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Simp: A Definition


Tailor Made [PIC]

“You took her on 5 dates, didn’t even get a kiss, and now u want to buy here a diamond bracelet … Your a simp”

I have been using this term in posts for months … let me explain it just a lil.

Captain Save-a-ho (Captain for short), buster, punks, soft ass m*therf*cker … all of these terms are synonyms for a simp. He is no one you want to be and is hurting things for every man (and woman). He is one of the greatest threats to an efficient black dating market.

First and foremost, I can’t take credit for this term. Three 6 Mafia and Hypontize Minds have been using it for years, along with plenty of other southern rappers. More notable, E-40 and T-Pain and even Ne-Yo have put the term on the major radio stations. I have been using it for years though, as its an epidemic running through the black community.

A simp is the supposed “dream” of many women, and the butt of many male jokes. He gives “his” woman anything she wants, and more. He spoils her, asks for nothing in return and seems to have no goal in life except to make “baby girl” happy.

Whats the problem you ask …  he is just “too much”. He never has his own opinion and is gives into every fit, tantrum, complaint, or request that is given to him. It’s sad and pathetic.

See Also:  Do Men Settle Too?

Think of the guy who won “I Love New York 2”. He is the embodiment of what I’m talking about. He was willing to let New York walk all over him, say whatever she wanted, and he would still run out and buy her some Gucci loafers and rub her feet. Like he gave up his penis … such a shame.

Here are some examples of “simp behavior”

If you or your friends are exhibiting 2 or more of these symptoms … immediately stop dating and email me for immediate help.

You bought her a Tiffany’s bracelet for Christmas, and she got you socks (because the Prada purse she bought herself the week before set her back) … but you see nothing wrong.

All your male friends avoid you like the plague … because all you talk about is what you bought “baby girl” last week.

Your going into debt trying to support the lifestyle your “girl” is into.

You are always eating p*ssy (performing cunnilingus), but you get a funny look every time “reciprocation” is mentioned.

You are giving her elaborate dates (para-sailing, trips to Brazil, Helicopter rides) … and she always gives you a nice hug as a thank you.

Get off the phone with “I love you” and she responds “yeah … your cool too”.

See Also:  Do you really want me to answer that?

So if someone you know has given up his manhood and traded in his penis … sit him down, tell him “Stop Simping”, and then beat him senseless until he is ready to man up … Read on some Simp confessions here.

And BTW … simping is not good for women. Who wants a punk?


  1. lmao @ this post, I didn't even read it I just looked at the picture and knew exactly what it was about thats so sad, why we hatin on my man tailor made like that!!

  2. haha. it is a shame. i actually feel bad taking so much without giving back or just doing something simple. i don't need a lotta fancy stuff everytime we meet. the only thing i think you forgot to mention here is that the best person for a simp is a golddigger.

  3. @Trini: Your right … a goldigger and a simp can actually be happy. My problem is if my girl says "look what he bought her last week" … cause thats gonna end in silence or a fight.

    @Comeback: Is that why you come back here … cause I check you … lol … jk. I can't see how any woman wants a punk. Even I don't like pushover women.

  4. I know one thing Is that I haven't ever really met an actractive simp and if that was the case id date a simp all day!

  5. LOL @ the Helicopter rides!! I'm not even going to inquire about where you got that one from!

    Unfortunately I do know a brother that's a borderline simp, it's sad and tragic to actually be able to see this in real-time….or at least see it right there in your face rather then on TV. I swear me and a few of my boys are going to set up an "Intervention" for him, try and get him back to neutral.

  6. Okay I'm going to comment before reading the other comments. This was hilarious and you're right, we women don't want no punks.

    Now there's nothing wrong with this: He gives “his” woman anything she wants, and more. He spoils her, asks for nothing in return

    But yes there is a serious problem with this: seems to have no goal in life except to make “baby girl” happy. I would think he's stalker material if I decide to end things.

    He never has his own opinion I like an independent thinking man so if he has this tendancy…definately a no-no in my book.

  7. Well what works for some may not work for all! That may not be your way of swooing your lady but it may be the "dream" of another guy to be able to provide his woman with whatever she wants including his manhood,self-esteem and respect. Some guys are not even willing to buy a woman a drink when another may buy her the world. Believe me most man aren't even close to this guy. I've heard though a man will do whatever he has to to get the woman if he wants her bad enough. The only thing is in most cases when the guy wins you over all of the fancy footwork stops and that's whether he's buying you flowers or tiffany diamond earrings.

  8. @YBL: Sadly … someone must like them … because I see a new one everyday!

    @Mikki: You want a simp … you just lost 10 points. Why would you want some punk man-bitch?

    @B.Price: See … I could put some information out right now … but I'm not going to. But I will say the fact that YOU are looking to set up an invervention for someone is … well … hilarious.

    @Comeback: B.Price knows where I got helicopter rides from. Its a lil inside joke.

    @Sheila: I have a problem with anyone who senslessly spoils someone else and doesn't feel like they should be "equally yoked". If he is giving her the world, he should be looking to get his own world from her.

    BTW … the poll isn't sexist. I didn't say what you find more attractive … I left it for interpretation. Which do you have more off? Which does your man like more? Which do you think is more important to guys? All of those are questions you can answer.

    @GoBytch: There is actually a very logical and explainable reason why all this "wooing" stops once your in it for good, and it should. I'll have to elaborate on it in a post, but you can't sprint for ever. Courtship is not permanent! He should remain nice and do nice things, but courtship is not in anyway shape or form supposed to be permanent! Also, I am the type of guy who refuses to by a girl a drink … unless I know her from before the club (I will get water … if its free!)

  9. @GoBytch: Me hating simps is like girls hating ho's. Someone else's loose policies on life is f*cking things up for you … and for that reason … I hate simps!.

  10. Yeah….we aren't going to go there SBM, cuz you know we different heavily on our views of those specific topics……including the helicopter rides, and weekends on the eastern shore.

  11. @B. Price: Yes we differ heavily in out views … almost to the point where you could say somone gave me a little … inspiration.

    @Comeback: Yeah, I know BP offline … you act like I can't have friends or something.

  12. Calling all his male friends to back him up and sbm what you talking about I lost points? SIMPS RULE!!! especially when you live 10-20 with men acting dumb, i think its a fair trade.

  13. @Comeback: Yeah, I know BP offline … you act like I can’t have friends or something.

    he doesn't comment tons like Anti does and I don't know I just never made that connection. It make sense with the whole DC thing. but never registered.

  14. SBM, there's nothing wrong with a man spoiling his woman. I never said I wouldn't spoil him…but when you do stuff for someone you shouldn't expect anything in return. What I would do for my man, I'm not going to do it because I expect him to go tit for tat…he should do what he feels like doing and I'm going to do what I feel like doing…and we'll both be happy in that regards.

    Thanks for the clarification reference the poll.

  15. @SBM: Uhuh….I can't wait till you touch/blog on that topic.

    @Shelia: See that's where i'm coming from, and where me and SBM view things differently….he'd like to throw me in that "simp" category though…supposedly because of the things I enjoy. However that's another topic, for another day.

    @Comeback: Yeah, I normally like to sit back from the sidelines and watch the sparring between you two….plus I normally don't agree on everything that SBM posts, as you can probably see by now.

  16. The Comeback Girl, I'm over here ROFLMAO. I'll be checking my box later to see SBM's response.

    B. Price – good thing you don't bow down to peer pressure. Keep doing you.

  17. A lot of women say they want someone who does everything for them but when it comes down to…that maybe all good for awhile but that mess gets played. I don't want no punk.

  18. Yeah SBM you are right courtship isn't expected to last forever but being someone you are not isn't courtship in my opinion. Also yeah I don't expect a guy to buy me a drink but of course it's a nice gesture. I've sent a guy a drink before and sometime that can just go all wrong! Perhaps making me seem way to independent or even aggressive so from now on I leave the drink buying to the men.

  19. @Mikki: You lost sooooooo many points. Soooooo many!

    @Comeback: Just messing with you …

    @Sheila: With me … its an interesting dynamic. I have traditionally been the type of guy who does a lot for a girl he likes, but I got caught up once where after a few months, I just felt no reciprocation and like I was being used. I shut that situation down pretty quick … but the bitter taste remains.

    @Comeback(2): Brain is like a computer … no need for a notebook. Mental excel spreadsheet. Besides … who writes anything?

    @B. Price: I never said you were a simp … just alluded to it. I don't thin your actually a simp though … you just have simp-like tendencies.

    @Sheila(2): He needs to bow down … its just not sustainable.

    @Brittany: Thank you. I knew there was someone who wanted a real man.

    @Go Bytch: I remember your post on the drink buying and I like the idea, but I will admit … it could easily go wrong. I don't know how much of a "shift" guys you know have experienced, but it shouldn't be a day and night type of thing.

    @Dejanae411: It really isn't.

    @Comeback: Do you have a timer and a notebook??? Actually, horrible cold. Left work early and passed out. Trying to get someone to nurse me back to health now.

    @Anythingblack: Spread the word. Its a disease and until people know about it more, it will never go away.

  20. @Comeback: Awww … you remember … you care! Last time it was some BS and I just felt a lil under the weather … this time its the "OMG … I'm going to die" cold that came out of nowhere.

  21. @Comeback: I can send you the snot coming out of my nose, or a picture of the Airborne, Zicam, Vitamin C, Teas, and other stuff I'm using to keep alive. The last time wasn't super serious, don't even remember what was going on, but this time its serious. Its a shame cause I have an alumni even tonight also.

  22. "I can send you the snot coming out of my nose, or a picture of the Airborne, Zicam, Vitamin C, Teas, and other stuff I’m using to keep alive."

    no thanks. So tell me about this side project you're working on?

  23. LMAO!!! Funny post. But not only does a 'simp' do those things you listed, he also throws a temper tantrum when he doesn't get his way.

    I think Diddy put it best when he said' No Bitchassness'!

  24. [email protected] if you still have a cold try this it works, I do it whenever I feel a cold coming.

    Ginger Tea

    1 inch or so fresh ginger root, sliced thin or grated

    1/2 a fresh lemon, sliced (peel & all)

    1 clove garlic, mashed

    ~2 c water

    Very generous spoonful honey

    Place water, ginger, lemon, & garlic in saucepan; bring to boil, then turn

    Down heat and simmer gently for 20 min. Strain into mugs and add

    Honey. The tea *will* get stronger if you let it sit! Most invigorating!

    The garlic adds a bit of bitterness, but the honey masks that. This tea is

    Very soothing to the throat and warms and opens the chest and nasal


    My way of 'nursing' you back to health from a distance. 🙂

  25. Im a simp…. but I think we already knew this.

    hey SBM the girl you told me to dump came by and dumped me today. gave me the classic, its not you… its me line.

    I need to change but I cant help it, I am just al roker type guy all the time .

  26. Ok so now I know what "simping" is. There has to be a happy medium between a selfish bastard and a simp, right? Because I have dated people who are the male version of this female you talk about. It's no better, lemme tell ya.

  27. A little late in reading this, but I must agree…while in theory, its nice to have a man that will do just about whatever you want, who the hell wants a punk? Not me, and probably not most women. A simp is not a "real man" by certain standards…and yeah that statement has all kinds of stereotypes of masculinity mixed in, but I like those stereotypes. 🙂

  28. Simps= no backbone. And SOOOOOOO uattractive. I value individuality. And I want a man who can dish it out, and take it. If I wanted someone to take care of me the rest of my life, I would be one of those grown ass people still living with mommy and daddy – I got this. My man has got to be confident (bordering egotistical), bold, and outgoing. If I have one more spine-less man hit on me by agreeing with EVERYTHING I say, I am going to VOMIT. Have some sense of self!! I don't want my man to buy me a prada so I have something to carry his balls in.


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