feel entitled. It’s an unfortunate way of life and there are women who
    will tolerate that from a man. I used to tell brothers all the time,
    “yeah you fcuk all the women you want and be playa playa, but what
    happens if your woman does the same”, and it’s true I wonder if men as a
    whole ever stopped and thought of that.

    post:mistakes men in a relationship that should be avoided

  • Kenan

    I put this in the category of “understandable double standards”. Each gender has certain double standards that we live by. We’ll never say them of course but they exist. For example, I know a lot of women who still live with their parents but say they won’t date a man who lives with his parents. Doesn’t seem quite right to require someone to reach a certain level in life that you haven’t received. Or how about the other wonderful double standard of “No matter how many times a woman hits you, A man has no business putting his hands on a woman.” Now we should just be preaching “everybody keep your hands to yourself” but we don’t. Thus creating the double standard.

    Men humping around but not expecting women to hump around has been around since the dawn of time for evolutionary purposes. They aren’t going any where just cause of a feminist push in the last century.

    • Damn He Got A Point

      Oh I agree that the behaviors aren’t going anywhere. But some of the ridicule should, you know?

      • Kenan

        I guess. I just put the ridicule in the same category of “all men are dogs”. It’s not true but I doubt women and men will ever stop saying it.

        • Damn He Got A Point

          I can dig that too

    • http://arafricaine.blogspot.com/ Arafricaine

      While double standards aren’t going anywhere, men will soon (if not already) wake up a world full of angry jaded women trying to even the playfield,hopefully it’s past my time.

    • Beauty In Truth

      That’s what you think. You probably think all your “conquests” and longterm (if any) partners are always honest about their number too.

  • Lashuntrice

    So now that we’ve established that cheating is a problem on both ends, where do we go from here? I guess we’ll find out in the Fall.

  • Brad G

    My favorite storyteller got it right on this subject, speaking on both sides. Jay-Z x Song Cry.

  • Gray

    In most situations a person gets what they give. If loyalty is what you’re looking for, then be loyal. I know a lot of men who seek out more than they give, and that doesn’t realistically happen for most.

    Where I live this song has been played too much already. I’m hoping to hear something different for the Summer.

  • http://righttoreallove.com/about/ Jay

    “I simply feel that if you’re disloyal, you have no place to call someone else out. Play your part.”

    Those are my sentiments entirely!

    It amazes me how disloyal and dishonest people have a desire for other people to treat them right, but they aren’t willing to do the same. That’s asinine!

  • heyheyno

    Hey …..key line when a rich n*gga want you and your n*gga can’t do nothing for you…This line in particular can be interpreted in many ways . I’ve seen over and over again where a woman will push and encourage a man to be a better man. He doesn’t listen too resistant and at the same time he’s not even being the right kind of man to her. So a quality guy becomes interested in her and then she leaves that broke guy alone. Why should you be loyal to a man who isn’t doing right or treating you right? lol but maybe I’m thinking to deep but that’s what I took from the song lmao

    • Damn He Got A Point

      It’s not a bad perspective, but if you’re going to say “these hoes ain’t loyal” then they aren’t talking about a woman who’s being mistreated. They’re talking about the woman looking for that come up. “Why give her an inch when you know she wants 9″ – Lil’ Wayne

  • http://arafricaine.blogspot.com/ Arafricaine

    I find it hard to take an abuser and a multi-babies daddy seriously when it comes to loyalty. Loyalty,much like respect is earned not bought.

  • Es Sully

    For as long as men have been cheating….NOW they want to get sentimental because they realize that women are playing the same game??? Please!! I am NOT and will NEVER be an advocate for cheating in any way shape or form. But I think it stings a little more for men because when women cheat, there is usually an emotional connection….as opposed to men who claim that it is purely sexual. Frankly, for me, I think the real problem is lack of education and the unemployment rate…If more people were handling business and getting that GWAP…they wouldn’t have to be paper chasin after a man…LOL

    • Damn He Got A Point

      Lol that’s certainly one theory

  • http://thesexysinglemommy.net Ty (SexySingleMommy)

    BINGO!! Some men do have a sense of entitlement. They are surprised and sitting around looking like fools when a woman turns the table and dogs them out. Guys act like there is a double standard to playing games and that they hold all the cards but let a woman cheat, they feel like God has foresaken them, even though they have been doing the same thing she did to them. Give me a break!

  • Ali Sheikh

    A date is (as usual) an affair

    entirely controlled by the female, even though she will work very hard to convince men that just the opposite is true. For a social engagement to take place, a man and woman

    first have to meet, or to be introduced. If she is physically attracted to this man-or even if

    she’s not, if she smells cash-she will almost immediately institute “The Probe”. The Probe

    consists of an innocuous-sounding list of questions, sometimes put bluntly, but more

    often insinuated into the flow of conversation, which is designed to calculate a man’s …….

    earning power, the way a salesman qualifies a prospect. Taken at face value, these

    questions appear quite ordinary, the sort of polite queries one might ask when talking

    with a stranger. But in the hands of a woman sizing up a man, they take on a sinister

    significance. “What do you do?”, “Where do you live?”, “What kind of car do you drive?”

    all may seem innocent enough inquiries, but a woman interested in a man will work them

    into the first few minutes of a conversation so that she can determine whether he is worth

    an investment of her time. These questions all translate into, “How much money do you

    have?”, while the little calculator inside her brain goes clicking away. One wrong answer

    and she will immediately excuse herself. Variations of The Probe can be subtle: “Where

    did you go on your last vacation?” would be an example. Concomitant with The Probe is

    the “tell-him what-he-wants-to-hear” con. Thus if a woman ascertains that her prey is

    wary of gold diggers, she will say, “I’ve never cared about money; I don’t understand how

    women can act like that”, and the like.

    If a man can survive the gauntlet of The Probe, his labors are just beginning. Our culture

    prescribes that men be the pursuers, which puts them in a weakened position from the

    start……