The practicalities of relationships can be worked out if chemistry, compatibility, love and respect are in place. The man and the woman can discuss their needs and find a happy medium. Practicalities can always be worked out in that case. If I want my man to wine and dine me from time to time, then I can raise that topic because the platform for compromise and understanding and chemistry is there. And if you're excited about the person, you will find a way to make things happen.

But if there is no chemistry, a small measure of "compatibility", some "love", and a decent amount of "respect", no amount of working the practicalities out will help the relationship THRIVE. Sure, it can be "maintained". And if that's what you signed up for, then good for you. But I'm not going to invest myself in a relationship only for it to be "maintained and satisfied" for the duration of the relationship. That's why relationships just stagnate, then fall off, NO CHEMISTRY. Satisfaction and maintenance can only take you so far then it comes time to just trade it in for a better model so our life can be run more smoothly and efficiently.

Think about it like this, say you got a job that you wake up excited for everyday. Makes it easier to go to work doesn't it? Even when the day is hard or challenging, the fact that you're still excited about it, makes those challenges easier to overcome, no? Because with excitement, comes innovation and solutions. When you're excited about someone or something, it's easier to solve any problem that might come simply because you are willing to explore and find the solution.

Now let's reverse the situation. You get a job, that you're just simply SATISFIED with it because it fulfills your basic needs; the pay is good, the benefits are good, even some of your coworkers are cool. But you have no desire or excitement for the work that you do. NONE. Sure, you can maintain it for a while, keep up appearances, but pretty soon, you're going to slip and become distracted because the job and what it entails simply doesn't keep your attention. Work habits slip up, job performance goes down and pretty soon, you either quit, get fired, or just accept the fact that you have a price for your misery.

Relationships pretty much work the same way. We need something that will keep our attention enough to want the relationship to thrive and "move up the ladder". Otherwise, you'll just be at the entry level position maintaining. And if that doesn't make sense in the career world, how could it make sense in the realm of relationships?

THIS RIGHT HERE.

It seems like men can go along the lines of, "She's cool, I'm cool, this is is cool. So we'll keep it cool." Or so it LOOKS like that. As for myself (I can't speak for all women), the practical checklist supplemented by the compatibility log doesn't do it for me, because I just know that I will be unsatisfied down the line. It's not so much that i don't want my man to neglect me (of course not) it's more of, " I don't want to be with a man that I don't feel anything for." And I have to honor that feeling or else it would just be a disservice to all parties involved. My last relationship ended because of that. I went the common sense route (good on paper, good in sex, wines and dines me, overall decent man) but when he told me that he loved me and it didn't register within me, I knew something was wrong, very very wrong. I kept it going, out of common sense and kept telling myself that it was just me being "guarded", but the truth was, there was simply no TRANSCENDING chemistry between us. We had the basic "mental" set if you will. I HAD to walk away.