Home About Me F*ck R&B!

F*ck R&B!


“Man you hear that new Raheem Duvan joint”
“You catch that new Ne-yo song … its hot”
“I know you heard that new Chris Brown one about being in love to the point you cry.  Joint had me crying last night and everything.  Its fire!”
“Naw man … I don’t listen to that soft sh*t.  Looking at you crying over a damn song”
“I’m just sayin …”

I know everyone loves Rythm & Blues (R&B).  I know it touches the soul.  I know hours could be spent discussing the best songs of the past year, decade, or century.  I know it plays constantly on every major urban radio station.  I know all of these things … and still … I say to eveybody

F*ck R&B!

I just can’t get with it.  I’m sick of hearing songs about the same sad and sorry stuff.  I’m tired of hearing some guy cry about the girl he lost or is losing.  I’m tired of someone who is being cheated on and just can’t take it anymore telling the whole world about their heartbreak instead of addressing it.  I’m tired of choreographed dance moves, hearts in waterfalls, shirtless negros gliding across stages, and all the softness and shrink wrapped “emotions” being sold.

I’m barely old enough to remember … but I remember R&B being called “soul music” at one time.  I remember how this genre had a soul once … and sadly its gone.  Therefore I don’t support it as a genre … and will continue to be willfully ignorant of new R&B artists and songs.

There are a few “contemporary” artists I have generally been able to listen to … here are some of them.

Lauryn Hill (maybe because she is a rapper too)
Alicia Keyes (So fine)
Musiq Soulchild
(Don’t know … but I connect with “Teach Me”)
Anthony Hamilton (idk …)
D’ Angelo (I remember listening to him when he first came out)
Jodeci (I mean … they were nasty as hell)
Jill Scott (I like em thick)
Erykay Badu (I feel her hip-hop influence)
John Legend (“Baby when I used to love you” … finally something real and not soft)

And that’s all I can really think of.  Classics like Marvin Gaye or Al Green are too good to be listed with anyone this contemporary … so they go without mentioning (although I don’t listen to them on the regular).

Another problem I have with R&B is the fits of bitchassness it seems to invoke.  Some guys just turn into these pathetic messes that are so dependent on women.  I just can’t support this.

Now … I will say R&B has taught me some things.  In particular, Musiq Soulchild’s views on love (in some cases) click well with mine and I just feel him in some of his stuff.  Listening to Teach Me (Chopped & Screwed of course) has helped me through some troubling times and has allowed me to soften my tough exterior at times.  Generally, neosoul is the only place I really see any hope.

And for the record, if anyone claims its because of my young age or that I will “grow into it” … I’m gonna choke you!  I actually liked it a lot more when I was younger.

And to this end … I will be listening to R&B for the rest of this week.  I want to see how it affects my overall mood and disposition to the fairer sex, and if I can actually make it without throwing up in my mouth a little bit.  Thats why I asked for solicitations a few posts again.

May God have mercy on my soul and poor ears …



  1. good morning all..

    so sbm tell me honey how do u make love to "sitting on 44's?" or do you just fuck? sometimes there are certain songs that when you hear them u say to urself, i would love to do it to that song!!!

    like for instance;

    say it -neyo

    chills – fatty koo

    o- omarion

    naked- marques houston

    storm-jamie foxx

    just to name a few..

  2. Ive never had sex to music… none of the people I have had relations with this year have put on any type of music. White people dont have "sex music" and neither do Desi women. 9 times out of 10 if you have Booty music on , I would think it would get in the way.

    "oh dis nigga think he gonna get sum?"

  3. You can listen to the same repetitive rap nonsense abut money, cars and hoes but you can't listen to R&B? *shrug* Youngins…Try anything by Eric Roberson, maybe some Noel Gourdin (hs album drops today), Robin Thicke, Ledisi and Conya Doss. These artists might change your mind about R&B and they might now. Either way they have some good isht out and most folks are sleepin on them. (except Robin Thicke, everyone seems to be on dudes jock now.)

  4. SBM, how can you not like r & b? 🙂 Grant it, some of the stuff out just like in rap or any other genre leaves a lot to be desired, but there is plenty of good music in the R & B genre.

    I'm a music lover with R & B being on the top of the list. R & B can be broken down into old school, neo-soul, contemporary, etc…but it's all R & B.

    You need to check out Lyfe Jennings, Ayo, Algebra and BigBrwnEyez already said Ledisi, and so many more.

  5. Correction: about Money* , his album* & might not*…Too early for blog commenting AND correct spelling.

  6. Naw baby, you can ufck to rap, not make love. As someone who used to get down to Pac in my younger days, there is no making love to thug music. Trust, I got YEARS of experience.

  7. You had me up to Jodeci on your list.

    I was never into R&B…the other day my younger sister asked if I wanted to go with her to a Keith Sweat concert, I looked at her as if she lost her mind.

    I'm also wondering, why is it, minus has been Montel Jordan and Brian Mcknight, most R&B male singers are about 4'11???

  8. OMG, I love love love Eric Roberson's The Vault Vol 1.5, that's that shit. It sounds to me like you feel about R&B the same way most folks feel about rap…you love the stuff that isn't so mainstream and poppish (i.e. Chris Brown, etc.) you like the stuff that sticks to the roots of where R&B came from. That said, I don't think you dislike R&B b/c you named some heavy hitters that are quite talented in the way of R&B. That's like me saying I hate rap but love love love Common, Andre 3000, Biggie, Q-tip, Talib Kweli, Rakim, etc. You're just a purist and there's nothing wrong with that. You like music with substance not just the hottest thing out.

    Get up on Eric Roberson, Algebra, Ledisi, Chrisette Michele and the new chic that John Legend is pushing I think her name is Estelle. There's also a young chic out reminiscent of Alicia Keyes, I'll go find her name and come back to post it. You'll find you like R&B a lot more than you seem to think.

  9. Nobody likes Razor and Guido? SMashing pumpkins? RA?? Lorena Mckennit?? why do I feel so alone in this thread 🙁

    If I was 5ft2 COUGHsisquoCOUGH I would sing R&B too. if they were 6'1 225 they wouldnt have to ask for her forgiveness or cry "baby come back to me" they would just move on to the next single sista who is lookin for 6'1 225 brown eyes and a brush cut. its a buyers market as our type here in the 30 something market 🙂

  10. @HNIC: I love smashing pumpkins, well at least before I went to college. I got more in touch with my own people. LOL!!

    @Tiffany in the H: Don't act like that. You know Michael Watts chops and screws everything (i.e. F Action series).

  11. @Hasani: I feel you … if these negros weren't short and felt the need to overcompensate … they wouldn't be gliding across the stage without shirts crying about some chick that exists only in their minds. Lets be real … you think these n****s are crying over a chic? They got a different one every night and merely have decided that being hated on by men is ok to be loved by women. So sad this softness is.

    @TIH: Really … hate … damn.

    @Funky: Thank you for feeling me. I knew it just couldn't be me.

    @Bree: That maybe very true. I think its the point where the percentage that has ruined for me has done such a good job, the others just don't get thought about. While I have albums from almost everyone listed, I still don't listen to them just because I'm mentally fixed on "don't listen to R&B".

    @BBEyez: Ok … maybe you can't really make love to rap … but I am perfectly capable to making love to R&B and even getting caught up in it. Love making is about satisfying a woman really (we men don't take a lot of work … just jiggle the balls and bend over) … so I'm all about doing whatever I need to bring her to a screaming "O". I will admit I've even researched and created mixtapes just to make it all special for that person.

  12. "Love making is about satisfying a woman really (we men don’t take a lot of work … just jiggle the balls and bend over)"

    ….I had nothing to say today until I read this comment…lol…ur a gotdamn fool SBM!!!

  13. Well not 'real' hate, SBM just the play kind. 🙂

    @Teacia: Yeah I was pretty much done with him after that statement. LOL!!!

  14. @Teacia: I would love to say we are more complex creature when it comes to sex … but really … jiggle the balls, lick the head, bend over (or assume one of the positions), and just enjoy the experience.

  15. @SBM seems like the sistas are down ur spine today……uh….hmm

    DO you need help…..bruder…….

    Must say….. U.. f**ked up on this one……..DAMn you!!! ……men

    But damn listening to Keith Sweat…..

    HEy….wat bout GUCCI MANE……..very freaky gurl……………….


  16. "… but really … jiggle the balls, lick the head, bend over (or assume one of the positions), and just enjoy the experience."

    SBM sweetie I'm done with you…just when I thought you couldn't have made that statement anymore ridiculously ignant…u went and proved me wrong…lol.

  17. @HNIC: I love smashing pumpkins, well at least before I went to college. I got more in touch with my own people. LOL!!

    not sure what thats supposed to mean.

    -Shashing pumpkins appear to be from the suburbs…. those are my people.

    -jon bonjovi appears to be from 3 miles from my home….. HES my people.

    -RA? angry former geeky latino guy from the suburbs who puts a message about society and life in his writings? his sidekick is a angry black guy from the suburbs who plays a mean drum? ya thats my peoples.

    -Rage against the Machine- A bunch of minorities who come from lower middle class background who hate the government and use their words and a platform for getting the msg out to others to believe in what they believe? TOTALLY my people.

    Razor and Guido are jersey club heads… thats SOOO my people!!!

    I dont understand a mutha fukin thing "solja boi" is saying… he is NOT my people.

    Alan Thicke grew up rich and canadian….. ya hes not my people either.

    Jon B… smooth talkin rich white guy who likes black chicks wit phat asses?? ya not my peoples either (though the mu fuka made one hell of a CD Ill admit)

    its amazing how the last blog topic we all talk about doing "what comes natural" but when I say I just listen to whatever music I feel it good, Im told I should be listening to music that everyone else thats my age and black is listening too…. isnt that the same thing as do your hair because everyone else is doing it?

    (ponders the ideals while listening to Razor and Guido)

  18. @HNIC: I see you obviously took things way into left field. When I referenced "my people," by no means did I explicitly mean that I started listening to soldier boy or anyone like him that may come to mind. What I expected to be taken from that statement was, I, having spent my entire life never really going to school with peers that look like me, started to hang with more black kids (who weren't my cousins or neighborhood acquaintances), and inherrently started to do what they did, listened to certain music, learned and started using different slang, dressed a little differently, etc. HNIC, does that make sense to you? That's what I meant by getting in touch with my people. And since you mentioned that you and your homies smashing pumpkins were from the burbs . . . that's definitely not me. Hate the burbs, can't stand it . . . those are not my people.

  19. wow…..yeah, I can't say i'm all that surprised SBM at your decision/opinion really. You like what you like, and that's cool. although….I think that once you find that "one" perhaps your views on some of the true R&B will change.

    Chris Brown cannot be grouped with Marvin. Raheem's follow up album can't hold a match to his first one and that's just a fact. Alicia Keyes is singing about the same thing you said you hated, but her coke bottle makes it easier to overlook that I suppose.

    R&B is about love, it's about emotion & passion……so, like i said, perhaps it will appeal to you in a different way when you've found a bridge to it.

  20. @Hasani…dude, when the hell did anyone on here bash you for the music you listen to or tell you what you should listen to instead? Please tell me the post number cuz just this once I actually read every single post and didn't see a smidgen of what you've referred to…help me out, maybe i missed something. Are you that bent on playing the victim?

    @SBM…you forgot to mention the need to hum on the balls, LMAO (one of my best boyfriends ever gave me that bit of advice…its served me well, hahaha!)

  21. Hahah….you just put them in your mouth and moan really good, the vibration and the impression of enthusiasm makes him feel nice…works even better if you put them between your lips and pull them in a bit.

    excuse me to all the "conservatives" in the group, didn't mean to turn this into a lesson in fallatio…otherwise I'd be charging, LMAO

  22. *HI-FIVE* to my girl Bree…you can't be giving away all the secrets…lol.

    Hasani shut up already…dang.

    Renegade I would love to tell you to ignore him but he's made being "misunderstood" a skill, it makes you just want to jump in and strangle him…it's his MO…really save your energy and ignore him. He does a pretty good job of making himself look ignant.

    Oh and SBM worked in Austin for a little while, which apparently is when he jumped on the chopped and screwed bandwagon…so sad that he can listen to chopped and screwed but not R&B.


  23. TheRenegade took her picture down… I was about to come on here and complain but I noticed Teacia has like a bizillion new photos… oh my oh my so many hawt black women to look at any me with only two eyes 🙂

  24. Post #32 is the first form of non provoked overt hostility, and degregation. I would be inclined at this trice to interate that a fore mentioned statement was in no way initiated by my person, and all forms and levels of retaliation should be regarded by the congregation as self defense.

    Bree baby….. who said the word bash? you mis quote and take things out of context more than the NYpost.

    you should work up here hun, I got yo hook up.


  25. See Hasani, now I stopped calling you Sani…I'm bout' ready to take it back there…lol.

    I told you shut up because you're just being ridiculous about the music thing, you want some attention Sani' baby…is that what the long and "self defensive"(although no one came at you) post was about. Well here's a little love and attention for you you *muah*…now cut this sh*t out already.

    And I just unblocked your behind today…I know that album should be set to friends only just like the rest of them…guess I gotta change that…lol.

  26. My dude what da hell do you listen to when you have female company…lol…Maybe you just haven't been exposed to the good stuff if you want i'll send some of my r&b mixes not the stuff you hear on the radio some soulful joints mixed in with some hip hop….

  27. oh you think blowing cyber kisses at me because you have insurmountable degrees of sex appeal will work on me do ya…….

    what do I look like to you… a single black male or something?

    now if you people will excuse me, me and my box of Kleenex will be in the corner flipping through Tecias new photos


  28. @hasani…suga, i was referring to your comment in post #25 quoted here: "its amazing how the last blog topic we all talk about doing “what comes natural” but when I say I just listen to whatever music I feel it good, Im told I should be listening to music that everyone else thats my age and black is listening too…. isnt that the same thing as do your hair because everyone else is doing it?"

    since post # 35 is well before post #25, i ask the question again who in the world told u "when u say u just listen to whatever music u felt is good" that you should be "listening to music that everyone else thats your age and black" is listening to?

    I will also note that since I asked the question in post #29, post #35 could not possibly have been the source of your playing the victim which resulted in my asking the question since that post was obviously posted well after the question i asked….I'll take a job at the new york post when you work on your ability to follow a conversation chronologically. Buenas noches.

  29. LMAO!!!! This is a post is funny as hell!! I love R&B it does make you soft though. It makes you cry a little harder…lol

    if anyone claims its because of my young age or that I will “grow into it” …well what can I say, it is a factor…lol

    I will agree that old school 'soul music' is the ish!!!

    Music puts you in the mood, whether its rap, r & b, gospel, blues, etc. If nobody can relate to how you are feeling you can always pop in a cd and feel that the person on that record is feeling your mood. When you listen to screwed hip hop your feeling what they may be saying when they are talking about being on their hustle. Everyone has and will experience heartbreak the kind that has you laying on the floor crying, slinging snot, and whatever else these songs say. But you know if nothing else that person feels you.

    If you ever get to that place I can't see you bumping no Lil Wayne's 'A Milli' when you are heartbroken.

    I can't see you making love to Young Jeezy 'Put on for my city' or your all time favorite ' My Dougie.

    Some of the new R&B is trash! But I like a lot of throwbacks. Right now I still can't get Still a Man , E.N.S, Luther Vandross 'Going in Circles' off the speakers. But I will tell you nothing is better than the classics.

    I might have to email you some of my playlist to get you on some good ish…lol

  30. @ Teacia… Hey!! I have been busy and will be all this week. I am working at the Unity Journalist Conf. here in Chicago. So I will be getting here late most of the days.

    I will definitely send him some of my play list.

  31. Comeback is gone?

    her website is still up, I still see that silky hair and smile so shes not gone to me. But I replaced comebackgirl as my #1 Blog beauty queen with Renegade the moment I saw that pic! Hair is almost just as silky, cuter eye shape, more slender.

    Ya mon, SBM seriously needs to start a calendar wit some of yall and a few friends. too bad no men read this blog and it wouldnt sell 🙁

  32. ooooooh, now you know SBM is going to get you for that. there are several men who read and even participate.

    and comeback is gone from THIS site…now you got all that extra cyber energy left over…i appreaciate the compliments…as do renegade i'm sure…but Hasani come on seriously, you gotta stop cyber stalking chics…it's just not a good look.

  33. There seems to be a couple of guys who reads, but rarely do they comment. I agree with Hasani … the calendar prolly wouldn't sell.

  34. Dude…I have no words. I mean, I have never met anyone else who doesn't feel the soft music. I feel the same as you do only I can omit Alicia Keys from my list. I too admire the greats. The oldies but goodies but they do NOT get played often. Finally, a man after my own heart.

    I'm a soft lady. I'm a real woman. I'm a chick chick but I don't think that has anything to do with the music I listen to. Hell I don't even much like the aren b songs featuring rappers or the sangin ass rappers that were hot bout 4 yrs ago.


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