“You and Marcus been chilling hard for a minute … you two dating now?”
“Hell naw girl … thats just my FAB!”
He is always around you. You talk late into the night. You’ve slept with him … as in the same bed … but he didn’t touch you. You have cried in his arms after the guy you were sleeping with dumped you. He has taken care of you when you were sick. He has picked you up when your “man” was tripping. He is one of your best friends.
One problem … he is hopelessly in love with you … and you don’t want to believe it. This is your FAB … aka Fake Ass Boyfriend.
What makes him a Fake Ass Boyfriend though? Boyfriend? Its simple really. Your FAB provides all of the benefits of a boyfriend … companionship, emotional support, paid dates and dinners, all that good stuff … but he gets none of the benefits. While I feel relationships benefit women more than men, there are some benefits for us (*cough* … sex) such as monogamy and … well something … but the FAB gets none. In addition, your probably dating other guys that pale in comparison to this guy, and love to tell him all about it.
Yes … this poor excuse of a man is your FAB. You think he is your friend, your convinced he is nothing more than a buddy, you would even put money on it … but really he is just too soft let his intentions known. Women love attention, time, emotions, and all that soft sh*t. This sucker thinks if he provides them to you long enough, he will eventually win your heart … but this poor chump is mistaken.
As a case study, I will use the #1 FAB of all time … Steve Urkel. Actually, he had a step up on a lot of these “new age FABs” … because he was quick to tell Laura he loved her. There was no doubt in her mind. In Laura’s case, she decided to continue treating Steve as a friend. Maybe she thought if she acted like it and believed hard enough … Steve would eventually give up his infatuation and become nothing more than a friend. Poor Steve.
I plea with any woman reading this … please let these poor guys go. Let them move on and actually pursue someone who likes them back. The #1 excuse given to me by females when presented with this is “I can’t control him. If he wants to mow my lawn and take out my trash … thats on him. He should know I’m not interested”. But the thing you fail to realize is … this poor guy is incapable of letting go.
These FABs are also known as simps, punks, marks, punk marks, mark ass b*tches, bitch ass marks, punk b*tches, punk ass b*tches, punk tricks, trick ass marks, soft ass punk b*tches, etc.
Women … ready to let your FABs go and become the real man they need to be???
FABs … tired of being a punk b*tch ass mark and have guys like me laughing at you???