So I was roaming around youtube and found this clip off an NBC news segment about interracial dating.
Apparently women are finding opening more and more to interracial dating. One big motivator is that there is just a lack of “good men” at the higher rungs of the corporate ladder for these successful black women. Apparently we’re just not “keeping up”.
Over at I Date White they talked about black women’s love for black men … so apparently its not to epidemic proportions yet.
Personally, I don’t care. Love who you want. If I date a white woman, don’t judge me. If your dating a white guy … well you probably haven’t met me yet (jk) … but good for you. I hate anyone that will promote any race outside of their own for whatever (usually stereotypical reasons) … but at the end of the day … to each their own.
I feel its WAY overblown…. still…
the venom that comes from our own when it comes to interacial dating is scary.
look how many times on this blog our sistas get bent out of shape about it. Like I remember one blog post… I had a rare valid point and the comeback to undercut my validity was "OMG YOU DATED A WHITE WOMAN"
Hell I have even seen it pop up in places and conversations where it didnt have any relevance.
Me: Dude Kim Kardasian is hawt!
ABW: YOu are a weak brotha.. you love your WHITE WOMEN!!!
Me: Ummm Kim Kardashian is not white
ABW: Dumb Nigga… yes she is
me: Umm shes Armenian.. hence the yellow skin, brown nipples, dark thick hair and brown eyes…. not Caucasian.
Then after pointint out that Armenians are not white… it got broken down to "its close enough, you actually WANT to date WHITE WOMEN, you punk brotha!!"
The fact that I was with a white woman is harder prosecuted by my own than it is by other races.
If I had a dollar for every time my ex and I were in public and obviously happy and some sista would have a smart ass comment out loud in front of me and my woman. I dont think in 10 years I ever had a white dude pop off at the mouth. Its not like I had a fly by night relationship with several white women. I loved one and only one to depths I cant explain with words. God never created a more beautiful woman, but as happy as we both were my own couldnt be happy for us. the question is why?
Hell, I am dating a black woman now, who didnt want anything to do with my scrub ass. CAlled her, dated her, text her, gave her fresh cut flowers… she didnt want a damn thing to do with me. 3 months go by and she sees me out at a party with this 6ft blond goddess in a mini skirt and then Miss Alaska calls me out of the blue to cus me out about my "new friend"… and then proceeds to screw my brains out. all just because she was angry over a white woman?? this shit makes no sense.
I like black women.. I actually prefer black women. But as a single man I am open minded enough to know if I am getting resistance from a sista and nappyness from Bambi …. Bambi is going to get the date and the $700 Michelle Urban watch.
Hahahaha!!!! LMAO…Wow I can't believe someone would come like that. Thats is more ignorant and stupid than prejudice…damn that was funny.
I say date who you want… just give your own "preferential treatment"when selecting and looking for dates.
That is, walk up to a black man and talk to him before you go chase down the white guy over in the vip section buying rounds.
I know I will make an absolute fool out of my self getting over to speak to the black women in a room/lounge, and beat back older white women with a friggin stick.
If a latin chick and a black chick come in together and both are equally as fine. I will talk to the black one first, thats how I think things should be between "us". but after she gives me flack and resistance… I scoop up the Rican chick and have fun doin cha -cha/Salsa on the floor for the next 40 minutes while the sista sits at the bar… yeah it happened before.
but hey, I preferred the sista first, which is all you can ask for. I say that should be a standard RULE for this game we call black dating.
so yeah I wrote about this yesterday on our site. it was a very hot topic .. the comments well were heated .. http://blackfemmefatale.wordpress.com/2008/08/05/…
so i guess I will leave my opinion here as well.. just gonna copy and paste from my blog:
For every 1 college-educated, $50k/yr black male, there are 3 college-educated, $50k/yr black females (or something like that). Not a good look right? Then you add the fact that a good percent of those black men won’t even be with black women… I mean no matter what anyone says, numbers don’t lie (usually) and the picking are slim. Black women over all other races seem to be the most loyal – meaning they usually only date black men… every other race/sex seems to be more open.
I’m saying all this to say that black women, after years of being loyal to less educated lesser paid men, finally realize that they need someone who is more equal to them. And there is nothing wrong with that, b/c you’re gonna have more in common with someone who thinks more like you then someone who doesn’t.
Hm. I don't know what it is about me…but my very first boyfriend was a white guy. He treated me as though the sun rose and set around me. Now I know you're thinking this guy is a simp, but he wasn't. He just knew and understood that I had some worth. He consistently went above and beyond to make sure I felt special and I did not wander. For over two years, no matter what the issue was we attempted to work it out. Since that seemed to be working I tried again but ended up with a "white" man who was awful. From there on out I decided that I was NEVER going to date a white guy again. So I switched over and was totally thrown by the black man's persona. I found them to be strong and sexy, with a confidence like no other. Therefore, from then on out I have dated nothing but black men. After some years of that I maybe just maybe might consider broadening my dating horizons although they would have to be ethnic.
Now with the fact that black men are not as educated or in the same socio-economic status does not mean that we should automatically jump ship. I would be perfectly happy to have a man with a blue collar job who wants to bring home part of his check to help with bills than I would want to have someone on my level or above who does not treat me well. I think sometimes once a black man gets to a certain level he starts to feel like he's entitled to being treated well because he's such a rarity. Having encountered one, I don't think I want it. That said, I am not gonna give up on black men. When it's right, they are so amazing.
I just think you should date whomever you feel. As long as they are a child of God it shouldn't matter.
hey! i read the same thing yesterday on http://www.blackfemmefatale.wordpress.com. well it had the same title and jist at least. are ya'll in cohoots? they get the woman's view and you all get the man's? or was this site inspired by the other? either way, i say, like who you like and be proud of it.
question to SBM and readers? what would your mom say if you brought a white chick home? my mother would not let me bring a white man home. there would be some drama. my dad could be convinced a little more easily.
and in fact the black men that i know say that they would hit a white chick, but not wife her because that goes against how they were raised.
Well to me the odds seem even more staggering. Every time I come on here and say "zomg theres like black women all over the place and theres no black men…." someone says "STFU HNIC you are wrong theres tons of rich black men all over the place… go date a white woman u scrub"
but to me I find SOOOOO many single black women and I just remember it being so hard to get one back in the club scene because there were 20 dudes tripping over 1 sista. Where'd we all go?
Im tellin ya, being tall black fit educated with a nice job all your teeth and no kids is like a crime its so easy to date.
but as for Angry's coment about dating a white guy. I say go for it as long as you gals at least look for and give a brotha an equal shot… I have no problem with you guys outsourcing.
Most…. fuck that…. ALL single black men that I know as friends are currently not dating american born black women. But that being said… I know each of us have had a sista we liked or had an adult crush on this year.. that just didnt want to bother with us or we didnt make enough money for.
now that I make money….. do I really WANT to date a hostile american born black woman?? If ya didnt want me 4 weeks ago before the $1,700 a week was hitting my bank account… why the hell would I want them now? I dont need Miss Alaska yelling at me every night for the rest of my life, I like her, at times its like I cant resist thinking about her… but she just makes it SOO HARD to deal with her and puts me down and disrespects me so much … why would I put up with this long term… especially when Miss ER would never talk to me like Im below her and would never jump in my face like she wanted to fight me.
I was a very nice guy when I was fat, and I was a very nice guy when I was working on the loading docks at BMS… why am I all of the sudden worth talking to now? I dunno… stuff like this baffles me.
Im just gonna keep dating and especially dating these dark skin sistas ya'll brothas dont seem to want these days though. Im happy at the attention I am getting from black women now it makes me feel complete and strong… I just feel sorry for guys who dont have the same stats as myself who have to stay single at 30 because normal corporate sista wont give them a shot.
I enjoyed this post over at FeFe's and Jolie's…my comments and opinions remain the same. I feel good to know that I have options. I even start to approach dating differently when all I got to do is start responding to white men's advances.
Now theres a post…White men's game is totally different, sometimes you don't even realize what he did or what he was doing until your azz is half way down the street/around the corner/or home.
@HNIC-Good point. If she didn't want you without the money then why should she have you when you have it? Now, I think you should try to talk to and understand the so called angry native black women. I think you might find that there's something behind all that anger. I don't think any black woman is angry about any one particular thing.
@Comeback-There game is totally different. Sometimes I am like wait what the, oh wow. But I think they like it that way.
Now since I think most of you are up north I am curious as to how interracial dating is viewed there, since I know that here down south people still give you funny looks and in the state I'm from it's formally on the book as illegal
Why is the angry black woman angry? Because my father and my uncles and cousins have failed them for the past 2 generations. because they fear having to go into poverty so much they are neglecting love and family in place of money and perceived comfort. And because its easier to cling to the moniker of "ABW"… its almost expected now.
Black Men just like women who are nice to them and that will LET us love them. We could care less about race. Brothas are the most compassionate and loving creature god has created for this planet… by far.
I have a laundry list of things I like and catch flack from alot of the other blog sistas about it… Thin, nice muscle tone, dark skin, Geeky/educated, silky hair, well dressed….
but men hardly go for our list. Hell miss alaska is pale as a ghost, not geeky, frizzy hair, and 40 inch friggin hips. not exactly my "list gal" but drives me crazy (in more ways than one) none the less.
most sistas I know however will not talk to a brotha thats outside of their "list" and would prefer to remain single waiting for a man that is worthy of their time…. or is that just the sistas I know?
interacial dating in the NYC north jerz area
Black men dating most white women… ok to black men.. ok to white women.. ok to white men… fiercely detested by black women
Black men dating ethnic italian women: Detested by italian men and Black women (brothas like that good cookin and thick ass)
Black men dating asian women : moderately detested by black women, Ignored/shunned by asian men.
Black men dating Pakistani/Indian/Bangi women: No problems
Black men dating spanish women: No problems
Black men dating African women: No problems from black women, but highly detested by african men
Black women dating African men: No problems
Black women dating spanish men : No problems
Black women dating white men : Highly dested by black men and women
Anyone dating arab is viewed as strange….. I dont have to go into why just look at the giant hole in the skyline.
Black women dating asian men:
The woman I started dating last week is telling me her last boyfriend was asian. She claims black men and women gave her alot of crazy looks..
Im not sure how I would regard a sista who dated an asian man. I think I would look at her strange, but there would be no hate or resentment.
for some strange reason up north its ok for blacks to date phillipinos (men and women) but its considered strange for us to date any other asian race .
@Hasani-Well this is true but I think some of those things are inborn. I think black women have been going through these things since our arrival in the US and even before. We understand what it's like to need or want something and not be able to have it because our men are not doing what they were supposed to do. Someone recently told me, "I was mad the first year and now I'm over it" which tells me that women do get over things.
Now I think you are right black men are some of the most compassionate and loving people out there. Black women do sometimes need to check themselves and not necessarily crawl down a man's throat all the time. I think it's cool to let him know when he's wrong but every day is too damned much.
Now about this list…I digress from mine all the time, although I firmly believe that what you desire in a mate should be your prayer to God. From this, you likely get different variations of the same base person. My thoughts on this are kinda complicated but I do think based on all of our personalities there is a mate out there somewhere designed for us. It's just about finding it and when you do it shouldn't matter what race they are as long as they give you butterflies.
I think "the list" gets us caught up everytime.
Like Lauryn Hill said "What you want my make you cry and what you need might pass you by….."
Well, having lived in different parts of the country, I have received a myriad of responses from men of other ethnicities. I'm from Houston, and black men love me, I even catch Hispanic men giving me the eye many times, but I get very little attention from W men. I think it has a lot to do with the culture out here, and this being the south. I rarely see interracial couples around these parts. HOWEVER, I just moved back home from Miami. Out there, it's completely different. Most of the dates I went on were with W men, and Hispanic men in a distant second. I personally had no interest in being with a Hispanic man, because I just don't care for their mentality and machismo nature they have. The W men absolutely LOVED me in Miami, and I enjoyed being out with them sometimes, but they (at least the one's I have come in contact with) are soooo different. Not necessarily a bad different, but different enough to make me always think about it. It's like their personality, swagger, conversation, tone of voice, etc, etc, etc is weird. I'm not saying it's bad, it just hasn't been to my liking.
My experiences as far as how I am treated by both B and W men is pretty much the exact same. I don't know about other women on here, but I generally am just not attracted to the W's. They literally have to be the best thing since light bread, for me to double take. As for Asians, Middle-Easterners, and anyone else outside of black, W, and hisp, they don't even register on my radar (unless they are abnormally big men or have an attractive feature).
I have W homegirls who pretty much only date black men. It doesn't bother me, but I can't blame them because they probably like Tyrone, Day-Shun, and Chris for the exact same reason I do . . .
I see nothing wrong with dating outside of your race but I do have a problem with folks who put down their OWN race to justify why they are dating non-AAs.
Jolie fatale, I'll check out your original post. Women should keep their options open and if that means dating non-AAs then so be it.
Jaclynn–exactly. They should be equally yoked–and that could be a combination of things–spiritually, financially, etc.
Tiff to answer your question my mother wouldn't have an issue with me bringing a white man home as long as he treated me right. Now if he was abusive or misused me (regardless of his skin color) then she wouldn't like him.
Also Tiff one thing I've seen unfortunately when it has come to some Black men with white women, they are with some of these women for all the wrong reasons. One of my friends he is finding out that white women aren't as easy as he thought they were. She is giving him hell and he deserves it. He went into the relationship thinking that he could treat her any kind of way just because she was white. He was in for a rude awakening.
Jaclynn, I'm in the south and probably in one of the most racist states there is however blacks/whites intermingling doesn't get as many stares here as you would think. Truthfully there are barely many pure whites or pure blacks anyway. Everybody knows back in the day "the massa" slept with the slaves and thus mixed white/blacks together–that's why just in my family we come in so many shades–from the lightest to the white to the blackest of the black. I fall somewhere in between–brown.
I guess the proper thing to do would be to thank SBM for highlighting my guest post on Eathan's site.
I am obviously not a big proponent of interracial dating…so I will just assume it in my best interest to cordially bow out of today's dialogue.
…you guys take it easy.
@Shelia-Me too. Maybe it's just the areas of town where I go.
@Teacia-Can you shoot me a link to your post? I'd love to read it.
I honestly didn't know there was another post about this yesterday. I was influenced by the youtube video and chose the title because thats the name of the movie.
I think my parents woud be cool with a white woman. My mom's sister is happily married in Canada to a white guy. Didn't even think anything of it until I was like 16. Actually asked them their thoughts on it once and recieved "you love who you love".
I find it funny that generally many of the women here are open to dating a white man or have … but someone like Hasani has really caught all kinds of hell for liking white women. Its like that episode of the Boondocks when Tom was in Court. He presented his case and the defense came back with "He's married to a white woman" … and that was it. He lost the case …
@SBM-Thanks love. Yeah, I think it's more about how Hasani presents it as though white women are somehow better than black women.
" honestly didn’t know there was another post about this yesterday. I was influenced by the youtube video and chose the title because thats the name of the movie."
Its just the eclipse… I think…sometimes people are just on the same wave length…I'm totally fascinated by the sheer synchronicity of it all.
in regards to the other mentioned person take Eathan for example. People don't attack him (at least not on here). WHY??? he likes what he likes. I've never seen him write offensive comments about American Born black women. I appreciate that Eathan has gone on and found happiness where he is instead of dating black women for charity.
And there is a difference. I honestly have never been more emphatic about the option until encountering some of Hasani's comments.
Wow. Teacia's post on Eathan's site is an amazing representation of how I feel about the entire situation.
Hm. Let me think on it for awhile.
*Tippy toe'n in the back door*
I didn't watch the video but I will say I love black men, something about them just makes me say ooohhhh weeeee (ok im done)
I actually (inspite of my whole detroit black men suck rundown) and statistics believe there are enough black men to go around, I think tho as some of us go up the corp ladder, we raise our standards, saying oh he has to work in corp america, same job, same title, same car, oh man he car is blue instead of black ect…..
your standards should be high but not unrealistic. There are plenty good men, I think we just choose not to date them for one reason or another due to our own hang ups.
I personally don't plan to venture out per say, cuz i just love chocolate to much but i will say i need to venture outside of michigan to expand, I want to know them country grammer men, the southern hospitality men, the ny sweet as pie men and the rest around the globe!
excluding atl men, cuz i think they are all gay for some odd reason
the puttin down your own race to date anothe rrace thing is overblown.
I sweat black chicks to no end… like Im such a sucker… but the strangest things are called a "put down"
like me liking kim kardashian was called a put down to black women…. me liking sleek black women was also called putting down black women…. hell someone even said me liking dark skinned sistas was a cover up for me secretly wanting white women..
ladies… its not that serious. Some sistas are buying into the fear thing a bit too much.
I have lived behind "enemy lines" with a white woman. And ya know what…. they dont care about you. They are a bit intimidated by the violence you may bring in the work place is what I learned… and they want to cry when you intimidate them in public and disrespect them…. but other than that they do not have a secret vendetta against you like you have against them.
now.. the white MAN however is out to get us and crush us, but thats a whole nother topic yall.
And it cant be a skin color thing… since I dont know any black man who dosent vibe with these beautiful african women whom have graced the NY metro area the past decade. I absolutely LOVE Nigerian women… its almost like dating a black woman… only they are usually alot thinner and theres no hostility.
Its a culture thing and a harbored hate that angry black women have towards the black man.
Shame Im hooked on angry black women though… god im such a glutton for punishment 😐
Oh My Gosh you…get some funny insights what the heck is wrong woth these people…your experiences are sad but they have me cracking up!!!
@Mikki: I lived there too . . . Yes, they are ALL gay. LOL!!
"I find it funny that generally many of the women here are open to dating a white man or have … but someone like Hasani has really caught all kinds of hell for liking white women."
SBM, its sort of like what Jaclynn said and also what I said in my first post–as long as the person dating outside of their race isn't trying to belittle their OWN race I have no problems with it. Unfortunately some black men want to down black women to justify their reasoning for dating white women. When folks do that there are deeper rooted issues that a blog can't even begin to cover.
comeback: you could care less about black men. you only would say you do to not loose face and seem like a total nazi. you have no respect for us as a whole and regard the majority of us as not up to your standards.
Your type is the reason most black men dont want to date black women in this decade, you make it too hard.
I couldnt imagine if I came home from work and showered you with compliments only get yelled at about this and that. You were angry long before I started posting here, and you were single longer still. The moniker of an angry black woman is such an aluring thing you almost clutch tighter to it and want to blame the white woman and the black man for your own shortcomings .
I could care less how much the abw makes or how much time she wants to spend plotting the downfall of her co workers…. as long as you make my life loveable and stress free I will treat you like a queen and never leave your side.
but somewhere along the line it became more glamorous to be alone and hateful than compromising and vulnerable with brothas. We dont hate black women…. so why do ABW's hate black men? Ive never once gotten a solid GOOD reason.
lol @ renegade thank you for confirming that!!!
*scratches ATL off places to visit* lol
what about cali men? or texas guys?
I dont belittle BLACK women… I hold a mirror up for ANGRY black women… in my opinion a totally separate sub culture.
come on now…. please someone tell me how saying I like Kim Kardashian is belittling black women? cuz her video is one of the most watched on youtube so obviously Im not alone in my thinking.
I like women who care about their weight. if your fat… I dont like you. Fat women is NOT = black women…. only fat black women think that. Which is funny how thats something I say thats supposidly puttin the sista down… when the majority of the sistas on the board complain about black mens income and put me and other black men down about how much we make. Dont you know that this system is rigged AGAINST the black man and we have to work harder than anyone else just to make half as much? and you have the NERVE to hate us for it?
the system is NOT rigged against a fat chick pushing her chubby face away from the dinner table and being active and healthy as opposed to sitting her ass on the couch. We have complete control over our body.
so why is it good for comeback and teacia… but such a horrid thing when i have my own?
its this ubspoken hate.
SBM has a very valid point… I didnt get any flack on the blog til I said i spent 10 years with an Italian woman. Stuff like that is what drives us apart. Even now Im told I prefer white women and put black women down… but Im currently dating black women and steer away (but not avoid) white women…. but all you can head is that I lived with a white woman and had a great life and for some reason it drives the ABW into a frenzied state of madness….
what did she ever do to you???
Thats because a) I'm not angry b) I've been single for TWO months c) as another poster wrote (I can't think of her name right this second and I like to cite other people's work (brown suga 28???) "I give as good as I get."
And yes there is mad glamour in being self-reflective, self-improving, and self-loving. I'm not the selfless sacraficing "feed me/fyk me/shut the fyk up" type of woman. And I can't play Harriet Tubman in a relationship..sorry.
"I can’t play Harriet Tubman in a relationship..sorry."
lol The Comeback Girl, I'll have to remember that line.
no thanks. I don't get down with pink toes, but to each his own.
eta: Teacia, I loved your post on the other blog
@Comeback: Harriet Tubman . . . ROTFLMBAO!!! LOL!!!!
@HNIC: By saying that the system is rigged against black men, are you saying that it isn't the same for black women, and that we don't have just as hard of a time getting to the top as you do??? Curious . . .
I so agree with you about not caring about your health, and pushing away from the table . . . It's just my preference. If you like your muffin top or spilling out of your bra tata's, then so be it. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't like my thighs to rub, ESP in summer. LOL!! But I guess due to genetics, I won't ever get rid of this.
HNIC, I don't even have to debate with you on whether or not you "belittle" black women. People can read past comments (unless they've been deleted) and see for themselves. You're quick to label a black woman "angry" and the truth of the matter is–what woman wants to put up with bull crap–none that I know of and that has nothing to do with the color of our skin.
You do have issues that can't be delved into on a blog. Truth is, we all have issues–if you're over the age of 5, you have issues. But please don't try to group everyone in the same boat. Don't try to talk about others to justify your way of thinking. If you think or feel a certain way–than so be it…but you don't have to down another person to get your point across.
@ Renegade & Shelia
nope cannnot and will not play a slave, a former slave and will not work on trying to free yo azz from any type of shackled mentality.
Shelia: projection is the name of this game!!! How can you profess to be a chubby Al Roker look alike for two months and then morph into Richard Simmons who now wants to save all the black "fat" women…without ME SUGGESTING that yes indeed YOU HATE YOURSELF. It has nothing to do with me and the twinkie i just ate.
I'll keep my chubby cheeks, I'll run today or maybe I won't. I'll have pasta or maybe I won't. So what of it??
Richard Simmons . . . Again, I am ROTFLMBAO!!!!!!! He's such a fairy!!!
damn Comeback i really thought u were just going to let him go on with his rants and not respond…that would have made my day…cause it was quite funny how he was being ignored.
oh and thanks Belle. *back to my corner*
Ok…I take that back not Richard Simmons in a thong leotard and white tights…scratch that…
insert Billy Blanks in something appropriate and tight.
"morph into Richard Simmons."
That had me laughing especially after recalling seeing Simmons on David Letterman the other night….hilarious.
Most people have preferences (or should I say, more open to various choices), whether it be complexion, body mass, height/weight, and long/short hair (texture)- ethnic/racial makeup just happens to be one of them. Some of this comes from how and where we grew up (location/census block/tract/group); some comes from family and friends; and some comes from new experiences- college and the corporate world come to mind. Interracial dating/marriage (and the children from these relationships) is nothing new. Shoot, everyday when I look in the mirror, I see a prime example of it.
its nasty chicks like you that make ethan date other races. Why would he put up with an aging, sloppy spinster who thinks she is a prize just because…. well… theres really NO reason to think your such a prize. you dont really have shit on an asian or white woman… there .. I said it 😉
No sista thats in her mid 30's should have the claim to fame of having a longest relationship of 2 years… da hell kinda BS is that to bring to the table?
and acting like a dime but shoving ho-ho's in your mouth makes the situation even worse. I dont think that its the sistas that are CLEARLY a dime turning down my brothas that cause this divide. its your monique lookin drama queen ass, doging out any and everyone just because you have an ego problem.
sit your ass down and learn to respect your men. Id like video or you in a club beating up every average guy who comes your way with hate and contempt. stop blaming the average man for the hate you have built up over your daddy. I seem to get along with other dudes just fine … why cant you?
I still remember the first piece of BS I called you out on when I started talking on this blog. You went on a rant blaming black men not wanting to commit and being no good for the reason black women are single.
I called you out on it and you didnt believe me… so I posted the stats to back up that eventhough you angry chickenheads dont want to be married and dont want to work with your peers, we are getting married in spite of you.
I laugh as I date calm black women and ABW's sit home and wonder why they have more grey hairs than dates.
This friday when that pitiful 1,200 hits your bank account and that nice 1,700 hits mine…. remember that if you were anywhere near decent of a woman you could get a promotion insted of being a cunt and making it harder on the rest of us to get ahead.
Do us all a favor and stay home on friday nights and count your stretch marks insted of going in public and making black love look worse off than it really needs to be.
just wanna note, monique called me richard simmons first.
I count 4 attacks on myself with this being the first time this post I have countered.
just makin it clear, so when the blubbering starts I can hold up a mirror to you.
shit like this happens…. and somehow its black men's fault and white womens fault and not yours? ya id leave you for a white chick too.
hasani is it something in your kool-aid you may want to tell us about sir??
ok Hasani will do..
I wish this was "Dallas"so someone could shoot JR ..that would be you HNIC..
leaving the blog for the day… i cant take all the negativity.. just cant…
So…I thought I had retired. You are so disrespectful and negative. Grow up and be a man. A real man doesn't sit around and do this with women.
Real women dont start this with the men that are trying to love, help, protect and love them… they save it for the enemy.
You make yourself the enemy by making derogatory statements.
"I like women who care about their weight. if your fat… I dont like you"
Sooo you have no women who are overweight by ANY stretch of the imagination in your family??? not a mother , a sister, an aunt a cousin…
On top of which you only reserve hate for "FAT" women ??? What about when you described yourself as being "Al Roker"??? So fat men (pre or post gastric bypass) get a pass?
im a say little prayer for you. (think really hard about the relative question. THINK REALLY REALLY HARD).
Wow, I was over here about to doze off at my computer, but man oh man, am I awake now!!! Not that I wanna see ComeBack berated by any means, but that was some real slick sh*t you just spewed, HNIC. It's nice to see people use their words, instead of something else. Even though you had a point, the fact that ComeBack barely responded makes your behavior look crass. Regardless, ya'll both make a very good argument in support of your stance.
@Mikki: I can't speak for the whole state of Texas, because the spectrum of what you'll run into is crazy. But giiiiiirrrrrlllll, lemme tell you that we got some fine one's out here in Houston! Just thinking about it kinda makes me wanna make a call . . . lol
I can't speak for all of cali, but LA men are pretentious to me. My line sister just moved back home to Houston from LA, and she said she absolutely hated the dating scene there. To me, there's nothing quite like a southern man.
Well Renegade because there is NOTHING left to say, he's wrong about my age, my outlook, how I PERSONALLY treat men that I respect, my dating activities, the fact that I sit at home (and not on here at 2 am on a weekend spue-ing the hate he drops daily) and if I bought the money he says I make home…well…I'd be homeless and wouldn't be driving Betsy mae thats for damn sure!!
How can you put down women you precieve as being fat…when there HAS to be ONE WOMAN whose a size 12 SOMEWHERE in your familly tree…SOMEWHERE . And he doesn't hate overweight men??? Just women??
I feel it's my duty as a referee on the sidelines to correct a BLATANT lie:
Post #44 says and I quote:
"I count 4 attacks on myself with this being the first time this post I have countered….just makin it clear, so when the blubbering starts I can hold up a mirror to you."
However this was the first word of attack today:
Post #29 UNPROVOKINGLY states and I quote:
"comeback: you could care less about black men. you only would say you do to not loose face and seem like a total nazi. you have no respect for us as a whole and regard the majority of us as not up to your standards.
Your type is the reason most black men dont want to date black women in this decade, you make it too hard. I couldnt imagine if I came home from work and showered you with compliments only get yelled at about this and that. You were angry long before I started posting here, and you were single longer still. The moniker of an angry black woman is such an aluring thing you almost clutch tighter to it and want to blame the white woman and the black man for your own shortcomings."
which at that point Comeback responds in #32…ending his senseless tirade to himself. *sighing*
Now as my duty as a sideline referee, I must point that Hasani was the first to throw a laced attack and then went crying victim only so he could feel justified in degrading one of the women on this blog despite our fearless moderators many requests for him to cut it out.
Hasani grow up already okay, it's becoming quite shameful…and I have a feeling that you're privileges may be revoked tomorrow if you don't learn to have a little respect.
@Teacia: I agree. I was thinking the exact samething, esp since SBM warned him yesterday . . .
Now ordinarily unless it's positive, funny, or in support of none foolishness I don't say anything. But this is something.
How could you say that you dislike "fat" women? Do you know the physical stature of every woman here? If not how could you know who you are offending and how? Furthermore, what if there was something health-wise wrong with a person that would make them blow up weight wise? What if they had a thyroid issue or multiple sclerosis? Are those reasons why you can be overweight? I am sorry but I kept my silence as long as I could but this honestly hurt my feelings. I cannot believe that anyone could be so generally rude. I try to give you the opportunity to vent. I am not an ABW and I do not see where I exhibit qualities thereof which might be why you generally don't say a thing to me. I feel that in general you contribute positive things, but the negative outweighs the positive and when that happens I have learned that you should just scratch that one thing off of your list. While you did not say fat=black women, we all know that the African-American community has problems with that. If anything, you made me feel sad, disheartened and upset that you could make such a crass, uneducated and misguided statement without stopping to think about the people who read this and who have attempted to support you. I wish you nothing but the best in life and I hope everything works in your advantage.
Good Luck and Godspeed,
"Well put ladies…I dont personally think Hasani should be banned. I think someone from HIS social circle should witness some of this nonsense. Perhaps his sister???? Hasani what do you think SHE would say about some of these comments????
If people had more accountability for what they said (and not complete and total anonymity)…less would be said in the WAY in which it was said.
What would your "master" say over at TMI??? I'd be very curious to hear his thoughts on some of your "musings"."
Hasani I'm going to say a prayer for you tonight.
@Renegade: I am going to have to disagree with you. I lived in Houston for TWO years and NEVER encountered a southern gentleman nor did I see how anything in TX was bigger. Granted I was dating someone back home (midwest) for most of that time but the way TX guys carried themselves, approached and interacted with women was disgusting. As a matter of fact I'm getting sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I may be generalizing but give me a midwest or east coast guy any day…their swaggers and confidence are intoxicating not to mention that they know how to treat a woman.
And before you respond, yes I am generalizing. However, the industry I work in caused me to be out and about more than the average person and because I was in a relationship I was able to observe a lot more. There's a key group of promoters that are whores and have women giving each other the "stink face" because they got caught up in thinking they were the only ones….
1st of all.. I thank Teacia for writing the post on my site. It's been a great place for peeps to begin to have dialog. It's one of my fav. posts!
@SBM thanks for puttin my link out there.
There's soo many comments that I can't respond to all of them. I think everyone knows how I feel about interracial dating. I know how Teacia feels about it..and I have GREAT respect for her and her views. I encourage everyone to date who they want…and love who they love.
My dating choices are not meant to belittle or disgrace the black woman. They are just choices.
I just LUV who I LUV for tonite. Tomorrow …I'll worry about that when it comes 🙂
Past that…I'm gonna bow out like Teacia did ….the 1st couple times…lol
i stayed off the topic though…cause you and i both know how ugly that may have gotten. although lately i have been entertaining the notion of dating white(oh god i think u rubbed off on me)
…hmmm, at the moment it's just a notion.
*back to my corner*
Thank you renegade for the update, maybe I will start with TN??? what you think??? southern men I hear are nice, But I do admit I kinda have a thing for pretentious men I am trying to get away from that, does that mean im pretentious too? I don't think i am lol, i pray im not!
Mik I thought you weren't leaving MI??? actually the metro detroit area??
lol Comeback I am not, im talking vacation wise in 2010. I am saving up vacation time now, so i can visit places everyweekend….. TN will officially be my first stop!!
DC (just cuz i think pretentious men live there and they are sexy)
Cali (the rich part not the hood part) or maybe hood part cuz them thugs can put it down
Last stop NY
2010…I would be your tour guide for the mid-atlantic (md, dc,va and maybe even philly)…but I'll be birthin my baby's by then…
thats ok I'll make room for sippy cups and car seats
lmao comeback you are nuts! sippy cups and car seats…… *fell*
yea so back to the original topic before i get cursed, something new is all fine and dandy and I have heard that *others treat us* with much more respect. But I still can't do it,
just slap me up n down like ike and call me a hoe as long as im getting my chocolate lovin while getting black eyes im ok…..
(joking guys really)
Mikki, what about Charlotte or Raleigh/Durham area?
@Belle-Made me think of Army Wives, sorry love that show!
@Comeback-Babies in 2010…2008's almost over is there something you're not telling?
@Mikki-No San Antonio or NOLA?
Never dated a white guy….not to say that I wouldn't. A few of my friends had a similar conversation about there not being enough "good" men for these black women. And I agree..but then I watch this guy by the name of SGT WILLIE PETE on you tube and his argument is that white men don't date "average" black women…..
Dating is so complicated…..
@Jaclynn: I love Army Wives, its my guilty pleasure!
@Belle-GASPS!!!! So amazing. I just love Roland and Joan..girl all of them really!
I swear, I just can't get any peace.
@Hasani: cut all this fussin with the women here! I'm really trying to be nice but ur truly kiling me. Stop insulting Comeback. It was funny the first time but now your just inflammatory. The next insulting word out your mouth will get u a temporary ban cause I kinda feel like ur testing me at this point. And while me and "sis" don't really get along you have become way worst. One word man … and I don't care if u were "provoked". This site is for me, but we men love our women.
@All: going out to bike night and retiring early. Don't want to come home and the bitch is on fire!!!
Comeback are you going to be in town Labor Day weekend…I'm thinking about a trip then. It would be great if we could all plan something.
Yes thank you all for the suggestions, I am adding them to the list!! whew I am super siked! I am going to pack a pretend bag for motivation til its time lol.
of course by then it will be just my luck that the new "somethin new" will be aliens or some crazy ish like that lol
Date me…….. I'M Black………..Mandingo!
Oh…..Before I forget. I got a job. ya. ……sigh….
@Teacia Thanks for the advice. references..hmm.
If you got the job I guess you don't need anymore references…but if you do I'm great at lying so I'm your girl! oh wait, doooesn't paaaint a great picture of me…hmpt…well i'm still your girl…lol.
I just got back from "Save My Starbucks" night in my community…Teacia, I have a family reunion that weekend. But let me know maybe I can come back early or something.
Jaclynn…The Lord works in mysterious ways. Yes he does!!!!
I have never dated outside my race but I have friends that have. I have friends that have married and had babies by women from other races. What I noticed is that a lot of these dudes were generally nice dudes in their late teens to early 20s. But the black women they wanted didn't want them. Thats one of the issues people don't discuss. I am not saying all black men but a lot of them want the Beyonce type but the Beyonce's don't want them. So they say black women are on some BS. It aint that black women are on some BS its the ones that you want are on some BS. Other black dudes I have seen are lame and black women don't want to have anything to do with them. They find white women to put up with their lame sh*t.
@Teacia-References…hmm make sure I remember that next time I need one…lol
@Comeback-Girl yes He does. He's always so on time. I hope it works out for you. Some ComebackBabies!!! Aww…man I wish I had a Starbucks I am craving an iced coffee bad!
@Lion-Cute! Congrats on the job!
@Humble-You make an interesting point. I have heard so many black guys say "I did the dime piece thing and it kicked me in the ass". I think if we stop trying to be superficial and stupid we might actually all find true love.
Now as far as the professional black woman the black man they want is available. The only problem is that he is dating all women but black women. I think that the professional black woman ignored the professional black dude when he was coming up. He remembers what happens and is only going to take rejection for so long. So now that he has his sh*t together now he is suppose to lock for a black woman after everyone has turned him down. My first post plays a role in the prior sentence. Somebody has to think of some way to get these two groups together because they actually want each other. They are just to hurt, scorned, frustrated to see it. I think part of the reason some professional women cant find a man is their choice in men. I just don't get it. Me and my boys were talking about this today and couldn't get it. All of us are engineers. All are married to black women with or without kids except me. So if they were found there are some good men available. They can't be the only ones.
Feels good to get a job dont it brotha lion? Watch the chicken heads pour in and make sure you wear a rain coat…. it gets messy.
SBM: ya its amazing… you warn people not to poke me with needles and they do it anyways. Insult me over and over yet cry a river when someone tells you about yourself.
Heres a brief recap of something miss ER pointed out to me about dating cross culture.
some women wouldnt date me because of money… I met all of their little list thingys but in the end money was the biggest turn off. Someone from another culture decided to date a black man based on him being "hot" and "sweet". Insted of tearing him down and disrespecting him, decides to build him up and love him.
-Black man gets help to get a 2nd job paying a nice chunk of change.
-Black man celebrates by doing the happy dance
Now if any of the over 30 some odd black women I have gone on 1st dates wit decided to stick around they would have a man who is nice and goofy sweet, and is in good shape, and is also not hurting financially…… who am I kiddin… Im fukin BAWLIN.
So yes it feels righteous to make more money, but honestly I am saddened to notice how differently I am regarded. I think I just dumped Miss Alaska. I actually never told her I got a new job, so she poped off at the mouth just now about my car and how little I earn at BMS.
I may be a tad more hostile than normal from having to deal with ABW all afternoon. But why would I stay with a woman who disrespects me in public and dosent appreciate me for what I am insted of what I earn. especially when there are other people who arent as hostile towards me.
Humble I would quickly invest in Teflon fireproof coat after making a statement like that one.
but ya posted the same time as me and echoed what I said only you said it more blunt.
I dont want to come home and fight with an abw. I work hard and make alot of money. when I worked hard and didnt make alot of money you didnt want me… so now I resent you as much as you resent me. Only I have a reason to resent the ABW…. the ABW has yet to have a reason to resent us black men.
SBM was right about one thing. he said my perception on how much I was overly mushy towards sistas would change if I ever made more money.
Nigga its only been a week and I have my finger on the eject button for Miss Alaska. she needs to shake her ass back to an igloo or something, cuz I dont feel I should have to put up with an angry black woman. Dare I say it… I deserve better than what they can offer now.
That boy is officially delusional!!! LMAO!
Jaclynn whenever you're ready.
Comeback i'll keep you posted.
*sidenote* i think i may try out for American Idol next week here in Jax. i won't be eligible next year so why not.
@Humble: since you are able to address both sides of the pain without bashing your fella sisters on this site or stereotyping and grouping us all, I not only embrace your comment I will completely agree. We have to figure out a way to bring the two sides together to confront the hurt and pain. Only then will we be able to come together as a strong and united front.
Don't give up, there are plenty of supportive, loving and thoughtful professional black women out there. God will send you your blessings shortly…you just have to believe it and keep the faith…and be open to what the Lord shows you as your blessing.
@Hasani: Man so here's the deal…i've noticed a theme in your posts. You are constantly EXPECTING to deal with ABW's. do you think that maybe perhaps the universe is picking up that energy and sending you exactly what you're asking for? I dare you to NOT respond negatively to me. I dare you to NOT group me, to NOT disrespect me. I dare you to actually consider that I may be on to something. I dare you to love and respect me as you do your sister and mother. I dare you to take that energy and to walk out your door for the next few days and say, "today i will meet a caring, loving and considerate sistah." I DARE you to have faith in us. And I can promise that the universe(read: God) will send you exactly what you're asking for.
Just a thought, give it a try…for me, for you…for us your cyber family…because despite what you think we all(well most) want what's best for you in your life. We all want for you to be happy…a happy Hasani is a happy SBM.net.
@Teacia – I remember when I use to use punctuation like you. If you don't use it you lose it. You write pretty good.
Humble_One, I think a lot of us have been misused and abused by the opposite sex at one point or another, But why is it that black women are more resilient and they persist to date "within" than to venture outside. Men on the other hand just say fuck it and move on to the next best thing.
My theory is that pussy is pussy, but dick is definitely not dick!! have you seen a white man dance???? lately…….
im just sayin……..
@Mikki-I almost fell off the bed headlong lol…I think you are right pussy is pussy sometimes I hear horror stories and I'm like you knew that shit when you did it now you complaining. Dick has got to be right. I don't have time to raise it. I ain't teaching nothing…they either do it right or else.
@Mikki – It's easier for black women to be resilient because you get accepted then rejected. A lot of dudes get rejected from the start. You don't give them a chance at all. Think of how many men you turned down, blew off, clowned etc. For the most part women don't approach men. Women sit back and get approached and pick and choose who they want from who approaches them. For some guys it takes a lot to come out of their comfort zone to talk to a stranger. A man is only going to put himself out there and get shot down so many times.
Thank you Humble…maybe one day my words will actually change the world as we know it. My pastor once randomly pulled me aside and said a prayers over my words. I had never spoke in church before and had no idea of the path my life was supposed to take, so I was caught a little off guard…but he said he saw me sitting amongst kings and queens, and that my words would make the difference.
It's weird, when I write I feel whatever word I'm typing. I cried writing the post on Eathan's site…it's drained the hell out of me. So I don't do it often(SBM I promise yours is coming one day soon lol)…even my little comment to Hasani removed a little strength from my soul, because I wanted so badly for him to feel the strength he is robbing from me everytime he categorizes and puts us down.
Oh well, enough of the crazy lady rambling.
Teacia for Governor 2014!!
@Teacia-One of my friend's mom once told her that with getting a (wo)man it's your time to be selfish and you should get what you want even if it means you have to cry sometimes. I think it is amazing to have such passionate feelings towards believing that a black king belongs to you and is your right. Can you run for President? I would surely vote. Thank you!
@Humble-This is true. And it seems that black women with some stature are supposedly some of the most difficult to please. But it's because we've gone through years of being mistreated and misused that we tend to feel as though we cannot accept someone. I think it all boils down to love and prayer and asking God to reveal your mate to you.
Amen Jaclynn U are not lying girlfriend, seriously tho think about it, a woman can lay flat on her back and never move a muscle and a dude still manage to bust a nut, but a woman…..u damn near need to have her upside down hanging from some foreign object with her feet touching the ceiling in order to make that happen I dunno about you but i dont entrust that type of uhhhh skill to just any ole body lol…….
Jaclynn one step at a time…Governor first…and then we'll just see where the Lord takes me.
Right now I need to focus on my non-profit and figure out a way to open up an academy for minority girls to teach them how to love themselves and their black male counterparts…oh and of course they will get an exceptional education. My goal is to have the first one opened in the Fall of 09'. I've been praying and I'm still waiting for the answer.
@Mikki-Girl I know. Yes, they do and sometimes they don't even notice that you have not moved. I once asked somebody "do you realize I am not moving?" and he said he was about to ask why but I wasn't sure how…so now you were just leaving! And no you can't trust any ol' random person. I have to really trust you on numerous levels. Plus I got some stuff I wanna try and well not just anyone can do it.
@Teacia-Ok I can go for that. Also, there's something about me you don't know yet. I would love to help you out with your non-profit. That's my professional skill lol
Humble I see where you are coming from, it makes a lot of sense………
I have turned down a few men in my day as I have been rejected as well but nearly not as much as a man would endure so I feel you. However men have to take a step back and evaluate why they are getting so many rejections to start with. Like someone said in another post, your trying to Holla at Beyonce looking like lil wayne……. it just don't work like that most days.
Its not to say don't aim high because your really should, but those same men that are out seeking those above average females are the same ones end up hurt because she was shallow, self centered and golddiggerish. Then thats when all the stereo typing starts to move up on the charts about black women and such n such…..
Yep-I even talked about this with my aunt and uncle. He basically was like you all are mad for no reason. My aunt was like no we are mad for a lot of reasons. Too many to list. And it's not even genuine anger. It's hurt and a defense mechanism to mask it and prevent it from happening again.
like Hasani may have mentioned that a lotta black women wouldn't date him because he didn't make enough money, its an extremely shallow way to be and there is much more to life than what your check stub says, but to me its almost no different than a vegetarian wanting to date a vegetarian or someone who works out 24-7 chance are they are gonna end up with someone of that same caliber.
I personally don't want to be kickin it with Magilla Gorilla but shit chances are that my boo will NOT look like shamar moore or boris, but I still have my day dreams don't I………
"….those above average females are the same ones end up hurt because she was shallow, self centered and golddiggerish. Then thats when all the stereo typing ."
…and apparently the stereotyping is running rampard…why does beauty have to equate to shallowness and such n such.
@Teacia-because that's what "our" culture has purveyed. And if we don't stop it we will be in this circle for the remainder of perpetuity. Our daughters and sons will be suffering and going through the same things and for what? To realize that our son was used cause he might go pro and our daughter because she had a big butt and it's going to start earlier and earlier. How do you explain this to a 13 year old? Simply because the sins of our forefathers will be visited upon our children.
Teacia, beauty doesn't equate to shallowness trust me there are some uglies runnin round here that think they can pull sharmar on a good day lol.
I mean beyonce to me is a very pretty woman (in my opinion) but she is dating Jigga and I swear fo goodness thats one ugly man even when the sun is shining so it can't be that all pretty people are shallow, im just saying sometimes its just like that.
and to clarify when I say ABOVE AVERAGE it doesn't just mean in terms of looks, It could be job related educational wise, anything. I just used looks because thats the most common in which people can relate to. Point I was trying to make is Joe Thug shouldn't be out attempting to talk to Ms America (or whomever) until he steps his game up period…….
If he gets rejected by her, or Ms PHD, or Ms President, can he really label her ABW because she wants better and he just happens to work at the local grocery store???
I also hear men saying oh she didn't want me when I was working at the shell gas station so why should I give her the time of day now?? I totally feel why it happens but if 2 people are working towards getting better they should support eachother, but a woman who finished college and got a good job managed to not get pregnant, should have to put up with some dude that 28 still working at the gas station, and is suppose to "support him" i just don't think its fair….
And don't forget living in his mama's garage.
Im sorry but can we just keep it real ***some*** would STILL be having mucho trouble with the opposite sex even if they had a million bucks in the bank, WHY???? because they aren't pleasant. There are times when everyone on this blog is highly composed and in love and what not, and you still have ***some*** men who want to be disrespectful knowing full that they have sisters and mama's who typify the women they claim that they "hate".
For a man to say that he hates overweight women (and CLEARLY have them in their family) is a much deeply rooted problem than ANY woman digging for gold.
The law of averages REQUIRES that if you dating several dozen people in a short time span, YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE TO CONNECT WITH. Can 3 dozen people be wrong???
with 5 kids and 8 baby mommas! lol Jaclynn
@Comeback-It's like living in the delusional world that everyone in the world is wrong but you…come the fuck on.
@Mikki-Yep and they some how make it possible.
I feel you Mikki. I just know from my experience and those of my friends who are all gorgeous and educated, are either dating or married to average men. Granted most of them have good jobs to some extent…well hell actually all of them do…wow…well I guess I lost my point right there.
An in all actuality, it's been my experience that super attractive men are not as nice as some of the average guys. Average men are like our "white" men in treatment but with a black man's strength and core values. Again I lost my point…ok so i'm calling it a night…i'm all scattered brain and shit now. I guess the safest way to end it is by saying, I love black men…all of their asses…every single one of them.
Good point though Mikki.
lol yea I said 8 because there is 2 on the way he doesn't know about yet lol……..
Comeback let it go…it's not worth it anymore…he's not going to be able to embrace positive thoughts about us if we're not all embracing that it's possible. We need to have as much faith in him and he needs to have in us. And there is nothing wrong with us all being composed and getting along…that's the way it's SUPPOSED to be. The world isn't going to hell in a handbasket from us respecting one another, it's the other way around.
…what just happened to the planetary pull of the eclipse you were feeling earlier…let it go miss lady…let it go.
Jaclynn my young insightful friend…I am thoroughly impressed with your words and spirit as well…yeeeah but not that last comment of yours though…lol.
Ok, so good night again I guess *crossing my fingers…lol*
Damn why am I not privi to the edit button after 2 minutes !! arggggg
anyways I meant to say 3, apparently its past my bed time and I can't count. 5+2=7 not 8 lol
maybe i should go to bed too……
@Teacia-Forgive. I am over here glassy eyed, feeling like I'm high and my cousin is talking to me. And I just don't know.
if i see one more snippet regarding this missing little white girl…are there no little black kids missing. cnn has devoted nearly a week to this case…i mean really…if i hear about one more pregnant white chic missing, or another white college student missing from a trip, or another group of missing white folks hiking their silly asses in the mountain during the windy season, or another law imposed because of some missing white kid, or another white anything missing.
what…are all the black people in this country accounted for cause i sholl haven't seen my cousin juju in a good minute, i'm almost certain someone done got to her ass. damn, sometimes i get mad with the main stream media coverage….black in america my ass.
Its hard to be shunned by an entire group that u want badly and then turn around and worship them. It wasn't until I got a nice job after college and learned to match my tie withmy suit did things start "picking up". Before that was the "dark ages". It's probably one reason I have trouble being overly nice to females and I hate chivalry. Makes me wonder if I'm secretly dealing with years of rejection.
Ahh well … it's late and I'm sleepy
@Daisy: Yes, I am sure it had alot to do with your environment. I personally don't share the same affinity that you do when it comes to men, but there are so many men out here to chose from. As I have mentioned before on this blog, I have lived in a bunch of other cities, Detroit and Chicago included, and I just don't care for the men there (up north/midwest) on the whole. To be honest, I think Detroit was the worse. Men are way too aggressive and disrespectful to women out there. Perhaps my standard and upbringing sets different expectations than yours, but to each his own. I'm sure if you hung around me and the places I frequent, you'd be enamored by the quality of upwardly mobile, respectable men. I don't play that bullsh*t.
@Mikki: My linesister recently moved to Memphis to practice law, and she says that even in certain circles, people are still arse backwards out there. She says it's super hood, but isn't giving up hope yet in finding a nice man to kick it with. She wears her hair natural, and said that some men out there don't understand why she doesn't have a relaxer; that pretty much shows proof of a non-progressive people in her opinion. I agree. There a probably some nice ones out there, but I have no idea.
See now I was going to put chi town on my list……… some reason it didn't click in my head maybe cuz its just to close for comfort.
I am hoping men will get that "she is a sexy out of towner" and be nice to me lol.
I am gonna work on an accent for the next 20 minutes.
and this whole thing about relaxers and non relaxers, I wasn't here when the hair post came up, but I have been growing out my relaxer for a while but i for sure aint walkin around like a chea pet (well some days) while i think men are shallow in regards to what my hair should look like, it is highly perpetuated in the media that long strait hair is sexy, now I can't go blaming all of the tv's video's and what not for this but it is what it is………..
ignorance is bliss but i am not gonna go off on you just cuz u decided today u dont like my fro ya kno, imma just keep it movin somebody out there will like the naturalities of me im sure.
I think I date average looking men, and it works just fine for me. Like seriously, I don't need you fighting me for shine time! LOL!!! Just kidding. But honestly, it is a little harder being a man, having to approach all of these women just to end up getting rejected or BS'd. Conversely, it kinda sucks as a woman to not know which man is a good one, because you definitely can't determine that by his looks. I feel like I am forced to accept the advances of men, just so I can sift through the BS arse N's!
So, for those of you men who were rejected way back when, don't be mad, just move on. Be real with yourself, you probably just weren't ready for a certain kind of woman back then. Maybe you were lame, or had a horrible sense of fashion like dear SBM, but look at you know. You have pulled yourself up by the bootstraps to be the man you probably thought you were some years ago. Don't make the women of today pay for the transgressions of those of yesteryear.
I'm tired. Peace out.
@Eathan: Hey, just out of curiosity? What is it specifically about white women do you like? Is it the body, hair, attitude, outlook, etc?
Yes SBM, shameless, I know . . .
" but a woman who finished college and got a good job managed to not get pregnant, should have to put up with some dude that 28 still working at the gas station, and is suppose to “support him” i just don’t think its fair"
@mikki – i've known and have been cool with the shemar moore types. Women have been throwing themselves at them since they were toddlers. I mean these dudes get women with no effort. When women stare at you with their mouth open you can't lose. I remember I went to the club with one of these cats. He was wearing a family reunion t-shirt, flip-flops, and soccer shorts. This guy was winning left and right. The funny thing is that he was lame, had no gear, or game. This did not turn women away. I am really starting to think that the interaction that men and women have with each other from the ages of 12 or 13 to 21 has a greater bearing on some than others.
@Mikki & Renegade:
" but a woman who finished college and got a good job managed to not get pregnant, should have to put up with some dude that 28 still working at the gas station, and is suppose to “support him” i just don’t think its fair…."
This also applies to men. When I wanted to talk to you before, you blew me off. Either my chain wasn't big enough, I didn't trick hard enough, or I wasn't superthug. Now that you have 2 kids by superthug and you are working as the lottery girl in the liquor store you want me to come over and chill. Or you are calling trying to see how I am doing. yeah right
@SBM – I think I may have the same problem you have with being overly nice and chivalrous. But I always had gear and I had a few women dig me high school. I didn't really start winning until I 16/17.
@Renegade – I am the same way. But since I am a male it is slightly different. I got a homeboy with a potbelly, stays at home with his moms and still is chasing after video hoes. I don't get it. I don't go after the Beyonce or Vanessa Williams type. I stay away from women from the suburbs, upper middle class or middle class neighborhoods. I try not to deal with school girls too.
@Comeback & Renegade- most major cities are not like Detroit. I prefer women from working class, or lower middle class backgrounds. I mean I am not stern on this. I am open to date anyone from any background. But I went to school, church, etc. with them. From my experience if you are not shemar moore, superthug, or just a silly ass n*gga they don't really deal with you. They usually date within their circle. So if you didn't go to college, high school, etc. With them they are usually not open to you. I got boys that get these women all day. These cats got kids by more than one woman, never been married to any of them, and still stay at home with mom. I'm trying to understand how dudes with no job stay getting ass.
Its easy to say get over it, but I'm starting to think many of my former asshole ways (I was a pretty big asshole to women) might have been my way of evening the score. I hate to admit it, but I was whack in high school. In college I was just too nice, but I was winning a little bit. Now, I'm an ass (well before the gf)
@Renegade: How come you've been to so many cities and what sorority?
@Humble: I honestly think women might be more shallow than men overall. Sure we might take that dumb dime home and beat the brakes off the monkey, but we aren't looking to marry them. Women go to these model types actually looking for a relationship. Boggles the mind!
@SBM – yeah its kind of crazy. After a while a guy learns that the video girl is good for fun but nothing long term. But i've seen grown women, i'm talking 35 plus still attracted to these type of dudes. What is also crazy is how i've seen women come up with a guy's personality, integrity, and all just off how he looks.
First of all…Shamar is SOOO how you doin' its not even funny can we take him out of the discussion…Whats attractive to me varies. I'm a sucker for intellectual men with glasses and a tweed jacket–with some EDGE (a tricked and chromed out harley will suffice). I do like a fit man as well. And I love socially engaging men. I find that a lot of "angry men" in the blog world couldn't do "the public thing" if their lives depended on it.
some of these guys are seriously social misfits, hiding behind a computer.
…this conversation is really starting to sadden me a bit.
oh well carry on.
Most of my friends and hell myself included are from the suburbs. We are upper-middle class because our parents worked like hell. I can't say that we take stuff for granted or don't value what we have. I have a friend who can get cat called like hell on the street and couldn't get a bf in high school because guys thought she was a bitch. They didn't even know her. STEREOTYPING at its finest. I think many women might turn to thugs because it offers something different. My dad while not a thug has his own issues and I want someone the opposite. I think for a minute you go with the opposite of what you have grown up with and known. Then maybe once you figure it out you say okay it's time for marriage let me go get the school valedictorian.
@Hair issue-Hmm…I've had a relaxer since I was 2. I don't know anything else..and I keep flirting with growing it out, but everytime I do my white folks haired momma guilts me, which is cool. But I notice I get more male attention when my hair is pulled off my face.
And I can turn the same thing about you. you claim you hate brothas who make average money… but CLEARLY the fact that you grew up mired in the lower end of middle class, your family has to be composed of the very black men you hate.
See the game I am playing with you, and you arent noticing… Im using all the comments you have made about black men you hate over the past year and reposting them about angry black women (not to be confused with happy black women) and your getting your panties in a bunch.
(be prepared to skim this could get long)
Heres a point Ill make…. our community has a problem earning money. Its always been that way. Your type bases worth on current earning rate (not potential) and bases not enough worth on relevant topics like… oh.. lets say… how good of a love partner he is. Your selecting the wrong men to date and for the wrong reasons and the results are catastrophic.
If you date a guy because he is a doctor and going to earn loads of money… be prepared for him to leave you for a white woman once he sees he can upgrade. If you are the type of woman who picks your men based on their stats and not character, be prepared to have your heart broken when he does the same and claims his white prize.
See, I hate most of these TAB's, (tryfe azz brothas) because they have it all, attract our current confused sista… break their spirits and turn them into ABW's. because men approach women faster than women approach men, 1 single ABW can infect 5 normal black men and make them bitter towards black women.
Note: I am more curt with the sistas I meet now, but I was down right a fool and a sucker for them 9 months ago. My stance towards them is one of fear because I dont know if they are going to react to me the same way comeback has on the blog.
If you ask an ABW what created her, she will reference one man. in most cases it is a man who makes a ton of money who left, or the roguish non committal/ bad boy/ Dyllan McKay type.
If you ask a brotha who dosent date black women why he dosent, he will usually give you a LIST of instances were he was attacked, belittled or shunned by the very women who resemble his appearance.
After this happens, we get entire blogs and such of ABW infecting "Sistas" with how bad ALL black men are and how there are no "good" brothas out here.
Notice I have no beef with Ms Deverox. Shes not onyx skinned, not a size 2 ,Phd you claim I only date. Theres no poster I adore more and no person I want to meet more. Yet I have violent clashed with comeback.. who meets alot of the "stats" what I like in a sista (and Ironically I meet tons of the things on her list in what she wants to make a comeback to in her blog)
The difference is Attitude and hostility. Most black men are simple and very loveable. we just want the ability to be nice to you. make it hard for us to love you and other races make it easier…. we are all going to miss out on eachother.
I have been on almost 50 dates this year. Halfway through the year I stated that I was going to steer AWAY from white women. My quest has been (and still is) to find myself a HAPPY sista from the suburbs like myself… fat,skinny,workin at target,or whatever. The white women I have dated still call, the sistas have all dismissed me. All of my 2nd dates with black women have been with those not born in the continental US.
So in my opinion its a cultural problem that starts on the womans side… not the black mans.
"So if you didn’t go to college, high school, etc. With them they are usually not open to you."
I'm sorry I just can't believe this. This does warrant an upcoming blog investigation series in the "D". Are you sure that you just aren't bringing this ideology to the table. Because the rule is, whatever you believe is so, will show up as such.
"some of these guys are seriously social misfits, hiding behind a computer"
I agree. There are a lot of weirdos on here.
"I’m a sucker for intellectual men with glasses and a tweed jacket"
find that funny because some women couldn't understand why I listen to NPR, and watch C-SPAN on Sunday mornings. I don't do tweed jackets but I do wear glasses and still can't let go of sneakers and expensive rugbys.
@Teacia's sidenote-Imagine 2005 being from Birmingham, AL and little rich Natalie Holloway has disappeared. Like four black women disappeared @ the same time and I didn't find out until wayyyy later. We apparently don't matter.
Do you have a harley. http://www.harley-davidson.com/wcm/Content/Pages/…
NOT the ones with the little suitcases on the side. With a freezer on the back. The helmets are SOOO sexy.
@Comeback-I went to the site. Couldn't stay for long. Won't say why. Anyways, would a muscle or performance car work as well?
@Humble-Hmmm…I have a few thoughts on men from Detroit. Did some informal computer research last evening. Can't wait to tell you. I think you will be interested and maybe so will Mikki. Umm…yes, I am back in there this morning.
@HNIC-I agree. It is very much a cultural thing. I wonder what historical instances made it happen? Please enlighten me.
Jaclynn please don't encourage him…do you see how we're all ignoring it. It only gives him the fuel he needs to keep it going. If he wants for us to have a dialogue with him he has to learn how to speak to us like he has some sense.
@ Jaclynn …perhaps to the performance car…my uncle had a muscle car (iroc???)…and l'd prefer performance something a little off the cuff and exotic if you must.
In the DC area…every guy is driving a charger/or a magnum and its a little repetitive. I wonder do they get together and have meetings every other year, do they send out black man bulletins???
@Teacia-Oh and I am confident he wouldn't respond to me because I don't really do his drama. Plus he doesn't no anything about my educational background, how much money I have in the bank or what I look like. Haha…I don't interest him.
@Comeback-Hmmm….yeah….I like it. Haha..black man's bulletins…hmm that would be so nice! It could feature SBM in a monthly column. They should come up with this idea and get paid!
And yes Jaclynn I can imagine how horrible that was. You can compare it to the white chic that went missing during spring break who got that insane amount of national coverage, or the white girl who was abducted and a law was made as a result. Amber wasn't a black chic, she was white.
The same year a black girl was on Spring break and disappeared from a Miami night club parking lot. I only saw a few stories on that before the it was no longer newsworthy…a message which her mother fought to drive home hard. At the same time a little black girl went missing here in Jacksonville, it never made the national news.
The disproportionate coverage is upsetting, and then people wonder why we get upset when men consider white women as an upgrade. Even as children society deems more important the value of a white child's life than a black one. This anger is engrained in us from our youth, but no one wants to address those issues. It's not always a man that does our sensory damage…sometimes it's just life.
as for me not making it in a social situation…. my myspace page isnt littered with people because Im an ass ya know. its because Im a sociable and very talkative guy. I have both of my jobs for the same reason I have lots of friends….. because Im nice to anyone. Remember, Im the person who puts love and friendship before making more money and havin a "expensive stuff."
The, Intelligent, Fit brotha in the tweed jacket that knows how to work a room comment made me laugh… I dont know if your describing me on purpose or not. But dont hate on my tweed jacket and elbow patches … its a Princeton thang "showtie".. dont hate!! You forgot the Salt and pepper beard, pleated gabardine pants, and dont forget about the suede cap, and leather manpurse too.
I would have a hard time thinking any of the 3-5 men on this blog would have a problem in a social situation. Black men are very happy and sociable…. thats dispite most of america regarding us as monsters that want to mug them.
"@Comeback-Hmmm….yeah….I like it. Haha..black man’s bulletins"
i hope I get a cut…off the idea…you are brilliant too. Cause hell dodge magnum could carry the whole edition with all the adverts…since this is a black man under 30 car right now.
Jaclynn: Im a big dumb brute…. I have no answers as I am not a very book smart guy. I just hit things and bring home food. I leave the planning and stuff to you educated pretty things god placed me on earth with, to do the thinking for me and we can hash out a solution together.
To find out why this has happened we would need some type of forum… a place where people can talk about things with a degree of anonymity so they can talk about their feelings and experiences without fear of ruining their reputation or face reprisal. Someone should then try to identify the problem and write a book about it so more people can become aware of the problem. After that we have to take steps to correct the problem.
Identify, Adapt, Overcome, Conquer.
We have taken a first step in Identifying its a problem. and know now its a cultural problem.
@Teacia-Exactly. Black girls are not as valued as even their male counterparts as children. Although I will admit since the onset of Venus/Serena madness I think they get more credit for being able to achieve because I feel sports was the last thing they didn't have a hold on. I cannot for the life of me understand why when you see one of us in a ditch, sexually assaulted and dead because we were abducted getting off our second job they say she was asking for it. But when Molly Sue leaves the strip club/bar in a short skirt and a bra falling over drunk then ends up in a ditch it the national media screams look at the poor girl and what was done to her, she didn't deserve this. So basically out of that all I get is they don't deserve it and we do.
@Teacia-Since he's being smart, I will respond.
@Hasani-Ok..this idea of yours would work, so since we have identified the problem within this blog and we are all in different parts of the country what can we as educated group of black individuals do to adapt then then overcome. Let's save conquering for later. That's a huge job. And when I say we the educated men and women of this blog who are full of strong opinions and passion for what they think is the right thing.
@Comeback-Yep. It could be like heart&soul but for men. I think it would do them some good. What's wrong???? Why do you need security?
Jaclynn…it only lasts for a short time. You too will learn. *sighing* You gotta give him more than one comment, the ass in him will eventually rear its ugly head again.
@Teacia-Yes I know, there's the innocent, optimist in me again. I am going to be nice to him and if he chooses to be an ass oh well it's not my loss. I am in no way angry about anything, therefore I cannot be labeled as an angry black woman. I am just a simple, southern girl who loves her momma and sweet tea plus I can treat a man pretty well *bats her lashes*
"Why do you need security?"
oh…false alarm..I thought there was a knat buzzing by my ear.
@Jaclynn & Teacia: You ladies make such a valid point. I kinda felt bad this morning when I turned the TV off because I didn't care to hear about the little white girl who has gone missing from her grandparents' Orange County home. (They probably left the house unlocked! Ya'll know they do that kind of stuff.) But, then after I thought about all the BS that happens to little black and hispanic, oh and asian too, kids, I went on about my business. WTH kind of statement does that make about our values as country and the way they are paralleled and projected into the media. (Shame on you Rupert Murdock!!!) I also believe that for these same reasons is why black people have the, "I don't care; that ain't got nothing to do with me and mine attitude about so many things."
You ever wonder why at work W people be all up in EVERYBODY else's business?!?!? Why does it matter to you if I'm late? Why are you watching to clock to see how long I am away from my desk? Why is it that just because I'm not all flustered and stressed out like you, I don't "look busy?" They funny!
Everybody: What's HNIC's Myspace name?? I wanna look at his profile . . .
You can go through SBm's spot http://www.myspace.com/singleblackmale
@Renegade-OMG!!! You are so right. I remember one day being in a meeting and my boss was like five min. late. His boss (WW from CT) gets up starts screaming somebody find him, calls him like 10 times but his phone was off. She and the other three white women freaked totally out and I'm like..seriously…he probably just went out last night and had a bit too much to drink no big deal. And…sure enough…thirty minutes later there he was…looking cool, calm and collected! This is why I want to only work with black people cause they don't give a damn. 😉 Hmm…I might sign into Myspace today!
Teacia, you've tried to warn Jaclynn but she will learn this on her own. Jaclynn, keep being sweet though.
@Shelia-I don't know why I am trying to be nice to him. Yesterday, I was so hurt by his comments, but he kinda reminds me of my mom. She does stuff like that so, I am going to try lol…
The Renegage…LOL…some folks are just nosy that way.
🙂 Jaclynn. Be you and don't let nobody change you.
@Shelia-I try, although sometimes I have to wonder why must I be forced into bitchdom? Lol 😉
So I went to myspace friended those of you I saw 🙂
Jaclynn, my page is http://www.myspace.com/sheliagoss
black male children arent valied as much as black girls?
I wouldnt know since i am not a parent (high fives everyone) and am not a child.
But I can sure tell you the world in general views the black woman higher than the black male.
i know you guys like to argue about everything…. and even went so far as to argue that male contraceptives in the culture with the highest silgle mother birth rate in the country… was somehow a BAD idea…
but seriously, is there a single argumentive one of you that would argue the fact that theres no more villified figure in america than the black male?
Hell 7 years after Arab feaver swept this country, Black males have taken our much un deserves spot back.
A) Renegade, you can call me too…. just grab my number from comeback.
b) if you think Im an ass to everyone your falling into the "black male " as a villan stigma again. I have had the same stance on everything and same msg. If I was actually an asshole I would make anyone an enemy without regard for how I look. I also wouldnt have very many friends… I wouldnt have two nice spots at two very respectable companies and I wouldnt have been able to keep someone in love with me for more than… oh lets say TWO YEARS…
I push buttons by using bad logic reversed back at my readers. And by telling blunt truth that people usually dont wanna head.
But Im only an asshole to bitches. I cant stand a bully and will always stand up to one.
Problem is…. we need to see WHAT causes the women to be angry.
We are already seeing the result though. We arent getting together.
this is a huge and rather embarrassing problem. Its embarrassing because we are a race historically noted for our family values and pulling together.
Its like Asian people all of the sudden being noted for low academic scores!
The first post I made on this blog was when someone said that black men were the fault of the marriage rate going down.. and there were no good black men… black men dont want to commit yadda yadda. This cant be the case because black men are getting married at a higher rate than black women. the black woman is beautiful and successful but is still not getting married. The black man dosent earn as much as others and is viewed by this society as a monster…. yet our compassion and loveability shows through and we are. so you cant root the problem directly with todays black man.
I can look around my circle of friends and this is overly apparent. I have 3-4 black male friends that are over 30 and single. all of us have jobs and no kids. But all of us are active looking for a mate. My black female friends and family are not the case, they complain about how brothas aint shit, and none of us make enough money, or we have kids, or we are all players. But none of the sistas or ABW's I know are active in looking for a mate. Most would rather sit home and watch Girlfriends/Sex in the city and worship the lifestyle of the characters.
So Id like to curb the numbers. We could ask an angry black woman why she feels black men are her enemy, and why they view themselves as higher than their peers. that would give us a clue as to the start of the problem (identify)
I wonder if the moniker of an angry black woman is so strong at times… that it must just take a change in society or just time and generations to root it out. for instance. I dont think Comeback if I point out that comeback hates me because of pent up frustration she has because of dissapointments black men have in her life and those of other women around her and that she is transfering those on to myself and men like me…. shes not gonna change. the allure to be angry… oh I ment "a strong " Black woman (rolls eyes) is viewed as easier than being easy.
Omorosa said "Its better to be a strong black woman… than to be a baffoon" and women actually cheered. but she said that in reaction to being told that she is hindering progress of blacks in the workforce by portraying the stereotype. She could change…. but its more glamorous to stay abw.
Im not sure if anything can change over night but I think working together we can at least begin a change or start to.
@Hasani-I am very sorry you feel that way. Yes black man are and have been for some time the most vilified people in the country. This is due to the original historic idea of the black man as a "beast rapist". This is something that the white man wrote into history to make himself feel better about the beatings they did to black men while they raped black women. No other race of people has borne the pain that this culture has. But Hasani, let us remember that while the black man was hanging from the trees, the black woman was raising her babies, trying to keep some dignity as the white man forced himself into her home, her life and her body. And during this time, what was the white woman doing? Absolutely nothing, not a damned thing was being done to protect anyone. In fact, she believed everything that the "master" told her. Therefore, when her husband was away, she took the opportunity to strike and abuse (by any means necessary) the black woman and her children. So there is one reason why many of the women here may feel the way they do. Perhaps, it is inbred, because many of us are women born of strong women who bore the same hurts as our great great grandmothers. And as for you men, the same. Society's history was written by the powerful ones with the money-the white man. It has not changed. History has not be rewritten. Perhaps, if we were all able to get a better grip on where we came from, we can understand where we are and then we will know where we are going individually and together as couples. Hasani, I believe that you are a good man with good qualities but that sometimes you are unable to separate the anger you have as a vilified black man. The pain you feel combined with the pain the women here feel is almost unbearable. Perhaps if you show love to the women here we can show it to you and you will find that these women are lovable sisters. They are someone's daughter, someone's sister, someone's niece, someone's best friend, and someone's mother. And one day, one of them maybe your child's mother and it is my sincerest hope that none of your daughters will have to bear the pain and anger of Comeback, Teacia, Renegade, Shelia or any of the other beautiful, strong black women here. None of them not one is a bitch. And remember you wouldn't want your mother or sister or niece to have anyone call them bitch, please honor the women here and do the same.
@humble: ” I stay away from women from the suburbs, upper middle class or middle class neighborhoods. I try not to deal with school girls too.”
why do you stay away? Who do you date then?
This makes me sad 🙁
*SCOLDING* Jaclynn cut this shit out already!! Didn't I tell your ass to ignore that man, he doesn't deserve any of our energy anymore. He needs it to thrive, so if you want to see change stop giving it to him!!! *end scold*
that is sad….most major cities are considered middle class neighborhoods, so basically you’ve excluded every locale except section 8 housing.
@Teacia-Ok, ok…I won't do anymore. I just wanted to see what would happen if I was nice to him.
I actually think that what Jaclynn said needed to be said..and perhaps from another woman, who isnt a "ABW"…
"They are someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s niece, someone’s best friend, and someone’s mother. And one day, one of them maybe your child’s mother and it is my sincerest hope that none of your daughters will have to bear the pain and anger of Comeback, Teacia, Renegade, Shelia or any of the other beautiful, strong black women here. None of them not one is a bitch. And remember you wouldn’t want your mother or sister or niece to have anyone call them bitch, please honor the women here and do the same."
This is well written…The next time he calls me or any other woman a fat or sloppy "cun#t" or bytch, maybe next time he will ask himself if he would want someone to call his sister or mother or God sister that.
teacia: you seem….. umm… whats the word… angry…………………………..
do you always make a habit out of telling others what to do?
be part of solution not the problem. I know your not really an ABW. and you would rather this society be better because you have a daughter who has to come up in this fractured community. Fractures become, breaks and breaks become rifts… if not fixed.
and Hasani I don't hate you…I just don't like some of the bi-polar tendancies…you can't disrespect me and expect that MOST women are not going to take offense. And then the very next day talking about "we are the world"
my short term memory is very good.
@Comeback-Thank you. I am trying to be a patient and kind God-fearing woman who does not let life take her totally down. You're last comment made me laugh. Michael Jackson!!!
@Hasani-If you know this…don't treat her like one. She's a beautiful strong mother, who truly brightened my days and could probably do the same for you if you allowed her to.
@Teacia-Sorry, had to. Hope you are having a good day!
Jaclyn: yes, thats history…. but now we are in a new era. I know the black woman raised OUR babies… not her own. I have no problem with black women.. as stated many times. ANGRY black women… thats who we all have a problem with.
You cant blame the white women for a damn thing. She hasnt done a thing to you. I know it may hurt to hear, and will be skimmed over because people hate truth. But white women are so not your enemy. Forget that whole master and slave bullshit. Im talkin this is 2008. White women are just as subject to the white mans dominance as the black woman is. ask a white woman who dosent date white men and ask her why. Ill bet you my next paycheck they say its because white men arent compassionate as other men are and because they feel like they are entitled to EVERYTHING.
white women arent sitting at a desk plotting your downfall. I lived with a white women… trust me I know they hardly have black women on their minds.
but me saying that makes me a villan to most black women… and makes me an arch enemy of the ABW.
your nuts if you think I hate black women. Go back in post history and look how much I love them. If I didnt like black women… why have I been a bigot the past 6 months in looking past an entire race (white women) to try and date more american black women?? you wont come up with an answer for that one… because there is not one.
And I have not given up on my own, because its nor in my charachter. Im not a pampered corporate type who sits in my townhouse and plots feng shui elements and how im gonna take a vacation in the hamptons and pamper myself. Im the person who was labeled a sucker because I take the black children we neglect and made them into a boyscout troop.
some men do what he want to do and date who they wants to date (white asian ect)…. but he gives up on his own woman and dosent have any input on to what the results will be. I fight to be able to love black women, even when they dont feel like loving me back. If I hated, I would be like him and not care at all…. Id be "playing in the snow" like a sista so rudely said to me before.
besides… I like dark skinned women. So in order for me to have a hott sexy 18 year old dark skinned, silky haired hottie when Im a 50 year old perv. I need for you guys to actually marry a black man and raise a well adjusted non scared black daughter 🙂
Jaclynn I was initially nice to him, when he was broke and embarrassing himself on the world wide web for everyone to see I had his back. He turned on me one day and I have since learned my lesson. I'm adament and upset right now because we can't seem to relay the pain and sadness he's causing us.
No matter how many times we ask him to respect us if he wants to receive respect he continues to disrespect us. He's incapable of relaying his thoughts and feelings without become hostile and indifferent to the environment that SBM is trying to create.
He continues to try us and SBM, but mainly because SBM allows him to, which really makes me question his loyalty to his readers as well.
Oh well, this is the nasty world we live in, this is the reality of the community we're apart of(blog or other). We love our men and yet we're still loyal to them even when they allow others to constantly tear us down while remaining silent. We are still here supporting him while he completely ignores our pain. We are constantly hear them threatening our wrongdoers but rarely do they stand tall for us.
Oh well, it is what it is…and frankly I quit. Yall do as you please.
And another thing…you know what's funny…there are several men who read this blog and no one has asked him to stop…with the exception of SBM…and even then he had the power and didn't really do anything about it.
But no other black male on this blog has requested for Hasani to stop disrespecting us, they all just sit back and watch the madness unfold. Yeah they occasionally comment on his insanity but no one black male has made a stand for his sisters…what the hell is that all about. I guess chilvary really is dead.
It all just really makes me unbelievably sad.
@Teacia-Well put my eloquent sister. I believe that you are right. I just want to know what makes him act this way. Today he's been pretty calm. Shockingly. As for the rest…I have to close my mouth before I respond.
comeback… if you wanna call my sister fat or sloppy go right on ahead. She would whoop yo ass though…
I was considered substandard and irrelivant because of my income. You use income… oh.. wait… "security" as a reason for putting yourself above the average black man.
I now bring home more bacon than you or any man you will date.
So if you were going to outdo me, you would loose weight and stop the slide you are on. I have no problem with heavy women. My problem is with fat people… the ones who let themselves go.
You use to be one of the most shining and beautiful women I have ever seen. But you let yourself slide into letting your outside look as Horrid as your inside personality.
I keep offering my hand to help you…. with your diet with your mindset with your love life and with your own spirit and all you do is bite my hand and pile your hate higher. You dont want to be helped. If you actually wanted to be helped we can fight ALL DAY on this blog and I will still be on my phone at night to talk to you and reason with you about life or nutrition problems…. that goes for anyone and everyone.
we could talk behind the scenes… but youd rather get attention for being a quick witted angry black woman, and making black men look like navies. This is why you dont argue with me on your own blog… you get no attention there… and why you dont call or email me with your "opinions" about my life… you get no attention there either. I love black women even when they dont love themselves… but tough love seems to be all I can give sometimes.
I will do like I have been doing from the start… using your own logic against you ….
next time you dog a black man out… how would you like it if someone did the same to your brother or father?
See I feel for my sister and I love my mother…. but you hate you father and have no love for your a brother. thats why you hate black men and regard us the way you do.
@Teacia-You are so right. The black males here just let him do whatever. I guess I am used to it. By that I mean men not defending us. In fact, one of my relationships broke up because of this very thing. Now this has made me quite sad. Awww man…
Teacia… if I cut you, I dont cut everyone. You and comeback are NOTall black women.
so stop saying disrespecting "us"
cuz while I get along antagonistically with you two, there are gals on this blog who I have good relations with behind the scenes… dare I even call them friends!!!!
so stop making yourself the avatar of all black women. When I call you out for being a woman who uses men… thats not saying "HOLY SHEET YALL ALL BLACK WOMEN USE MEN… LETS DATE WHITE GURLZ!!!"
what I am saying is check yourself and stop making treating us wrong as something glamorous that other compliant sistas with better set of morals than yourself would use.
You poke me on severale occations. I have shown others behind the scenes a typical blog day and they agree with me. It usually starts with me and SBM at 5am with no type of hostility. And then by the time I get home from the gym Tiffy and Tecia have posted. I reply to their post with a post of my own… and you guys ALWAYS get the hate jumpin off around lunch time. its like clockwork. its like you say in your minds "I gotta check this brotha and put him back in place" that mentality seems widespread.
I usually let a few go… but I will eventually Im gonna retaliate. so dont blubber when I do. You think you can poke me all the time and then cry "help me im a feeble woman" when I cut your legs out from under you?? Are you one of those girls who gets in a mans face yelling at him and slapping him and kicking him… then he backhands yo ass to the floor and you want to start crying that he hit you and no man should ever hit a woman?? ya I bet thats you.
I dont tolerate bullies. Not all black women are as disrespectful to black men as you are. keep making it glamorous to treat us any way you want and there wont be a black society. I for one will only take but so much from you and will retaliate harder than you came at US black men.
As the lyrics of my favorite song go
When I was a young man I was told to take a stand, and damnit boy ya better stick to the plan. Dont put up with people who get in your way…. and,If you push me dont think that I wont SHOVE
working 2 jobs is making me tired 😐
I fear not having any money and a job for this recession.
anyone else as scared as I am?
B.Price did come on here and basically stated what Hasani's agenda was. And it had nothing to do with "saving angry black women from themselves". And other men have alluded to the insanity. I don't really take that as basic disrepect to us, maybe it has more to do with just not talking to "strangers" or getting upset when "touched" people go off in a public place. Maybe ignoring someone is key.
Esp. when their reasoning skills are off. A blog disagreement is NOT a street fight. If I say deal with some of the projection issues, or maybe you need to grieve your past, or don;t talk about saving me when you first need to look within: when thats met with things that you wouldn't call any woman in your family-then firstly HOW MUCH DO YOU REALLY LOVE ME AS A BLACK WOMAN. And when you speak about yourself in negative terms: well thats proof in the pudding right there that you don't love YOU.
So we really can't expect someone to respect us, when they don't love and respect themselves.
Can we please get back to the subject at hand?
Ok…well it has come to my attention that maybe the men just skip over it when Hasani speaks…I love it.
@Humble-That made me laugh. I think we lost it. Hopefully not forever though.
"Ok…well it has come to my attention that maybe the men just skip over it when Hasani speaks"
I was thinking that…no one ever really engages him (man to man) cept for SBM.
what the he$ll were we talking about.
@Comeback-Yeah I know. Exactly…..
Oh and I think we were discussing interracial dating.
I have one for you guys…Heidi Klum and Seal versus Gabriel Aubry and Halle Berry?
@Comeback – i didn't go back all the way so i'm not sure. I know you comment on the women I prefer and their class. Also I heard something about performance cars. I hope we can talk about that. That is one of my addictions.
Heidi and Seal
Seal is so FINE to me…And I love Heidi's spirit. She is really funny on PR ("That dress looks like a homemade hooker"). They make a cute couple too.
Humble …yeah..I dont undertand that…EXPAND..I don't know alot about cars (spec wise). I just like em fast…and that song that used to go "we like the cars…the cars that go boom"
@Humble-Comeback wants a man with a motorcycle. I went to the site and left then I thought maybe a man with a performance car would work…
@Comeback-I don't know much either but oh well….maybe one day I'll find out and I'll tell you…Secondly…I love them as a couple. It doesn't bother me that he's with her…AND as far as Halle goes I just feel that if Gabe makes her happy then right on with it simply because she deserves it.
"We like the cars, the cars that go boom…Comeback and Teacia and we like the boom…"
LOL…aww shit nah…that's my shit!!
I think Heidi and Seal are an attractive couple. Now that Gabriel can get it aaaaaaall day!!
@Teacia-For me it's the hair. Now what about Robin Thicke cause I swear let Paula take one eye off of him and I am having it!
@ the people saying certain members should be checked
Cause getting checked over the 'net can hurt. As tough as it is to seperate your ego from your ideas, a lot of ideas are very close to us. I've been checked over the 'net, years ago. I remember and it still stings a little lol. I wouldn't want to do that to someone else.
2nd reason, cause we're males. And males are territorial and aggressive; I think it's our medulla oblongata (re: waterboy…lol) So sticking up for someone might invoke undue aggression. Usually, it has to be something VERY serious for us to stick up for someone, cause with males it can quickly escalate to a life and death situation. People crazy out here.
Also, sticking up for a woman can invoke the label of "simp" "captain save a blank" etc…..well, that's for average guys. I follow my own code, called "I'm gonna do what's right."
Let me start by saying SBM has some really cool topics. I love to read the comments cause I like to get intelligent black perspective. But HNIC, sometimes you can really disrupt the discussion. There's a tendency for you to come out of left field with some "miss alaska does this" type shit. Not a knock on you, I'm just callin it like i see it. It doesn't seem like the posts really contribute constructively to the conversation. OOOOhhh cawledge words hahaha.
It's cool to play devil's advocate. I do that shit all the time. But it's also important to listen to all of the arguments objectively, without personal influence. God gave us two ears and one mouth. I like to use mine in proportion.
I know after this, hnic is probably gonna bring the wrath my way. Ehhhhh…it happens. I'll take an L (note, i really don't care about taking L's.) if that means this great discussion can go along unhampered.
Just cool out yo. Why so serious?
getting back to the original topic, both black men and black women do have very valid arguments to bring to the table regarding this issue.
black women, who've admittedly been the rocks in our community, getting dissed and disrespected by black men?
this DOES happen. we can't argue this, and, along with other facts i can cite, we cant ignore the fact that we're the only culture in the history of the world to produce and consume music blatantly disrespecting our women.
"average" (and by "average" i mean "not balling, but making a decent living and not terribly physically unattractive") black men getting played by sistas because they didnt have enough income or "swag"?
this DOES happen (i'm not even talking in some "burger king fry cook hollering at kenya moore or stacey dash" extreme, but average brothas who just wanna be with a average sista, but eventually get tired of being played)
thing is, like someone mentioned upthread, both sides need to acknowledge these facts before anyone can possibly move on. continuing to ignore them or dismiss them as extreme examples does nothing but frustrate the other side even more. we collectively need to hold ourselves accountable before we can justifiably be upset at anyone else.
@Teacia – that song is terrible. And I love fast cars too. I have two muscle cars. And to expand on why I prefer women those type of women it's because those are the ones that I usually attract and that will usually give me a chance. Now i am not saying all but from my experience the school girls, upper middle class, and middle class women only talk to men in their circle or men that are affiliated with someone in their circle. From my experience they never gave me a chance. Where as the women from working class or lower middle class families always showed me love.
@ Teacia did i just read that right? Seal and Heidi? I'm still wondering how he got her… but she could be dickmotized …lol
@Jaclynn If I was gonna have a white boy I hang out with.. it would be Robin Thicke.. anytime ya got someone that can sing like that.. I can pick up left ova's all day …every day. Every playa needs a wing man…lol
but to the question posed, any one brave enough to deal with Halle deserves a prize. I hear she's cuckoo 🙂
Yeah Champ that was me above again. I sing that song every so often…think I even did it over at your spot when you guys posted the interracial topic…which got ridiculously heated, thanks to our resident nationalist Sistah Toldjah.
"this DOES happen. we can’t argue this, and, along with other facts i can cite, we cant ignore the fact that we’re the only culture in the history of the world to produce and consume music blatantly disrespecting our women"
…yeah this was the source of the line from my post on Eathan's site about degrading us for all the world to see and expecting for us to not feel anger.
"thing is, like someone mentioned upthread, both sides need to acknowledge these facts before anyone can possibly move on. continuing to ignore them or dismiss them as extreme examples does nothing but frustrate the other side even more. we collectively need to hold ourselves accountable before we can justifiably be upset at anyone else."
…also instead of blaming each other all the time we do need to stand up and address it. We're both wrong and we've both done one another wrong…and until we come together the cycle will continue.
I think I may just come back home Champ…I kind of miss Panny and the crew and the NON hostile vibe over there. *sighing*
@Eathan-She must be…she had two kids in like two years….furthermore…she's beautiful and he can sing.
@why-I fault David Justice for beating her and Eric Benet for cheating because as a woman I wouldn't cheat on Halle.
Humble: Come on down South brotha man…we're not hung up on education and class(south of Atlanta that is)…we love you our hard working gentlemen down here. They may not be the wealthiest or smartest of all men, but they are at the very least real men.
Eathan: Yes, even though Seal isn't super attractive he has an attractiveness about him, maybe it's his gentle spirit…but I can't get mad at the brotha for dating Heidi…don't know why. Maybe it's the same reason I can't get mad at you for really feeling KT35.
Why So Serious: I just don't think he can help it. Oh and I think Halle gets a bad rap…but you gotta expect her to be a little cucko, every man on the face of the planet uses her as a symbol of iconic beauty…that has to do a serious working on your ego.
Jaclynn: You know what they say…show me a gorgeous woman and I'll show you a man who's tired of f*cking her…it's a reality. No one is above being cheated on…not even Halle…those odds kind of makes you sad doesn't it…lol.
Where do u start to resolve this. This is a tough task. Like I said earlier the men get rejected early. So when the professional black women wants the professional black man the damage has been done.
I think we both have to stop discounting one another's pain…who will take the first step…now that's the real question.
@Teacia-Argh…Makes me just wanna quit girl….
@Humble-Hmm..I think you start as early as possible. First I agree with Teacia, then probably have to teach our kids it's not about the material goods or looks. From there, we can be well rounded and love each other.
@Teacia – The thing is I am educated and I grew up in a middle class family. Both of my parents are college graduates and I went to private school. But I have a huge dislike for the fake and superficial s**t some of them do. So I have nothing with those women it's just that they have never been attracted to me.
I think we really need to clarify something. I have NO problem dating "average" men. (btw. I hate that word because I don't think people should speak about themeselves in those terms. Even if you only have 50 cents to your name, nothing about a child of God is average…and we all know how i feel about manifestion, thoughts and words.)
..I have dated MANY men who didn't exactly match me dollar for dollar income wise. I think I speak for many professional women when I say, its not all about the money (ok why did I JUST get a text message ??? after my discussion with the "T")…A.D.D DEACTIVATE…as I was saying
I judge men mostly on their language. I detest. DETEST men who speak like slaves, the man, "I can't get over" and every other negro spiritual about toil and strife. I LOVE confident men. I would take a man who made $5/hr ANY DAY, who could articulate his vision in actionable and POSITIVE steps.
and I would bet MY LIFE that the above man who had a geniune interest in being self-sufficient, abundant etc…would get there. And as a couple I would break my neck to help him.
where I draw the line is cognitive behavior that manifests the very thing he;s blaiming my azz about.
Humble I think it's a cultural thing. My friends are all mostly from the south or educated here. I've noticed that women who have lived in the deep south mostly don't share the same cultural values as our northern counterparts. We aren't as judgemental either, we do require a lot emotionally from our men but for the most part we love them all the same.
Or maybe you need to just believe that you can find happiness anywhere…the pull of the universe is a powerful thing.
The professional black male dosent want to cheat…. the professional black WOMAN is the one thats leaving the households.
its the same as the single life… all us brothas want to do is stay home and play Xbox live in the same house and eat the same cherrio's and go to the same gym and watch ESPN on the same TV everyday. We are complaicent when we become setteled. The professional black woman is aggressive… to the point where she never stops. This spills over into her lovelife where she wants more and better.
to sum it up… we lazy… but we loyal.
They "want more" even when they have what everyone wants.
comeback: same logic.. right back at you. You had to make 3 jumps to try and prove I dont love black women… Ill make ONE with you. You dotn even love the men in your family OR in your love life… how can we expect you to love us?
Last I checked… (pops his collar) Im younger than you and I have lived with and loved a single person FIVE TIMES as long as you have. not double…. not tripple…
I have lots of friends,
I will be the best man at all of my friends weddings
I have lots of dates (47 this year to be exact)
and Children in my community (and their parents) love and appreciate the work and time I spend with them.
Your single, spend time alone, and dont do anything for anyone cept yourself. and wont date anyone you deem… ahem """BELOW"""" yourself. ($$$$$cha ching $$$)
And your trying to paint ME> as a bad person???????????
@Comeback-Preach girl, preach. Yep, I will do the same. If you actively have a vision to get it right..then I am with you…but when you just slump your shoulders and say I'll be in this mess forever….I wanna shake you and say get a grip. First off, God bless the child that's got his own and secondly, I can't help you if you won't help yourself.
Comeback ummmm, $6.55 is the new federal minimum wage…just didn't want you setting your standards to low and all…lol.
the stigma of hate for white women Is like SO strong though.
People go through my myspace page.. they dont notice anything else cept for the first two pictures of me with ""white women""
how stupid is that crap? one of those Evil white women is my NIECE and another one is with my baby cousin, but people are too blinded by the white to see this.
Its like the episode of the boondocks. I have a valid case… but everything gets shot down because they say the word ""white woman"". Last I checked the white woman was not the problem with black men not being employed and not the reason why the STD and single mother rate was out of control in our community.
Shes not the reason your not getting married either. its just the current middle class professional white urban female has more in common with the black male than the professional ABW has… thats why we make good matches for eachother.
at this point in our history only thing we have in common is skin color and grits.
Hasani please stop…if she agrees to leave you alone, will you let it go and once and for all leave her alone. You're killing us sweetie. *sighing*
"…at this point in our history only thing we have in common is skin color and grits."
correction: most of the men on this blog doesn't even like grits…lol…but that was actually funny.
@Hasani&Teacia-True. They like farina! And are passionate about it lol. And I think we have more in common. But the more we attempt to Eurotize ourselves the less we see, but it's there.
@Teacia-I swear you should be a comedian sometimes.
Between work and this blog I think I'm officially spent for the remainder of the evening…and it's about to rain, yeah it's a wrap tonight.
"Comeback ummmm, $6.55 is the new federal minimum wage…just didn’t want you setting your standards to low and all…lol."
UMM…i knew that….i was just taking into account that he couldn't speak any english and wasn't up on the latest labor laws.
@Comeback-Please don't do that. Lol…if he's not speaking English don't do it…I'm telling you…
@HNIC: Stop. Please stop. I think we have exhausted this topic for today, actually for the last TWO days! SBM, please post something new, I'm tired of this topic, and not to mention the going back and forth. No one's perspective is going to change, or be persuaded to subscribe to a different line of thought, so let's just LIG!!!
On a another note, if you're sick of this topic like me, do yourself some justice and visit THE REAL 7 in the meantime. 😉 Shameless plug, I know. http://thereal7.blogspot.com
The latest post is funny as heck!
"God bless the child that’s got his own"..Yes and "faith without works is dead".
You take the first step and God takes the next.
@renegade : the post is pretty freakin hilarious ..
I swear trying to keep peace is is worst than my 9 to 5.
I want to personally thank "Why So Serious" for addressing some of my decisions from a male perspective. Its funny because someone actually thought it was me posting from another name … but I can swear that while multiple personality syndrome is something that several people on here suffer from (I know who you are … I got all kinds of way to know that your the same as someone else) … Its not me.
As a guy, you can't just be jumping up and fighting the fights or every single female that comes across your path. I try and step in when things get too bad and I think Hasani is a habitual line stepper … but u can't go spit in the man's face and then come to me when he retaliates with his whole arsenal. I don't want to ban anyone, so it will take a lot for me to do it and damn it if I'm not gonna try to talk to the man first.
Just so its abundantly clear, I have scolded Hasani publically, pulled some of his comments, edited others, talkied to him offline over email and voice. I understand he "pulls punches" unprovoked … but some of the people he yells at have repeatedly beat the brother down over and over again. They insulted his education, intelligence, choice in women, and his general manhood. That is why he paints his attackers as these Angry Black Women. While I hate the stuff he says often … if I ban him I would have to ban several others. Its funny how some of the same people who say he is so mean and crazy have started their more fair share of fights. When Hasani gets banned … please believe he won't be the only one. Your adults … why do you have to come to "big daddy SBM" to actually censor him … and then some of you have really accused me of not doing anything … or not being a man about. Shut that shit up! Stop throwing stones and the nigga might stop firing bullets.
Also, while his rants are way too long and laced with derogatory terms … he's only been at his worst this past week. I guess as a guy who calls his own friends (males) bitch all the time … in addition to Bitch Ass Nigga … and Cocksucking Sumbitch … I guess I just don't get offended as easily. Shit … some of the stuff I've been told on this site and offline would make others tear up … but I guess thats why my heart is ice cold.
Hasani: I can't take this shit anymore. People are calling me, I spend hours everyday reading and trying to address the shit you start, I'm stressed, my blood pressure is up, my "girl" is mad at me, and I swear to god this bullshit is the reason I just couldn't get up to go to work today. Nigga … I feel your hostility … trust me … but what the fuck! You just don't go around calling people whores, cunts (which I didn't know what that bad of an insult), and bitches … at least not on my motherfucking site.
Why am I about to shut this heart attack inducing endeavor down? One guy with a little spare time tries to express himself and this is the shit I go through.
25 and I'm about to get a fucking ulcer because of my own people … my own family.
Where is the fucking pepto bismal!?!?!?!?
hahahahahaha…..so much drama in the sbm! I cant wait to see the RANTS tomorrow .. I can only IMAGINE
oh and i hope you feel better sbm
SBM you stayed home from WORK because of this??? is it really that "serious" REALLY ???
Maybe part of the problem is that the lines that the boundaries you draw for Hasani constantly MOVE. What are you saying here:
Nigga … I feel your hostility … trust me … but what the fuck! You just don’t go around calling people whores, cunts (which I didn’t know what that bad of an insult), and bitches … at least not on my motherfucking site."
It reads like duplicity meaning your telling him to stop his references to us women in derogatory terms, but you don't see the insult in "cu%nt, bytch, cu%mdumpster, or sl^ut. (I've been addressed as everything BUT a cum$dumpter).
SBM let me ask you this as your blog sister. Do you feel that sometimes people bring outside frustrations to situations and project. I've said this many times. No one can make you feel "beat down" without your invitation.
He can call me a spinster, lonely, fat, everything but a child of God, and I don't object because he projects. But when he makes broad stroked statements that if your "fat I don't like you"…well he's dissing every woman over 5'7 1/2 and 168 pounds. He's dissing women who haven't even DONE anything TO him. Please tell him that.
DAMN!!! I haven't read anything but SBM last comment. All I can say is WOW ARE SERIOUS? It's gotten that bad. Well I guess with this blog we can say research shows that blacks can't get along even when they are in cyberspace. I won't even address all the other stuff because its like beating a dead horse we have all talked about this plenty of times. Had a peace day and all kind of shit. Apparently nothing has changed ( I guess that is why we have freedom of speech). I hate to see the site go away, if that is for real. I can't imagine what the comments above say that brought SBM to this point. I am just blown away. What is the problem with you adults? Is it everyone trying to control what someone can and cannot say because you can't do that? If a person doesn't show you respect you stop engaging in conversation…is that brain surgery or just simple math?
Just a thought… If Hasani pisses everyone on here off why don't those people he piss off ignore him? Who would he argue with then. Its third grade psychology, if a person is bothering you, just ignore them. They will either go away or adjust their actions accordingly. Since none of you ignore this man he continues to antagonize you. Do you agree?
My rule of thumb if a person is speaking something you don't like IGNORE them. Why waste the energy?
Feel free anyone to explain to me why you all let Hasani control your emotions in this comment section.
I am gathering all this from SBM last comment so if I am way off…go ahead and correct me.
Honestly, alot of this makes me laugh because my friends and I talk some real crazy shit to each other so like SBM I don't think people here could handle our convo…lol
As far as the post though…. I agree date whoever will make you happy. Life is short and you don't have time to be a people pleaser. Love the one that loves you, and those that can't flow with it can keep it moving. I don't know if I would be in a relationship with someone outside of my race because I love black men. I get excited when I see one the peaks my interest (which is alot). I probably would maybe go out just to see what its like.
One of the first steps is to stop blaming the "new" person on what somebody did to you in the past. We're not all alike. We also have to forgive ourselves for some of the decisions we made. The blame isn't always on the other person.
Black men, sometimes you know a person is "out of your league" before you go approaching them, so don't blame all black women because that one particular woman rejected you. The same can go for a Black woman. If we women want a certain type of man, we have to look at ourselves and see what we're bringing to the table.
Look at each new person as a new possibility and most importantly, let it go and stop holding grudges.
So I guess I'm officially single again.
Damn … actually listening to R&B.
@Ms. D: Check your email …
@ Teacia I luv me some grits! I like'em with sugar.. I like'm with butter..I like'em dammit!
Eathan…well you are in the South…it's these up north niggas don't understand the greatness that is grits.
SBM…you moderate me but not Hasani…lol…I guess when you're the one being called out you moderate that shit…a bitch ass move I tell ya…now censor that. Oh and don't forget to keep that John Legend in rotation…since it was so special to your lying ass.
Yeah Ms. D check your email…
Ok let me stop showing my tail…it's so unbecoming.
Ha………..just when I checked in………T.
yo, I stopped reading…….tied……..but shit SBM.
yeah….. security is back…
@Teacia: Its my blog … I moderate as I see fit. I block who I see fit. I do what I want. When you start paying for the hosting, stay up till 2am writing posts, then feel free to moderate, comment, block, and edit as you see fit.
I don't walk in your house and start pulling pictures off the wall and moving your furniture.
All I ever ask for is respect over my shit and how I run it.
@SBM – I'm sorry to hear. Are you ok? What happened? I have an excellent break-up playlist if you want me to send it to you…
does anyone know what lion was trying to say?
"does anyone know what lion was trying to say?"
I think its some type of male-ese…..I would get my popcorn….But I have poked every eye I got, the third, the second and the 1st.
sbm ur absolutely right. my apologies.
yeah some kinda code-language… I think the basic jist of it was post something new tomorrow… this post is CURSED … It was "As the World Turns, then Dynasty and THEN DALLAS .. where JR (HASANI) got shot but then somehow was magically brought back to life…
I've been sitting here eating rice cakes .. like damn what will happen next…
Guess I should get written something for tomorrow..
@ok the discussion today has been weird
yes very uh … how do i say .. uh BI-POLAR conversation today … everyone needs to take some Lithium and come back tomorrow!
Miss D … I miss you when you dont post.. it makes my week sad to not hear your cheer and rationale. will you be my fwiend? pweese?
I gotta admit…..
Comeback is supprised SBM called out of work because of this…
I went home from work today after getting upset about this blog too.
IM laughing about it now… well sorta.
but between worrying about the future.. Im not use to being single its such a shallow and uncertain feeling, worrying if I can find a mate and worrying about the economy/recession and yall TWO just jumpin in my shit and Miss Alaska jumpin in my shit…. ya I went home from my new job at lunch time and didnt go back.
I feel ya SBM.
Officially single? Damn son. Ill tell you about the date I had tonight…. she was a "FilipiNegro"…. make you feel betta! see you cant keep a good man down, remember we are the most loveable men on the planet… us american black men.
Am I th eonly one who understood lion? He missed the R and said he stoped in to say HI and wanted to read but was tired… HES A TIRED BLACK MAN TOO…. then he said for SBM to post something… then made a LOL comment that "oh shit son secrity is back".
Now all we need is someone who understands me when I rant. anyone out there other than comeback that can translate Hasani to ebonics?
IM gonna say this one time….
She shot JR…..
but JR came back and slapped the fuckin snot out of her fat face for commin at him……
What a good show that was…something to think about.
Expect some rules tomorrow. I'm not letting this site raise my blood pressure anymore.
I think the ulcer has subsided and the R&B is finally off.
I really need to go back and read some old topics. Some of you have to be a lot closer than you let on. I just can't believe complete strangers can catch feelings like this.
My mouth is wide open. I have to say this blog caused unnecessary stress for all. I mean it has truly been ridiculous. I am sad to see so many of the things that have gone here.
SBM:I am sorry that everything happened.
@Humble: LMAO!!! Thats the same thing I say. How the hell can complete STRANGERS be so crazy toward each other. But they say they all met on here…weird huh?
"How the hell can complete STRANGERS be so crazy toward each other"
thats a good question Ms. Dev…lol…i'll take that to meditation.
George Bush doesn't like Black people.
that is all folks. take care.
@Teacia-you are hilarious.
That's funny…me and George Bush has something in common thanks to the commenter's on this blog.
Just Kidding folks…
Tell GW to check his chart: http://www.astrologyzone.com/forecasts/
I got mad love for my folks.
@ Hasani: hello… thanks for the love. How are you doing? I have been very busy and sounds like you have been busy on here too. We can only be cool if you play nice cause you have been pissing everyone off here so….
I can't understand how so many people get so worked up over a blog.
Its a blog people. We are more animated here … speak more freely … talk more shit. But really … we all gotta calm down.
Let the church say AMEN!
Its bedtime everyone so say your prayers ask God to forgive you for your evil ways and lets start over fresh tomorrow.
All the newcomers sorry you had to see all this mayhem. It won't always be like this.
I'm just now coming to this blog and this post, so this may already have been said before. I'll give it a shot anyway! I don't have a problem with people dating "outside the race"–my own father is New Yorican so I can't really judge (although my Rican fam is the same as the black fam just in a different language!). It's hard enough to find someone you vibe with without having all kinds of restrictions about race. What I have a problem with is brothas who down sistas while they're partaking of whitie. I mean, just because the black women you've dated have been shrews (or worse), don't put that on the rest of us!
HNIC, while I can appreciate your Captain Kirk mentality (sorry, I'm a nerd), when you say things about getting "flack and resistance" from sistas, you say it like it's a foregone conclusion. Why do you assume that you'll get "flack" from the sista? While this may have been your experience once (aiight, I'll give you a few times) you may want to also consider that your attitude when approaching said sista is defeatist (and reluctant at best) and she picks up on that. Ain't too much worse than a man who's unsure of himself when making the approach except maybe one who's making that approach just on GP.
P.P.P.S. I preferences are currently this, black woman, white woman, Latina respectively… And I wouldn't mind my unborn daughter to get a rich white man…
P.P.S. I'm mad I missed the fireworks… But I wouldn't have been well equipped like I am now…
P.S. @ Jaclynn made a fantastic point last year… I never ever see extensive coverage of a beautiful black sista when she goes missing the way they go hard over N Holloway… It is dispicable… This is a legitimate gripe against the white woman…
@SBM I mad I wasn't here for this… 22 blk male
Iight… If the issues in the black community were 100% the black male's fault… I would scream HALLEUJAH… because then, the problem would be SP EASY TO FIX… Even 75% of the black man's fault I would be happy… Easier to fix…
IMHO I believe it is 20%/80% black man/black woman… But by improving the men… You can accelerate the female's improvement… But it is still on the female's to get her shit together…
@HNIC has proved to me time & time again that black women cannot HANDLE HONESTY… That is holding black women back… It leads me to believe that bw don't self-reflect…
They can vilify us… Throw us under the bus on National TV… but then when it is time to condemn the black women… Now we have to come in love… My logical brain is on the fritz with that one…
Beside the point noted above about missing white women vs. Missing black women… I need this question answered… Black women really get mad when the white woman get brought up in a conversation…They spend way too much stressing over Becky when they could be pleasing their black men…
Oh… As far as IR dating… I am BEGGING black women to date outside the race (except that ones that I want ROFLMAO)… I truly doubt that white will put up with the myriad of issues that black women bring to the table… Starting with the fat chick
BTW… Women are judged by looks… Men not so much And the more graceful ones love to be complimented on their looks… So… Women cannot afford to be fat and then expect top notch men in DROVES… men can get away with that… Life's not fair…
I live in NYC & black women don't even look my way… I speak proper, I'm corny, I'm TOO NICE, TOO PERFECT, They don't smile… Attitudinal… Quick to emasculate you… Alot are overweight… & have kids… But then wonder why I am with the white girl… Really hypocritical… By the way brother's in LA say the same thing… I wish it was just a NYC thing so I can move… My problems would be easily solved if I moved down south… The women down there are much more approachable…
The last subject is the thug loving… I don't have a problem with women picking a thuggish man over me… It used to plague my brain… Until she ends up with a kids by him & he ends up in jail… Keep in mind, educated black women mess with thugs too… The problem happens when she has a child by him & then he abandones her… And instead of saying I fucked up & I don't want my daughter repeating the same mistake… She vilifies the man, taking no personal responsibility & doesn't help her daughter make better choices… That is almost evil to me… Until BW look in the mirror… In 5 years BM dating interracial is going to balloon very quickly… And black women will only be seen as pump & dump women… I love y'all, but I gotta be honest first…
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