Melyssa Ford Says She May Have Provoked A Man To Punch Her

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Recently, model and actress Melyssa Ford sat down with The Brilliant Idiots podcast (hosted by Charlamagne Tha God and Andrew Schulz) , and  she was honest as she described a time where she knew she provoked a man to punch her in the face. She said he wasn’t the type of dude who hit women but she pushed him to that point to put his hands on her.

While I was shaking my hand in his face, I smashed him in the face with the CD walkman. He didn’t even blink and punched me right in my face. Lip exploded. It was like *gasp*. Then I wilded out some more and he was like, ‘Oh my God! I gotta get her out of here,’ because we’re in the car in the street.[...] I’m sure there’s a whole lot going through his head.

We got back to the house, it’s kind of like a blur but all I know is for the next like, day, every time he looked at my face he burst into tears. He was devastated he had reacted that way because he’s not that kind of guy. I just think that there’s some guys who have problems with beating women. They just do. Then there’s circumstances where he was a human being who was backed into a corner and he reacted without even thinking.

He is not the kind of man that would solve conflict with…or even women. That’s not how we would solve conflict by fighting. If it comes down to it, yeah. He’s going to defend himself. To a certain extent, this was a defense mechanism. It was a mechanism and my behavior activated it. It took me a while to learn to stop putting my hands on men.

Source: Necole Bitchie

Here is a video of her account of the situation:

What are your thoughts? This topic of discussion seems to be lingering on since the suspension of ESPN Analyst Stephen A. Smith. Do you think the argument hold more weight now that a woman (not named Whoopi) has come forward with her perspective?

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  • JOhn Crawford

    When Women themselves are saying the same thing(s) as Stephen A., Whoppi and Mika Brezinski of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, I THINK Common Sense is kicking in rather than the Status Quo- Society stance that Women are Always Victims and Never Offenders.

    I Never thought it would be so hard to tell Both Genders to Keep their Limbs to Themselves; their will Never be a PSA for Ladies like there has been for Guys. And if I hear 1 more time that “a Woman’s Slap/Punch Doesn’t Hurt ” I’m gonna have steam summer from my head and face. That’s Not the Point at All.

    Women have just as much Responsibility Accountability, and Obligation towards their Actions and Behaviors as Males; not Every One is Weak, Irrational and/or a Damsel in Distress. If what I said gets twisted as Victim-Blaming then That Person or People have No Comprehension, Common Sense and Full of It. Either Men and Women are Equals or we Aren’t, and that Equality does not mean Strength Only is the Barometer.

    • http://singleblackmale.org Dr. J

      Yeah and I would also add that the culture that’s bred when people don’t engage in accountability on both sides is that men just stay in their own pockets. Like men… we just stay away from women when we don’t think they get “it.” This is the only way men can keep themselves away from dangerous women who think that the rules should be applied differently. I’ve said this about several issues such as domestic violence and sexual assault. If you don’t create a space where accountability is on both genders then both genders will continue to have conversations with only their gender in the room.

      And trust me, when a group of men get together talking about issues that affect women it can get troubling. I would only imagine the same happens with women.

      • JOhn Crawford

        When the ombudsman of ESPN wrote his reflections of the past several “high profile” topics he mentioned Stephen A. Smith and his comments;it he said the Ray Rice comments were similar to what Smith said about Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozada. I find it Hilarious that folks bring that up as if NOBODY has heard or seen Basketball Wives- Evelyn is a Powderkeg WAITING to Explode. The many, many fights she has been in with ppl- Provoked and Unprovoked- is PRIME Example of what Stephen A. meant.

        And Again, Whoopi Goldberg and a White Lady- who is on National and International TV-, who’s Father is a Decorated General in the U.S. Army, AGREES with Stephen A.!!! Many Women, LIKE Melyssa Ford and Other Celeb Women, ALSO AGREE with Stephen A., but Nobody is interviewing or listening to them because the Status Quo is too sweet to change. That and Feminists of the Extreme Variety have ran with this and Blatantly Forgot about Solange Knowles and Lozada

        • Beauty In Truth

          JC coming up in the game! Yo when “I” said the same damme thang in a recent post I got ALL types of heat! What gives?!

          I totally said Evil-In Lozada and rhianna are mentally peturbed airheads who deserve no sympathy! And somehow I was attacked for it! You men get away with saying any darn thing!

          Solange is ALSO a peturbed psycho:

          You got all that money and cant pay someone to throw a swing? Im not messin up MY couture for no “HARD KNOCKS!”

        • http://www.greaterunderstanding.net/ Anthony Brian Logan

          I was going to give you a thumbs up just now until you threw men under the bus with the “men get away with saying any darn thing”

          If that was true, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Stephen A Smith said something that got him suspended from his job.

      • StraightShooter

        This is one instance where a woman has said she “provoked” a man punch her in the face. The problem is that you and men like Stephen A. Smith are using the exception to the rule. The majority of the violence that takes place against women and children perpetrated by men is unprovoked. The same can be said about sexual violence against women. You and other men are using slippery slope arguments with unfounded claims. The first person that needs to be accountable in violent situations is the aggressor. On this site a lot of men love to point out the character flaws of women, but none of you seem to be able to face your own pitfalls. I really used to enjoy this site, but honestly it is clear that as a woman I am not welcome here. This is site is despicably sexist and sometimes seems to take aim at Black women. No need to reply me. Have a good day.

        • Beauty In Truth

          Don’t leave SS! I feel your sentiment. But there surely aren’t many feminists here.

          Don’t be discouraged by ignorance. Some posters are Woman/feminist friendly. Though they dont reply often. In “real life” not many women even care for feminism. It is not easy to be an individual. But I would just keep speaking! Be well!

        • NoWayMiss

          Bye!

  • Nope

    This post reminds me of articles during and after the Trayvon Martin trial where White commentators would bring up Black on White violence and say “see! It happens to us too!” What does Melyssa Ford’s story have to do with a man or a woman who has supposedly “provoked” their significant other to “put their hands” on them? Is it supposed to be used as an example of a woman provoking a man to hit her? As I said a few days ago, there is no reason for an adult with mature emotional development to resort to violence.

    • http://singleblackmale.org Dr. J

      This comment suggests you read the title of the post and didn’t exert any human energy to actually read the post or watch the video.

      “What does Melyssa Ford’s story have to do with a man or a woman who has supposedly “provoked” their significant other to “put their hands” on them?”

      Read the damn post and you’ll see the relevancy.

    • cynicaloptmst81

      I’ve come to the conclusion that some ppl don’t want to get it.
      If a man hits a woman who has NOT put his hands on him, he is wrong, abusive, and should be penalized to the fullest extent of the law. If the woman retaliates in self-defense because he physically and violently attacked her first, she is within her rights.
      LIKEWISE, if a woman hits a man who has NOT put his hands on her, she is wrong, abusive, and should be penalized to the fullest extent of the law. If the man retaliates in self-defense because she physically and violently attacked him first, he is within his rights.
      Melyssa Ford gave an example of the latter. Stating the latter does not negate or take away from the former. Both are equally right. The reason the latter is being brought up is because in both the Rihanna and Jenay Rice situations, it has been implied that both women reacted physically FIRST…meaning the man did not become violent until after the woman hit him. Not that either men didn’t take things too far (I believe they did), but it would behoove women to at the very least own the fact that their being physical first initiated the altercations that ultimately spiraled into a huge ordeal that put themselves and their man at risk. It’s imperative that woman understand that, like men, they too need to keep their limbs and spit to themselves.

      • JOhn Crawford

        And yet Nobody will Agree and Admit to this; Rihanna HERSELF said she Hit Chris PLENTY of Times before that night in 2009. AND, it’s Public Record, that BOTH Rice and Then-Palmer were Arrested and Charges wth Domestic Battery, However, Rice is the Man & Pro Athlete that got singled out.

        I’ve always given the Side Eye to “Gender Equality” because it’s a Myth and a Lie, and THIS further proves my point and the Point of Many Women & Men who don’t buy it. ANYtime there are Groans about a Woman Paying for a Date or Proposing, and ANYtime the topic of Stay-at-Home Dads/Husbands gets Slandered is a futher hole in the Fraud that is “Gender Equality”. Clearly, Feminism doesn’t Acknowledge NOR Defend this stuff, therefore, they are Not for Equality for All

        • Beauty In Truth

          Ok lets go with this: Rhianna provoked CB. But “an eye for an eye” DOES NOT mean an eye for….A tooth, a bloody nose, a broken septum, a shattered femur, a punch in the uterus, A MISCARRIAGE.

          This is pretty appauling. But really what can you expect in a world where six year old girls are raped and abused and 11 and 12 year olds are prostituted; right here in America! It’s a sick culture and we can no longer be complacent.

        • http://www.greaterunderstanding.net/ Anthony Brian Logan

          You could actually say that Rihanna assaulting Chris Brown caused more damage to him than Chris Brown’s reaction to it. Not in terms of physical injury but in terms of being detrimental to his career and his mental state. But the tit for tat thing doesn’t even matter. How about Rihanna keep her hands to her damn self and that whole incident doesn’t happen in the first place.

    • Gray

      Adults with mature emotional development are missing from these responses. They want to act like you’re too stupid to understand, but in reality they want to justify the bad behavior and simply want you to agree.

  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

    I just………so Charlemagne got a podcast now, cool.

    • http://singleblackmale.org Dr. J

      I hate Charlemagne.

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

        yeah he’s terrible…idk how he’s built a brand basically off telling jokes from Twitter

  • Turk Dickerson

    Wait, wait, wait, motherfcukers. Hitting someone in the face with a CD Walkman is “pushing someone to the point”? REALLY?

    • JOhn Crawford

      It’s Not???? You are A-OK with being hit with an object?
      PLEASE, you have to be Kidding with your comment -_-

      • Turk Dickerson

        No, no. I mean it’s ONLY called “pushing someone to the point”? The euphemism is ridiculous.

        I’m sorry, but if you hit me in the face with an object, welp, everything that happens from that point on is your fault.

    • JOhn Crawford

      “While I was shaking my hand in his face, I smashed him in the face with the CD walkman.”—– That’s Assault and Battery, Dude.
      Know the LAW(s), it’s Universal for Men & Women. But Hey, if Boobs, A$$ and Nani cloud your Judgment and Common Sense(s) that much then you are a Lost Cause

      • Turk Dickerson

        See above.

    • cynicaloptmst81

      I wish somebody over the age of 1 would purposely hit me in the face with anything. The face is dag near the worst place to hit someone. Part of the reaction is probably shock and reflex.
      I swear, lol…smh.
      A chick can’t own that her act of violence opened the door for his? REALLY????
      …I really need to stop reading/responding to these articles. Ppls refusal to see both sides is so baffling and frustrating. I’m done now, lol…smh.

      • Turk Dickerson

        I’m referring to her minimizing what she did. She didn’t “push someone to a point” or provoke them. She attacked him. Pure and simple.

    • http://www.greaterunderstanding.net/ Anthony Brian Logan

      if a man hit melyssa ford in the face with a cd walkman then you would call it abuse and want him to be locked up.

      • Turk Dickerson

        See above, my dude. I’m bothered by the fact that she said “pushing him to the point”. Naw, she assaulted him.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ajabritt Hustlyn Diva

    I really don’t understand why some people find this so hard to accept…if you are provoked, mentally and physically backed into a corner sometimes your natural reflex is to come out swinging…and then to add insult to injury not only are you provoked but then you get hit…come’on.

    But my real issue is why do women feel like they can just hop up in some man’s face, tryna go toe to toe? When did this action even become okay.

    Now if your dude comes home and lays hands on you because the house ain’t clean that’s a whole other issue. But if during a argument which most couples have, you find the need and the bravery to step toe to toe and lay hands on him then you as a woman need to be prepared for whatever outcome. You may see a side of him that you never thought was there.

    • PoeticJustice

      Unfortunately, both men and women are predisposed to feel that there are justifiable reasons to initiate physical assault. How many times have you watched a movie or TV show where a woman finds out her man cheated, she slaps him in the face and the audience cheers? Or a man is walking out of a bar/lounge with his girlfriend, someone makes a derogatory cat-call to her, so he turns around and “defends” his woman by punching ol’ boy in the face. This response isn’t meant to play the blame game with the media, but rather point out that when an individual decides something is acceptable for someone else, be it a fanciful or real situation, they are more inclined when finding themselves in a similar situation to consider that behavior as an acceptable option. We can’t celebrate it in one light and then expect to act differently ourselves.

      • cynicaloptmst81

        I totally agree with this. Totally.

    • http://www.greaterunderstanding.net/ Anthony Brian Logan

      i like to think that i’m the nicest, most laid back and calm dude you can think of. some women like to try and get the wild side out of me by trying to anger me. it’s really like awaking a dormant volcano. you place your hands on me, the volcano will erupt. the nice cool guy you once knew now becomes an MMA cage fighter.

  • Lashuntrice

    They should’ve asked Melyssa her throwing a cd player or walkman or whatever in his face would have been provoking him to knock her unconscious and drag her body (not carry her) throwing into a casino lobby. These arguments and women stepping in to defend just aren’t making sense.

    • cynicaloptmst81

      We can at the least go with the most official assumption…
      According to ESPN.com, the story is that Jenay initiated the fight/was the aggressor (slapping, hitting, etc.), Ray hit her back once and very hard, causing her to lose her balance and hit her head on a railing. The hit didn’t knock her unconscious…hitting her head on the railing did.
      Now folks can continue to tap dance around the idea that she ASSAULTED him first. I choose not to. What she did was illegal. Say it with me ladies…SHE ASSAULTED HIM AND WAS THE AGGRESSOR. Should he have hit her back so hard that she lost her balance and hit her head on a railing? No. That is what makes them both wrong in THIS case.
      Women choosing to ignore her initiating act of assault is not making any sense. Can we simply call wrong wrong? Assaulting someone who has not put their hands on you is WRONG!
      …I said I was done, didn’t I? LOL. It’s like…I’m in denial that women refuse to get this…

    • Smilez_920

      No one saying he’s right for dragging her out of the elevator. I could have swore both people mention having a few drinks before the incident happened. What most are arguing is the whole notion of a woman can never provoke a man to hit her. If a woman if assaulting a man , a human like any other human , why is she shocked when he reacts like a human and hits her back. Why are some women fighting so hard against “men and women should keep their hands to themselves. No one is advocating for men to beat a woman like a grown man either if she assaults her. But if where going to talk about unhealthy relationships and violence lets talk about it honestly. There are violent relationships where the man is the abuser and the is the victim. Then there are violent relationships or relationships where an violent incident may have happened and the woman is the aggressor. I feel some women don’t want to speak about the latter because they feel it takes away from the first example. But it doesn’t. Maybe we need a new term to describe relationships incidents like the one with Melyssa Ford and Ray rice

      • cynicaloptmst81

        “I feel some women don’t want to speak about the latter because they feel it takes away from the first example. But it doesn’t.”
        Totally agree…

  • langwichartz

    People don’t know, don’t show, or don’t care that there’s a difference between DV and a “fight” between a man and a woman.

    • Gray

      That’s because the laws title them the same. Justification is BS. Women and men alike should keep their hands to themselves. Understanding the potential to strike back exists doesn’t mean I advocate it by any means necessary the way it seems the people posting here are justifying. I don’t think most people posting know true accounts of DV but they know rare situations of assault. Their advocating one as if it’s the only situation that exists could be the right amount of ignorance to change laws.

  • Bahu-yuddha

    “While I was shaking my hand in his face, I smashed him in the face with the CD walkman.”
    That’s not just provocation; that’s assault. And even putting your hands in someone’s face as if you would hit them is criminal menacing. He should have put some charges on her.
    As a general rule, keep your damn hands to yourself. Additionally, if you can’t talk to somebody without putting your hands in their face, stop hanging around civilized people until you learn.