Homies Over Hoes

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“What happened to you yesterday … you were supposed to give me a ride to the shop. I had to take 5 buses and was 3 hours late”
“Yeah man … this girl I was trying to get at hit me up to go out”
“WTF man … H.O.H. Man!”
“H.O.H.???”
“Homies over hoes … ya punk bitch!”

Bro’s before Hoes is the classic adage we are all used to … but being a huge fan of The Boondocks (the comic was so much better than the cartoon … more of a message) I drew my inspiration from a recent episode. While the episode was actually poking fun at a homosexual rapper, they helped to bring to light an important creed that all men need to live by.

I grow tired, annoyed, and downright enraged at these guys who put their girlfriend, current love interest, or random jumpoff from the club before and above well established friends and/or family. Pussy and many women are temporary, but the guy who picked you up off the ground after getting your ass whooped in the 5th grade has earned a permanent fixture in your life, so don’t forget it. Out of all the ways a guy can put women before his friends … there is one case that disgusts me to the core of my soul: the girlfriend who replaces all of your friends.



When a man finds a good women its a good thing. He has found someone who is worth adoring, spending time with, and loving … but why does this person have to replace your well established friends. Why can’t she be integrated with the rest of your friends? Why can’t we all go out every once in awhile? Why can’t she see her friends while you come hang out? Why …

See Also:  If at First You Don't Succeed...

I have one friend who is a shining example of doing it right. I love his girlfriend (sure … I knew her beforehand … but eh). She comes out with us, but doens’t restrict him from coming out, and while I don’t see him as much as before, I still keep in touch and can go chill with my friend. Also, he still plays wingmen and will take the ugly one (although too often he fights taking the busted one) when we go out because he knows he’s got someone at home. To you my friend … I salute you.

But to all of you other simping, punk bitching, whack ass, go against your friends, sumbitches … STOP IT!

And to close things out … here is the video that inspired the post!

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DV2U3yLSDvQ]

Comment(117)

  1. WOW. Maybe you just caught your friends who put the LBB (Lady before the Brotha) in the honeymoon phase. I mean do you allow for the honeymoon phase? There should be some type of balance. I don't necessarily want to be incorporated into the "road dog activities" over time doesn't it go back to normal where you don't feel slighted?

    This post in and of itself sounds a little simpish to me. I would assume that there are things a Lady could do that his Homies can't do. (I've omitted the word ho because SBM it is OFFENSIVE, although I assume you are going for the illustrative and provacative.)

  2. Alright its early in the morning and im late for work as always so why not add my 2 cents to the mix before it gets crowded in here.

    I wish women would abide by this rule too obviously after the honeymoon phase.. I know to many girlfriends who get caught up with they "boo" of the week and ditch they long time ride or die stay up all late at night to listen to you whine about how you got played and then drive to 50 million stores on a saturday morning with you while you fill your void of pain girlfriend (personal moment) . what was my point???

    oh yea I hate that!!

  3. @sbm; I love the boondocks!

    @ comback and mikki u are right.

    but there is always that one friend when her supposed knight in shining armor comes and sweeps her off her feets she so bust BOO LOVIN that she can't see past the end of her nose. until it all falls apart and then u have to be there to pick up the pieces.

    friendship is unconditional so wether or not they turn into inadvertent a**holes

    when they get a new piece eventually they will see the light.

  4. I think that your friends and bf/gf being acquainted is one of the best things that happens in a relationship- with a very fine line of course. You shouldn't always choose your SO over your homies but the more you converse you will have to learn how to balance it bc like someone said you cannot hold your homies at night amongst other things but if they like him/her, gets good vibes, and knows shes cool people and has a life of her own too it tends to keep the beef down but pick whats impt. If bf and the homies have nba playoff nights at the spot and I'm there either I'm grabbing my lucky hat and talking trash with yall or I will say my hellos and goodbyes and be on my way… you just have to feel each other on things that impt to them. Also unfortunately there some jealous and trifling males and female out there so there's another thing that starts conflicts… but you don't want to loose lifelong friends over a male/female or take them for granted.

  5. “What happened to you yesterday … you were supposed to give me a ride to the shop. I had to take 5 buses and was 3 hours late”

    “Yeah man … this girl I was trying to get at hit me up to go out”……..

    Encourage dude to get his ride right…that ain't ya boi if he bumming rides from you – more or less a leech who got jealous that you didn't give him what he needed.

    I'm sure Gangstalious would LOVE his homies to lay up beside him at night…heheheheh

    Stop it Comeback, this does sound a little simpish 🙂

  6. The definition of a simp is in the April 16th posting. Simp doesn't not translate into "gay as hell." Moreso a super senative guy.

  7. Now you know I had to address the use of "hoe" describing women–don't like the term used as a reference to women.

    Now reference the idea of someone putting new prospects in front of their friends and family, that within itself can be an issue. When meeting someone new and getting into a relationship, it's important not to lose your identity. You were an individual prior to meeting this person. Yes compromises will need to be made in reference to your spare time, but don't get "so caught up" that you forget everyone else.

  8. "Now you know I had to address the use of “hoe” describing women–don’t like the term used as a reference to women"

    I TOTALLY AGREE Shelia…now you're in trouble SBM!!!! Do the Ladies get an apology?

  9. Sorry … no apology.

    In terms of the hoe usage, the actual saying really did apply more to just hoes (a subset of women who are not worth more than getting D*). I think the saying refer to the random chics who aren't doing nothing for u, yet you still put them above your friends. I expanded on the concept to include gf's, but in its true form … hoes works.

    And what is with this bastardization of simp. Obviously I failed all of you at defining the word. It has little to do with being sensitive and nothing to do with being gay (u smoking something mikki). The type of individual this post is aimed at is a simp. The simp are just spineless guys who bend over backwards for women … in essence.

  10. I expanded on the concept to include gf's, but in its true form … hoes works.

    I'm clear on what a SIMP is.

    I'm still not down with women being referred to as hoes. Just because she's not a gf or she's not doing anything for you, doesn't equate to her being a hoe. But then again if that's how it's defined, on the flipside, I guess there is an equal amount of men out there who would be classified as hoes as well.

  11. I'm thinking SBM is a little stubborn. The word period is offensive but I think he's sticking to it because it has end rhyme, I mean what does lady or woman rhyme with? certainly NOT brother, Bros, man ….see I learned something in Shakespere Advanced Lit in the 10th grade…end rhyme, iambic pentameter…and bros rhyme with hoes.

  12. The word is offensive and I use it when referring to women I want to offend.

    You slept with 5 guys yesterday … your a hoe.

    Cheated on your loving husband … your a hoe.

    You gave that guy head because he bought you some Moet … your a hoe.

    Well … you get the point. Besides the title, I don't think I referred to women as hoes in the post. Its a line from a song, did you want me to rephrase it to "Homies over 'women who aren't doing a lot for you'" and then re-sing the song for you?

    @Sheila: Yes … men can be hoes too. I call several of my male friends hoes without thinking twice about it.

  13. LOL. *do tha Homie!*

    My girlfriends and I have had an equivalent saying over the years: Chicks over D**ks.

  14. @Comeback: Sorry love … maybe I am a little stubborn.

    @BigBrwnEyes: LOL … I feel like the problem is at epidemic levels for women.

  15. @sheila u have a point but that he shouldn't refer to women as hoes. which is true.

    however on the flip side u have to let a hoe be that..a HOE..

    if u turn tricks on the corner and get paid your a Trick Hoe. any hoe like behavior can classify u as such. if it walks like a hoe talks like a hoe and screws the starting line up of the eagles like a hoe..there are pretty good chances shes a hoe. the same goes for men. we call men dogs all the time. do they take offense? sometimes.

    however if it barks pees on the floor from time to time and got fleas (from a hoe..lol) chances are u have a dog on ur hands.

    now if sbm's friend wants to be Captain save a ho* then that's on him however

    everyone knows u can't turn a hoe into a house wife, just ask brittany spears…lol

    just for laughs don't get offended …

  16. My female partner will always be my #1 devotion in life.

    I just reconnected with my main runnin man from jr high the other day, I had to cut him off because he decided he wanted to skeet around on his live in piece and pick up the playa lifestyle. he may have been my main man since way back but we was walkin seperate lines in our lives so I just cut the line. what seperates a man from a boy are knowing when you have a duty and you do it. any kid can please himself and lay back and chill with the homies. it takes a truck load of patience to deal with your woman.

    I have cut off family and even my sister. It may sound glamrous in this day and age to say you put your friends and yourself over your mate, but to me thats clown shit. MY hoousehold is my sole devotion in my life, and the woman who heads it with me.

    Now im not sayin I meet sme random chicken tomorrow and I forget to play Xbox with SBM… no never that. Im talking about the REAL woman your with. the one who is your actual lpartner and your trying to build stuff wit. she should get all the props in and devotion in the world from her man and should do the same for you.

    ….but thats just my opinion

  17. Ya'll we need to pray for Hasani. You know Hasani the new BUN B CD drops today it will teach you somethings about simping.

  18. @SBM, those are bad definitions. Cheated on her loving husband doesn't make a wife a hoe. Giving a guy head doesn't either…you probably gave her several bottles of Corona and she was feeling a little frisky. 🙂

    @Akua…No offense taken. Just yesterday you were lusting after a married man…does that make you a…The lucky lady that marries Hasani, never has to work again, but sleep with him every night and he keeps all the bills paid…is she a….

    I think SBM's use of the word was to get folks attention. However, we shouldn't use the term loosely.

  19. It's really important for my significant other to be integrated into my social circle. I'm very social and I love my friends dearly. A man has got to be able to get along with them and, occasionally, come join us out and about.

    More importantly, he has got to have his OWN life. I don't see why people don't get this. You can't have a good relationship if you don't have your own separate shit going on. It keeps things interesting between you and him/her while allowing you to maintain the life you had before meeting each other.

    It is hard to pull away from someone who is so wonderful. You all are attracted to each other and have fun together. But damn… when that initial feeling wears thin, your friends are all going to be salty at you. Not a good look.

  20. I've had a moment to marinate on Hasani's response. And at face value it SOUNDS nice. But I DO want to be my man's #1 DEVOTION, as opposed to say some other random person, place or thing. And I think Hasani's strict definition of all he would and could do would totally mesmerize me for about a week. Then I would need for you to get a little balance. Enjoying each other's identity does not mean the special time you have playin xbox in the other room. It means going out into the WORLD cultivating your own unique perspective and bringing them back to our couplehood to share.

    Duty does not dictate nor require that you up under me 24/7. Cutting your family off including your sister is situational. LIKE "Um no tonite all yall in our 19 cousins can't come over because we just want to be alone" NOT a complete closed door. Its a boundary thing thats negotiated.

  21. Anytime you cheat on your spouse or you give head to a guy you just met at the bar no matter how many drink, you may not be a hoe but you are engaging in "hoes " activity.

  22. @Hasani: You cut your sister off for your girl!!!!

    Damnit … this is where the line gets drawn. I don't understand how you can choose your family over your woman … and I understand that at the height of it you were in love and all that boo boo sh*t that I hear is so great … but to distance yourself from your own sibling who you knew all your life (or knew you all of yours) over the love of a woman who can up and leave you is asinine.

    I would vent more … but really gotta get on top of this project. Expect more later.

  23. What's the cut off then saints? How many dates must you go on before you are no longer labeled as a "hoe" when you decide to share you temple with a man?

    What is the wife is unhappy in her marriage and used cheating as an option to vent. It's not right but she shouldn't be labeled a hoe. What if dude slipped something in this female's drink?

    Those acts aren't lady like…shouldn't mean she should be typecast as a hoe.

  24. I agree with ndenise. You can't put all of your energy and passion into your significant other. When she's gone, what will you have left? And your friends might be there for you, but they may not be able to help much after not having seen you in the past couple of months.

  25. Okay so I'm new to your spot but what I've read I have to tell you to stop fucking WHINING!!!

    So what if your best friend of 15 years has moved on and found someone he actually cares about more than you. You aren't in their relationship, so you don't know what she may do for him on a mental or even emotional level. You're being selfish, so your boy doesn't hang out with you like he use to. I suggest you grow up and attempt to find a women who inspires you to lay down the foolishness as well.

    You said it yourself:

    "When a man finds a good women its a good thing. He has found someone who is worth adoring, spending time with, and loving … "

    The only thing "but " does is negate the statement you placed before it. I don't know about you but I was raised that when I find a man who is for me I am supposed to forsake ALL others for him…including "the guy who picked you up off the ground after getting your ass whooped in the 5th grade".

    This post sounds a little bitter, maybe you should change your tag to BBM!

  26. Teacia, welcome. Meet Hasani. He likes camping, cooking and catering to his woman. Just don't cut yall families off in this union.

  27. Folks casting a lot of stones. I admit I have used the term "hoe" to define someone…but it took a LOT of negative actions for me to come to that conclusion. Those situations defined are peity.

  28. @Teacia: Gotta be one of the stupidest things I heard. Please meet my friend Hasani, and you two can go live in a bubble and do nothing but wash each other all day as you both forsake your family and friends.

    Why the f*ck do you think you have to forsake all others because you have a man? Are you that needy, clingy, and desperate for someone that you feel the need to abandon all sense of your own friends, family, and life for this person. Are you that addicted to d*ck that it has you cursing out your own mama???

    I hope you find that magical d*ck that is worth giving up every sense of self for. Like I said … holla at Hasani!

  29. HA!!! I was just having this conversation with my friend. Women are good at choosing a dude over there girlfriends. My guy friends don't do this so I didn't realize men did it as much. I was just thinking about blogging about the same thing.

    I say that phrase all the time. Mainly friends over hoes. Yes I do call men hoes sometimes.

    Good Post SBM

  30. First off where the hell is my welcome mister!!

    Secondly, nothing I say is stupid, especially on this subject…you're whining like a little bitch, it's as simple as that! Who said anything about cursing my mother out, I can respect her and put MY family first…meaning the one I create with my husband. And excuse me for having a little religion, but I do recall my statement coming straight from the Bible.

    And why the fuck is your comment box dragging like this?!?!?

    No one said anything about abandoning anyone, but you ARE your own man…handle your shit, then you won't need your boy to do it for you! Again this is nothing but a whining rant. My man will always come first, before my adult ass friends and my family…point blank(kids are another story, gotta love the kids first)! A random ass negro is also another story…and you damn right I'm that needy and despite what they claim to admit, all women are!

    Sure we need a little balance, some time for yourself and for family and friends…but you can't get mad at a negro if all he WANTS to do is lay up under his women hanging from her nipples all day…and shit if she's happy with it to then why can't you be.

    Again you just sound bitter…

  31. @Teacia: honey, we gonna pray that those curse words stop swimming thru your thoughts and coming thru that keyboard like that….

  32. I would say that the truth is somewhere in the middle on many levels we are all right…Hasani is right…to a certain extent. I do think that its natural to fall for someone and to be so engrossed with them to an extreme level…hell you may have even called in sick cause you were tied at the hip in the beginning. But overtime that would get your azz fired. Overtime it should come back to a happy medium. To abandon your family–is very EXTREME. The real indication of a person's true long lasting value is how they interact with your circle. You get to see what people are made of then. And you also get to see if your man/woman is really right for you. You get to see how they solve problems, how they deal with difficult people. Its sink or swim. And to me once you can flow with my crazy inner circle…its also an indication on how you manage people on the outside.

    I mean that is how you make a living (YOU MUST DEAL WITH OUTSIDE PEOPLE) The safe haven of your little nest cocoon is only real for asmall portion of your combined day.

  33. @Teacia: Please … I sound bitter … you would want some sorry ass n*gga hanging from your tit all day and having no life of his own. I guess your really looking for a dependent … or maybe you just don't interact with other people too well … but why would I want to give up the friendships, bonds, and time I have invested in my friends and family for one person.

    I guess these things are of no consequence to you … but I truly love my friends. They have helped me through rough times, celebrated my victories, and been there to help me through the loses. Why the f*ck am I giving that up for someone?!?! Personally, I would be insulted.

    At the end of the day, you are right … you are needy. You need a man, you need someone to take care of you, and you want him to abandon all others so he will always need you (shame thats how you have to keep him).

    And the comment box lags cause your computer slums. Upgrade your life

  34. i didn't even read above …Peace be still…we do sometimes go hard here…but we are still friends. We even like Hasani too. if we really wanna cuss we use %@#$ to soften the blow in between our words. All that should still come from a well intentioned place.

  35. @Comeback: I tried … I honestly did … but I have a real issue with people cursing at me (first line of her first comment) and someone trying to call me a b*tch. I mean … I'm a nice guy … but don't want anyone to get it twisted …

  36. @Neonnea: I have potty mouth…I'm trying to do better but not really. Oh and he cursed at me, I don't like being verbally attacked.

    @Comeback: I agree that a certain medium is necessary but why can't a person be content to spend most of their free time with their mate. Oh and when I read f*ck I actually see fuck…so they whole @#$% seems kind of pointless to me…but I get your drift.

    @BBM: "I sound bitter … you would want some sorry ass n*gga hanging from your tit all day and having no life of his own. I guess your really looking for a dependent … or maybe you just don’t interact with other people too well … but why would I want to give up the friendships, bonds, and time I have invested in my friends and family for one person."

    Ummm, you OBVIOUSLY don't know me! I personally don't date dependent men, but I don't hate on them either. And I have no problem interacting with people, I'm close to my family and my friends, but I don't think either of them would be terribly upset if I spent most of my time with my mate. And since this post is mainly about your boys and not your family, one would have to ask why you're so freaking codependent on your boys…enough so to have write a blog condemning men who don't come play playstation on the weekends anymore…lol, this is both sad and comical.

    Oh and ain't shit wrong with my connection!(almost made it out without cursing)

  37. @SBM…lol, so you're mad b/c I insinuated that you were acting like a [email protected] in my intial comment, because I didn't actually say that you were BUT you felt at great ease calling us women hoes…tsk, tsk…DO BETTER!!

  38. @Teacia: Since you wrote the first comment … you obviously cursed first. And u were a lil quick at the draw with it.

    I've decided I'm gonna be calm with you and just think of you as a needy child … that way I can't really get mad at you or blame you for your ignorance and overall stupid comments. Besides … you are entitled to your opinion.

    I will say … based off your first and second comment … it seems like you really would sell your mom's for a good man and I think thats wrong. Life is about balance, and no one should burn bridged with their friends over their current love interest. No one is complaining about playing playstation … but when someone I used to be able to count on or go to is now completely preoccupied by his other … thats sad. Most people seem to agree that abandoning people who have been around and will continue to be around just because you have a bf/gf is wrong.

    But … if that makes you happy … so be it. I honestly think your a weak person if you can't handle keeping friends and keeping a man.

    There is a guy here by the name of Hasani (aka HNIC) who can make you real happy. I know after you get with him though we will never hear from you again since that would be interacting with outside people.

    Hey … made it through without a curse. Good too … cause the B*s were bout to start flying out my mouth … and we know that won't end good.

  39. Teacia: Ideally you will spend a lot of your free time with your mate. However, Comeback is trying to point out that it shouldn't turn into an unhealthy obsession. If you and your girls you to hang out every Thursday night and they haven't seen you in 3 or 4 months, then that's an issue.

    And no…we don't know you; hence the reason you are posting your thoughts so that we can at least read where YOU are coming from…

  40. @neonna; in 2008 u can only call it like u see it.. if u see hoe..

    please recognize he or she for what they are and don't have them walking around masquerading as something other then what they are..lol

    its all good baby good.

    yesterday I was ho*…lol today i's reformed..

    "see daddy sinners got soul too" – color purple

    @teacia; firstly welcome..secondly

    u don't have to be so hostile..we are civlized adults. foul language is a sign of…nevermind she'll probably just cuss some more..lol

  41. @Teacia: Didn't I already address this Hoes controversy. I didn't call women hoes. The only two instances of the word hoe in the entire post were quotes. I even listed out "girlfriend, current love interest, or random jumpoff from the club" while writing.

    Damn … act like I called somebody a B* or something …

    @Every Woman Here: Your not a hoe! I love you so much *crying*. You are queens of the earth.

  42. @Akua: patronizing me doesn't show that you are in fact civilized, it only shows the opposite…and if you didn't notice I've already taken heed to the cursing etiquettes…please don't challenge my intelligence.

    @Neonna: a few of my homegirls got married in 2007 and I don't see them as much anymore but I don't sweat it and I don't think that their marriage is obsessive, I just keep hanging with my single friends and we all get together when we can…that's what friends do, they don't complain and they don't whine, they're just there.

    @SBM:my first comment said u were whining, please refer to it for clarification…my second comment in response to yours call you a [email protected] now you can attempt to color me sad, desperate and lonely but again you don't know me, and if u did u would be eating those words.

    And again I feel like your codependence on your boys is still a little iffy:

    "but when someone I used to be able to count on or go to is now completely preoccupied by his other … thats sad."

    Get over it…he's found happiness and it isn't with you!

  43. @Teacia: LOL … this is hilarious. You gonna call me gay next … cause I wrote about that a few weeks ago (search for homophobia). Maybe your not sad and desperate … maybe you are … don't care anymore. End of the day … don't be so needy … its not sexy … maybe you wouldn't be single if you didn't want someone to latch onto and not let go. But hey … do you.

    And lets look back, your first comment started with "stop fucking WHINING!!!". After that … it was on. Looking at your profile … it says your a swinger … how are you willing to cut off friends and family for your man … but share him with other people. Nothing wrong with it … just a lil … odd.

  44. DISCLAIMER: I was bored at work today, having a mighty unproductive day actually, when I decided I would fall through a new blog and get the party started right…lol…it was all in fun. No I don't think it's cool to abandon your family and friends for a love interest…men have feelings too…I get it…lol.

    This was fun guys…till next time!!

    Oh and my profile is for jokes genius…I only swing one way…don't take everything you read online so seriously…lol.

    Good day, good sir.

  45. Everybody needs to log off right now. Some of you all are acting really childish right now. It's a blog. These are people's opinions. Just LOL, add you two cents (respectfully) or log off.

  46. @Teacia: IDK … after all that arguing I'm a little worked up. Maybe you can come swing my way.

    I guess there is some truth to that whole love & hate argument … go figure.

    @Everyone: "fucking WHINING" in the first line of your first comment will end in me getting "angered". But its still all love.

  47. I definitely couldn't deal with a man being all up under me all the time, I enjoy my space at times. I would see a problem with a man who was unable to balance his love life, family, friends, and career. Life has multiple dimensions, and you cannot just live in one aspect of it. If my boyfriend told me," I'm going to hang with the boys friday night", I would say cool have fun.

    At the same time SBM, you have to admit, that guys(not all) have their guards up when one of the home boys has a new girl. They either give her the evil eye or the nonchalant "sup". Already judging her, before the know anything about her.

    Adding one more thing, some women also leave the home girls high and dry. Trust and believe I had to say "deuces" to a 7 year friendship because of some drama…smh

  48. @ Everyone: This site has really shined the light on what is wrong with the black community and dating. You guys can't get alone. There is so much fighting about bullshit. I can't imagine being a public place having these discussions, chairs might start flying…lol

    I mean people are telling people how they should and shouldn't talk. Telling people how to refer to women. Everyone accusing each other of being a certain way. This is so ridiculous. I don't think it is fair to impose what you think is right on someone else. State your opinion, but I don't think its logical to tell someone what they should do. Has anyone ever heard the phrase" To Each It's Own."

    @Akua..thats's me says: Using foul language is not a sign of anything. That is a choice, and someone has feed everyone a bunch of bullshit saying, that if a person curses they don't have a large vocabulary or not intelligent enough to use other words (not true). In reality it's a personal choice to curse. So what you lusting after a married man yesterday, its a new day and I hope you got the point yesterday.

    Life is simple folks, in everything you do you need to have balance. If you have a guy you are really digging then schedule time with your friends and stick to it. Maybe in the past you just did things on the fly, now you have to schedule. That way you still have times for friends and your mate. Get it together people!!!

  49. I am a man would feel a person can find balance between his friends and his lady. You see, my friends know that I will be there for them regardless. My friends wont hate on me If I say Im taking my lady out. They will respect that. Same goes with my lady, If I want to spend time with my friends, she will understand. We relate to each other.

  50. one more thing before I go back to the corner:

    "Wow! Is this What this site about? Lets all come down….(Whoosaa)"

    @DA it really isn't I feel personally invested in this blogs success from back in the day when it was me, anti, mik, and sbm. I think I was happy when I had 1 hit. I think what we are seeing are people who don't have a voice, who want to be heard, maybe they aren't doing the self-actualized thing yet so this is a source of THEIR personal expression. And it does get heated. Sometimes I get so mad at SBM I want to SPAM his mailbox, but at the end of the day its not that deep and it is all love.

    back to the corner.

  51. @SBM: Mission Accomplished…nothing like getting those juices flowing…oh and I'm home now and ur comment box is still draging a little…u may want to look into that. I enjoyed the debate…nothing like a man with a little passion to turn me on.

    @Ms. Devereaux: HILARIOUS!!!!…but I concur.

    @DA from GA: Absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!

  52. @Comeback: Hi, yes, Im new to this blog. I made a comment. Nothing to affend. Sorry you feel that way. But if Im not mistaken, this is a blog about certain topics for people to discuss and write there opinions. Thats what I did. And you right, It is not that deep and it is all love.

  53. Hot damn! Ya'll showed ya'll asses today huh??? LOL!!!

    Having scrolled through the entire thread, I would like to point out that if you are new to someone's blog it would probably be best if you didn't call the host a 'fucking whiner' in your very first comment. That's just a sure way to 'win friends and influence people' (google it it's a book title) *sarcasm off*. This blog is SBM's house. Don't come in and shit on his rug.

    It might be prudent to fall back and get a feel for how the regulars do things round this here joint.

    That is all.

    (see I used several cuss words..I just didn't cuss AT anyone!)

  54. @Tiffany In Houston: Ummmmmm, it was a joke and WE have since digressed…and SBM is no longer upset about it b/c he actually understood my perversed self-entertainment.

    AND it's a blog, it's not rocket science or brain surgery…it doesn't take deep thought or self reflection to post your individual opinions on any subject…there's no need to fall back and get a feel for it. You write your opinion and then you click submit, if there is a certain etiquette required by the responder then the blog should be private, or at the very least not able to receive responses unless you're a member and friend…even myspace has that concept down packed.

    Also if I were being completely serious, then why can't I call him a "fucking"(don't know why we're parenthesizing that word) whiner if it's the impression I got from the blog…which by the way it did have a whining undertone…sorry SBM. He's blogging online and it's a public blog, can you really expect for people to be congenially biased to the host just to stroke his ego and respect his rug(that is unless it's Persian). You're doing too much…man I apologize if my crassness offended the folks on the blogsite…lol…HI-LARRY-US!!!

    Oh and on your friends and influence comment, I gave a self-improvement seminar last night on that very thing…again it was a joke, one for which I apologized…smile it's Tuesday…geesh…ignore my rhetoric, they were just words, and as Ms. Devereaux so eloquently pointed out, fact or fiction aren't I entitled to have them.

  55. LOL…exactly…and thank you for the well wishes.

    @SBM and anyone else in the D.C. area: I will be in town for the DNC rally next weekend…any ideas for where to party.

  56. Whats with all the good nights … its still early.

    @Teacia: There is always a party going on over here … like at my house. Your the special guest.

    BTW … comment box lags in a few browsers because of the little "Available space" thing at the bottom of the screen. Had a problem before with essays in the comment boxes.

    @Tiffany: And thats why I love you. I mean sure we can all say whatever, but damn if I don't get a lil worked up when someone comes out the gate saying XYZ … you might just have to put them in check. Love the sh*t on rug analogy.

    @Comeback: No need to hide. And I'm about to text anti. I think the Oxygen moment yesterday ran him off.

    @DA: Welcome … didn't know the comments section had truly turned into such a community … but their all good people … I can vouch for most of them.

  57. Whew I left to go get my hair done and saw all the comments. It seems like everything has calmed down now. Thank goodness 🙂

    Have a goodnight all.

  58. @SBM: ummmmm…on the private house party…yeah, i think i'm going to have to pass on that one…lol…BUT if you want to play host at a bar downtown or a club i'm sure my friends and i will be more than grateful!!

  59. lol…i don't drink so no sponsor needed…but as it gets closer to the date i would love ur input.

    …if my friends can come, ur house might be a good pit stop! 🙂

  60. The more I read from comeback the more I worry about her. if your "tired" of men after about a week, you need to address that. I can understand SBM's zeal for hommies over hoes because of our age gap but a 34 year old woman who still dosent know the meaning of devotion and gets "tired" of men is …. well its a problem with our culture quite frankly.

    SBM: Yes my sister and my main homeboy got cut out for my ex. There is a little thing called growing up. I cant hang out on the block and chase random chicks and pass off dope money when I am in surburbia as a grown black man trying to build a life. and as for why would you cut off your family for your wife? negro your wife IS YOUR GOD DAMN FAMILY

    obviously random chick around the way is not gonna get between me and anything. hell i blew off a date just to play Xbox with you last week. but for my woman who is my wife or permanent partner? i gotta think whats best for my team. and a mans first priority is to HIS family …. not his fathers. and if your friends and family…. hell even if your god damn PRIEST is not beneficial in your growth in life and love…. you need to put them to the side.

    here let me put it another way… you have a house you run with a woman. your woman says she wants yellow curtains, you think you want black curtains. While debating this with your woman your mother comes by and hangs pink drapes. you gonna let your mom do your house or are you going to make that decision with your woman?? her opinion isnt valid because shes not in the bedroom doin the fuckin at night…

    I mean, we dont have a say in our fathers households, and our family dosent have a say in ours. why? because we run this household with another person. that person is who you listen to and who you base your opinions around….. not mommy.

  61. ok… checked out the poll.

    do women seriously walk around with so much insecurity that they think going to the strip club as a man is cheating???

    thats like a man saying a woman reading a romance novel is cheating because the only visions of romance in her head should be of him (no mo e lynn harris for joo!!) infact… lets take it a step further and include movies as well. everything seems easy to say when its anti men… but seems rather absurd when we put it in anti feminine terms now dont it? 😉

  62. @teacia; oh bless ur heart hasani would love that..he's been looking for love! lol..

    Good morning all.

  63. "if your “tired” of men after about a week, you need to address that. I can understand SBM’s zeal for hommies over hoes because of our age gap but a 34 year old woman who still dosent know the meaning of devotion and gets “tired” of men is …. well its a problem with our culture quite frankly."

    hasani WHY do you insist on aging me. I AM NOT 34. Stop it!!! Secondly I SAID over and over that I am working on my dating ADD.

  64. none taken teacia, but nice guys are like jello theres always room for more, eventhough we all know that us nice ones are just "jump off" material while the thug is home beatin it up between the sheets once a week 😀

    Comeback: Well thats why we are here. to talk about this type of thing and help eachother right? thats the shit our race is based on like I keep on sayin.

    I thought you were 34? dunno why I thought that… must be all the gray hair in your pic……………….

    whoops!!!! 🙂

  65. I just checked your blog for your age….

    NO COMEBACKGIRL SHOUD NOT DATE A WHITE MAN

    yes Im a hypocryte after spending 10 years with a white woman… respect my double standard gawd damnit.

    i think it may be time for comeback to have an inervention. you have my email address you should reach out I think I need to call you at work tonight. we can even argue before your intervention …. just to make you feel better,

  66. I used to keep them on a steady rotation like that, but since I've gone back to school I just don't have enough time in the day for the extras…lol, besides I have a 5yr old that keeps me plenty occupied.

    BUT I will be in the D.C. Metro next weekend so we should all hang out…SBM set that up shawty…lol. Oh and Hasani I don't do thugs…never really got the idea behind it, considering it's not where we come from as a race…in my mind it's a just a made up persona used to substitute the insecurities that black men in today's society face…and I don't do fictional characters.

    @Comeback: I agree, don't date white men…YET…let's give the brothers at least through Barack's first term to see the light…maybe that will spark a glimmer of hope and redirect them back to their roots…MAYBE *sighing*

    Well I got absolutely NO work done yesterday…and I mean none in the literal sense…so I may be ghost all day trying to clear my desk of these damn degree audits and exam error messages….blaaaaaaaaaah…till then folks. (i doubt i stay that focused though)

  67. @teacia; once you join the blog its often hard to get any work done..lol

    @comeback sis I had this same conversation with hasani yesterday

    I mean u you feel that's where its at then by all means catch the jungle fever. however can a white man or a man of any non minority class of people truly identify with the oppression we suffered as a people?

    has his father or brother ever been stopped for driving while black?

    or followed around a store?

    all he can ever say is geez honey I'm sorry that happened .. not trying to get on my soap box (stepping down) however I do know that true love is color blind (is that a contridiction?)

    never the less any black/white or inter racial relationship would be difficlt to sustain. just make him watch roots and amistad back to back..he'll be good after that.

  68. WTF!?!? u cant do work! get back on here and blog with us!

    now "in theory" a white man is perfect for the black woman. the black woman is the domanant in the black relationship and the white man is the dominant in the white relationship……(and the whole fuckin country but thats another story)

    the black man is compassionate, affectionate and very loving in this day and age but we lack the financial savy and earning power of other men. Thats not what a black woman needs at this point in our society (but dont worry the asian and white women do hence the census statistics reflecting it)

    White men have power, poise and a commanding presence. they have incredible earning potential and are financially astute and often times even savy. the current black woman actually would yearn for this type of man. he woulld provide her relationship with the sturdy no nonsense hand that it needs. a sista isnt gonna walk all over a white man… come on now we know thats not gonna happen. A black man being a subserviant is used to putting his head down and averting confrontation (unless in a group) we shuck and jive for the cops and boosses all the time so it comes natural to us. bt this is not how to handle a black woman, which causes a respect imbalance….. which ruins households.

    so seein as how the current back woman likes wealth, stability, earning potential, power and money in their men… a white man would be a good option.

    too bad for you guys that 78% of black women are overweight (50% are obese)… have fun getting down from a size 10 (or 16)to a size 4. and lets not forget…. white man leads middle class america with the highest divorce amount.

    so we'll see ya back in the datin pool in say… 5 years shal we?

    damn ya gotta hate me sometimes 😉

  69. Hasani, please go in time out. My request would be that you start to reference these thoughts to some credible sources. Playboy not included.

  70. @hasani…u are so special..I wonder from time to time if u rode the short bus to school.

    where did u get those statistics?

    and a size 10 is overweight in who's eyes? yours?

  71. Yes I am s special I am goin to try out for the special olimpics this year

    I rode the short bus in school

    I am not very smart.. and even less street smart.

    my had a very non pertinent major in college

    I dont make very much money

    I drive a car thats older than most of the people on this blog, so Im far from a baller

    and Im average lookin at best, slightly overweight and am a huge dork!! 🙂

    now that I have taken all of the ammo away you have to sling.

    Dont hate me for statistics you all have created. Ever hear the term dont shoot the messenger?

    if you all dont like the results of the US census then get off your ass and do something to change them.

  72. Yall Hasani is SBM's ruder less tactful cousin. I think he likes to get a rise out of us all…most fashion models aren't even 2's and the retired ones who are still hot as well (Iman, Kimora, Tyra) aren't even 4's …I mean I've seen Tyra pushin 12s in the last year. So whatever…and at 5'8 at a size 4…please somebody take me too the hospital.

  73. don't take me to burger king..take me to the cheesecake factory..give me a knife and a fork and back away from the table…lol.

  74. I personally like em a lil thick … nothing too serious … but skinny women scare me … but maybe thats just me! Also, being a breast man, it just works out that way.

    @Comeback: Try dating a white guy. Its not that bad. And your description of Hasani was spot on. I try and teach him in the ways of not pissing black women off too much though. A little anger makes ya'll worked up … too much and your grabbing bats and knives (even the non hoodrats love violence).

    @Teacia: Bet … you and your people are all welcomed. But before they come I need full body shots … and the skinny ones might have to drive up to Jersery for Hasani.

    @Hasani: I do agree that white men like their women significantly thinner then us. My theory for that has to do with too much ass and not enough D* … but maybe thats just my ignorance levels raising as I prepare for Bike Week.

    I don't think we're ever gonna stop calling you Hasani … just go back. Really … we all know who the HNIC is around here anyways (flops it on the table to state his dominance … then table breaks under the weight …)

  75. Im rude? not even close.

    No tact? well thats dead on.

    Im sorry comeback…. how exacty would you like me to sugar coat statistics?? should i put the numbers in pink for you and perhaps if I put a picture of gucci sunglasses and blanics next to the numbers it would make them more appealing to you all?

    dont delude yourself. I super mod is "a size 8" only because 1) shes hot as hell and 2) shes frigin 6 feet tall!! a normal woman is going to be 5'5. a size 8 at 5'5 is too bi for my white friends. shes consitered thick. my godbrother (as white as you can make em) dumped his college sweetheart fr gaining 15lbs. she was 130 i think. I go to the gym and the poor white women be in their FIERCE on the tredmill. they gotta attract bret and chad so they know they ave to.

    my baby godbrother feels the same way about black women as yall do about them. "if I date a black woman she has to be SMOKIN hawt dude!" and thats commin from a white man who grew up with black people!!! imagine what normal middle class 30 year old sinle white males are saying to themselves? so no your size 10 ass is not going to cut it.

    yes size 10 is overweight. according to me? I wont give a comment about my personal opinion on womens weight, I guess Ill let comeback stew a bit longer on that one, but what i think dosent matter… talk to the FDA. if they wanna change what an average human for heiht and weight should be at then ok.

    but I know I go to the gym 8 times a week. not 2…. not 4…. 8. I used to have 32% bodyfat but now am workin my way down below 20 with a goal of 12. I didnt like being part of the problem so I got off my fat ass and did something about it. too bad my ass is still phat though, im cursed with bein a dude thats shaped like a video vixen 🙁

  76. " we all know who the HNIC is around here anyways (flops it on the table to state his dominance … then table breaks under the weight …)"

    so bike week causes delusions and hysteria????

  77. Hasani…WOW!!

    Well I'm chillin' at 5'2, 145 and despite a little extra phat around the thighs I ain't complaining…besides i'm gorgeous anyways!!

  78. @Hasani: OK … I'm now startign to think that this obsession with looks and sizes is helping to lead your dating conversion rate. I mean … it takes a lot to get and keep a model. While my Billy Dee like game would render them feable minded and complacent, I don't have the energy and don't see the pay off in searching for a "model". Give me personality, curves, and a bubble butt any day of the week.

    @Comeback: I'll admit … the table might not break … but damn if ya'll won't know who the real HNIC is round here.

    And bike week just increases one's ignorance levels … I'll try and keep it manageable … but again … I don't promise anything.

    @Trecia: I've seen ur pics … couldn't say anything before (with us fighting and whatnot) … but definitely looking right. Don't listen to Hasani … he's delusional. Me … I'm still worked up from yesterday.

  79. OH…SBM it's a plan. We're coming on a bus with like 10,000 people…well several hundred buses, so we'll be cabbing it where ever we go unless you're offering to play taxi as well…:-D

    And I don't really have any body shots of anyone coming…lol, some of them may even back out…so it may just be myself and one other…I don't know why anyone would pass up a free trip to D.C….well I'll be thurr, you can count on that!!

  80. Ain't nobody SERIOUSLY paying Hasani any mind!!..we're just feeding his head with mindless dribble…encouraging the rhetoric if you will…lol.

    And thanks for the compliment…I do what I can, in fact, I have to get off this damn computer and hit up the gym…yall got me 15 minutes off schedule…it's a good thing this isn't a training session, my trainer would crucify me if it were…later guys…SBM you got the email, hit me up and let me know the details.

  81. I do consider all the ideas you have offered in your post.
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