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Moment of Clarity

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I’m still here … but no post today

Work is crazy, someone said they lost all respect for me because of this blog (still can’t figure that one out), and just got a bunch of stuff going on.

Don’t worry … the usual foul mouthed, big dick swinging, controversy invoking SBM will be back real soon … I would call it a comeback … but aint gonna be gone that long!



Until I return … a little ignorance to hold you over …

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z38pxTyxp6g]

Comment(64)

  1. OK so "miss may" and I spoke lastnight. for those of you who dont remember. Miss may is a woman who I went on dates with for 6 months since last holoween. pretty much the ideal catch of a woman. and prety much I would do anything she asked, whenever she wanted because… well I like to make people happy.

    She suddenly up and left the relationship. stating that I was too nice to drag through the mud and she "felt bad"

    well not that I have recaped. I called her lastnight. you KNOW I didnt have a reason at all for doing so. And asked her how she was since she moved on. She explained that she felt "relived" to not be dating me anymore. She loved the fact that she didnt have to be accountable for anyone elses feelings but her own and she didnt have to be accountable for anything she did.

    Im not as shocked by the answer as I am that an actual human being could let words like that come out of their mouth at age 30.

    comeback once said that she was afraid of commitment, although on paper and physical appearance alone she would be a perfect candidate for most middle class men to have as a mate. I really dont think its just her there seems to be a widespread case of women who are so settled that they dont want a committed relationship… unless its knock you off the floor perfect.

    I find this such a college "van wilder" type mentality and it almost makes me cry that at 30 someone could still feel "pressure" and "accountability"from going out on 4 dates a month.

    This is not the first woman I have gone on a date with that has said that they either "dont have time" to date seriously or dont have the ability to date because they are not where they think they should be mentally.

    is there a problem with commitment thats spreading? is it the fear that black men havent lived up to our hype for the past 30 years and now the black woman has taken on our curse? is it something deeper like that so many middle class sistas have seen their friends couzins and mothers do it alone that they almost feel that being without a man is the way life should be lived?

    or could it be todays woman idealizing sex in the city movie and lifestyle? doing what you want when you want and living a fabulous lifestyle where you and your girlfriend are the mainstars and men are an item to not really be taken seriously… just there for the comic relief and off panel banter fodder. Men are like a pair of shoes and you can try on a pair just to see how they fit and after the thrill is gone from seeing yourself in them they lose their appeal… especially when you have to think about buying them.

    or It just could be that I myself am just a bum ass scrub who is too much of an Al Roker like "corn ball" and "love hippy

    to offset my lousy income 🙂

    only god knows for sure… but it all makes good food for thought 🙂

  2. Well Hasani I have a little news flash for you…30 is not the new 73. You don't go to a nursing home. You don't take metamucil. You don't lament about having a man (well not long laments). I'm picky because I have a right to be (i hate to toot my own horn but…its catchy LOL). I have a right to ask for men with no kids (because I don't have any), I have a right to ask for a man who is succcessful in his own endeavors (well because I am), the inwardness, the sincereness, the drama free stuff, sincerity, kindheartedness, a man's man, single (so women like other women's husbands and long term mates)

    I bring what I ask for. Except for the man's man thing…I'm a chick's chick. I value friendships, I don't undermine other women because "I think" there is only one man on the universe (which goes back to the above).

    "or could it be todays woman idealizing sex in the city movie and lifestyle? doing what you want when you want and living a fabulous lifestyle where you and your girlfriend are the mainstars and men are an item to not really be taken seriously"

    I would also encourage you to ACTUALLY go see the movie. The way the story unfolds is that they are ALL in relationships, one to their actual detrement…Samantha can't even fit into her damn clothes because she feels compelled to stay with a man who was equally loyal when she was going through her chemo thing, their sex life is in the crapper, so she eats to "sublimate" (thats a catholic highschool word).

    ..more food for thought.

  3. SBM dont get made that I called her. I admit I fell off the wagon. but in my defense.

    there so few quality women out there why wouldnt I want to call an actual quality woman back? especially one with stats as good as hers, shes not a buckethead for sure.

    Tecia said I dont know how to keep a woman. Kinda hurt my feelings and do some thinking. So I fell off the wagon and called…. now feel worse.

    comeback. forget the movie. look at the lifestyle the show has promoted. Ive watched my galpals , sisters and cousins all idealize the show and they pretty much all life the lifestyle now as well. to each his own though…. men did it in the 90s.

    comeback, you dont deserve anything. you get thins the old fashioned way you EARN them.

    If I were to hold my breath for a female equivilant of me I would be here a while. Find a sista with 15% body fat with 40 inch hips and an almost 40 inch chest with a coorporate job, well mannered, compassionate, goofy, well dressed, good teeth,loyal, prideful but not pigheaded and most of all honorable… Im SO marryin her on the spot.

    Yes IM inthe 40 40 club as a dude. Im ike a black jessica rabbit my ass is so fat 🙁

  4. Hasani aint nobody got time for you today.

    My closing remarks are this…the movie TO me and my friends and other women I know was equally about relationships with other women as they were about what age means in this country-the backdrop was the relationship between Big & Carrie. These women are WELL into their 40s now, with one 51. And they still look GREAT even without makeup.

    I saw messages about loyalty and friendship-maintaining a sense of independance while also having a close tie to your mate. I left not thinking about where my Big is…but how sometimes I've sucked at friendship when in a relationship. How I chose my man over a friend on more than one occassion. I got the message about being a better friend, a better woman…little if anything about a penis. I also got the message that I have TIME. I have all my teeth, my health is EXCELLENT, I'm not bad to look at, I'm doing 33 justice phsyically and mentally, I don't think I'm missing anything..men are men they'll be around when I'm done working on me.

  5. I'm just happy he's not fussing with me today…lol. and Sani sorry about hurting your feelings but you alluded to me being a skank and I thought my attitude towards you after that was quite fair. You can't just say things to us(women) and not expect a backlash, we ARE still very senstive and need for our men to be understanding and supportive while we go through this new evolution of womanhood…we're all still figuring it out as well.

    And as far as Miss May goes…well it was her loss and she did you a favor. If you were nice to her and gave her a side of you that we aren't privy to, then it's her loss…but Sani it's also her right. For whatever reason you weren't her speed and it was thoughtful of her to set you free to find someone who would care about you as much as you care about them. See it as a blessing…and we all fall off that damn bandwagon every now and then…just don't let that shit happen again(in a scolding tone). 🙂

    1. Although I didn't listen to it in its entirety maybe you can explain to me exactly what a "Dougie" is since they seem to have embraced it there b/c it sholl hasn't caught on here in Florida.

  6. Your not sorry about hurting my feelings.

    it was your deliberate intent… so why even bother to apologize???? you apologize for things you do accidentally and you would rectify if you could. kinda like being a CEO with you shareholders or committy to report to 0_O!?

    Miss may is a catch and a half, id have to rank her way ahead of you comeback. thiner, more curvy, much more education, tons more geeky as well as playful and pretty nice to stare at as well. As 9 cent as you are you have to give it up for ol girl if shes holdin it down more than yourself…. so you can se why I have to fall off the wagon and crawl back and see if she changed her mind. theres not enough "good" black women to date..much less "superior quality" black women 😐

    Its not a case of lookin for another dude… her expiation is she likes freedom and lack of responsibility. such a wierd term to use as a grown woman, but Im seeing more and more not in todays middle class black, NY metro area.

    can ya tell Im slightly frustrated today!? Al roker is defiantly not in the building today

  7. I unfortunately watched the entire thing, hoping to figure out what in the world is a "Dougie". At the end of it all, I was upset that I wasted my time since I still wasn't able to come to a conclusion about the definition for "Dougie". I'm also still lost on what a bust it baby is..lol..these kinds of songs are geared towards my age group and I am LOST.

    1. oh i got you on bussit baby…b/c quietly i think i was one for a good minute but the situation worked for the moment…lol.

      it's a chic who a guys calls up when he wants to see her for sex or whatever, she doesn't object, she doesn't question him and she doesn't ever call him unless she wants something which usually entails shopping, which he gladly gives b/c she keeps it treal(trill)…oh and the sex and head is FIRRRRE!!

  8. Im from the north

    live in the suburbs

    and dont listen to rap

    so Im actually more lost than any of you are wit this video 😐

    but I dont have to understand the music to appreciate them fine woman struttin around in the short shorts 🙂

  9. @Comeback: For once in my life (and probably the only time) I was going to agree with one of your comments. Then you started talking about that Waiting to Exhale while You Got Your Groove Back in the City $h*t. And to think…you suggested that a heterosexual male actually go see this film. puh! Shame on you Comeback! Maybe if it was your bf and he had to go see it in exchange for a special treat. Please, let's not advocate men going to see chick flicks lest they utter the word "toiletries" and automatically be considered gay. After all, this is a blog for SINGLE BLACK MALES (women with little work pen*ses not included).

  10. @Anti

    Am I being baited into a guest post 🙂

    "you started talking about that Waiting to Exhale while You Got Your Groove Back in the City $h*t. And to think…you suggested that a heterosexual male actually go see this film."

    You sound like your on the fence. The coast is clear (no more lines/sold out shows). If your scared go in an obscure neighborhood. I know tons of guys who loved SATC on HBO and they were all straight. I think it was just enjoying the characterization of REALLY different women and then how they all vibed..or maybe it was seeing who was gonna get some that week.

    "(women with little work pen*ses not included)."

    that was funny..you'd be surprised the dyck you have to have to ask a man to skinny his margin on your rate.

    @Hasani- am I supposed to be upset. If there are women out there who suit your fancy, by all means..make it do what it do. I'm not everybody's cup of tea, and thats fine, I promise I'll lose no sleep at all. Like I said, I try and be a chick's chick. Its a dick's chick who would bend over backward to make her square peg fit into your round hole, and then hate on some other woman because she wasn't good enough.

    btw–that little rampage didn;t endear me more to you. It actually does the opposite….more food for thought.

  11. rampage? Comeback…. anytime I do anything except speak of money and power in your current state of mind… would I do anything to turn you on. its the only things your type listens to at the moment.

    oh and Ummm i would never have thought mentioning theres a woman with better stats than you all the way around would be viwed as a put down. but it seems to have jarred a wierd response.

    you are a FANTASTIC catch. for any man. but even you will be the first to admit your not a swimsuit model. and also you have no desire to be. just like I dont have Denzels body…. actually mines better (pats self on the back )

    your also cool and normal educated… and obviously not working on a double PHD. I totally dont see how you viw that as a slam to you. its more of a "comback is a 9 on a scale of 1-10" and of all people I woould think you see my dilema. shes just as fine as you view yourself to be… only a bit more so… and with the lack of good black women… much less "superior quality" how do I do anything less than cal again or send flowers ect ect?

    It would be col to sit here and say "nah dude Im never gonna talk to dat hoe again…. I got minez son!!" but while I have pride and a code I always adhere too, I also know ego is a killer and always has been.

    I think SBM needs a quote system insted of threaded comments

  12. "anytime I do anything except speak of money and power in your current state of mind… would I do anything to turn you on"..probably not Hasani. I'm in a creation period in my life, not a lovie dovie one. Have a good evening.

  13. Hasani, I am just wondering… why are you so confrontational with everyone? Please don’t say that you are not because everyone on here knows its the truth.

    SBM: Who the hell said they lost respect for you because of this blog? Why did they feel that way?

  14. ever notice that some days you love my words and others you absolutly HATE them? My moral set dosent waver and I care alot about principal. my ideas are very radical compared to some so that causes angst. then it gets pushed further by the way I write. Like in my previous post… I didnt put comeback down. I actually praised her polish. but somehow she took me as dogging her

    Hell I even told her she has a covergirl type beautiful face…. and she came back with "omg your calling me fat"

    ya cant win. I would say we all need to sit down and talk face to face about these issues… but Im quite the coward without my keyboard …. hence being such a simp 🙂

    I love comeback more than I can express. I respect a woman with a moral code opposite of mine more than I respect someone who wavers… and plus shes so cute to look at 🙂

    but our "types" currently conflict and I wish I knew why. types meaning the middle class black male and middle class black female arent getting together. we SHOULD all be married/dating and enriching out spirits and households at 33… not claiming how great your resume looks and seeing how many pairs of Gucci sunglasses we can buy.

    i worry. I wish we all loved eachother alot more. I wish you guys respected us like you did 30 years ago. I wish we didnt have this hostility between us. I know your gonna shrug me off and call me a "hippie" again but deep down alot of you know my words ring true.

  15. ever notice that some days you love my words and others you absolutly HATE them? …Not sure if this is true

    We definitely need to sit down and met face to face. Everyone should keep in mind about blogging, txt messages, IM, and email is that alot of context is lost in this type of communication. Tone and emotion you can't determine. Unless a person is a master of articulation then you will always at some point be misinterpreted. This could be why she responds in such a manner. I dont know, just guessing.

    Yeah, but unfortunately it doesn't seem like you have a chance with a woman you respect, 'love' and admire for the moral codes…sorry, its like that sometime.

    I definitely agree we do need to love, appreciate, and uplift each other more. That's all I have been preaching.

    With all that said though, I don't think you answered my question. Basically, I think you are saying that you appear confrontational because of your moral standards and the way you present them to us?

    Honestly, though its not as bad as you think.

  16. this is why me and you seem to agree so much and I alwas go out of my way to say how much I appreciate your stance and view on topics. obviously we wont always agree because I am male.

    And yes I did answer your question. I have radical views it seems. but nothing seems to cause more pain and angst than words you need to hear put in ways you dont want to hear them.

    Example.

    I somehow got on the topic of weight with someone here. I dunno how. She states shes not over weight but blames "the white man" of putting a view in my head of ultra thin models and such…. pretty much doing the normal human thing of making excuses insted of addressing the problem. I then point out its not "the white man" that says she is overweight its medical documentation. I pull up a figure and post a link. It spiraled out of control from there as a hate fest from a simple statement of truth.

    Im poor. I have no problems saying I am poor its the social and economical status I am at. Im not going to make an excuse and say the "white mans standards" are why I am considered poor…. Im gonna say Its the fact that I cant afford to pay middle class rent and im an adult :p

    My journalism teacher said it best.. truth hurts.

    go back and read most of my post. its not like I come out and say.. "omg u suk yo!!"

    heheh Im quite loveable … if you have the similar moral structure as myself that is.

    but enough about me… lets talk about love life and relationships!

    QB: because I dont identify with the lower class black folk and I dont care what happens in the charmed life of the upperclass "african americans" and I also feel you cant lump all of us into the same category because we all have separate things going with us divided by social class. some same.. but most not. Hell we cant even get half of the black women who are 80k a year (middle class) to talk to or respect 50k a year black males…. and you really want me to lump in brotha who works hard on the loading docks (used to be me by the way) for 15k with the "miss ER" type women of the world who make over 100k solo!?!?!

  17. @Hasani: If you're going to refer to me in ur post then just say my name. To prove the point Ms. D was making…today I gave you nothing but encouraging words and even apologized for hurting your feelings after you implied I was a skank…and all because I used a phrase that YOU didn't like. But even after my encouraging words about ole girl who not only dislikes you but will also disrespect you, you chose to focus on the negative and say that I didn't mean I was sorry and then revert back to me lying about my non profit.

    I'm convinced that you can't see your faults in this whole thing. You got on this tangent about how much body fat you have and I said that it wasn't fat, that you were fine…and the I went on to how much I like my figure but would love to tone it a little…then you went on the attack calling me fat and citing statistics. ALOT of men love my body and instead of allowing me to be happy with who I am, you attacked me based on medical interpretation…mind you I am in no medical danger being 20 pounds over the weight requirement for my height…and even after that when were attempting to discuss helping our society and what we were doing to make a difference you completely ignored my entire post and proceeded to tell me to get off of my fat ass and change it…now why would you say that. Your words are malicious, spiteful and meant to tear people down, and frankly I'm done doing this back and forth with you…it's a waste of my energy, my optimistic attempts at piece and my keystrokes…I'm done…you can continue on with urself.

  18. I see my faults in my everyday life gal… im a realist.

    I dont make a habbit of calling people out on things, if you want your credit you can claim it.

    You arent appologizing when you are deliberate in doing something. saying "sorry" means something if its something you didnt mean and wouldnt do again. your point WAS to hurt and demean me (which you succeeded very much in) and given the circumstances you would (and just have) do it again.

    Hateful. your all very hateful. just like I said to msD that no matter what I say, you just want to take it in a negative way. I say i appreciate what your doing for your city and community like 4 seperate times in my post… ROFL and your still so bitter and rancorous you cant even notice it. Nobody thinks your lying… well not until you started feeling self concious about it… but you cant proclaim yourself CEO of a non profit charity you created. thats like the most vain thing I ever heard for an act thats supposidly selfless.

    if your fat and fine with it… then yoru fine with it. but if your a size 14 and blame the white man for having influence on whats overweight obese and skinny your deluded. just be fine with your weight figure…or whatever, Ive nevr seen you so I wouldnt know hell I may even like it. but if your overweight then YOUR OVERWEIGHT. christ almighty dont shoot me for your figure you made it for yourself… but like I always said ….

    if you dont like the statistics get off your fat ass and change them.

  19. You arent appologizing when you are deliberate in doing something. saying “sorry” means something if its something you didnt mean and wouldnt do again… Hasani, isn't it difficult to determine if someone is 'sorry'. I would suggest taking it for what it is. An apology, someone recognizing their error and attempting to correct it…Just a suggest 🙂

    Everyone should just STOP judging each other. No one has a heaven or hell to put anyone in. If you want to correct someone try saying it in a uplifting way. We can speak to each other in a more respectful and positive tone. We are all adults sometimes I feel like I am reading a high school blog comments. If you don't like what someone says then simply disengage them and move on. You probably have work to do anyway…lol

    I would like to suggest that if we can get our point across in a positive way, try waiting until you can do so. I can feel alot of aggression between everyone talking on here. I just don't get you people sometime.

    If memory serves me correcting this blog is by SBM about Dating, Relationship, Marriage…and all that good shit! Daily everyone gets off the subject of the blog and on a rant about something totally off.

    Let's accept/ respect each other personalities…This is my observations of the fam.

    SBM- Say's what he wants to say. He mediates this blog pretty well. I think he is a very interesting individuals. He can be a little ridiculous in some of his post, but hell it's his blog.

    Hasani- drops stats(are they accurate, who knows? Do the research and let us know), long post, and sometimes takes things out of context….thats his thing doesn't seem like he is going to change anytime soon so accept it or don't respond. Other times he is right on point. However he pisses most of the women off on here. While also having a love for Comeback.

    Teacia- seems to hold her on for the most part. She can come off aggressive and can to help sometime. She also attempts to keep things light. After a little back and forth she regains her cool and lets it role off her back.

    Comeback- Stands firm in what she believes and wont waver. She can take things in the wrong way,and completely out of context. While trying to be nice she can always drop sarcastic lines in her comments. She comes off strong, confident and set on what she wants while also seeming a little sensitive. Sometimes throws darts but can't take it. Much like Teacia she can hold her on. She has absolutely no interest in Hasani it appears.

    Mikki- cool, doesn't really get in back and forth fights with other. Usually just chill. Haven't seen enough on her yet.

    Shelia- mature with her approach. Never confrontational. She says what she has to say and thats it. You can definitely tell she has a 'NO DRAMA' spirit. I can't recall her getting into a spat with anyone.

    Antidater- I dont really know what to say . He is like shelia and rarely gets into it with others. He says what he wants and keeps it moving. Pretty cool to me.

    Neonna- I don't know what to say about her either.

    Before anyone goes into attack mode, this is my opinion and observation. I could be totally off, feel free to correct and also evaluate me. Lets keep the peace people I don't like to see black people fighting. Damn if nothing else do for Barack Obama…lol

    Sorry, so long… but definitely give me your feedback. I can take it…lol

  20. drop stats!?

    Ill answer that in short… NO

    and you can dispute statistics but come on… how senseless is it to dispute them?? if you tell the truth that people dont want to hear they will say your making it up. if you provide numbers and reasoning from a credible source that on the other hand sends people into a rage because…. well nobody likes to hear the truth

    buy MsD if I could only have dated 43 women with your benevolent and graceful temperament, it would be a very very uneventful editorial indeed.

    but yes I do have a thang for comeback. perhaps I just like women who I know will treat me bad and I know I wll treat them like gold. Im so moving to DC 😉

  21. WHy tho….did that one guy in the video have on a bubble vest and a long sleeved shirt and allthe other guys had on short sleeve shirts and the girls had on short shorts and tanks….LMAO!!!! something wrong with that picture

  22. @Ms. D: right on time with ur post…I've been falling back b/c for one I am in school, working, full time parenting and have the non profit, 3 weeks of time consumption on this blog was more than enough for me.

    @Hasani: I'm an 8 not a 14…but hey I'll gladly sit on my fat ass and love every bit of me…along with ALLLL of the fellas who are in constant admiration vehemently trying to get at your girl and lock me down(yeah I have several Hasanis on my team…room for one more if ur interested). And yes I am a self proclaimed CEO, as well as the appointer of my board of directors…hey so I'm a narcissist, sue me already…after all there would be no org if it weren't for me…and it would fall apart if I kept it moving. So I guess in summation I'm fat ass narcissist with a starting line up to die for and I wouldn't want it any other way! 🙂

    @Confused: baggage is an understatement….but then again who doesn't have any?!?!?

  23. Teacia:

    THERE WE GO GIRL!!! thats what im talkin about. now how do you feel about yourself that you have kept it 100 and said things that may or may not show in a favorable light to everyone? feels righteous eh?

    Umm if you have 10 Hasanis on your team, thats nothing to brag about hun. Tall and buff yes, but Curvy hips a fat ass long eyelashes and anafinity towards baking….. low income, crappy car, no condo anymore and no gold/jewlery? pfft Im a catch but thre are more desirable men to have 10 of. no woman shoud have 10 of me, she would become the most conceited and venomous woman on the planet. I dunno how I do it to women but my mom just sat down with me and talked to me about it. she traced back to my HS girlfriend.. its a talent, dunno how I do it. she oves this blog but wonders where I get my ideals from… says I am not nice to you ladies. (shrug) amazing how she can tell me in one paragraph I am too wishy washy with the women I love and then the next tell me I have to bend over backwards for women I am trying to debate with over the internet…. sigh thats my mother 😐

    i appreciate what you do with your org. just as long as we have it clear your playing "king" with the titles. if theres anything I can do to help from this half of the US let me know… im (obviously) a sucker for a charity.

    oh and while the offer is tempting to join your "stable" Im not a side piece. If you want a date I dont refuse those, especially from black women….. but Im hardly a "bottom bitch"

    size 8? Miss ER is a size 8….. but shes 6'1! My lil pigmentally challenged princess works out and is better with what she ats than even I am. I applaud her because she works such a high stress job and still keeps her shape. should be something every woman should strive to do.

  24. oh and confused… I have issues. you will get no debate from me about it.

    I overheard my therapist talkin to my psychiatrist about how warped I am!!

  25. …there you go with ur ideals of what people should do again…lol.

    anyhow, when i say i have several hasanis i was referring to the "i will do any and everything to make you happy" Hasani…one can never have enough of those…gratefully my Hasanis come with a little money(albeit not a requirement). i would hate for you to think that i'm one of those chics who require men to be well off b/c i don't(i'd rather build the empire together), but those are the kind of men who flock to me sight unseen…so if they like then i love it!!

    oh and if miss er is a size 8 at 6'1…damn she's big(not fat but dayum)!!

  26. Hasani I just thought about something…have you read "Come On People" by Dr. Alvin Poussaint and Bill Cosby? I bought the book a few months back and was inspired to buy an additional 10 copies to pass out to young men and women…not to mention while reading it at work and discussing it with colleagues I inspired several others to buy the book and we hosted a forum here at the college for the students shortly thereafter…it only takes one person to get the fire going. I have 2 copies left, one is promised to someone else but if you haven't read it then I will gladly mail you the other copy. It's kinda like your soap box and with all the statistical data you can find…I think you would love it…I know I did.

  27. Changes i have noted in our community (assuming your black and middle class) have only happened in the past 6 years or so. If I was saying the same stuff back then which I was right now you would all be like… DUH… no shit we have to stay home and take care of our kids… DUH no shit we need to find mates and build homes…. duh no shit we have to love our men so they can love us…

    I met a girl out one night at a lounge …. thursday at midnight. she had 2 sons at home … but on a school night was out flirting wit me. I asked how …. but WHY would she leave her kids home unattended on a school night. she said she didnt have custody of her boys and they were with their daddy. she said this without blinkin an eye. its become more widespread these days single black fathers who have kids with their bottom bitch and dont want their son winding up with less than what they had (so they fight for custody) r formerly married or coupleld black men who are now raising a child because the mom decided she didnt like being married anymore. its a 180 of the 90's its so strange.

    I cant remember the last single mother I have met (while dating) and had her talk about how much she loved being a mother , an educator and a nurturer. but damn if I dont hear how fine they say they are or how they are going to do this and that to make moves and get more cheddah.

    so no, I think me lokin into things on a more current and up to date like dating scene for black men will be more my thang.

    Miss ER is so thin, you think a size 8 at 6'1 is big? I can put my arm around her waist and touch my own hip. it cant b more than 28inches. shes very sexy like slender. shes shorter than me and I outweigh her by a good 70lbs so thats all that matters!

    ok havent slept in 2 days goin to crash now… bye guys 🙂

  28. i wasn't going to say this b/c i really didn't want to believe it to be true, but you've left me no choice…*sighing* ur not stupid, or mean, or ignorant…ur just dumb…as in can't count to 20, ur stars don't shine so bright dumb. the book is about the present state of our community in contrast to how it used to be just 10 years ago. it talks about all the things you attempt to outline and with valid statistics.

    i'm the kind of person who tries to dumb it down for everyone, and even in the simplest of terms you still don't understand anything anyone is saying, u didn't even get Ms. D's point…u have ur own warped logic, even if it's completely contradictory to all human logic…lol. it's almost as if you go off on these sphiels to prove to everyone how enlightened you are while never addressing anything anyone actually says…it's like ur having an argument in ur mind with urself…oh well i digress.

    oh and to touch on the single father epidemic, some men want to shoulder the responsibility…just as women see their roles evolving, so do men. my daughter's dad insisted on keeping her for a year just to give me a break and to allow him to parent his child…and as ackward as it felt, quietly it was what I needed…mothers have to do it all and sometimes a break is needed. i don't think i could ever relinquish custody to him, but i have no objections to our daughter spending summers or a school year here and there with her father…it's as much his right as it is mine to see her growing up and to be a part of the process. and some women just aren't financially stable enough to afford to provide for their children, and the fathers are better suited…and then some others just shouldn't have kids until they get their life right. and where is the man's responsibility to stop [email protected] their bottom bitches raw…it's always the women's fault in ur eyes, but she didn't drug the man into an enduced coma, climb aboard his dick somehow managing an erection and the proceeding nut…come on now.

    you have to learn to fathom all possibilities of a situation before judging…but it doesn't seem as if ur mentally capable.

    and 6'1 for a female is big no matter the size, but at a size 8…yep that's ackwardly big for a woman.

  29. @ teacia….a little insecure aren't we. If the dude likes her that way so be it. From what I read she's way smaller than u and taller. So step on a treadmill big bertha.

    @ hasani….. are u on any meds? Damn boy

  30. Im a 30 year old black male… of COURSE im on meds.

    what ya want? plavix? cymbalta? renitadine?Creatine monohydrate? glutamine? Sompraz, Zoleri, Nexium, Lucen, Esopral; Axagon? I ot the hook up… holla if ya hear meh!!

    Umm miss er is pleanty thin, tall like a model and slim like oive oil, your perception of whats thin and big for a woman may be warped by the white mans subliminal messages and how he thinks people need to look!!! besides arent you umm "hefty" yourself ? mg u hater!

    gee how did I know you were a single unwed mother without even having to ask.

  31. so does that mean your not an unwed mother and that I am wrong… or is this you just trying to get the last word in for no reason other than you dont respect us?

  32. Man I haven't been here in a while, things are really blowing up. This video? It's a guideline for those who let the TV control them and some funny ass shit for SBM website peeps. Yeah this video is ignorant. Thanks for giving us the ignorant moments so we can remember to be real and ourselves. F*ck being anything else.

    SBM you're from DC, you get down on Panacea?

  33. @HNIC….if decide to mess things up with 'wassup doc' send her my way. i'll show her what a real man (off medications ) can do. what a waste.

    and for the rest of u losers…good luck. god u need it.

  34. Sometimes ya'll get going on here and it is way too confusing and complicated to try and understand what you are saying.

    @confused just b/c a man is on medications doesnt mean he isnt a real man.

  35. i'm not saying he's not a real man. she obviously sees something in him so I guess he's doing sumthing right. But just in case….

  36. Couple of rotten apples up in these parts. One is insecure as hell. I agree confused. The other stockpiles meds.

  37. ha ha…all the strangers come out and play when we stop fussing…me insecure…riiiiight, you must not know bout me…strangers…geesh. trust me if i'm ever feeling insecure all i have to do is leave to house, the public never lets me down…and how u gonna agree with a guy named confused…stop it now…the hating is so unbecoming.

  38. common internet tactic my dear Teacia.

    if you come onto a site and cant garner attention by saying anything relevant , innovative, or insightful/productive … you immediatly flame popular posters who you idealize for immediate perceived credibility. See now IM hating because on most sites im the onoe who gets flamed first…. but you got the attention before me… h8!! 🙁

    my brotha if you would like to try and date miss ER by all means go ahead and try its a free country. but I think … infact I know if your not stepin to the plate with being over 6'2, no kids then you cant even step to the plate in this ballgame. but dont worry a yutz like me will either mess it up or she will grow tired of me. but with the murder rate the way it is… right now she is just estatic to come home and have someone to talk to who is an absolute goof ball to chat with. mental note… do NOT snd a woman working in an ER flowers…I know.. I know.. I lack common sense sometimes.

    Teacia: your insecure. So am I, now that we have admitted it that dosent give them much more ammo to use now does it. Having admirers wont stop us from being insecure. Ive been on a ton of first dats this year.. which is a far harder task for a man than a woman I might add. It hasnt helped the hollow feeling I had on valntines day or xmas and lord knows how its gonna fl when I have to watch my baby brother get married next month. I would bet weddings make any of us older types feel weird. I have bals enouh to say it though

  39. i got the internet tactic thing down…remember my first day on here…lol

    ummmm, but i'm not insecure…i'm actually borderline arrogant sadly. i'm fat(according to you and you alone), happy, i have a beautiful daughter with an IQ that nearly reaches her mother's(it's a big deal trust me), i have great job with loads of freedom, i'm having the time of my life dating and insert a great man in t-2 months and i couldn't ask for anything more. u have outlined all the things about urself that u feel makes you a lesser man, things that i don't think should count, u are a great man Hasani(a little deflated right now b/c of the ex) and ain't shit wrong with u but ur mouth…i on the other hand don't look at life like that. i only choose to focus on my greatness and trust that it will always coming shining through in whatever i do.

    note: i said the public never lets me down…men are a given, but women love me as well…i'm that hotness mister…if u don't know u better ask somebody.

  40. see.. your reading the wrong script sister. Im not nor do i think I ever said I am "deflated" because of my ex.

    I guess in the normal script thats what usually happens…. my ex was a wonderful person who enriched my world more than any person on the planet ever should. shit.. LIFE itself was just more beautiful and more vibrant everyday that we spent together building our future and enjoying our present with eachother.

    Nothing in this world I am more proud of in my life and you will hear me say it a thousand and seven times. I was in love and had someone who loved me with equal fervor for an entire decade. et marinate for a sec just how long that is. not 10 years living far apart not ten years living in other counties and only seeing her on the weekends. but ten fll years of wanting and waiting to see her the next day.

    Think of how much has changed in ten years. Going n a date to see the movie titanic that everyone was takin about. going to sam goody to buy cassette singles because I wasnt rich enough to afford those compact disk thingys. Eating pizza and french fries covered in cheese, bacon and gravy on the 2nd date and thinking it was the best food in the world.

    All those changes to the world and one thing has always remained constant. Its an amazin and beautiful thing. I got to watch a farm gir with a bad perm,bangs, acne, party all the time attitude who thouht workin at the local deli was cool and dropping out of community college was a great idea. evolve into a corporate savy empowered and very well dressed I may add, compassionate example of what a woman in modern days SHOULD be.

    IM proud to have helped her make good decisions and I am proud we helped make eachothers lives complete for its duration and perhaps further.

    Im proud f the journey and would not have traded in my mate for any other woman in the world and consitered it a blessing that she felt the same.

    Building a loving relationship, building a strong network of friends , building a home and still being the two most insanely goofy and retarded people you could ever meet…. thats what life is about.

    I could care less about how much money I made, how many fights I have won, what degrees I have, how many bitches I dun banged, how my rims look, or even how I look…… ok perhaps not the last one.

    but I went on a rant lik that, just so you wouldnt get it twisted. I will let you guys take alot of things out of context…. hell its funny as hell when you do. but thats one thing I wouldnt let ride.

    so now that Im all misty eyes I think Im gonna do something more manly like eat a raw steak, read maxim, and go let my trainer whoop my ass. be back later gang

  41. woooow, i'm not even going to read a rant like this in full about some chic who left you…well at least she left you enriched…lol…yes, please go man up!

  42. @HNIC…….get over it. u'll be fine. kisses from me to the doc (just kidding). on that note, i'm out permanently. hope sbm comes back soon, y'all need some guidance

  43. I seem to have a habit of writing the truth and making people very VERY upset.

    someone sent me this along with a threat hehehe

    (cant use links so copy and paste for a good laugh)

    se7en-samurai.blogspot.com/2007/03/attack-of-rabid-eve-fanboi.html

    you may not understand what I am writin about…. but all you need to see is the response some of my readers have. truth seems to hurt.

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