Let’s be honest, many of us are friends with people we used to date. It’s a good thing and bad thing. If you’re not still emotional dependent on one another it can possibly work. Personally, I feel that if you can’t remain at least cordial with your exes then it speaks to the type of people you have dated in your past. In the fell chance that your significant other finds out about this relationship at random or unexpectedly then things can snowball quickly. Here’s a short list of things that can happen.
They get upset.
Finding out that your significant other is friends with their ex sounds like it shouldn’t be a problem but whenever your significant finds out something is going on behind their back they get upset.
They find out from your friend.
A late night of drinking, you guys stumble down the street and your roommate asks your significant other how they feel about you still hanging out with [INSERT EX’S NAME HERE]. At this point, you’re angry at your roommate for blurting this out. However, you’ve got bigger fish to fry now.
They find out when you mention it accidentally.
Then there was that time that you mention the cast of your last night at happy hour. Instead of stopping there you tell the account of how it came up that you and your “friend” used to date a few years ago. You may explain that you decided you were better off as friends but the damage is already done.
They don’t tell you.
Seems like an ideal situation. Wrong! Never underestimate silence, it’s usually followed by a calculated plot. Or, they back pocket the information and save it for a rainy day or get out of jail free card.
They not only get upset but they spaz.
There’s a chance that you have an old picture of the two of you hanging around the house. Now you have to explain why you went on vacation… alone… with your “friend.”
They forbid you to speak to them.
If you’re not careful and proactive about explaining your continuing relationship with an ex then you subject yourself to letting your significant other determine the terms of relationship with them. This may include not speaking to them, not hanging out with them (not hanging out with them alone), or unfriending them on all forms of social media.
They strike up a friendship with their ex too.
I’ve seen this happen. Your significant other finds out you are friends with your ex and then they determine that it’s okay for them to remain friends with their ex. This relationship is birthed out of the wrong motivation or instigation and can turn frisky quickly.
They break up with you.
A betrayal of trust, even if it’s determined to be a lie by omission, can result in a split. While it sucks and may seem not fair, this is what’s at stake. This is why it’s almost always critical that if you are still friends with anyone you dated or were in a relationship with that you disclose that relationship to your significant other as soon as possible.