“When I get married I’m not working! My man can take care of that … I’m trying to stay home, cook and clean a little, and catch up on Maury! Kids … yeah I want some … but I’m not working no matter what”
What kind of bullsh*t is this?
OK, let me take a step back. First and foremost, I’m not talking about a stay at home mother. I mean just a wife, as in no kids, who feels the need to not work.
This topic came up when me and a female friend were talking about women working after marriage. She simply can’t see why anyone would want to stop working after getting married if there aren’t kids involved. She is a strong degreed black woman (as most my female friends are), maybe thats why 8 hours at home to her and letting her skills lapse, is a fate close to death … but maybe its something else.
When I told her I actually knew of women who became stay at home wives after college, gave her some current sitcoms popularizing the idea, and reveling her with the stories of girls telling me this was their goal in life, she became damn near outraged.
In this day and age, I just can’t see what would make someone want to stay at home all day long, doing little to nothing. I’m a lazy person, but even I would lose my mind. Sure there are clubs to join, books to be read, cleaning, cooking, knitting and whatnot, but if there aren’t any kids, how much can this take up??? To me, it just says you lack motivation and are lazy. If thats the case … why would I, or did I, marry you?
At one point in time I was talking to a girl who worked at Microsoft. As someone who has had some dealings with the company, she was probably making a minimum of $70k and I think she did engineering or computer science in school. This educated black woman was determined to quit whatever job she had as soon as the ring went on … “I do. I quit!” She saw no need for her to work, use her degree, or contribute financially after she got married. Even if her husband made less than her, she wasn’t working to me. If only I could show you all a picture of the look of pure disgust she cause my face to contort into.
There was a time when being a stay at home wife made sense. There was a time (back in the 1800s and early 1900s) where butter had to be churned, cows had to be fed, corn had to be shucked, floors had to be scrubbed on hand an knees, and washing machines consisted of a board and bucket. In addition, it was almost impossible for women to work and earn good money doing it.
That sh*t is no longer the case. Cleaning can be knocked out in hours with vacuum cleaners, robotic vacuums, and maid services. With microwaves, programmable ovens, the million other things the modern kitchen has … cooking is not an all day task. Hell, there are enough restaurants, carry outs, and delivery places to supplement even the most determined chef. There is simply no reason in 2008 that a childless wife needs to (or should want to) stay at home.
And worst of all is when I hear this from a woman with a degree. To me, what did you go to school for then?
If you want to stay home and become a published author, start your own business, or even get a degree from home, then I can understand. Your actually not a stay at home wife, your in school or working from home. But I can’t think of one other valid reason. Again, this same argument does not apply to women with children.
What would you say if a guy said “I don’t want to work. I’m gonna stay home, cook, and clean the house while you go to work. And honey … could you pick up an Xbox on the way home … thanks.”
I would love for someone to tell me just one valid reason for the “Stay at Home Wife” in 2008!