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Why You Feel The Need To Label Women

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I wish I could tell you that Amber fought the good fight, and the Sisters let her be. I wish I could tell you that – but the entertainment business is no fairy-tale world.

Let’s recap what happened over the last few days:

Tyga is dating a Kylie Jenner. Amber says that Tyga is a pedophile for dating a Kylie Jenner. Kylie is 17 years old. Tyga is 26 years old. People are more than welcome to think about that what they’d like. Khloe defends her sister’s relationship by taking shots at Amber’s past a stripper at age 15. Amber defends herself by taking shots at Khloe’s sister, Kim by saying she’s a whore. Kanye defends his wife by taking shots at Amber’s… hygiene? by saying he had to take 30 showers after he dated her.

There’s a reason why I don’t take celebrities all that serious. A lot of it has to do with how confusing that whole situation is. Like seriously, nobody really ever stayed on topic. It’s hard to follow and it leaves an air of skepticism as to whether this is all a publicity stunt or if they truly have issues with one another. To keep it 100, I have an admiration for Amber Rose and Kim Kardashian and it’s not because their brains or personality; it’s because they’re beautiful.

What’s surprising to me is the need to label women. Let’s be clear it’s not just Khloe calling out Amber or Amber calling out Kim or Kanye calling out Amber. It’s also us via social media and news outlets. Why is there this inherent need to judge these women? I’d even go so far as to say why do we need to label these women at all? It’s actually rather simple and I touched on this a few weeks ago in my post about non-threatening women. It’s a need to judge or insult because we somehow feel threatened.



We may mask that feeling in saying that we’re offended or appalled. We may mask it a variety of other ways too but it all comes back to the fact that we feel threatened. Maybe not for our lives or livelihood but deep down we feel a threat.

Listen to me, people are going to call Kim and Amber: hoes, attention whores, hood rats, ghetto, talentless, vapid, ratchet and plain out stupid until they’re at the pearly gates finding out the real truth. I’d even venture out that there will be some women who are standing at the pearly gates finding out from God that their body count is higher than Kim’s and still claiming that Kim’s a hoe and they’re not.

To men who feel the need to label these women, I put y’all in the same group as the people who claim girls are thots, jump-offs or gold diggers. Truth be told, we don’t know what motivates anyone but ourselves unless we’re told. Furthermore, we need to stop acting like we’re not enabling this behavior by building a platform. You can’t claim to make it rain in the strip club one minute and then say these gold diggers are after your money. Quite frankly, if your personal brand is giving away money to women for nothing, you shouldn’t get mad at the women who accept it.

Men and women alike we are bother labeling people to make ourselves feel better. We need to know in this world that our lives are not that bad or we’d be driven into deep depression. When people complain that the news is all bad news and nothing good, I remind them that if the news was filled with good news it would make them hate their lives. We need to news to be filled with a bunch of people whose lives are worse than ours. Some people truly need Kim to be talentless and plastic in order to feel better about the fact that they have to struggle for things that seemingly come easy to her. Some people truly need Amber to be a hoodrat and a gold digger in order to feel better about respecting their “values and morals” and struggling through life because of it.

The truth is, life is a struggle. The fact that life is a struggle is beautiful. More people need to come to understand this and they wouldn’t have this desire and need to down one another for personal satisfaction. I think that in life I’ve been able to have the friends that I have and experience the things I have because I’m not always looking to label someone or judge them. I don’t know their story unless they tell me and when they tell me I believe them; I’m not questioning everything they say. Life is much more fulfilling when the pressure of judging another person is removed. It’s almost like a breath of fresh air. If I was you, I’d stop living in a polluted word.

Dr. J

Dr. J This guy has no idea what his position is at SBM.org. He's a well travelled blogger. You can find his work at SingleBlackMale, Necole Bitchie's BitchieLife.com, BuppietheBlog.com, The Book of Jackson, This Is The Dream. He has also published several guest posts at blog all around the blogosphere. He can't spell really good, and grammar isn't his strong suit, but he really appreciates you reading his posts for content, and content only. (I feel very Michael Vick'ish referring to myself in the 3rd Person.)
  • h.h.h.

    The truth is, life is a struggle. The fact that life is a struggle is beautiful. More people need to come to understand this and they wouldn’t have this desire and need to down one another for personal satisfaction.

    So true. Great post Dr J.

  • Hope Floats

    Judgements should be made by someone’s actions and behavior patterns, and not simply by looks or appearance. So when someone exhibits a certain behavior pattern, then they choose to categorize themselves with said behavior. Is it wrong that someone else calls them out on that behavior? I do understand, however, that categorizing is somewhat of a lazy technique to utilise in order to familiarize ourselves with one another. It takes away from the complexity of a person. This is why we shouldn’t hone in too much on each other’s flaws. Makes us forget about ours…

  • Damnpops

    This was all good. people live to judge, everyone needs to just keep their eyes on their own paper. What they eat don’t make us shit. Let them live their lives, they’re figuring this thing out like the rest of us.

  • Well said.

  • Cogito

    To judge and classify people, places and things is innately human and part of of all of our human constructs. However, more evolve beings endeavor to employ reasoning and restraint and not malicious emotional intent when doing so. Having said that, none of us are exempt from living a life without without offense. C’est la vie!

    • J2daT

      INDEED….Because what doesn’t get labeled and judged? I TRY to deal with folks on an 1-on-1 basis because I’ve found that people are not just cut-n-dry, black-n-white. When dealing with people on an individual basis, you tend to see deeper and wider [if you choose]. So throwing label around probably makes us feel ok but it is usually quite short-sighted…still, it is what it is…til you find out it is something else 😉

      • Cogito

        Your words are philosophically eloquent and I too, abide by similar precepts. I subscribe to the belief and practice of allowing people to tell and show me who they are rather than my placing them into boxes based on some learned preconceived notion; for to do otherwise, would be intellectually lazy on my part.

        My childhood growing up in the South was instructive to this end: I shared a proximity to many people who were not rhetorically eloquent or formally educated, but they were immeasurably wise. People who had legible pathologies and neurosis, but were paradoxically happy with a glass-half- full optimism. People who appeared to be kind but were in fact malicious narcissist etc.. The powers of observation are our friend.

        • J2daT

          Cogito, we are========>HERE<==========!
          🙂

        • Cogito

          My brudda!