Home Dating & Relationships Relationships Valentine’s Day: The Sham … The Hustle … The Greatest

Valentine’s Day: The Sham … The Hustle … The Greatest


I Utterly Hate Valentine’s Day.

I know this is coming late, and I know this probably doesn’t come as a shock to anyone who reads my posts … but I utterly and truly hate the holiday. Let me count the reasons ….

  • It’s the epitome of commercial … does anyone even know who St. Valentine was?
  • The guy (male) is an afterthought. If we get anything … its sh*t.
  • The happiness of some (those in relationships) … come at the expense of others (the single and miserable)
  • Its one day to do things you were supposed to be doing all year long.
  • Uh … damn … I guess thats it.

Honestly, no one has any idea who St. Valentine was and the original story. I even went to Wikipedia to look up the story. Apparently the Catholic church actually banned the holiday because literally no one knew anything about the actual Saint. How did it get started again …? In 1840, US stationary company owner (read: CARDMAKER!) started it back up again. WTF …
Really, women know their man better come through with a big production, and men know if they do a decent job they will get a “reward” at the end of the night (Hot Sex). Too often the day isn’t even about showing your love, its about money and extravagance. A thoughtful caring well orchestrated gift is often overshadowed by the flashy, expensive, store bought diamond. I am a big fan of immensely personal gifts, not just something showing off my salary.

The Holiday is completely aimed at women. My views on the inequality of dating in this century are well spoken about, but there is no equivalent for men as a holiday, and we always get short changed. I have never gotten even a half decent Valentine’s Day gift (sex doesn’t count) and I don’t expect to ever get one … sadly.

See Also:  Role-play: How Women Make Themselves Unhappy in Relationships

But …

I Love celebrating Valentine’s Day

Yeah … I know … crazy. I’ll try and explain this the best way I know how.

I have yet to be with a woman that doesn’t love Valentine’s Day. Every time I have had someone special to celebrate the holiday with, I spend weeks trying to take all the different things they like, and craft that into a special experience for them. It might not be 100 bouquets, or hundreds of diamonds, or a new car … but it always is exactly what they wanted (or so they tell me).

Honestly, thats the one thing I do like about Valentine’s Day is the chance to really do something special for someone else. I don’t think there is a need for a holiday just for this, and I do die a little bit inside when the gifts I get pale in comparison to the one’s I give … but I guess you could call me soft … because the sheer happiness in the eyes of the other person.

So … in conclusion … I really and truly hate Valentine’s Day as a holiday. I don’t know how it came to be the commercial charade of a holiday paraded as a celebration for a Roman Saint (or several) … but I do enjoy any reason I get to show some special (and actually worth it) how I really feel.


  1. I would like the feel of Valentine's Day not just on that day but the entire year. It means more if the man I'm with does special things for me "just" because. Don't get me wrong, I like the "extras" on V-Day too…except if he better not get me any chocolate.

  2. I had my first and valentine last year. He was my bf at the time and I bought him something i knew he would like (a belt buckle that looked like an old school turn table and the "records" on it actually spun around along with chocolate and poetry) because it had to do with one of his hobbies. Well in return I got and easter bunny with a black mark on the price tag trying to hide the 1.99 price. I was irritated that the gift lacked any kind of sentiments or thoughts. He knew I love chocolates..and I didn't even get that… I like the holiday because of the big sales they have one chocolate..lol…and the bright smile on my mom and sisters face when I give them a big heart full of chocolate.

  3. YoungBelizeanLady, he only bought you something because he thought that was what he was supposed to do. He doesn't sound like he was the romantic type period, because otherwise he would have put some thought behind the gift he got you. That's why it's best to have someone who is in tune with you the entire year and not one that feels like he has to do something just on that one day.

  4. @Sheila: Personally, I like to surprise a person. You can see Valentine's coming from a mile away. I wanna catch you when your least expecting it and them … bam.

    @YoungBelizean: Come on … an Easter Bunny … really. Where did he even get it from some 9 months after the holiday … or did he get a pre-pre sale. And you got him a good gift too … man. I hope he did something else that day to make up for it.

  5. I hate it and love it too. For the love: well I love the gesture. I love the flowers and I love the chocolate.

    For the hate. I hate (and hate is such a strong word) I hate that it brings men (purposeful generalization) out of the woodworks who ain't done sh$#$t all year for the woman they claim they love. I think I lucked up this year –but in previous years its been all or nothing.

    Generally I believe that a holiday shouldn't dictate how you are supposed to act and be. If you love and care about someone that should be exhibited pretty damn consistently.

  6. SBM: No he didn't make up for it. I of should have learned my lesson from the Christmas present I received in 06 prior to Valentines..o well, spilt milk.

    Shelia: I would have thought he would have been in tune with my interest, we were friend for 3yrs before I said yes to being in a relationship. He knew I love chocolate, writing, drawing, dancing, music…I can come up with plenty of inexpensive gifts that are rich with thoughts.

  7. @SBM: This is a perfect opportunity to give that "damn, I'm good" present. This last girl mentioned something she was thinking about getting repeatedly…and I just played it off like I didn't even hear her. Then, when the day came, she never saw it coming. Unfortunately, you (and maybe only you) know how my last valentines day ended.

    @youngbelizeanlady: I agree, little inexpensive gifts that mean something should go much further than an expensive item that's just pretty. So impersonal to do that. In my opinion…gifts should express that you care for the person AND know them.

  8. @Comeback: IDK how I feel about that. You love getting stuff and you hate men who haven't been giving you stuff all year … hmmmmmm.

    @YoungBelizean: Yeah … if he had known you for 3 yrs even I think he shoulda have done better. I assume he's done with now.

    @Spaceitp: Yeah, thats the best way to do it. Because you know she wants it, but she has no idea you know. Shame it didn't work out.

    @Brittany: Yeah, if she is worth it its all good. Otherwise, just another super commercial holiday.

  9. I don't even know why I still *heart* V-Day because I've been disappointed almost every year..sometimes not even getting a card from my ex hub, sometimes only getting some stale chocolate and last year getting a dozen beautiful red roses from someone that I just did not like AT ALL. Like I've said before GG = Great Gifts..I typically do something handmade…with MY HANDS (not someone else's) like a frame or a scrapbook with photos of our first year of dating, coupon books, stuff like that..purely creative, tooks lots of time and has meaning..to me those things touch the heart more than flowers and candy. I've yet to meet a man that got it right on V-Day..and before you ask…the idea of *getting it right* would be a SURPRISE weekend getaway..somewhere tropical with plenty of spending money…yeah that would be nice!

  10. @Comeback: IDK how I feel about that. You love getting stuff and you hate men who haven’t been giving you stuff all year … hmmmmmm.


    SBM- I mma hurt you!!!! Thats not exactly what I said. Love—L—O—V—E should be shown year around on both sides. A holiday shouldn't dictate how you are supposed to BE. However, Vday is about stuff. its about what it represents. I'm not gonna lie. I love stuff. And I also love to give stuff. But Vday is a holiday for women sorry.

  11. @GeeGee: Was ready to agree with you. Really really close … and then you hit me with some talk of surpride vacations for V-day. **sigh**

    @Comeback: Love … gifts … its all the same … right? LOL. But thank you for saying Vday is a woman's holiday. Just once would I like to be surprised properly. Maybe a threesome or something.

  12. @Comeback: Thanks for coming clean – but you should also add Birthdays and Anniversaries to the list of days that are all about showering women with gifts. Do guys get a day? Hell Naw! Eff Vday!!

  13. Anti-Yes I include birthdays too. I usually go all out. Anniversaries are more sentimental to women. Besides I have many Anniversaries that only I seem to care about. 1)the first day we met. 2) the first day we talked on the phone. 3) Our first date 4) Our first sexual exerience 5)our first kiss. 5) First day I spent the night 6) When he spent the night 7) His first gift etc etc. Its all on a calender.


  14. @Anti: As I said … Vday isn't all bad. But you definitely have to be used to just giving and not receiving … but any guy who has dealt with any woman is used to that.

    @geegee: Its a shame too. I still think we can make this work. Been looking to move to the A for awhile too. Its fate …

    @Comeback: LOL. I bet you not joking though. You probably celebrate the first day you burped in front of him … because thats when you knew it was real … lol

    @Brittany: I agree, but what exactly is "it"? Trips to "somewhere tropical"?


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