I once found myself at the house warming party for a friend of a friend. It was a girl who I went to school with, but didn’t really know at school.
As the night progressed … liquor was flowing and good times were being had. We played some game “Mafia”, talked about randomness, and just all chilled. There were some ok looking girls there … but nothing worth writing about.
So … one of my line brothers shows up after I tell him there are more women than men. He is currently in law school and decided to bring one of his friends from law school. After a few minutes … a conversation breaks out.
LB’s Friend: “I just bought a 42″ LCD for my house. Its great … women love 42 inches”
SBM: “Why do you need a 42″ tv for women. Your in law school … women love lawyers”
LB (Line Brother): “I don’t know … I think the big tv would impress them more”
SBM: “What kind of bucket heads you talking to? With the high amount of golddiggery afoot … lawyers are gonna do well”
Friend: “Well … we’re not lawyers yet … just in law school”
SBM: “Hmmmm … interesting. So does the immediate showing of wealth prove to be more interesting than the potential of 6 figures? Present Value vs. Future Value”
LB: “I don’t think women are going to go for future value. TV wins”
SBM: “Lets go straight to the source. Excuse me” I say as I tug on the hostesses arm. “I got a question for you. What’s more attractive: A 42 inch TV or someone in law school”
Hostess: *turns neck as she talks* “Thats a stupid question. Who would decide a man on either”
SBM: “Indulge me. I’m drunk, your drunk (she was), their almost drunk and we need a female opinion”
Hostess: “Its a stupid question though. Who cares what he has if his ‘dick game’ is right”
SBM: *lets out heavy sigh* “He has to work his way up to sex in the first place … right? It is a stupid question. Can you just give me a stupid answer?”
Hostess: “But why should I? What does it matter?”
This back and forth continues for like 15 minutes and concludes with her polling the rest of the women there asking “Is this a stupid question or what?”.
This characterizes one significant flaw with the general female populous … you can’t argue over stupid sh*t. Well … I take that back … ya’ll will argue over stupid sh*t until your blue in the face if you think its important … but when I ask you if Superman can beat Batman, I’ve offended your intellect. Yet, strap vs. no strap on some Versace sandals is worthy of 30 minutes of internal struggle, a call to your sister, 3 picture messages to your girlfriend, and 15 minutes of meditation while drinking green tea.
Is anyone else tired of this? Does anyone else wish they could argue about stupid hypothetical situations with your woman? Anyone else interested in a deep philosophical debate about how the smurfs had a village with only one female smurf? Was she a hoe or were they all gay?