Home Dating & Relationships Dating Stop Playing Games … Its OK to call him!

Stop Playing Games … Its OK to call him!


black woman on phone

This is gonna be a quickie, but its a follow up to some comments I received yesterday. Talking about the phone call importance below.

This is an old topic, and I’m going to have to revisit in detail.  For all of my life, I have heard girls talk about this.  I’ve heard the “don’t call him … you’ll give him too much power” to “you can’t act like you like him … he’ll lose all interest” to the ludicrous “Girl … ignore all his calls, don’t talk to him when u see him, and curse his momma out … that’s the way to get them”.

Come on!  I will admit there is something sickingly irresistible about a challenge and few people want things to come too easy.  BUT … as with almost everything else … it’s a thin line that must be walked.  Sometimes females are so obsessed with not showing they like a guy, he has no idea that she may like him, and may get tired and move on.  Some do it right, but some are in their 20’s making me relive high school.

Personally, most of the girls I have really liked have not been afraid to call.  I am really bad with calling, even when I really really like somebody.  Someone who isn’t afraid to call me gets SO many points.  It shows your serious, means you’re not playing games, and if it makes sure u earn a fair chance.

See Also:  Its My Perrogative: Let a man want what he wants!

But … I’ll admit, it can be overdone.  One person thought 4 phone calls a day was a good idea.  And would continue this day after day.  And all of the calls were getting ignored at some point.  Don’t be like her.

Someone else though would hit me up to see how I was doing about twice a week.  I had been bad with keeping in touch, but I did enjoy conversation with her.  It ended up turning into a pretty serious (although now defunct) situation.

Lastly, there is email and other forms of communication.  Don’t be scared to show a little interest by communicating … its Ok.

As I promised, I will have to follow up with a more in-depth analysis.  This time it was mainly calling…Mainly about the phone call importance. But I ask:

Is it good for a woman to call a man she is interested in, or must she wait until the end of time and not “give in”?


  1. I got a call early one morning from a woman that I was dating. It felt good to receive an "I was just thinking of you…" call. It intensified the mutual interest that was buidling up. SBM said that a woman can call to often – I think not. As long as there is something of substance to be said or flattery to be bestowed I say go for it. If a woman calls me 5 times in the hour and has nothing to say then she is a bucket head – plain and simple. Also, receiving few or no calls is a flat out sign of a lack of interest So, ladies – call a brotha if you're interested!


  2. I WILL NEVER CALL!!! joking…I am not saying a woman should flat out ignore a man she is interested in or that she should be rude. Absolutely not! She should be friendly and polite. But it is sometimes necessary to play that game to weed out the ones that are only after for that one thing. See how long he can stay interested in just being your friend and having conversations with you. Show enough interest to let him know that you like him but at the same time you would be cool if you were just friends or not. That’s my experience but then again….I am still single :-/

  3. Lurker, just make sure he knows your interested. Sometimes the desire to not seem overly interested, just comes of as "not interested".

    Sometimes that makes us want to try harder, to prove a point, or just for the fun of the chase. But a conquest is something to brag about to your friends, not someone to take home to mom. And if he doesn't try harder, he'll just move on.

    I mean … we want to be wanted too!

  4. In a perfect world, everyone could be completely open about feelings and thoughts. Women could call as much as they wanted, men would be upfront about their intentions. But in the real world, you how to show restraint. Not saying you should rules about when you do or don't call, but you can't be blatant about your interest. I've found, and this goes for men and women, that when you show a little disinterest it makes the other party pursue you more. Its the whole unattainable thing.

  5. Hi – It's good to find such topical stuff on the Web as I have been able to fiind here. I agree with most of what is written here and I'll be returning to this site again. Thanks again for publishing such great reading material!!

  6. It's really a matter of personal preference and comfort levels. I won't say that I will never call a guy first, but the odds of it happening are slim. If I'm interested enough and I'm the only one with a number, I'd probably do it. Otherwise, most guys who give me their numbers do so in vain. However, that's because they seem to think that a couple of compliments and some ambitious promises are enough to do the trick. Some guys practically force their numbers into my hands or phone. Yeah….no.

    But when it comes down to it, a guy will know whether or not I'm interested – although the latter generally proves more difficult to convey in as nice a way as I would like.


    i think it's ok for either party to call regularly as long as you aren't being a useless nag and have nothing to say! it's the best option for communication especially when you are getting to know each other and for one reason or another you can't spend time together face to face.

    I find that some men i deal with don't call as often as i would like, or even as much as i call them which makes me think they really don't want to be bothered, especially when i know they have to time to call, although they say they are cool with me calling them. a woman needs a man to reach out to her also.

    i recently met a guy online and who eventually asked to exchange numbers, so we did. i expected him to to call me, since he initiated exchanging numbers, and waited several days and never heard from him. I assumed he was too scared to call so i got up the nerve to call him and we had a great convo, laughed and joked until he said he had to go. He offered to call me back in a few hours and never did. I definitely felt some kind of connection and couldn't wait to talk to him again, but since he didn't honor his word and return the call, that was the end of that! i HATE feeling like i'm doing all the work….


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This