5 Ways to Know She Likes You


As a guy, deciphering a woman’s real feelings towards you is a science. Yes, there are still some good honest women who just want to find a good man, don’t play games, and know how to treat a man. They are the ones you want to marry, mother your children, and spend all your time and energy on … and they deserve it.

Sadly, a large portion of the female population aren’t quite as perfect. Its easy that the girl your talking to or spending time & money on doesn’t really like you, but just wants attention, your money, or a Fake Ass Boyfriend. I touched on this before with Indicators of Interest, but this is the cheat sheet. Its important to weed them out (unless they are sleeping with you … cause aint nothing wrong with a “Friend With Benefits”) … so here are 5 little tips to help weed them out.

She Actually Calls You Without Asking for Something

Women hate calling men they don’t like. Its a waste of time for them, and the whole time they will be rolling their eyes as you talk and thinking “Why am I on the phone”. They will seem distant and uninterested.  And if every call is just to set up a date at a restaraunt or to ask for money or gifts … burn it up!
On the flip, if she really likes you (and is mature), she will want to talk to you and return your calls and even initiate a conversation. If her number never comes up on your phone … think about it.

See Also:  5 Ways to Prevent Self-Sabotage in Dating

She Pays for Something … Anything

If she is just looking to use you … she will not pay for anything. Also, paying for a man is like a cardinal sin for 90% of women. It doesn’t have to be significant or major, even if its the popcorn and drinks at the movies (which you bought the tickets too) … it is significant. If she offers to by you dinner, then rest easy my friend … she likes you.

She Invites You Over to Spend the Night

You might have sex with her this time, but thats OK. A woman (and most men) don’t want some stranger they don’t like in their house … so if your invited in that means something. If your invited over and then told to spend the night (in the same room), there is a chance that she likes you. Someone who doesn’t want you in their living space and always wants to meet at Ruth’s Chris (or some equally pricey restaurant or bar) … is probably playing you. Drop her …

She Does Something She Knows Only You Will Like

This is basic and gender neutral, but very significant when done by a woman for a man. A woman is not going to waste her time actual listening to your likes and interests if she does not like you … let alone actually act on them. If she takes to time to buy, arrange, plan, or just find that one thing that is particular to you … good chance she likes you. It also counts if its something that all guys like, but most women hate (that threesome you always wanted).

See Also:  Why You Don’t Want to be with THAT girl

She Leans In to Kiss You

Very Significant! A woman kissing you is by itself is a sign, because while we think “would I sleep with her” … women think “would I kiss him”. But don’t be fooled, you can surprise her and she may kiss you back out of a feeling of commitment or obligation. If you lean in, but not all the way … and she comes towards you to kiss you … thats powerful. That means she wants to kiss you, and likes you enough to let actually come to you.

This one is for the guys. Take these … use them … and feel free to add, argue, or call bullsh*t on anything I have to say … but at the end of the day … if she shows all 5 … 95% she actually likes you and isn’t trying to play you.


  1. "even if its the popcorn and drinks at the movies (which you bought the tickets too) … it is significant."

    DAMN RIGHT it's significant! Popcorn and drinks at the movies just isn't a measley $5.00 anymore…You'll spend 19.85 for one bucket of popcorn and two MEDIUM drinks. LOL

    But yeah…i think you got it about right

  2. Add

    Even when she knows you are down on cash, she still picks you up to hang out.

    There are times when a guy just does not have money or excesses money to spend(especially while in college). If she knows you are lacking some funds, and still invites you out, that is definitely a sign she likes you. It doesn't count if she asks for reimbursements.

    What makes this different from the she pays for anything, well in that one the woman is under the impression that he is going to pay for some portion of the date, in this one, she is willing to cover it all because she just want to have a good time with the guy.

  3. @Comeback: You hate 1 because you never call … ever. Not sure why you think 3 is off. #5 isn't any strategy. I did say you have to actually go in at least halfway. You believe going in 10% is doing something … that I can't feel you on. I'm absolutely shocked you agree with #2 … unless we're counting in opposit directions (bottom is #5).

    @RawDawg: I don't know about that. If she is going for the opposite team … you can make all kinds of "interesting" bets.

    @Hunnie: I remember when someone offered to cover the snacks on our first date out. I looked at her like I had found my one & only. Shame it didn't work out … I wonder what she is up to now …

  4. sounds just about right.

    sadly, i've seen cousins who have done all 5 repeatedly and then it becomes the cheap bum taking advantage of them. but in all situations, they did like said "bum."

    i'm always confused about calling though, guys always tell me if they like a girl, they will call. so i usually refrain from calling too much, even though i REALLY want to.

    i once had a guy call me from the plane just as they had landed. i could still hear the flight attendants in the background, and he was all normal like "wassup with you" it made me chuckle because he couldn't even wait 30 mins to hear my voice.

  5. wow i love this list only because i've done all of them…and even considered and had conversations about the threesome with my … dare I say??…boyfriend!!! I need to email this to him and say "see..I told you I liked you…SBM says so" *snicker*

    and I even cooked dinner for him and baked him cookies and hand delivered them to his job.. I admit I haven't paid for a lot on our dates but I offer…and I have the money to cover my offer…

  6. Sadly, a large portion of the female population aren’t quite as perfect.

    If you're looking for the PERFECT woman, you will always be by yourself; because Lord knows there's no perfect man.

    We have to get out of that "looking for the perfect" person mentality. It goes back to "the list" and as you mentioned in a previous post, determine what top things you can or can not deal with.

    Anyway, good list.

    P.S. – Still don't like FWB…opening oneself up for issues (see one of the potential issues in my "Is That Your Baby Daddy" blog post http://www.sheliagoss.com/blog).

  7. I agree with 1, 2, & 4.

    Also, She laughs at his jokes regardless of if their funny or not and if she's extremely mean or nice to him for no reason (flirty & playfully of course)

  8. I'll OFFER to pay to the day is long. There are some offers he betna not (BETNA NOT) take. In the courtship phase (I offer (do the cute gesture and will actually reach) for my wallet if I'm not feeling you. And for those overly competitive buttholes who try to "dumb me down"—I will buy your appetizer, entre, dessert and leave a 35% tip. And will send all your calls to decline post date.

    If I'm really feeling I guy–he normally pays for multiple dates. THEN I do the surprise wallet rule and I insist. But by the time I'm paying I'm thinkin' how my name may sound hypenated!!! is a little late in the courtship game.

    Spend da night is OFF. I mean when I'm asking a guy to stay over. And diggin in my closet for a brand new guest tooth brush, face and body towel…I'm onna whole different level. I done paid for some dates. I dig you. And may have even used the "L" word. Don't just no random guy I'm kinda feelin enters my oasis.

  9. SBM of course I'm stopping by again to embrace your place with my love:) I recently did a post on my blog titled "change things up a bit" where I discussed sending a guy a drink. Even the smallest gift can say mounds about you (the woman)Not only does it say that you are interested in him but #1 You have your own money and #2 Willing to meet him halfway if he's interested as well.

  10. LOL @ seeing her as your one and only, SBM hey give her a call and see what she's up to!

    @comeback girl

    On letting someone sleep over I'm the same way. Dont thing you're gonn abe jumping in the bed off some two months of TALKING and DATING let alone come in. It usually takes me a to even let some one come in and sit on the couch. I have a big belief that people enter your home and bring spirits with them and when they are gone, those spirits are left behind. I don't want any bad ones left in MY space.

  11. @Trini: Sorry your cousins have been picking cheap bums. Just don't let them get jaded and stop doing it. Reminds me of my Bad Guy Post.

    @Brittany: Feel free to add!

    @GeeGee: You've done them all!!! … and thats why I keep saying you need to mess with me. *sigh* … at least remember I'll think about you with every post I write. Can I get some cookies at least?

    @Shiela: Yeah, I use the term "perfect woman" loosely. I am of the belief that if we are compatible and I love her, then she is perfect for me.

    @Oci23: How is the lean in kiss off?

    @SBelle: Does spending the night really mean nothing at all? Actually … in hindsight …

    @Comeback: The L word just for an overnight … wow. And he should be bringing his own toothbrush. But I can tell from your description of when you pay, that you probably almost never do it. Sounds like you do it more when you don't like the guy. Also, he can't accept … that doesn't count. You have to actually pay, not just offer.

    @Haddassah: I wasn't that strong on that one … I shoulda swapped it out.

    @anythingblack: If she is really feeling you, she won't be too shy … (so I beleive at least).

    @GoBytch: I love the way you think. So refreshing after reading Comeback. Heading over to read the post now.

  12. @Hunnie: Its interesting, because the spending the night one seems to have the biggest "disagreement". I can think of women who have let me into their homes with little or no delay (and not just for sex, I mean to entertain and chill), but I have had a few who didn't even want me to pick them up for fear of finding out where they live.

    Interesting …

  13. @ Hunnie.Wright

    girl you aint NEVA lied.

    I believe that. People bring a certain energy to your space. Shoot let the wrong relative come in and I'm doing corrective feng shui and meditation for DAYS. A vibe can change just by letting wrong people in, MUCH less a man one might have met 3 weeks ago.

    Your home is your sanctuary. Its where most people (SHOULD) renew and energize.

  14. and on a very basic level (woo woo aside) I mean what about the safety. Some men get a wrong impression on hey "come over". I mean you need a few weeks to just feel a man's motivation and intentions.

    "Spend da night" should not even be on the "does she like me list?" Come to think about it this is pretty scary at worst and at best maybe this is why some women have problems with dating men–because expectations are so wildly varied even on what I believe is very basic….if you JUST met a man, he aint got no business coming over much less spending the night.

  15. @Comeback: Please … be easy. I didn't say 5 things she must do within a week. If your house is your sanctuary and only a few people are allowed to enter it, then its perfect for the list. If you do invite him in, then you do like him.

    Just because I make an argument for something doesn't imply the inverse. I didn't say she doesn't like you if she doesn't do these things, I just think that if she does do it … good chance she actually likes you as more than a Friends with Benefits.

  16. If she's shy she will improvise — depending on the setting one usually would engage in eye contact (3 to 5 seconds max), a smile, or getting him another drink if his glass is empty as a solid sign of interest.

    the initial inviting someone over and spending the night is different. If he gets invited over (alone) that's big whether its to watch my team in the playoffs or for dinner and a movie… i'm still welcoming him to my personal piece of the world, and so should be silently acknowledged. It also defines my personal interests & my character but the whole spending the night thing… its cozy and casual but it doesn't always mean that she likes you she could just invite you over to get some or just to keep her company. Like and feelings might not always been in the equation.

  17. "If you do invite him in, then you do like him."

    That statement is misleading because even if I do–he still aint gettin in right away ESP to spend the night. I might REALLY dig him. And often the more I dig a man the more I need to assess that all this "digging" is coming from the right place-and doesn't cloud my judgement. That could take weeks.

    Weeks of just seeing my door step.

  18. @SouthernBelle: The smile, Eye contact, and the like shows she is interested … but I guess I mean something stronger when I say "like". Also, your right about getting some. She could just have an "itch" needing to be scratched.

    @Comeback: Again, your telling me that letting someone into your house is a serious step and you must really like him. What are we argueing about exactly?

  19. actually I don't think I ever expressed if I really like him he spends the night….I've really liked many many many men in my life…interestingly enough most of them never made it to my house.

    Like is a really weak word for a "spend the night invitation".

    —but thats ok I don't think you really get it.

  20. @Comeback: I'm honestly not sure how I can explain this any better without using actual mathematical logic statements and talking about the reflexive property.

    [A] = You invite him to spend the night

    [B] = You like him

    [A] -> [B], but … this doesn't mean that [B] -> [A].

    You can like him and not invite him in, thats fine! But … if you do invite him in … there is a high probablility (in your case) that you do like him, since people aren't easily brought into your house.

    Do you see that we are argueing two completely different points now? If I have to get anymore nerdy to prove this … I give up.

  21. @dejanae: THANK YOU for recognizing the reference. I didn't want to say anything, but it was the inspiration behind that one.

    @Comeback: *sigh*

  22. I'm new to this blog by way of…hell I don't remember how I found it…but anyhoo, I think this list is way juvenile. Are you grown men really sitting around trying to figure out if a chick like you? That is out of control. Not trying to bash or anything (or maybe I am, ha)but I thought ya'll would have figured the shit out by now. And who are these thirsties calling a dude to come spend the night? If you end up in her bed that is supposed to just happen. A series of fortunate events. Ya'll been chilling, going out here and there. Then one night, while sipping wine at that sexy new lounge spot in Hollywood, you start looking different to her. Inside she feels *that burn* and she knows that it is all systems ah go. Then if your dumb ass just shut up and look cute, and dont say nothing stupid then you just might be getting lucky in the car, or at yo house/her house, or where ever ya'll decide to go next.

    But dialing numbers and petitioning for some company…ha ha hell

    As for the accuracy of your indicators, I beg to differ. I would love to hear your 5 ways to know that HE likes you . Me, personally, though, you probably would never know. It would haunt your dreams, and keep you up at night. Staring at your phone, just hoping, and wishing, it would fucking ring!

    Anyway, I'm sure you probably answered this somewhere already, but I really don't feel like digging through the excess to find it…so just go on and give me your top 5.

    You know you want to

    Now what SBM

  23. @TheBusinessWoman: Are you Comeback Girls sister or something?

    If we already figured out how to tell if a girl likes you, then why do I need to tell you how to know if a guy likes you? I thought you would have had that figured out. Sounds like you may have petitioned once or twice before and it didn't go to well.

    Let me know when you have more than a random rant for me.

  24. HA!!! SBM you are too funny.(Are you Comeback Girls sister or something?)

    TheBusinesswoman did get on your back. I think you and Comeback Girl should maybe go out if you are in the same city. Hopefully you guys won't get into a loud argument in restaurant…lol

    But it does make for good entertainment, reading when you guys go back and forth with each other.

  25. @ SBM LOL! yeah Females tend to do that sumtimes I used to be that way but I'll let someone pick me up from my house or whatever. They can know where I live without coming in. LOL! I used to not let them know where I lived just because they may be crazy but now, my saying is "Act simple if you want to…" ya dig!?

    @comeback LOL @ corrective feng-shui

    but it's true and I'm a very solitary person so when I go into hermit mode…that's where I am and I can be in there for days on end and not come out but I don't like for people to be able to come in and ruin that peaceful energy.

    lol @ Ms. Devereuax

  26. SBM I hate to break it to you. Are you sitting down? Did you have your cheerios this morning? THERE ARE WOMEN WHO THINK LIKE ME.

    Get over it!!!!! The list is a little "kiddyfied" but people have a tendancy to like lists-because they are managable. Your lists are USUALLY onesided and 9/10 about YOUR PERSONAL NEEDS, HOW YOU'VE BEEN WRONGED, etc. etc.

  27. @Comeback: *sigh* … when I realize there are comeback supporters out there … it makes it hard to get up in the morning.

    Me and Anti should be free. It can be a little blogger circle … that is if we feel comfortable revealing our identities. I can't wait until the day I bump into you and pretend I don't know who you are. I think it would be hilarious.

    And where is your newest post? Whats up?

  28. @ SBM …LOL (I can’t wait until the day I bump into you and pretend I don’t know who you are. I think it would be hilarious.)

    @ Comeback Girl you should definitely invite them out. You never know what might happen…lol

  29. @ SBM and friends

    Unfortunately, my dears, both my sisters are under the age of ten (moms was getting her groove back late in the game) and I was blessed enough to grow up the middle child between two (in demand) brothers. So my game plan and overall stance in general comes from observing both sides of the spectrum. Don't be mad at me and like minded individuals (CBG) if we got this shit on lock.

    The reason I wanted your top 5 for HE is because I was dying to see how highschool (or not) that list would be in comparison to this one. Trying to save your credibilty is all…shawty

    Please SBM don't be flattered or sadly mistaken, because trust…I got this.

    I can already feel you permeating through this page

    and you want this…bad

  30. @Comeback: Can't be that bad! Its been a whole weekend!

    @Ms. Deveraux: I agree. She should invite us. We're great guys.

    @TheBusinessWomen: Lol. Not sure what your young sister's have to do with anything, but thanks for an attempt at "justifying" your request. Honestly, as a guy who likes women, and with no history of homosexuality … I can only speak from personal experiences and a male friends. As someone who has talked to and dated several women, felt I could speak on it better.

    And whats this talk of "I got this"? And what do I want from you … ? This is humorous. Please come back … and I'll be sure to let my presence known over on your little spot.

  31. I brought up my sisters cause you asked if me an CBG were related. Come on now, remember what you write boo

    And thanks for showing love on My little page, it was much appreciated

  32. it took reading this post to finally see that I am a FAB. one of the women I have been dating since Oct only sees me once per week and never calls me unless its to plan our date for the weekend. she never sleeps over infact I have only been to 2nd base (like Im in highschool again) but she claims that it is because she is saving herself for marriage after getting her last 2 encounters with bad men… I can respect that (especially since I am able to get it elsewhere at this stage of the relationship)

    she dosent lean in to kiss me, infact I didnt get a kiss until month 3. she failed the "bronx tale test" horribly and continues to fail it to this day. she never pays for anything and eventhough she dosent work she always wants to go "nice" places. but ya know what…. I dont think I care. she looks good on my arm and works a room very well when I bring her to social functions… all that and she is finishing her PHD so shes not just good looking.

    but it is good to read this thread and let it wake me up to the fact that I am not alone in whats going on and its not an unusual situation.

    oh and the women who say 5 isnt valid…. its human nature it really cant be.

  33. @TheBusinessWomen: Ok … you got me. 1 point for TBW. And no prob about coming to your spot … had to see what you were talking about.

    @Hasani: DROP HERE NOW! I don't care how good she looks, but if it takes you 3 months to get a kiss, she doesn't call … and she just wants to go out … DROP HER. Immediately … don't hesitate!

  34. @Cat: That one is actually a lot more complex, and since I haven't been pursuing men for all of my adult life … not sure how well my list would be … but I might have to try.

  35. SBM my lil brotha from another motha, you gotta understand. its all about checks and balances. from the outside if you read it in text its simple to say "OMG HOLY COW DITCH HER" but when u look at what she brings its worth her staying. beauty of a swimsuit girl with the brains of a PHD is bragging rights for any man much less a man at 30. so even if I get NONE, she serves as a great measuring stick of the quality of sista I should be looking for. do you know how easy it is to turn down a woman who isnt up to par when you are the FAB of a perfect 10 type? keeps you focused and your nose in the air so you dont fall down and start dating the wrong types of women for too long. yes I still go on dates with the wrong ones, but it makes you less dependant on trying to work things out when you have "HER" waiting for her weekly date. now that u have it in perspective I will spend less $ and cut it down to HALF my paycheck when I take her out insted of 75%

  36. @Hasani: Maybe its my youth speaking, maybe its the slight air of arrogance I have accumulated over the past year or so, maybe its the rules of engagement me and my friends in college engaged in … but by no means can I endorse your situation. Spending money on a girl who appears to be using you only for money and dates … is deplorable. She is not keeping you from selecting a "slum" girl, your smart enough to do that yourself, but she will keep you from a girl who genuinely likes you but is a notch down in the looks or education department. Instead of this woman who may be perfect for you, you'll keep thinking "but she sure doesn't have an ass like Lisa". Do yourself a favor and help balance the universe … DROP HER

  37. Hasani, Take it from another woman, as long as you ALLOW her to use you that way, she will continue to do so. It doesn't sound like you want a relationship where you're equally yoked. To me it sounds superficial on both of your parts–she's using you for your money and you're paying for her to be in your company. But hey, if you're happy with that arrangement, then who am I to rock the boat. I hate to see anyone used when they don't have to be, but it sounds like you choose to be used.

  38. caps smaps. as long as your aware of whats going on and how things stand and everyone is HAPPY things work. see I dont HAVE TO, follow an exact science. just because thats how it normaly goes, dosent mean its how it has to be all the time. I have seen too many unhealthy relationships with people who do not like eachother the right way so you seriously cant knock a couple who have a good time with eachother. forget ego, at the end of the day we just wanna be happy.

    and its HARD to say no to a bottom chick type when you have nothing else. we are men and simple minded (must.. have.. booty) and women are savvy and beguileing. we cant defend ourselves against their charm when they want us, and we know how they are so fertile. well, when i am dating this lady I dont feel like I have to beg, I feel like I can say no to everyone because I "have" a quality woman to spend my time with already.

  39. @Hasani: You have a point … if your happy … thats good. BUT … your actions are haveing ripple effects throughout the game. Suppose I find me a sexy PhD candidate that I like, but now she may expect to be taken out every weekend and think that its not cool to call me all week. Then she would get dropped, and all that stuff … just because your girl happened to be her friend.

  40. Wassup SBM. You have a great forum here and I would like to commend your effort in informing the masses. The list you provided is a pretty good tool for inexperienced males to refer to while on their dating excursions. However, I have to somewhat endorse 'thebusinesswoman's' assessment of this subject. To my fellow males: EACH NEW APPROACH TO A FEMALE SHOULD BE TAKEN WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. Here is what I mean…….

    After you have built up the nerve and confidence to approach that special lady with respect, sincerity, and authenticity… and if she disses you(disrespectfully) just TURN AROUND AND SIMPLY WALK AWAY AND FORGET ABOUT HER. IF SHE IS A REAL WOMAN one of two things will happen:

    1. If she is not interested / already spoken for she will GRACEFULLY / RESPECTFULLY decline your offer with a slight appreciation for your effort.

    2. She will be open to your advances and contribute to the interaction.

    Simple enuff huh? I know I may have ventured off from the intentions of this forum, but I genuinely want to help provide a clear and concise understanding of how to REALLY DEAL WITH WOMEN(specifically the poisonous ones)

    Hope this helped someone..


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