Not included on this list: "I would never date a white girl."

In my former life, you could have expected a post called, “5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Listen to Women.”  They way I’m feeling these days, eh… you may see that post one day, but it doesn’t really interest me, probably would have only written it for your entertainment.  (This is an example of seeing the change in Dr. J, congratulate it, or he’ll think it’s pointless.)

Check out today’s mix from @CarverTheGreat, it’s called William Leonard Roberts, and it’s a nicely put together mix of Rick Ross tracks.  A tracklist can be found below, but download it here, or stream below:

Honestly, I don’t get upset when women make statements that I don’t agree with, or that I think are false.  I get upset when I’m listening to a woman explain something to me about her man and I’m caught between laughter and blurting out, “That fool is lying!”  Even in my own conversations with men, I find myself looking across the table with my best Bill Duke expression thinking, “This fool is full of ish.”

Me: I find myself troubled when I look at pictures of Rosa Acosta.
Him: She seem bad, but if you had money you would probably think different.
Me: I don’t have money though.
Him: She doesn’t do it for me, she comes across as ghetto.
Me: I don’t know what you’re talking about, you would wife down Rosa if she gave you two seconds before she went to the ladies’ room.
Him: Nah, I would never wife a girl down like that.  That’s not wifey material right there.
Me: [Thinks to himself, "Negro I’ve seen who you date and I know that your standards are way lower than you’re proclaiming right now. Rosa Acosta would easily be the most attractive women you’ve ever dated in your life and you can go head with all that bullsh*t."]

I’m well aware that the mention of the name, “Rosa Acosta” leaves a sour taste in a lot of women’s mouths.  If the way men gush over Rosa bothers you, make this list “Six things…” and make that the sixth thing you can take with a grain of salt from a man.  If not, let’s move on to my list.

1. They don’t like implants. – I can’t count the amount of conversations that I’ve had with men and women where men claim that they don’t find implants or plastic surgery attractive.  I think it was the big homie who said, “Natural breasts or Fake breasts? Trick question, the answer is breasts.”  That’s actually the gospel brought to your front door by Wisdom Is Misery and it’s true.  Men might claim to think that but when it comes down to it, they don’t mean that.  If non-matching panties don’t ruin the mood, then ass shots don’t either.  Seriously, stop and think for a moment of what a dude would do forced with the decision to take something down and his thought process was inundated with, “I’m not sure how I feel about ass shots.”
2. They mind if you got a sex tape. – Recently, video vixen and model Suelyn Medeiros released a sex tape.  I’ll just speak for myself, it had no effect on how I view her.  In fact, it only made my slight obsession a little worse.  It could be Suelyn or Kim Kardashian, it doesn’t matter, that tape doesn’t have anything to do with a man’s decision.  Of course, he’ll tell you that he wouldn’t date a girl like that, but that’s because he doesn’t want you thinking that he’s attracted to high-end women with no class.  But in the words of the late great Patrice O’Neal, “Be a dirty filthy whore.”  Do you really think it matters that she has a sex tape?  I got a friend who was using his girl’s laptop and came across a folder with the title, “[Her ex's name] Pictures.”  He clicked on it and it was a video in there of some dude and his girl doing a Mr. Marcus & Karrine Steffens impersonation.  He watched the whole thing and never told his girl he found it.  Anytime she didn’t want to put out, he knew he could just watch that video.
3. Their credit is above 800. – Men like to boast about their credit score because women want to know their credit score.  In reality, “I got a couple past due bills I won’t get specific.”  I’ll keep it 100 and funky, it’s almost impossible to get it above 800 unless you’ve never made a mistake in your life.  Raise your hand if you had roommates in college or in early adulthood that may have left you ass’ed out on a couple utility bills?  Raise your hand if you ever had a “I just ain’t got it” moment in your life?  Raise your hand if you carry a 30-day past due balance on your cell phone bill because you know that on the 31^st day is when they turn it off?  Yeah, 1x is the death of persona.  Raise your hand if you won’t pay your rent until the 10th this month?  Christmas and New Year’s threatening the entire month of January’s bills?  800 credit score, my arse.
4. They want a supermodel. – “I mean I’m not being picky, She don’t even have to a big ol’ ass you know, Just something well proportioned to her body, You know a nice little tail you know.” – Andre 3000.  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  There are only a few men out there who really want to date a supermodel, I can’t find them.  Next time you are at a nightclub or strip club, let me know if you see any men in awe over the super tall and skinny women in there.  Nope, not going to happen.  Men want something they can reach out and grab, it’s like Toys R Us, we like grabbing the toy and touching to see how it works.  En Vogue had it right.  Put down the fruit bowl, and pick up a bowl of ice cream.
   

   In the middle of authoring this post, I had an epiphany.  Thought i’d share it with you today.  I always thought that sex for a man was completely unfair because you have to focus on NOT doing something.  That’s just horribly frustrating.  Well, I imagine that for women trying to have TNA without ever getting to the point of fat, has got to be the female equivalent.

5. They don’t cheat. – Asking a man if he’s ever cheated is like asking a woman how many men she’s slept with.  You have to ask the question several times and multiple ways to get a straight answer out of her.  “Have you ever slept with another woman while you had another woman who was referring to you as her boyfriend?  Wait, do you think that having sex outside of your relationship whether meaningful or not is considered cheating?  Man, just give me your definition of cheating so I can understand your answers.”  Some of the greatest men to ever walk this planet happened to have some faults and cheated once or twice.  It happens, the men will keep this to ourselves and you young ladies keep your real body counts to yourselves too.

Every man who says one of these statements is not lying, but if someone held a gun to your head and asked you to bet your life on it, “Always pick, “He’s lying!””  This list isn’t all inclusive, so if you have a few others that you would like to add feel free to list them below in the comments.  I took a handful of the most popular ones that drive me crazy, I’m sure you’ve got a few that bother you just as much.

- Dr. J

Today’s Tracklist: Tracklist: 1. Here I Am, 2. All I Really Want, 3. No. 1, 4. Hello Good Morning, 5. Break My Heart, 6. Fly Together, 7. Magnificient, 8. Aston Martin Music, 9. Super High, 10. I Love My Bitches — Check out Carver The Great at his personal website, where you can also find booking information and more music!

Original content from Single Black Male. Click here to check out more from Dr. J.

Another low point for Black people... what's next? Spending money to spend money on marked up items? #cover

Let me tell you something, you cannot bury words.  Anybody who tries to bury a word is dumb as hell.  So yes, in addition to thinking that a slickback perm is still okay in 2011, the Reverend Al Sharpton will have to go ‘head with any notion that we are going to bury the n-word anytime soon.  I’ve come to grips with the n-word in my own way.  I think I shared my story about a friend who said the n-word one time and I had to tell him if he kept it up I would have to watch him get his ass beat because I can’t jump in the middle of race relations.  That’s not my place, maybe Obama can do that, but I refuse to get in the middle of a race war.  Nonetheless, I was beginning to think to myself about the history of the n-word and it came to me like an epiphany; The n-word is like The Ring, or the Quan, whoever got that joint basically has all the power.

As usual, we have a special themed mix for today’s post from @CarverTheGreat, this one is titled, The N-Word, download here or stream below:

When I thought back to the origin of the n-word, I drew a blank, so I made it up.  It came from white people trying to find a word to piss off Black people.  If you ever want to know anything about slavery, all Black people go to the Slavery Encyclopedia, Roots.  Roots is such an extensive and definitive history of slavery, you don’t need Cornel West or John Hope Franklin to explain anything to you about slavery anymore.  But basically, it says here in Roots that Black people never take kindly to you calling them outside of their name.  So I think whereas Black folks were calling themselves Negros, white people just thought, “here’s a great way to piss off Black people, let’s call them THIS!”  And just like that Black people waged a war on the word and its use in America.

And for a long time, that’s basically how things went with the n-word.  Backed up against the wall or in dire need of pissing some Black people off white people deployed their best weapon, the n-word.  Somewhere along the way, probably in like the 60s or 70s, Black people started using the n-word against other Black people to piss them off, or to distinguish themselves as better or more civilized negroes.  To each their own, dare to be different, you know Cain killed Abel.  It’s no secret but somewhere after Black people starting coming home from Vietnam in the early 70s and 1986, Black people cuffed the n-word and took it to a new level.  Equipped with the n-word we started telling white people, “F*ck the Police” and alerted them to the fact that Black people were breaking out of Compton into their nice neighborhoods.  And real talk, white people moved all their sh*t out of Inglewood and went to Hollywood and that was that, some of them even went to Malibu to be close to the water … just in case.

And for about 15 years, the n-word was just powerful.  It was powerful for three reasons:

1) Once again, white people made something up and we started doing it and made it better.  Put that on the list with sports and presidents.

2) White people couldn’t say it.  Have you ever heard a white person say the n-word in good faith?  Talk about a heavy preface, also known as a blatant lie.  They always say something to preface it like, “I don’t use this word, in fact, I hate it, but it just makes it easier to explain this [whatever the hell they talking about].”

3) It’s the perfect way to classify everybody.  I joked with my boy Spearmint the other day that it would be a lot better if we went back to Middle School when everybody was a “n*gga.”  For example, “Yo these white n*ggas at my school be tripping, they try and get buck, but those Chinese n*ggas don’t give a f*ck.”  See?  Back in the day it was an equal opportunity word for describing everyone.  (White people still couldn’t say it.)

But recently something went wrong.  I knew we were going to have some problems when I got to college and found out that Latinos were using the word.  Now Dominicans is Black so that’s cool, they can rock out with it.  They was slaves way longer than Haitians, that’s a consolation prize.  It’s the rest of them that was getting the side eye from me.  Not because I had a problem with them using it but because I knew where this would lead.  And yes you guessed it, it would lead to people like DJ Khaled screaming the n-word on everything like that sh*t was cool.  My first reaction to Khaled was, “so we just going to let EVERYBODY use the word now aren’t we?”  No disrespect, but if you asked me what my biggest frustration is about everybody who ain’t Black it’s that, “Black people can’t have sh*t, can we?”

(Author’s note: I have chosen not to discuss when people who were born in Africa come to this country and then use the word.  I am very undecided on that.  For one, I don’t think they call each other that word, they just call us, African-Americans, that word.) 

And if it wasn’t bad enough that we took off all restrictions on who could use the word and who could not, then we started letting it get under our skin when drunk enabled white people used the word.  I never gave a sh*t about Mel Gibson or some chick from Bad Girls Club saying the n-word during a drunk rant.  I knew something that they didn’t know; they were about to lose everything they had for saying that dumb sh*t.  The problem is, we’re now devaluing the use of the word by Black people by allowing others to use it, and also letting it get under our skin again.

All jokes aside, words have letters and meanings, but they don’t have power unless you give them power.  We have to decide if we’re going to give the n-word power, and if we’re going to give it power, then we’re going to have to decide who is going to hold that power.  Is the n-word going to become a crass word for saying, “my boy”?  Or are we going to tell our fellow Black folks that grew up in all white neighborhoods that every time they let their white friends get away with saying it, they are effing with the church’s money?  Is our relationship with the n-word a treasure or curse?  That’s the real question that needs to be answered.

- Dr. J

Original content from Single Black Male. Click here to check out more from Dr. J.

Shout out to your mirror and the extra work it has to put in as you self-diagnose yourself.

I had a post lined up for you guys until late last week a friend of mine asked me to look at a picture of a young lady in a bathing suit. I took a look at it and I said, “Yo, I told you that sunglasses is like pencil skirts to me. They deceive men.” And then he said, “lol… no, she look like she working with something.” I took another look at the picture and concluded, “Yeah, she do, but that look like it could be fat-back.” Now everybody knows exactly what I’m talking about, fat back makes men think they have a chick with a phatty, but it turns out that’s just a collection of fat stored on her back. This got me to thinking, and I replied, “This would make a great post.” (As if we’ve had any shortage of posts on SBM.org lately that speak to the Passion of the Black Female Body Image.) I thought I had some things to add to the discussion though, things that were worth noting.

Fresh new mix from my main man, DJ Todd aka @carverthegreat, this one’s called, The Low End Thoery, Vol.2 – Callipygians:

First let me start off by saying this about myself, I’m not a breasts or butt guy. I’m more like a proportioned guy. I will also admit that Cherokee D’Ass scares me. I’m terrified of Buffie the Body. And I think that people have been gassing Pinkie for years. I just don’t see what’s all that attractive about her. However, what I will tell you is that although I’m more likely to be impressed by a flat stomach and a nice pair of legs, I can speak the lingo and I can diagnose some booty with the best of them. It shouldn’t surprise you that last night when I’m playing the Single Ladies drinking game, although Lisa Raye’s poor acting skills force me to listen to the show on mute, I’m not above, standing at attention in my football pose and saying, “YAMCEPTIONAL PERFORMANCE” every time she graces my TV screen.

(For those of you who haven’t heard of the Single Ladies drinking game, it goes a little something like this, you take a shot for any of the following; (1) A booty shot of Stacey Dash, (2) a booty shot of Lisa Raye, (3) every time Stacey slaps Lisa Raye on the booty, (4) TWO SHOTS for every booty shot of the white girl, because as I’m sure you’ve heard me say before, “that white girl got [ass] for days,” and (5) the first person to note that Stacey Dash is not wearing a bra doesn’t have to drink, but everyone else has to take a shot. As a word to the wise, Stacey has not worn a bra in the last ten years.)

Nonetheless, Single Ladies affords me the opportunity to break down, in my personal opinion, the various types of booties.

1) Stacey Dash, “Petite” – I can’t lie, I think Stacey Dash’s figure on this show is perfect. In my opinion, every guy’s likes are different. If there’s one thing about a body image article written by a man that you have to keep in mind, it’s that all men are different. I like athletic bodies like Stacey Dash, but some men will tell you she’s skinny. The best way to really tell if a chick is “petite” is if she has those dimples on her lower back.

2) Lisa Raye, “The Badaonkadonk” – This is often times referred to as a fatty or yams. Lisa Raye has put in work over the years and she garners respect for her role in the Player’s Club. It’s amazing though, Sade never changed a thing about her voice or art from the time she initially debuted and she’s a legend. Lisa Raye hasn’t improved her acting since Player’s Club and it shows. (And in reference to our discussion last week, is anybody going to ask her why she won’t change her name back from Lisa Raye-Misick? Didn’t that divorce end messy? She’s holding on a little too hard.)

3) Charity Shea (aka that white girl), “Wide Load” – You always have to be careful trying to say that some white girl has a booty. A lot of times men see wide hips and they think she has a fatty. Not Charity though, I don’t assess the booty from behind, I need to side profile. But next time you’re walking down the street make sure you take a look at the side profile before you declare a white woman to be a “whooty.” (I hate that term by the way.) Charity’s got that now & later flow, you know, she stops walking now but her booty stops later.

Now it’s a few others worth noting that are not often seen on television, but they need to be mentioned just for good measure.

1) Bubbles – This is that type of joint that’s tight, and doesn’t really have a lot of jiggle to it. If she jumps up and down it stops when she does. But that don’t make it small, she could still be packing something back there. A good way to spot these is when you look at a girl’s jeans and the booty just slides up above the waist of her jeans. That booty will not be wavered or break stride, it sticks together and for that reason it’s always searching for a way out.

2) Slim Joints – Now you have petite and you have slim joints. Like Stacey’s got a full joint, it’s just small and petite. Don’t sleep on the slim joints though. That’s when not only does she have those dimples on her lower back, but she got them on both sides of behind too. You usually see this with models, not named Rosa Acosta. (Is it any secret that Rosa is a Hot Tamale?)

3) Noassatall – A lot of this comes down to genetics, and childbirth. I don’t know but I come to notice that a lot of women never get the donk back like they had before they had kids. And then sometimes they just never had one to begin with. That can happen. Chances are if nobody in your family had a great big old booty, you won’t have one either.

4) Good GoogleyMoogely – #Freesass, #ILoveSerena, see the difference between this and the “Badaonkadonk” is the reaction on a guy’s face when a girl like this walks by. If you see a group of guys stop stare, mouth gaped open and their head snapped back, that right there is “Good GoogleyMoogely.” Little something about this one though; although a man really appreciates this when she’s in her twenties, if she don’t do something to tighten that up, she’s going to end up with some weight issues in her late 30s to 40s. A lot of women want to have humongous booties, but the one thing they not taking into account is the effect that has on your body. I had a friend who told me how much she loved her body after she gained a little weight. Then one day she thought she’d like to start jogging, these were her exact words, “Jay, so I go for a jog and I start jogging and I’m immediately like, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? Is that my butt jumping around like that?” And it was…

5) In Those Jeans – I’ll end with a story. I always tell this story about jeans and fatties in college. I was convinced that some women had awesome bodies of epic proportions when I first got to college. I remember I was trying to take something home one time after a campus party. And just to give a little background, although some girls like to be close to naked, for the most part in Upstate NY, most girls wore jeans and field boots. Anyway, this one Latina caught my eye and I’m thinking, “She’s got a donk.” I got her to the dorm room and those jeans came off and … it got real. As a young Patowan, I did not know anything about the wonders of contoured clothing, especially jeans with the ability to conceal some physical flaws of her lower region. It seemed as though Earth’s crust shifted when she took off those jeans. And for that I call that type of booty, “In those jeans” because it was best if the booty stayed, “in those jeans.”

- Dr. J, asks that we all bow our heads and thank God for Yoga Pants.

About Today’s Dr. J & DJ Todd’s Mix, download here, Playlist: 1. Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot, 2. Pull Over That Azz Too Phat by Trina, 3. Shake That Monkey by Too Short, 4. Back That Azz Up by Juvenile, 5. Donk by Soulja Boy, 6. Ms. New Booty, 7. Doin Da Butt by E.U., 8. Let Me See The Booty by The-Dream, 9. Da Baddest by Big Kuntry King & Trey Songz, 10. Booty Work by T-Pain, 11. Dance (Azz) by Big Sean, 12. Ms. Phat Booty by Mos Def, 13. Slow Down by Bobby V, 14. In Love Wit Yo Booty by John Blu, 15. Big Ole Butt by LL Cool J

Original content from Single Black Male. Click here to check out more from Dr. J.

“Being born here does not make you an American. I am not an American, you are not an American. You are one of the 22 million black people who are the “victims” of America. You and I, we’ve never see nay democracy. We didn’t see any… democracy on the-the cotton fields of Georgia, wasn’t no democracy down there. We didn’t see any democracy. We didn’t see any democracy on the streets of Harlem or on the streets of Brooklyn or on the streets of Detroit or Chicago. Ain’t no democracy down there. No, we’ve never seen democracy! All we’ve seen is hypocrisy! We don’t see any American Dream. We’ve experienced only the American Nightmare!” – Malcolm X

This season of Dexter brought us Jordan Chase a man who dubbed this term, “Take It Now!” It means so much to me, because as a Black man in America let me reiterate that nothing is given to us, we must take our opportunities, seizing them at every opportunity.  This country did not intend on making a place for us at the table, so there’s a lack of infrastructure in many facets of our community.  We’ve got to right the wrongs of hundreds of years of bad logic.  Today’s points are:

7.       Horrible Family Statistics – [Insert factual information about divorce rates, unwed mothers, single mothers, men who leave them, and men who have children with different women.  These are the men who actually displace their own family when the government will do it for free.]

8.       Equating keeping it real to the ghetto – This used to surprise me in college, but if you came from a good home with two parents who could actually afford to send you to college without financial aid, you were looked down upon.  I had a friend who used to have to sneak to the bursar’s office to drop off her daddy’s check.  Meanwhile, keeping it real was HEOP and SSSP.  In my mind, I was baffled that if your parents somehow made it up out the hood and provided well for you, that made you less of a real Black person.

9.       Acting like sh*t is cool with white people – Most touched on this a little on his post, but peep this; when white folk say or do something that’s not cool, you need to let them know.  A lot of Black people were just trying to be cool with their white coworkers and let them get away with telling Dave Chappelle jokes that wasn’t funny at all when they said it.  You don’t have to get violent or physical, but don’t let ignorance and racism rock.  Simply explain to them, “B*tch, I don’t care if you are trying to tell me a Dave Chappelle joke, don’t ever let me hear you using the n-word around me again, like that shit is cool.  You got N.R.A., well I got , N.W.A, and I’ll kick your a*s.” (On the low, I think that white people have to use the longest preface ever whenever they need to use the n-word.  In high school, my 10th grade History teacher spent a whole class on the word, before using it in a lesson the next day.)

10.   Stop trying to pass or satisfy – I had a conversation with a guy that I am mentoring and he told me that he had learned to accept failure.  I told him, that’s unacceptable.  What I would rather him learn is that he should always strive for perfection, and do the impossible.  He had it the wrong way.  I didn’t want him to become complacent with saying, “Don’t be afraid to fail.” One of the keys to successful people is their inability to believe in the concept of failure.  Moreover, I’ve noticed that Black people have a tendency to talk about passing or satisfying.  Demanding excellence has gone by the waste side and when you demand it, you’re told, “It’s not that serious.” People are settled to say, “Everything turned out ok, so what’s the big deal?” Young teen mothers are talking to their young pregnant children and hearing, “Mommy you had me at 15 and you turned out okay.” Why is it that there aren’t more Black students who graduate Magna Cum Laude?  I’d argue because most Black people go to college to get their education and a degree, nobody said sh*t about Magna Cum Laude.  In their opinion it sounds like a makeup company.

So what are we talking about here, and where are we going?  In the past three posts, I’ve touched on some issues of enlightenment for everyone to think about.  Again, I’m not trying to bash Black folk, I think a lots of things about Black America is inspirational.  Even our faults make us strong.  What I hope to do is to inspire conversation, here and in other venues.  I’m interested to know your thoughts on this post and the previous posts.

Original content from Single Black Male. Click here to check out more from Dr. J.

""Rosa sat, so Martin could walk, so Obama could run."

“I want to talk to you about morals. The morals of the young people today is going to get them in big trouble. I’m telling you, because they act like they don’t know the difference between right and wrong. And this is the truth. And see, one of the reasons is the parents. The parents are not taking care of their children. They are not telling them the difference between right and wrong. But then… [Aunt May, Aunt April both roll their eyes and turn to leave]  Wait, now. No, no, no. No, ma’am. You have to listen. Because part of the responsibility is the children’s, because this is *their* lives. It’s not their mama’s or their papa’s. I’m telling you, they have to think for themselves. Even if their mama and papa didn’t do something about them. Girl, look, the children have to think and try their best to come on up, come on up.” – Aunt June

As we continue our series, I would like to bring attention to the need for us to lead by example and strengthen our future.  We’ve got to show our future how to act, and the best way to do that is to show them that we are dedicated to the betterment of ourselves as well.  Today’s points are:

4.       Monkey see, Monkey do [Pun Intended] – I’m never going to stop saying this, most Black people didn’t even know what Barack Obama stood for even as they were casting their votes for him.  They voted for him because they heard all the other Black people they rolled with was voting for him.  Somewhere in Black America we’ve lost individuality, we’ve become one of the most homogenous races on the planet because we suffer from groupthink.  We are so afraid to say, “That doesn’t make sense to me, and I disagree.” Do you remember back in the day how everyone wore Jordans?!  Provided you could afford them, the whole school had Jordans.  Fiscally speaking, Jordans and Nintendo video games were the worst invention in the hood.  I’ll tell you why, people lived in the projects but managed to have several versions of the same shoe.  Myself, (I was middle-class so, lol) I had the white-black, blue-grey, red-black, and then the all black Jordans … and that just didn’t make any sense.  And as it pertains to Nintendo games, my best friend bought it, so I went and bought it too.  Never mind, that we always played the game together, we needed two copies, and here’s the thing, I didn’t even like the stupid ass game.  I hope someone understands this analogy.

5.       The Way We Raise Our Children – I almost got my ass killed for having an intellectual conversation with my parents about whippings.  I ain’t do nothing that a white kid would do like call the cops or say, “F*ck you dad!” I’m still here ain’t I?  But my point was this, “Doesn’t it seem a little odd that white people don’t beat their kids and they grow up to be very successful in life?  Black people look down on the way white people raise their kids, but aren’t they yielding results?  They are cussing out their parents and getting accepted to Ivy League schools.  Meanwhile, whipping Jerome still didn’t help him, and now he’s looking at a G.E.D. and trade school.  And don’t you think that slapping your child in the head every time they do something wrong is a little off?  That can cause concussions and even Parkinson’s disease over a long period of time.  I’m sure you’re not hitting me that hard, but let’s see, you’re not hitting me “that hard” from the time I’m two until I turn seventeen?” My mother waited for a few minutes, then proceeded to beat my ass.  The problem was, I dropped some deep sh*t, but I also had one of the most ignorant Progress Reports in the history of DCPS.  I had the conversation with my mother later and she agrees … somewhat.

6.       Refusing to look in the mirror – I’m not trying to mess with my own promotion, but let me be real with you for a second.  The reason why these sex, dating and relationships blogs are so popular is because it’s a writer talking about what’s wrong in the opposite sex and a reader saying, “That isn’t true.”  It’s a perfect give and take relationship, and with comment sections, it goes VIRAL.  A Black man can tell you why Black women are single, but when asked why he’s single, “I can’t find anyone to date.”  But this extends itself across the entire race on many subjects.  We are never looking in the mirror at our graduation rates and unemployment rates, we make excuses and blame institutionalized racism to justify our faults.  There is a lack of self-examination in the community and it’s killing us.  I was telling my younger frat brother the other day, it’s not about screaming at our college chapter when things go wrong, it’s about how have I contributed to this problem, how can I be a better mentor to a younger brother?  We’d love to be perfect and thus we strive for it, unfortunately we are not, so self-examination is the only way to get there.

Hope I didn’t lose too many folks this week.  To be continued…
Thoughts? 

Original content from Single Black Male. Click here to check out more from Dr. J.

#CMONSON

“There’s this psychiatrist, a lady named Frances Chris Walson. She has a theory about the black man in America. She says because of the system of racism in this country, the black man is meant to think of himself as a baby. A not yet fully formed being, who has not yet realized his full potential. To support her claim, she offers the following: First off, what does a black man call his woman? Mama. Secondly, what does a black man call his closest acquaintances? His boys. And finally, what does a black man call his place of residence? The crib.” – Jody Summers

Powerful quote.  I’m going to touch on some issues that I feel Black folk need to change right away.  Not wasting a single moment to procrastinate, but to attack these issues head on.  It’s Black History Month, and I’m sure that we could do a series of posts on Black relationships, but for SingleBlackMale.org, we talk about that every day.  Let’s talk about something else that affects single Black men and women.  I’ll do my best to weave in some intricacies of relationships, but the overhanging objective is not relationships but the prosperity of Black America.  You won’t see a lot of big words from me, so I’m sure if you want to lace the comments with the big words and theories, that’s cool.  In my opinion, I want to say it plain and say it straight so that everyone from the youth to the old, the uneducated and educated get the message.  We haven’t done our best with reading comprehension in the community, but now’s not the time to increase the gap by producing information that only well educated Black folk can understand.

There are ten points I want to make, in the words of Obama, this is our “Sputnik” moment as Black folk in America.  Some of my points will be funny, poignant, hurtful and motivational.  My goal isn’t to offend anyone, so if you take offense to something, I’m probably not going to argue with you in the comments section.  I know that some of you are the exception, and some of you roll in crews that you’ve never met one of these people, that’s cool.  I don’t roll with anybody who is illiterate, and I actually don’t know any either.  But if I was to sit here and tell you that illiteracy is not a problem in the Black Community, I’d be a fool.  With that said, let’s begin this three-part series.

1.       Stop being phat – Real talk there was this girl in my high school who developed a little faster than everyone, she had probably a fatty and D-cups by the 11th grade.  She was “phat to death” as they used to say back in the day.  I saw that girl the other day and she is “close to death.”  She was on the train standing because, well let me not make jokes.  But I could tell that she had met that harsh reality that if Black folks don’t stop condoning obesity in our community despite the alarming statistics about diabetes and heart disease, we’re not going to make it.  When she was in high school, her doctor should have probably recommended she start taking it down.  She was probably geeked up that all the dudes was checking for her and that she had a little bust.  At this point in her life now, she ain’t got none of that.  I’m sure that if she has a man, if he ain’t the same way, he probably hates the sight of her.  Hey, dudes take note too, you used to be 6’ and 185 lbs, and now … you’re like 5’11” and 250lbs.  You don’t hold your weight well, and your wife is a little upset whenever you’re on top.  Get it together homie.

2.       Affinity for chicken – This may surprise a lot of you, but it’s no secret that Black people love the chicken so much, there is however a secret people have been keeping from Black people about chicken.  It’s the epitome of Black America.  Chicken actually has little to no nutritional value.  It’s almost like eating Ramen.  Compared to all other forms of protein it’s the worst.  Yeah, you can get something out of it, but in reality, you’re getting the worse of the worse.  In a nutshell, you’re filling yourself up on something, which in the grand scheme of things doesn’t matter.  Also evolution tells us that people are most attracted to those things that we’ve had less during our time in evolution.  Because chickens come from eastern Asia, then spread all the way to Europe, then brought to America, in fact, chicken didn’t get to Africa until the mid 1700s, and that was only Egyptians.  That’s the real reason why Black people love chicken so much, they never had it before.

3.       The Programming on BET and CW – They took off the News and replaced it with The Game?!  Are you serious?  There is nothing cool about the programming on BET and CW.  And you know why Viacom has no intentions on changing it?  Because Black people watch that crap.  Not only do they watch it, Viacom doesn’t even need to run commercials for their own shows anymore because Facebook and Twitter have allowed corporations to cut their marketing budgets by 75% due to the immense amount of ignorant Black people tweeting about it.  Demand something better out of your programming, and if you don’t get it, stop watching it.  I think Rosci is beautiful, that’s my personal preference, maybe not yours.  But I refuse to watch 106 & Park because compared to every other live show, it sucks, and the sh*t is not even LIVE!  I know that whenever Carson Daly gets stuck watching 106 & Park he uses the n-word frequently and often.

To be continued…
Thoughts? 

Original content from Single Black Male. Click here to check out more from Dr. J.

I’m an honest person; there is no front in me at all, each day I get older the more I don’t care enough to BS. That tired excuse of “I hang with her to get girls” guess what, that’ll get you one and done, because unless she’s a Mighty Morphing Power Ratchet she’s not going to let you run through every friend she has. You may get one, but that’s it. I can get one, why would I have to fake a friendship to do something I can do on my own? Dudes say that because they are embarrassed that they fell into the friend zone. Homie, you’re not using her to get to her besties—you fell into the friend zone. Now you have to save face so you BS me about the reason you’re bff’s with a broad.

One of my best friends is a girl, yeah yeah yeah; I just read what I wrote too. She’s sexy, funny, smart, and doesn’t give an F about anything but shoes and money. A) I screwed up somewhere along the line. I screwed up so bad that she even had to nerve to ask me why I never tried to have sex with her, then rubbed it in my face saying she would have gave it to me easily. But she’s my friend. And it’s to the point where I can’t even think of her in that way. What fun is that?

Come get me. I go pick her up.

Let’s go eat. I pay.

I hate men. I listen.

I’m broke. I give her money.

My male friends ask for is a few dollars in-between paychecks, and I make them pay it back, she’ll burn me and say “you got money” and all I can do is call her a four letter word that begins with a C. At the same time she buys me better birthday and Christmas gifts than anyone and has supported and motivated me since the day I met her.  When I proclaimed that Black Girls Are Easy she said “yeah we are” how can I not love that? This girl is like my girlfriend. I have to be there for her, I can’t say I’m playing UFC, I don’t feel like talking about your date. I can’t tell her to catch the bus in the rain like I would my boys, because she’s my girl… but she’s not my girl! I’m not getting anything from her but love and affection above the waist. She puts her head on my shoulder or cuddles with me, I feel like a chump because people are looking at us in public like “awww”. No—I’m a lame, I’m not beating this at all!

I want to tell this to every man in America– stay away from platonic relationships. Getting a text saying “Thanks yo, I love you” makes me smile, then I look over to my fiancé and show her and she says, “You’re so gay for her”. Don’t be Gay for these H**s, be a better man than me. If you fail to hit—erase her number.

Original content from Single Black Male. Click here to check out more from NC 17.

I'd like a 5th of this, please.

In America today there is a shortage of one of the most prized commodities on the market and that is Successful Black Men. Allow me to clarify, successful single Black men. With that said, being a part of this fraternity of extraordinary men is not easy, but I’m a proud member and newly elected Secretary of Public Relations. I would like to begin by issuing the following press release:

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Dear Black women,

Given the shortage of successful Black men in America, the following guidelines have been drafted, proposed and ratified to the Rules of Engagement of Dating for Black women desiring to pursue deeper connections with Black men.

1) Women will now be required to ask men for their numbers, call them first and pay for the first date.

To be perfectly honest with you, there’s no reason why successful Black women come a dime a dozen and you can’t find a dozen successful Black men in a major city, yet we are breaking our necks to go out on dates with you. We should be getting in the club for free. Successful Black men free all night! Also, I think women should call us. “Call us first” does not include using Voicemail forwarding to try and throw the god for a loop. You call until we pick up. All is fair in love and war.

2) When a successful Black man does not reach out to you, or call you, please interpret the following:

a. He’s playing hard to get – He is not responsible for making it easy for you. Some women think that just because they show a brother a little attention we should drop everything we are doing and start trying to wife them down. You forget, according to these rules that’s par for the course.

b. You’re not the only one trying to make the team – Every good player knows that you have to field interest from several different teams before making a decision. I can’t spend all my time with one team at the neglect of my other suitors. Therefore, do not assume that you are the one and only unless you are told you are the one and only. (This piece of advice will take every woman, of every color, far in life.)

c. He’s waiting for you to prove to me that you are a priority – Women will swear up and down they are not calling some guy or asking him out because that’s his responsibility. Well, under the new regulation, the roles are reversed and women will be responsible for proving their worth. Alicia Keys said a real man knows a real woman’s worth. That’s true, but you women are hard to find, so prove it.

By order and decree of the World Alliance of Successful Men, in association with the Successful Black Men of America, we announce these rules to you. Since, we still hold the power in this country, we are taking a page from our Honorary Brother Obama, we don’t really need your input to pass this legislation. Thanks for your continued support.

With Regards,

Dr. J
Secretary of Public Relations

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We will now take comments from the SBM massive. To keep it 1-hunnit with you all, more Black men feel this way than you think. We find it so hard to believe that we have worked so hard to be successful and become the crème of the crop only to find out that we need to break our necks for Black women. One of the biggest criticisms of Black women is their independent attitude, or the fact that they act like they don’t need a man. Well let’s keep it real for a second, you need me, much more than I need you. I’m begging for an argument on why I’m wrong.

Original content from Single Black Male. Click here to check out more from Dr. J.

In celebration of all of those who don’t have to work and don’t have school … I present: A moment of ignorance (actually 10).

For those of you who have been around long enough to remember, I would share random nuggets of absolute ignorance for you … because we all need to appreciate and recognize ignorance … to go out and crush it!

This is a collection of Maury Povich Paternity Tests.  While I love how #10 just gets up and walks away, I give #2 props for his athleticism.  #4 gets props for the tag team effort … allowing him to celebrate while someone else “tells them off”.

But … at the end of the day #1 earned his spot.  Watching his celebration almost makes me what to get wrongfully accused by some chic just so I can celebrate like that.

I mean … for real … is there a happier moment in a hood ninja’s man’s life?

Without further ado …

10 Best Paternity Reactions

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqFfeM-KUOI]

Happy Columbus Day!

- SBM aka “He don’t even look like me … look at inside his nostrils!”

Original content from Single Black Male. Click here to check out more from SBM.

So … as I try and bring intelligence, awareness, and enlightenment to all of my readers … I feel I must interject a certain bit of ignorance to keep the universe in proper balance.

I mean … what good is sugar without having tasted the sour taste of a lemon … feel me.

Anyone who has been around for awhile knows I’m a big fan of dirty south rap … especially when Chopped & Screwed (aka Slowed & Throwed).  As a result … my ears are bombarded with the type of ignorance that could easily corrupt your average individual … luckily I am of superior intellect capable of not succumbing.

So … without further ado … I present … an SBM Moment of Ignorance

Gangsta Boo (Crotch Grabbing)

Three 6 Mafia – Tongue Ring

[Gangsta Boo]
I be f*cking this n*gga
straight corruping this n*gga
p*ssy wet as a river
you need a boat for me n*gga
I be hot as a fire
oh my God I’m on fire
I be tellin’ these boys
I do my thang when I’m higher

N*gga only when I’m in the mood for a quick
a quick ride on the dick
through a razor in my mouth
straight slicin’ yo’ sh*t

I’ve loved this song since High School … but back then I lacked the intelligence to appreciate the ignorance (think about it … it makes sense).

This is just a clip from her verser … but she is wet as a river that you a need a boat for her … and I thougt Aquafina Flow was hot.

And to tie it all together … she says she is gonna put a razor in her mouth … and cut up someone’s dick while giving head.

I want you to read that all again, then watch the video below … and then really really appreciate Barack Obama and all he has done.

That’s it … go enjoy your day

SBM out …

Oh yeah … I forgot to mention … Gangsta Boo has found God and now goes by Lady Boo.  See … all that ignorance ended on a positive note.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKuBS2MH_AI]

Original content from Single Black Male. Click here to check out more from SBM.