The famous phrase “You never get a second chance to make a first impression” resonates so accurately in the dating world. Searching for and ultimately finding your Perfect Match can prove difficult, so you don’t need to sabotage yourself either. No one is born a dating expert, but avoiding these 4 common dating faux pas will help you avoid turning your chances with that potential special someone into a nightmare.
I’m no fashionista (I just learned how to pronounce “Givenchy” a few days ago), but I do know that presentation can enhance or sometimes substitute for substance. If I serve you a 5 course gourmet meal on a garbage can lid, it may be delicious but you’ll still think the dinner is trash. You should take care of the essentials before stepping out of the house.
Dress like you, and if that is a disaster, dress like the “you” that you want to be. We all have friends that have a great eye for fashion, so enlist their help in creating an ensemble to impress.
Hygiene & Grooming
Please make sure your are so fresh and so clean in all of the required areas. Your PH should be balanced beyond reproach. If you get ashy, lotion is your friend. I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but if I do, please do that.
Men get your hair cut. Ladies do what you do. You never know what people will notice. I’ve been on dates where I see chipped nails, and while I don’t really care, I’d be lying if I said that “Damn, women always make sure nails are on point for special occasions. Guess I ain’t special enough…” didn’t cross my mind at all.
Don’t fumble on the goal line by forgetting these intricate items.
In this era of communications and technology, we have so many outlets to distract ourselves. Take a look the next time you’re at a restaurant, and notice how many people will be on their phones. It’s unreal! Maybe those people have an understanding, but on a first date (really any date), you should be fully immersed in your date and THE date! If I took a woman on a first date and they spent more time on their phone than talking to me, I would think that either a) I’m boring as hell or b) she’s not interested. Needless to say, that would be the last date. Don’t ever give the impression that you have better things to do than converse and experience the person across from you. If you really aren’t feeling the date, still be respectful enough to complete the date without outwardly expressing your frustration.
Listen, we can engage in a never ending diatribe about gender roles in society, but one rule of engagement remains clear: if you agree to take someone on a date you should pay! I could not think of a bigger turnoff than a cheap date. If you would rather pinch pennies and worry about your bottom line than the comfort and happiness of your date, you just set yourself up to fail. I’m not even talking about using coupons on dates (although if you do PLEASE USE SOME TACT!!), but expecting your date to pay, especially if you’re the one who offered, is tasteless. Men, I don’t care if the woman asked you out, you’re paying. Even if she offers. Even if she tries to take the check. You should pay! Worry about date debit distribution (if you must) on date #5, not now.
When you get to a certain maturity level in your dating journey, you realize that money is miniscule compared to the experience. You worked up the confidence to ask your love interest on a date, to figure out what you were going to wear, what you would say, and every other detail for which you can antagonize yourself. Why would you want to disrupt the ambience by making money an issue? If saving a few dollars means more than a good first date, I have a message for you:
I would not juxtapose a first date to a confessional, but choosing to lie about anything could cost you in the short or long term. Don’t lie about stupid stuff, like how far you are away from meeting your date. Yes, I know that in most cultures, “I’m down the block” logically translates to “I’m not even dressed yet”, but I would suggest using the universal language known as THE TRUTH with the current apple of your eye.
Don’t stretch the truth about big stuff either, like whether or not you’re dating (or married. Yes I’m serious). Think of this first date like a first interview with a potential employer. You want to put your best foot forward while determining whether said employer would be a good fit for you too. At the same time, this shouldn’t become an intervention. Keeping the conversation light, but real talk will build a proper rapport among you, and you’ll know where you stand. It’s better to know that then to discover down the road that you were dating a charlatan.
Avoiding these common pitfalls, and being yourself will go a long way in your journey to find the person who is your Perfect Match. The road will be interesting, and at the very least you’ll have some hilarious stories to tell for the rest of your life!
To witness one of those hilarious dating journeys unfold, be sure to check out The Perfect Match, Starring Terrence J., in Theaters THIS FRIDAY! You can check the trailer HERE!
For more dating tips, watch the SBMail First Date Etiquette episode below: