Home Submission Black Bike Week Madness: SBM Answers

Black Bike Week Madness: SBM Answers


Another reader submitted email:

An acquaintance of mine has a dillema, and I wanted to know what you & the readers thought of this:

Her husband, went to Black Bike Week in South Carolina. Fast forward a few weeks later, and she gets a forwarded email with a link to a picture website. This website happens to have pictures of her husband at a party, and pics of him hanging out with random girls. He doesn’t have on his wedding ring in any of the pics, in some of the pictures he’s watching some really raunchy booty dancing (not participating though), and in another pic he’s hugged up with a pregnant girl and holding her belly. How do you respond to this? If this was your situation would you get upset? She has two kids and is determined to keep her family together, so he frequently gets a pass for doing stupid things. Her thought process is, that since the pictures don’t show him kissing or doing anything really raunchy with any girls, that she should just internalize it and drop it.

I don’t know what to tell her…I tend to run from this type of drama.

As a two time black bike week veteran, this one seems pretty cut & dry.

See Also:  Reasons to take of your ring

I wouldn’t take it to serious and your “friend” (funny how its always a friend) should bring it up to her husband, but I don’t think she should be too mad or upset about it. The only picture with him and another woman include a pregnant woman. The picture probably was subtitled with “Look at this mess … a pregnant girl at bike week” not “Damn … I want me some of that” (BTW … if you have the picture … I would love to see it). Also, with the “booty dancing”, he wasn’t participating. Similar to a stip club I would say, but he wasn’t paying and wasn’t touching. And lets be real … was he supposed to look away?

So in conclusion, I would tell her to ask about them in a joking manner and judge his response, but I have been down there with friends who have girlfriends. They both knew what was “too much” and acted accordingly. They were drunk and with their male friends in the crazy atmosphere of black bike week, but none came back with a story that they couldn’t tell their girlfriends (well … one kinda … but he literally ran once “too much” started happening).

Can I get a co-sign?


  1. I cant even take this seriously…. can we tosss this one out and make a real post?

    why do we continue to marry such shaky women? if your shaky over this id hate to see what happens when the kids have chicken pox.

  2. HNIC…calm down. Dude, if you're not married you can't really call someone shaky in a marriage. Let's pretend you have some common sense today…okay? lol

    My $0.08:

    Honestly, if it was my husband…I'd definitely ask about it. I'm highly sarcastic, so I would go as far as sending the pics to my hubby via email and say…hmmm, this guy doesn't appear to be a happily married man in this pic, what do you think? And see what his reply would be. The writer has already stated that he's gotten free passes on other dumb shit he's done as an effort to keep her marriage together. It's not about a woman being shaky…it's about a man RESPECTING his vows and wearing his ring!!!! Had the tables been reversed and he saw pics of her with NO RING…how do you think he would have felt or taken it? Bike week isn't angel week…lets remember that. Stop letting these dick-heads get away with shit they wouldn't allow us to get away with.

  3. Now don't get it twisted…I don't think she should be cutting up clothes and going off on anybody. But I think a nice mellow conversation about that weekend should take place.

  4. She did give him a pass before, didn't she?

    Why wouldn't he have expected another one for this?

    That's how I'm seeing it…

    But from the description of the pics, he wasn't getting it in with any other jawns.

    Kinda just being a background dude and enjoying the festivities.

    But he prolly came home, still in love with his wife and ready ton continue being a good father.

    I dunno… I'd say they should discuss it.

    He has to build more trust with her, and vice versa.

  5. not married but….. this is me we are talkin about. fuk married, Im quite sure my opinion is valid on this one little lady… fall back and have some respect.

  6. HNIC: In the famous words of Walona (on Good Times)…Negro Please!

    I don't think the wife should "trip out", but it definitely needs to be discussed. Let it had been his wife without a ring on out at some festival where it's notorius for bullshit to go down… I'm sure he would want to hear an explanation. Chances are…if she's given him a pass in the past… he thinks he can get another one.

  7. Hasani stop being so mean…fall back is a sure fire way to get things going around here. We're all taking a day off from uncivilized behavior.

    As far as the post goes, this is a non-issue. He went to Black Bike Week, what exactly did she think he was going to witness and be a part of…it's no big deal…this post seems to underline a lot of insecurities in the relationship. If you trust your husband then let it roll off your back, after all is your marriage really worth this issueless spat. If this negro has been suspect of other things then you may need to have conversation about his overall actions. But for the most part I say let it be, you may hear something you're not prepared to accept.

  8. @Hasani: Your not married, so don't go discrediting someone who actually has a ring on their finger. And just because you've been in a long relationship doesn't mean you should be out here calling marriages shaky. Have some respect.

    @Ms. Freckles: Yeah, i forgot about the no ring part. I guess thats kind of bad … but … I mean … he probably didn't want it getting dirty. Lol @ sending the email with the pics.

    @Ishanamin: Welcome. Some trust building would help out with this situation. I didn't really see why she was worried about bringing this up. As long as it was done without cursing or throwing anything, shouldn't be that bad.

  9. @SBM

    Yeah that no ring thing is the only part that got me raising an eyebrow. Was it truly necessary to take off his WEDDING ring????? Things that make me go…hmmmm.

    I'm too sarcastic for my own good sometimes in relationships, but I think the pics in a email thing would make his ass think the next time he's out without that damn ring on. Big brother is always watching!

  10. The ring thing is a huge deal…and I've known married men who take theirs off all the time…nothing good usually comes from that behavior.

  11. Do you want me to smack random ass with my wedding ring. Doesn't that befoul the essense of the ring. Isn't it out of respect that I leave it home!

    Suppose I'm caressing a stripper's breast! Should the platinum band that you bought me be exposed to all that? No!

    I rest my case.

  12. @Teacia – Nothing good at all comes from removing a wedding ring. I totally co-sign on that comment!

  13. And SBM has pointed exactly would cause a man to want to take it off…lol. So sad…"smack random ass with my wedding ring"…so sad.

    Where is the respect to wedding vows SBM. "I promise to have and hold and remove my wedding ring to smack random ass when out of town acting a fool, till death do us part." LOL…NIGGAS!!

  14. How is smacking random ass or caressing a stripper's breast in violation of the wedding vows? Its not like I'm cheating and eating random cooch, getting random head, or penetrating another vagina.

    Maybe its just me …

  15. @SBM – It's surely just YOU! lol.

    Would you mind if your wife took off her ring and felt up a man's penis? I mean…it's not like she sat on his dick and road it for dear life. What's the big deal?

  16. Hasani: Your not married, so don’t go discrediting someone who actually has a ring on their finger. And just because you’ve been in a long relationship doesn’t mean you should be out here calling marriages shaky. Have some respect.


    I can almost gaurantee without asking that I was in a committed relationship longer than anyone else is.. married or not, its about how long you are doing the job. and if nobody can talk if they arent married…. this is the incorrect forum since high majority of us are single. so why even bring this up since none of us can comment?

    sorry I know whats its like to think about someone other than myself day and day out, and have someone else who invest in you like a stock and not want to see their stock ruined. and im STILL sayin this is a beyond retarded thread.

    ok now for this negros moral set.

    Wedding ring never comes off. ever… never pass go never collecet 200dolla.

    I have absolutly zero problem feelin stripper ass, boobs or even havin stripper lipstick on me cheeks!

    if you wanna flirt.. dio so with your damn ring on FFS. nothing is wrong with flirting… something is seriously wrong moraly if your ever forsaking the fact that you have a lifemate. besides… if your REALLY gangster, the ring shouldnt matter how much the women would flirt back anyway. Just dont cross the line. Flirting when you have no fear, since you have something better in the bank anyway.. is fun, cheating is dumb and breaks your own moral code thus making you less of a man.

    Hell last conversation my ex and I had about "strippers" she was complaining to her friend that her man isnt normal and spends "our money" on women who arent even taking off clothes.(yes the club I used to go to the strippers dont strip… so shoot me)

    I guess once you actually live with someone and arent insecure about them leaving you care less about stupid 5th grader stuff like this. but she didnt care about it when we started dating either, so perhaps its just the insecure types.

    She wouldnt have this argument with Joe thug.

    So yeah i bet if we reversed the toopic the women would flip the other way. as we can see by the last 2 threads the women here dont value relationship and morality as a very high level… but fighting for no reason is a skill everyone seems to have in spades.

    So in short, yeah I agree with you SBM. but with my set of morals thrown on top of it.

  17. "So yeah i bet if we reversed the toopic the women would flip the other way. as we can see by the last 2 threads the women here dont value relationship and morality as a very high level… but fighting for no reason is a skill everyone seems to have in spades"

    Hasani you must be skimming the comments…our last 2 threads were being facetious at SBM's comment. We both believe that he shouldn't take off his ring for any reason and mocked his vows by adding that statement. We all seem to be on the same level on this topic…just with a little different input.

    ….and people in glass houses Hasani…*sigh* people in glass houses.

  18. @Hasani…I'm going to need for you to SHORTEN your damn comments. Ain't nobody got the patience, interest or time to be reading your novels. Geez!

  19. And Hasani…where in any of my threads did you see me say the married couple should "fight" over this situation??? I simply said she should mention it. Why allow something that bothers you to sit on your chest and you deal with it solo? Makes utterly no sense what so fucking ever! So yes…as his WIFE…she should mention it and discuss it calmly. I didn't say not one thing about her going off and fighting the man over this.

    Reading is fundamental!

  20. You trying to say I was joking about fouling up the ring while caressing a stripper's breast? Oh no … ring needs to come off.

    Honestly, my dad never took his off that I knew of and I doubt I will ever see a real reason to take off mine … BUT … its bike week!!!!!!

    And how did they confirm the ring was off? How many megapixels was the camera? Did he have on biker gloves? This matters people!

  21. Good day kind people…

    I would ask him about the pics like you said as though its no big deal. One thing that i dont like is that he took off his wedding ring which to indicates he was trying to portray himself as being single and he isn't. If he is always getting aways with stupid shit, because his wife wants to keep the family together…then really nothing is going to come out of the conversation. He will probably explain, she may or may not get upset, but she still isn't going anywhere. So what's the point of asking I guess. She isn't going to get the answer she wants I don't think.

    Side Note: Men shouldn't take off there wedding rings. It's not fair game. You should inform a person you are married and let them decide if they still want to deal with you.

  22. @Ms. Freckles…I’d definitely ask about it. I’m highly sarcastic, so I would go as far as sending the pics to my hubby via email and say…hmmm, this guy doesn’t appear to be a happily married man in this pic, what do you think?

    You are like me I am sarcastic sometimes to a point where I might become an asshole…but that is funny cause it would catch him so off guard.

  23. @ Ms. Deveraux… yeah, my dude is hella sarcastic too. So you can imagine how interesting our arguments are! LOL.

    The best way to politely confront your spouse or mate is to catch them off guard with something that isn't blatantly disrespectful…but more informative. Almost like if she took my advice and sent him the pics via email; it would also be her nice way of saying…whats done in the dark always comes to the light. Ya know?

  24. @Ms. Freckles: whats done in the dark always comes to the light. Ya know? Oh yes, trust me I know first hand…lol My ex was alot like me so I understand what you mean about the interesting arguments.

  25. @Ms. D: I do remember that post about the married guy. See … you're biased though. I think you can take off the ring every once in awhile … like that Martin episode.

    @Ms. Freckles: Doesn't the ring itch and start to burn once you get near crazy half naked women … ?

  26. @SBM – – – shaking my head at you! lmao. You're a mess! You better get some cortizon and rub that sucker on your finger to kill the itch! lol

  27. @ SBM: I am a little biased. But honestly if I was married I wouldn't want my mate to take off his ring. What is the real reason you are taking off your ring. Why would you want to mislead a person? To me it says something about how you feel in your marriage.

    I personally know people who would never take off their ring. Because I ask this question alot to married people I know. Your ring is given to you as a symbol of love and commitment. When you remove it what are you saying?

    I hold marriage in high regard. So there are things I think that shouldn't happen. Removing the ring is one of them.

    You get my drift?

  28. if you dont like to read…. go watch TV. but dont come crying when other races talk about how they dont want to give us jobs because we dont seem intelligent , and are too hard headed to want to listen to anyone elses opinion except for their own…… OHHHH I see… you didnt realize you were perpetuating the black stereotype that keeps holding us back?

    and why do we keep talkin about men? Which gender do you think is more devious and cunning? I am going to take pictures of all the cougars up here who go for their girls night out and are in the parking deck sliping their rings off and putting on their lip dark red lipstick.

    wanna know why theres no slick hip term for the older men who chase younger women? cuz the older men are like me and home playing Xbox and watching TV on the couch with their boxers and housecoat on… because its more simple to do that than to chase women you dont already have…. DUH!

    Hell I have a picture on my myspace page, of two cougars hugging me, theres no rings in the pics and I had no clue either of them were attached. Nobody bought up spouses until I opened my mouth and they found out I was a corny scrub 😀

    perhaps its a north east thang…. but men fear women more than women fear men now adays and women make more.. women are leaving relationships quicker… and you guys are stilll on that 1990's ""men do all the cheating ish?""

    how about you women keep yo asses in the house insted of trying to parade it all over the country in search of Q-dogs on their crotch rockets? how about we all stay home and take care of our kids insted of wasting gas $ on non family trips? how about we stop trying to pick fights with our mates over stupid issues when we have important shit like a recession and collapsing housing market looming?

    how bout nobody cheat…. why? because cheating by definition is against the rules

  29. I haven't read any of the comments yet but I'm sure when Mr. asked the Mrs. to sign the permission slip to go to Myrtle for Bike Week, she should have know she was sending the hubby to be around some questionable cooch. Unless her man is trying to make a date to the local clinic, because he think he got trick from some trick then I say let it go.

  30. @Hasani: THis has got to stop or calm down man. I feel Ms. Freckles, your comments are too long.

    I remember you saying you liked it when I put the comment limits on because it forced you to think and review your thoughts first before posting. Some of your comments are long than my posts. I think its a fair request and would help you hit home a lot more.

    @Ms. D: I mean … I can't take it off for just a little. Just a little …

    @Ms. F: How can I get the cream on without taking the rign off? HA!

  31. LMAO…finally, some wholesome amusement! LMBAO @SBM's comments, could you please list for me the instances and events for which you believe it is acceptable to remove ones wedding ring? I'm just interested.

    I, like Teacia, am a let the guy's have fun, believer but…I gotta say, the removal of the wedding ring is what increases the shady quotient.

    I'm also LMAO at the comment about sending him the email saying this guy doesn't look like a happily married man, does he!!! THAT IS PURE GENIUS, and as a self-proclaimed one something I would totally do, lol.

  32. SBM under no circumstances should the ring be taken off…lol…period. Unless ur fixing the darn garbage disposal(trying not to curse here folks…bare with me).

  33. @Breelicious: I think you just gave me inspiration for tomorrow's post.

    Here is a preview:

    Having stripper suck your finger (she might try and steal it).

    Walking through certain hoods late at night (n*ggas rob).

    Winning a bet with your boys that you still "got it" (reference to Martin the show).

    and there are plenty more where that came from!

  34. um…1. why are you letting strippers suck your finger? if you don't know where there mouths have been don't let them put their mouths on you. Furthermore, I cringe at the idea that you're letting some random woman suck your finger and then coming home to put that very same finger on or in your wife…yuck! 2. what are you doing walking in the hood at night, don't you own a car? and I promise, you'll be in less trouble if your ring is stolen that you would be if you were caught without your ring on your finger voluntarily and 3. um, if you have to prove you still got it, you don't deserve the ring, lmao. You know a better way to prove you still got it? Have your wife adhering to the the "3 needs" mentioned a few blogs ago! LMBO

  35. p.s. can you also readily provide examples in which it is ok for your future wife to remove her ring? Or do these same scenarios apply regardless of gender?

  36. @SBM: I am not taking you serious. You wouldn't really use those excuses in your 'REAL' marriage would you? That would be 'horseshit' at its finest…you are joking I assume.

    If not, you might want to add that in your prenup…"reason I might not wear my ring". But it has nothing to do with the way I feel towards my marrige clause. Let me know what your wife says…lol

  37. @Breelicious: I am no hypocrite. If she needs to get her finger sucked … all I ask is that she washes it before touching me with it. And it has to be a stripper or someone who is paid to just entertain, not your ex or that n*gga at work who keeps asking you for help.

    And as much as I will probably pay for that stupid little rock in its stupid metal, she better make sure she doesn't get robbed. Thats gonna be the second question after "Are you OK?" … "Did he get the ring?"

    If she needs to prove something to her girls … go ahead. She'll be a dime in my eyes either way … but if it makes her feel better … so be it.

    @Ms. F: I forgot to address your penis comment. That is NOT the same as a breast or ass. If I stuck my finger in a stripper's p*ssy (which I think is trifling BTW), then yes you can get mad at me (anus too). But who cares about a breast. Its just a titty.

  38. Ms. D: If you don't trust me to get my finger sucked and rinse if off before I use it to bring you to heights of extasy or even just give you a back massage … we got bigger issues then "where is your ring"!

  39. This letter writer answers her own question. She's already letting his ass ride for doing stupid shit. So why the fuck is she heated and bothered now? Is it because the stupid shit she's been letting ride is in the public domain? Man, go sit down somewhere with that bullshit.

    I don't buy it. There are MANY ways a husband can go to black bike weekend, have a good time and not show his ass like old boy did AND keep the wedding ring on. Don't get mad now. You've been letting his ass get away with murder all this time.

    Holding your family together shouldn't involve checking a man behind dubious behavior. Why?? Because a man with standards wouldn't have gotten down like that in the first place AND let that behavior captured for posterity.

    Carry on.

  40. Finally someone else on here who curses more than I do and for no reason at all as well….oh wait she's always cursed, just not at anyone….but oh wait she did.

    Either way I am in TOTAL agreeance with Tiffany curse words and all…*sidenote* Tiff you gotta come back regularly so I can co-sign w/o actually doing the cursing…the withdrawal is already getting to me.

  41. nope… you cant take the ring off… I paid too much money for it. you have a diamoond and a fancy elaborate band,,,,,, I just have a simple ring. I think we are allowed to take it off! Im havin problems playing Xbox with it on.

    Also… as black men we need every advantage we can get to get ahead in the corportste world…. so if I have to make someone think I am single just so they can be "nicer" to me and perhaps help me get some head… I mean get Ahead.. then thats better for the both of us!

  42. The only thing that needs discussing is the fact that he wasn't wearing a ring. And the fact that she would even think to get upset about the pictures. If you send your husband to something like Black Bike Week and tell him to go have fun with his friends do you not think that is going to include seeing some half-dressed girls shaking their booties? and really what is so wrong with that?

    Like i said the only thing that concerns me is the lack of a wedding ring but that could simply be because he didnt want to lose it.

  43. I'm soooo late addressing HNIC!

    @HNIC aka Hasani aka Utter Idiot: In regards to my reading, this is a fucking BLOG! I'm at work while entertaining these blog sites therefore don't really have an hour to dedicate to reading your utter bullshit commentary on these blogs. Got it?

    Next off, you mentioned your wife couldn't pull her ring off because she has a diamond and fancy band…well my fellow negro…it's not our fault that your wife was too cheap to get you a nicer band than the standard gold shit. Get a grip.

    @SBM: LMAO, dude you are pure comedy! You shouldn't pull your ring off at all…ever. I'm certain after you're married, your ring will remain where it's supposed too…ON YOUR FINGER! lol

  44. man folks trip me out with this stripper thing. women go to the male strip clubs and some of the stuff that goes on up in there is worse than what happens in the female strip clubs–depending on where you go that is.

  45. @Teacia… Girl, casual ignorance is one of my pet peeves. Hasani needs a reality check because that poor man is so mis-guided!

  46. nigga what is you doin? take our side!!

    Ms. Freckels. Im not going to get in a flame war with you. I know as a poster with limited skills and even lower reputation the first thing a fanboi like yourself wants to do to feel special and get attention is to get on a board and go after the best posters. we already spoke about this 2 weeks ago when someone else did the same thing. I expect more arguments to pop off with new posters and Comeback and miss D and myself…. its just like that.

    But to address one point of intrest to myself..


    ignorance is one of my pet peeves


    In regards to my reading…. I don’t really have an hour to dedicate to reading"

    Ignorance noun 2. (Theol.) A willful neglect or refusal to acquire knowledge which one may acquire and it is her duty to have. –Book of Common Prayer.

    you "dont have time to read", but want to comment …. by definition YOUR IGNORANT by your own admission (see quotes)

    Now im not calling you ignorant….. the stats are.

    and we all know what the motto is about stats:

    if you dont like being part of a statistic get off your fat ass and do something to change it – HNIC '08

  47. cut it out Hasani…that mess you talking isn't, "knowledge which one may acquire and it is her duty to have." so dismissing your casual ignorance isn't a display of ignorance, it's actually a display of intelligence.

    and she said casual ignorance is one of her pet peeves…and i have to agree that you choose ignorance at times, it doesn't choose you.

    uummmmmmm, and Freckles posts on every topic…she's just able to get out most of her thoughts in 2 short and brief comments or less…you on the other hand…well you know my motto:

    ….back on your soapbox you go- Teacia 08'

  48. @HNIC… "if you dont like being part of a statistic get off your fat ass and do something to change it – HNIC ‘08"

    MOFO are you serious!?!? LMAO. I weigh a whopping 125 lbs…so if I'm "fat" … I'd hate to see skinny!!! I'm not going to entertain your mouse sized brain today as my day is going great and I refuse to allow the likings of you bug me. You're like a fungus (Onychomycosis) that just won't go away! Someone pass me some Lamisil to kill it please!

    Enjoy your day!

  49. @Hasani: Here are some useful definitions for you dear…

    idiot (Noun)

    (pejorative) A common term for a person of low general intelligence. *usage note* This may be used pejoratively, as an insult.

    (obsolete) A medical or psychological term meaning a person who lacks the capacity to develop beyond the mental age of a normal four-year-old.

    So let me make it simple for you Hasani…

    Hasani + Idiot = Mentality of a Four Year Old.

  50. lol @ Ms. Freckles…no offense Hasani, but just to help Ms. Freckles out, this would actually be the reflexive property, also known as the transitive axiom which states that if a = b, and b = c, then a = c, so, it would read more like:

    Hasani = Idiot

    Idiot = Mentality of a Four Year Old

    Hasani = Mentality of a Four Year Old


    Disclaimer: Hasani…I'm new to the forum and as such have not developed enough supportive evidence to declare you an idiot. (hee-hee-hee)

  51. *hi-five* to my homie Bree…lol…one time for the transitive axiom. I think Anti just may fall for you after that statment.

    ….and stick around, my dear friend Sani which continue to let the ignorance shine.

    @Champ: "My two cents: intentionally stupid people deserve shady mates."

    Word.Life. (lol)

  52. *ahem*….well you know we does what we do.

    Glad we could help lighten up the day…and eventually we will get off of our lazy butts and actually start our own blog. We will expect all of you to come through and spread the love…she will obviously be the peacekeeper…me being a bit of a firestarter and all.

  53. I would also like to point out that I have gone a complete 24 hours w/o saying damn, hell, fuck, shit, ass and bitch!!

    YAAAAAAAY to me…oh wait, damn.

  54. What is this … jump on Hasani day?

    Sure he asks for it a little, but I wouldn't call the man an idiot or anything.

    While Hasani has some stupid points and suffers in his delivery, at the core of it he has some real things to say.

    And if you didn't notice, he was agreeing with the whole "The ring never comes off" BS until he started getting gang raped.

    SBM to the rescue!

  55. oh…. black women insulting a single black male just because they feel like it… hmmm ya ive never seen that happen before… oh wait…..

    man you guys can realy never be wrong even when you admit to being so in a post 4 spaces back. the inability to reason and the unwillingness to view anyone thats not you as an equal is part of "OUR" problem as a culture.

    case in point. I had no idea Teacia was the same type of woman I describe Im attracted to everyday. she knows what I look like and what my moral set are…. but insted of being sweet… EVERY GAWD DAMN DAY she picks a fight with me or disrespects me in some way shape or form. shit like that is quite comical seeing as how we are all single. fuck it even if I wasnt single.. why are you (as in the black middle class woman) trying to fight with me?

    why must you work against me when I am walking down the street and happy with my white mate? cant you be happy that Im happy?

    Why must you work against me in corporate america? shouldnt the fact that we are both outsiders make us band together and actually do more for eachother than we would anyone else? we did it in the 80's and 90's

    why must the root of all black comedies be a weak black male as the punchline? All these romance novels and movies come out year after year over the past decade and you guys keep making us the punchline of all your jokes and the root of all evils. Im not evil, I actually love ALL of you… at times too much.

    This blog is a microcosm of our community. The men are depicted as ignorant, stupid and moronic nomatter how much fact we have backing us up or valid points we make…. AND THIS IS OUR FUCKING BLOG NOT YOURS!

    the black male states he is having fun and all of the sudden he is a careless manslut. the women boast of similar endeavors and are called free spirits and empowered?

    Im not a very smart man… I dont have the pedigree of comeback or the rationale of ms D, but Im not ignorant and take the time to read what you guys are saying and I also think before I type. I dont have to have my PHD from princeton to know you guys treat us as bad here as you do in real life.

    Key word… BAD

    do we need to dictionary that one or do we all know its meaning?

    did your grandmothers teach you to be this way? cuz I know she wasnt bad to your grandpa…

    did you perhaps learn this behavior and view towards your black man by watching mom? cuz I highly dobut she interacted this way.

    3 questions in 2 parts for you women..

    how did you get this way and where did you see it?

    what is it about the men who genetically look like you that you hate so much?

  56. @Tiffany: You know I was crying that you weren't around. Where have you been? You missed all the drama, the fights, the anger.

  57. SBM, they dont care…. thats the point.

    Im told by women on here who have never been in a relationship longer than 3 years that I "dont know what Im talking about" when it comes to commitment, running a household and dealing with another person… and I have a 10 year relationship under my belt. In my eyes… as a man who knows commitment your basically a slut if you cant settle down for longer than that.

    Im told I dont know what its like to "date" by people who havent been on a date since the winter. yes I have put myself out there 43 times now… more than half of them with black women mind you….. in the past TEN months. Ive been on more first dates in just this spring than they have in the last 5 years…. but somehow just because Im a black man with a voice I dont know what im talkin about.

    its just really frustrating to actually care about whats wrong with our black men and women and why we arent getting together… but EVERY FUCKING HOUR or the day I am seeing more and more its almost a useless fight. I guess the new standard for being black is self pleasure by any means plausible.

    screw my editorial and screw trying to help these people.

  58. SBM you see what you done gone and started….thanks for encouraging his ass to climb back up on his soapbox.

    And Being accosted for your longwindedness isn't an excuse to flip flop on said initial response. Oh and you know must be feeling better if you're defending Hasani…lol.

    And Hasani, my dear sweet Nubian King…I'm here to tell you that if you actually READ alot of the things I write, I am usually in agreeance with you. I even say, "I have to agree with Hasani on this one." But you are so hell bent on grouping all of us chics here(except Ms. D) together that you don't even realize when someone is agreeing with you and taking heed to your message. I was not here when everyone was calling you too nice…I happened upon this beautiful blogsite when you set "Hasani the Asshole" free. Granted Freckles is going a little hard on you, but I'm starting to believe that you enjoy the combat of a strong black women.

    The message you so eloquently preach you yourself don't take heed to. Hasani I love you like a brother from a different mother but you have to learn to calm down. You're at a 10…and we need you at a 4…you think you can do that…for me…PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSE! (shout out to Mystery)

    "the black male states he is having fun and all of the sudden he is a careless manslut. the women boast of similar endeavors and are called free spirits and empowered?"

    ummmm, I was called a whore…I don't recall free-sprited and empowered being used once…lol.

  59. Bree we were…but we have to remember that Hasani is special(sensitive). My apologies Hasani…*hugs and kisses all around*

  60. Oh wait, that reminiscent moment is in direct contradiction of aforementioned apology…my bad…I'm trying Sani.

  61. *HuGs* Hasani…Ms. Freckles is apologitic to you for hurting your boy-feelings. I'll play nice in the sandbox now…*throws sand in Hasani's eyes*….LMAO (j/k)

  62. @Hasani — "Im told by women on here who have never been in a relationship longer than 3 years that I “dont know what Im talking about” when it comes to commitment, running a household and dealing with another person… and I have a 10 year relationship under my belt. In my eyes… as a man who knows commitment your basically a slut if you cant settle down for longer than that."

    ROTFLMAO…dude, ten years and you aren't married? Really? Now why isn't that so hard to believe!

    And amazingly enough, I've been in a relationship for over 3 years and I've had some fall short of a year. So am I a "slut" as you say? LOL, your logic is fucking amusing to me. You are a joke. I can't even pretend to be nice to you over the bullshit you allow your long-winded ass to type. *Let me say a prayer* Okay…I'm over it. On with my gorgeous day!

  63. Okay, I'm inspired to blog by the foolery of today's random disagreement. Stay tuned (may be tomorrow's blog when I have more time)…..


    Come shout out at me when you're bored. I deleted all my older post as an attempt to start fresh and be more verbally open with the world. Definitely not a blog for the "sensitive" or "easily offended".

  64. "case in point. I had no idea Teacia was the same type of woman I describe Im attracted to everyday. she knows what I look like and what my moral set are…. but insted of being sweet… EVERY GAWD DAMN DAY she picks a fight with me or disrespects me in some way shape or form. shit like that is quite comical seeing as how we are all single. fuck it even if I wasnt single.. why are you (as in the black middle class woman) trying to fight with me?"

    …cause you make it so easy baby(in my new orleans southern draw).

  65. @Ms. Freckles & Teacia: If Hasani really had a crush on Teacia, there would be a flurry of Myspace messages, emails, and public outcrys about why she doesn't love him on this site.

    @Hasani: Come on brother, take it easy. I must say some of the "disrespect" you receive is self inflicted. You refuse our constant requests for shorter comments, spell & grammar checking, and other simple things. Also, you love to agree more than any one else on here and while your not on the same level of others, you still are very big on hiding little insults in your comments.

    Lastly, I'm sorry, but you really just don't know how to deal with black women. I came to this conclusion while reading a comment of yours on my phone. You dated a white woman for 10 years and just don't have the patience to deal with black women (honestly, their gonna kill me just for saying this). But you just can't approach, talk, argue, propose sex like you do with a white woman. Its just all … well … slightly more complicated.

  66. SBM you are right about that…Hasani thankfully shows no interest in me…instead he enjoys our daily squabbles(i love you too Sani) as just that.

    And I think he's just so hellbent on getting his message across that he isn't mindful of his delivery. He has a lot of valid points, points that I also stand by and agree with, but he's just so damn hostile in his approach that no one listens to him…and after a while we all are just annoyed by him and them. Sani we're listening but disengage yourself from your message and try to have a normal conversation…say about the TOPIC perhaps. But in all fairness, some of the shit he says is just plain ignant!…not to be confused with ignorant of course…ignant shows effort while ignorant…well he defined that for us above.

    Hasani we need you at a 4…that's all, just bring the decibel down to a 4.

  67. "You dated a white woman for 10 years and just don’t have the patience to deal with black women (honestly, their gonna kill me just for saying this). But you just can’t approach, talk, argue, propose sex like you do with a white woman. Its just all … well … slightly more complicated."

    …you hit the nail on the head SBM.

  68. You know what. If the man is going to cheat trust me he doesnt have to go to a biking event to do it. If she already suspected him of cheating then maybe so… but if he's never caused her any trouble before then I"m sure he was just having fun. And another thing ….some women are drawn to wedding rings so maybe it was a good thing he didnt have it on. Hell it coulda been worst he could have been dressed up as a woman. Damn give the man a break he is human!

  69. @go bytch…you're right, no man has to go to a biking event to cheat..but you missed a fundamental point in your response, he actually HAS caused her trouble before, which is some people's cause for concern. According to the original post she lets him slide regularly for stupid stuff. You are also correct about women being drawn to wedding rings, but I've not met a man yet who removes his wedding ring as female deterrant…real life examples follow

    example, ran into a guy friend from highschool, he was lookin good, visibly single, employed and flirting with me, he asked for my number, i gave it. He called a few times and promised to kick it next time I was in town. A few months later, I found out I had a half-sister and was looking at pictures of her family…low and behold she's married to the guy friend from highschool who didn't have on a ring…and they've been married for five years!

    another example, met a guy who came to FAMU to interview, he and I had a great conversation, he sent me some emails, we did some virtual flirting, he asked me to kick it with him the next time I get to Atlanta, I said sure. I came to Atlanta and invited him to the ballet with me…he politely said to me "I'd love to go, but before I accept I want to know if you're ok with going out with a married man"…yeah, I'm not ok with it….not in the least bit.

    …as Teacia said, not much good comes from a man removing his ring, LOL

  70. "example, ran into a guy friend from highschool, he was lookin good, visibly single, employed and flirting with me, he asked for my number, i gave it."

    …all i took from this statement was "employed"…one time for that being a criteria. Hasani, my dear sweet Nubian King there's hope for you yet.

  71. Hasani we gotta get your flirt game right though…cause if you keep yelling at women the way you yell at us, then you'll never get anywhere…however, you do have the visibly single thing down. *hugs*

  72. hmmm, i didnt read all of the comments but…..he watching booty dancing, not wearing wedding ring and holding a belly…wow. she should be able to talk to him about this. looks like he was just tryna have some fun.

    **disclaimer** no i have not booty danced, or let a man put his hand on my belly or removed wedding rings

  73. @SBM: I'm sorry I missed ALL the fun but I'm back now. Yesterday was my birthday so I was being ME focused!!!!!!!

  74. okay Tecia.. I see. I didnt know the stupid stuff had anything to do with what recently occured. Humph…I guess my mind was somewhere else. When "stupid stuff" was thrown in I was thinking he was one of those "oops" people. Always doing something stupid and expecting people to get over it because they are stupid. Okay Sorry 🙂 Have a good weekend Hun!

  75. I will say that since I was once in a bike club and have inside knowledge of bike week as a woman, as well as seen all the videos and footage that goes on there courtesy of my boyfriends collection…..she needs to discuss this with her husband in detail. More than likely she only saw a small fraction of what her husband was doing from Thursday to Monday. And if a woman was pregnant and all up in the mix of things….she must have really wanted to go bad…and since this woman's husband was hanging on the pregnant girl and not the pregnant girls "baby daddy", …as the brothers like to say…pregnant puss is some of the best puss….so go figure. Once the alcohol, X, and dro starts to flo…..I don't call it Black Bike Week anymore…it's always Phk..Fest…(Insert the year).

  76. total over reaction. It's probably bad because the pictures came from somewhere else, but she is still over reacting. Now I have seen worse, way worse LOL. Never from a married couple but people in relationship. I.e. his girl/Baby mother being all over the internet "The finer a woman is at Black Bike Week, the more likely she is to end up online on someones website "like mine LOL".


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